Broken Wings
A FFVIII Fan Fiction
CHAPTER 5
I'd Trade My Ma For a Hot-dog

As I sit here in this wretched little fox hole early in the cold Trabia morning, shivering a bit from the icy wind that never stops blowing, I scan the horizon for any sign of an impending attack. As mission commander, I'm forced to endure long nights of sentry duty, guarding a peaceful village which I don't think is likely to be attacked. For one thing, the Shumi Tribe is the least likely target I can think of. No one in the world has a reason to attack them, so what the hell am I doing here standing in the snow, waiting for some unforeseen enemy to strike?

Ahh, hell. I know a SeeD's not supposed to question his mission, but this is a little ridiculous.

And as I stand here, I can't decide which is worse: the freezing cold, the food, or the annoying way the Shumi talk.

First of all, this place never, ever thaws. Even in the middle of the summer, the wind whips trough these mountains with a vengeance, the snow continues to fall and the temperature never rises above freezing. I can't wait until I get back to Balamb where it's still a little chilly, but I know it's much warmer than this.

Second, I hate Shumi food. They live on a diet that consists of only fruit and nuts and it's not polite to turn down anything they offer. I haven't had a hot dog in thirty-two days, seven hours and fifty-four minutes. Make that fifty-five minutes. I'll tell you one thing, Zell Dincht is gonna be mighty pissed if there are no hotdogs waiting for him upon his return to Garden. Get my drift?

And third, the Shumi people have this strange way of talking. At first, it's kind of quaint, but after thirty-two days of hearing them speak about peace, harmony and the life-force of the planet, I wouldn't be surprised if I go ballistic on the next one that starts spouting off about the energy radiating from the bowls of the earth. Don't get me wrong. They're great people, and they're very relaxed and laid back, but spend a month with them and you'd go out of your head too.

Which brings me to why I'm here now. A little over a month ago, the Shumi Tribe requested that Galbadia return the freedom of the thousands of Moombas enslaved within the country. They didn't ask for the return of the Moombas, just their release from slavery. Galbadia pretty much laughed and thumbed their noses at the peace-loving Shumi. So, of course, they called us to protect their village, claiming they received threatening information from the Galbadian government. Which, is why me and two other SeeD's are stationed here in this hell on earth.

Who ever said hell was hot is a liar. It's freezing here.

Half numb from the cold, I'm relieved when one of my comrades, Anda Doral arrives offering a cup of coffee and his company. Anda is a pretty cool guy. He's not a martial arts expert like myself, but I respect his abilities. Even though he tends to rely too much on magic and ends up getting the crap kicked out of him in most cases, I like him a lot. If he'd just concentrate and fight, he'd be all right.

"Hey man," I say, watching my breath turn to ice the instant I utter the words.

"Hey," he replies. "Damn, it's mighty cold out here."

I give him a dirty look. He's been inside for the last several hours, in a nice warm bed with blankets.

He shrugs and smiles hopefully. "Any word on when we're leaving this place? I got a girl back in Balamb you know. I'd like to see her again before I die of hypothermia."

"I know the feeling, man. Hate to bring you down, but we're stuck here until they tell us to go home," I say, indicating the entrance to the village and the Shumi beyond.

"This is the most boring place I've ever been," Anda comments, sipping from his coffee cup.

Anda and I have spent most of our time here playing cards, fighting the monsters in the surrounding area for the exercise, and sleeping. Not much else to do. We've already explored every corner of the village four or five times over, already seen every rock and flower and sculpture there is to see. I've gotten pretty good at cards. Maybe good enough to challenge Squall when I get back. That is, assuming I ever do.

I sigh and take a sip of the coffee. It's nice and hot, and it warms my insides as it goes down. A gallon of this and I'll be nice and toasty.

"Hey," Anda says. He cups his eyes with his hand, placed just above his eyebrows and scans the terrain. "What the hell was that?"

I follow his gaze, but I see nothing. There's not a trace of life in this barren, hyneforsaken place. "You're seeing things" I tell him and shake my head.

"No," he whispers. "There it is again. Right over there, past the ridge."

I follow his gaze. There just past the ridge are what appear to be three Galbadian soldiers and they're marching this way. Finally, some action.

"Bring it on, baby," I say and hit the panic button that will awaken my other comrade, Jilly Strife who is resting up for her turn at sentry duty in the village below. Knowing Jilly, she won't be pleased to be woken up, but she'll change her attitude once she sees we're about to do battle.

"There's five now," Anda remarks squinting his eyes against the glare of the snow. "And what appears to be some kind of machine."

I peer out into the endless field of snow and can barely make out what resembles a giant metal spider. Oh fuck. "It's an X-ATM092"

"A what?"

"An X-ATM092. Those things are almost impossible to kill. Better equip Quezalcotl." For the first time, I'm thankful Anda has stocked a buttload of magic. We're going to need it. "If you've got any thunder magic, be prepared to use it."

Jilly appears, sleepy eyed and very annoyed. "What the hell is so important that you have to interrupt my last hour of sleep?"

"That's no way to speak to your commanding officer," I remind her, hiding a smile.

"Get bent Sir. Tell me what the ordeal is or I'm going back to bed."

I think I'm in love Jilly, as crazy as it sounds. First of all, she's a knock out. Blue eyes, dark hair. This perfect heart shaped mouth. But I think if I ever admitted I had a thing for her, she'd knock the crap out of me. She's so bitchy, it's funny. No, in fact, sometimes it's downright hysterical. I just love her personality; her anger is what drives her and her pissy attitude often serves us well on patrol. On her more crabby days, she can slice the crap out of a blue dragon with her Katal without any help from us. I hope she's in one of those moods today, it'll really make this battle easier. "We've got G- army incoming," I tell her and pass her my cup of coffee, which is growing colder by the second.

I'm feeling panicky, so I begin to swat the air with my fists to work off all the nervous energy. People say I'm a show off, and maybe I am a little, but most of the time, it's because I'm scared out of my wits. Like I am now. G-army or not, I'm really not looking forward to fighting that stupid mechanical insect. G-army I can take out with my eyes closed, but that thing had a special place in my nightmares for months afterward.

"Those fuckers are going to pay," Jilly mutters and pulls on a warm wool cap to cover her ears.

We ready ourselves for the first attack. There are now eight soldiers and the X-ATM092. This is getting a little beyond our scope.

"I count twelve," Anda says, sounding as nervous as I feel. We're now far outnumbered, even if you don't count the oversized piece of junk with them.

In desperation, I summon Quezalcotl as they approach the village. He appears and lightning shoots from the sky to the ground in a blinding flash. The resulting strike sends a shockwave of electrical energy fifty feet in each direction around my target. The ground shudders and my hair stands on end from all the static energy in the air.

The X-ATM092 shudders, but continues to march its way toward us. Two of the soldiers have fallen from the attack. I immediately summon him again, hoping if I pound them with the guardian from afar, I'll lessen our chances of being beaten to a pulp.

"Aww, screw this," Jilly says and rushes the soldiers who are now only yards way from our fox hole.

"Jilly, no!" I shout, suddenly terrified for her life. Sometimes I think Jilly goes looking for death. I can't believe what a foolish thing she's doing, rushing out into the icy cold to fight ten soldiers and a giant mechanical spider by herself. Brave but stupid. I follow her out with Anda close at my heels.

Almost immediately, we are showered with bullets fired by the G-army. I feel one pierce my shoulder, pain flaring through my upper body. My guardian, Quezalcotl is KO'ed. This is not good. With the bulk of my magic gone, I must rely on my fists. Still, I keep going. Should I loose, I'll be forever unable to look Squall in the eye, that is, assuming I live through this. He's the one who recommended me for this position against his and everyone else's better judgment. If I fail, I prove everyone right.

Anda summons Cerebus, who comes instantly. Then, he casts heal and then aura on all of us. I feel the wound close around the bullet, and then unleash a Booya followed by a Meteor Barret on the nearest soldier. He falls dead into the snow.

Beside me, Jilly slices through another soldier with one sweep of her Katal. The soldier falls, his blood coloring the snow crimson around his dying form. Jilly moves on to the next one without so much as a glance at the fallen soldier.

Anda is busy spraying bullets into the body of a third soldier, who shakes with the impact of each bullet that enters his form. He too falls into the blood spattered snow.

Hey, we're not doing so bad.

With all the soldiers finished off, we are left with only the X-ATM092. This will not be an easy fight.











I was right in the beginning. When you depend on people, when you need them to feel whole, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak. I'm right back where I started from. I'm alone with no one to care about me anymore. I'm better off alone, I think. I'm too difficult for anyone to deal with for long periods of time, and I don't blame Rinoa for giving up on me. I can't give her what she needs and I know I'll never make her happy, so it's probably best for me to give up the ghost and go on with my life.

Yeah. Easier said than done.

I had nightmares all night. In them, I faced Seifer over and over again, as if on a continuous, never ending loop, where in the end, I was defeated by Hyperion countless times. I feel as if I actually did battle all night, my muscles ache, my head thunders and I'm exhausted. It didn't help when I woke up to find four extra passengers aboard the Ragnarok, one of them Rinoa.

I haven't seen her yet. I think she's hiding from me, and it's probably for the best that I don't see her either. I'm not angry with her; I just can't bear to look at her right now for fear of losing my resolve to go on. Besides that, I don't know what to say to her anymore. I want her back, but I don't think that's up to me and nothing I can do can change it.

Presently, I stand in the cockpit, where Laguna has given Selphie control of the Ragnarok. I actually feel a little better with Selphie at the controls than Laguna. At least she pays attention to where she's going.

"Hey Laguna," she quips with an evil grin, "You wanna find out if this baby can do a barrel roll?"

I'm half afraid she might actually do it. And Laguna, who's apparently never considered the prospect, looks as if he might consent. So much for my confidence in Selphie's competence at the controls.

"Unless you want me to vomit all over you, don't," I warn. My stomach isn't exactly stable after the amount of boozing I did last night and this threat is somewhat valid. It wouldn't take much for me to lose it.

"Spoilsport," Selphie pouts and throws me a dirty look.

A soft beeping noise draws me to a small display screen to the left of the pilot controls. "Uh, guys?" I say, "There's a message here from Garden. How do I receive it?"

"Push the red button to the left of the screen," Laguna replies and then returns his attention to the control panel.

I press the button and before me appears an image of Nida and Headmaster Cid. "Go ahead," I say, seeing concern on both their faces.

"Hello, Squall," Cid says. His normally good humored expression is strained and hardened. "We've got a situation here. I wish you and Quistis had consulted before going off for the weekend. We can't have both the Commander and Assistant Commander off gallivanting around the world on pleasure trips at the same time."

"I apologize sir. What is the situation?" I ask, worried that something terrible has happened.

"Early this morning, the Shumi Village was attacked by G-army forces," Nida says, his voice trembling. "We have two injured, one dead from our party."

I swallow hard. Zell was one of the SeeD's stationed there. I'm deeply concerned but as commander, I can't be biased towards friends, so I only ask, "And the Shumi Tribe?"

"Nearly annihilated. The village and surrounding areas are now in Galbadian possession," Nida replies, now more confident. "The two injured SeeD's are on their way back to Garden now."

"Who are they?" I have to ask.

"Jilly Strife and Zell Dincht."

Thank Hyne. Zell, for all his annoying tendencies, is still my friend, commander or not. I am thankful for his safety.

"What are your orders, Sir?" Nida asks.

My orders? How do I even tackle a situation like this? Do I strike at the source? Do we go reclaim the Shumi lands? Do we wait for another attack? Should we get approval from the two remaining clients before we launch an assault against Galbadia? A thousand questions run through my head as sit there, unable to move. What do I do?

"Ready our forces," I say, still uncertain of how we should act, "and prepare everyone for travel. We'll depart as soon as we arrive in Balamb."

"We copy that, Squall," Nida says. "We'll be waiting."

I sit back and rub my forehead. This is going to be a really long day. Not exactly what I had planned for the afternoon, but what can I do? Oh well. Still have forty minutes to figure out how to handle this situation.

"Laguna, can you make an announcement for me?" I ask. "I need everyone in the conference room as soon as possible."

"Sure," he replies and the P.A. system clicks on.

"Selphie, come with me," I say, gesturing for her to follow.

"What's going on, Squall?"

I shrug. "You'll find out soon enough."

Everyone is waiting when I enter the conference room, everyone except Rinoa. I take a seat, and anxiously await her arrival. When she enters the room, she's red- eyed and pale, and she's wearing her hair differently. There's a different part to it, more off to the side than she usually wears it. I'm still amazed at how long her hair has grown. Must have been really absorbed with work not to notice how long it's gotten.

"Everyone have a seat," I say, standing and facing the large picture window at the front of the room. We are above open waters, and all I see before me is blue on blue, an endless expanse of cerulean and turquoise. With a sigh, I begin to speak. "Shumi Village was attacked by the G-army this morning."

There is a collective gasp from the group.

"Zell was stationed there, wasn't he?" Selphie asks. I can hear the concern in her voice.

"He and Jilly Strife were injured, Anda Doral was killed, along with almost every Shumi in the village." This is damn depressing. I hate being the bearer of bad news. I turn to look at my comrades and they all seem shocked. I understand their feelings. We'd never dreamed Galbadia would actually attack the village, despite the Shumi involvement of SeeD in their attempts to gain the freedom of the enslaved Moombas. The Shumi's have never been a threat to anyone, and SeeD presence was there for protection purposes only.

Rinoa's face expresses a different emotion than anyone else's, something other than shock. In hers, I see anger bordering on rage. Her jaw is set; her eyes are hard and cold. I know she's silently cursing her father, hating him more than ever before. I can see in her eyes that she wants vengeance. She wants justice.

I love Rinoa for her keen sense of justice. She has a compassionate heart, and she's never been able to tolerate the suffering of others or injustice perpetrated against others by those that wish to rule the lives of innocent people. It's clear from her expression this is something she feels deeply about, and has already become deeply involved with. Hell, she was handling the negotiations between the Shumi and Galbadia. No doubt, she blames herself for what has occurred.

"Don't blame yourself, Rinoa," I say softly. "It's not your fault."

Rather than responding, she turns her face away from me, unable to meet my gaze.

"So what are we going to do?" Quistis asks.

"I was thinking we'd attack the source." I reply. "Assuming the Timber and Dollet agree. They might even be prepared to back us up."

"I want in," Rinoa says, her face still turned away so that I can't see her eyes. "I want to be the one to confront him. And then, I want to cut his head off."

These words are startling, and there is a loud silence as all eyes turn to her. Every one of us is shocked by the coldness in her voice and by hateful way she said it.

"Rinoa, we need you at Garden. We need to keep in contact with the two other clients involved in this," Xu said, sounding a little uncomfortable. "They trust you, and only you."

"I don't care. I'm going." She folds her arms as she looks up at me. Her gaze is frigid as her eyes focus on me, and only me, unblinking and full of anger.

"Xu's right," I tell her.

"I'm going."

"Rinoa," I say as I kneel in front of her and hold her gaze in mine. I know if I tell her to stay, she'll sneak out and go anyway. Maybe get herself killed. "You want this that badly?"

"Yes." Her voice is firm and smooth and hisses just slightly on the end of the word.

"We're going to attack Caraway head on?" Quistis asks. "Rinoa, he's your father."

"He's nothing to me anymore." She stands, not looking at anyone, and exits the room, leaving us all feeling disturbed. How many of us in this room would have given anything to grow up with a father, rather than in an orphanage and a military school? It almost seems sacrilege to denounce one's father. But I try to understand her hatred for him. Rinoa had a special relationship with the Shumi and Caraway knew it. Was it a deliberate attempt to punish her for shutting him out of her life? A way to get back at her for trying to force him to release the Moombas?

I turn and face the window, staring out again at the sea. Barely visible in the distance is a sugar white line that I know is the beach near Balamb. We'll be there soon.

I feel uneasy. I don't know if I've made the right decision. Uncertainty makes me uneasy. It makes me question myself and my motives. I begin to question my abilities. Nevertheless, I can sense that an uncertain future awaits all of us. I sense that things are about to get ugly and that maybe, after this, things will never be the same again.




Who is "Squall?" Ever so often, I open my mouth, and this name comes out of it, leaving me dumbfounded and slightly disconnected. When I utter it, I feel a pang of loss, a need for this person, this man, that I've never, ever felt before. It feels as if I'm a young girl again, pining away for a lover who is lost to me. There's a deep ache in my chest and I become slightly breathless.

I loved once, you know. Before I became what I am now, or, what I was. When I was a girl, barely sixteen, I loved a man who did not love me back. I loved him deeply, and I foolishly gave myself to him. Foolishly let him bed me, thinking he'd make me a woman and love me forever. I dreamed of being his wife, of bearing his children, two sons and a daughter, and growing old together. But, as men often do when a girl gives herself to him too freely, he lost interest and left me all alone.

It was then that I came into my own as a sorceress. The rage I felt when he left me standing alone in the falling snow was more than enough to strengthen my resolve and propel me into a disastrous fury. I unleashed my pain and wrath against the people of the world. I conned the prideful fools of Esthar into believing they would inherit the world if they followed my guidance. Fearful of my powers, they readily obeyed my every command. They gave me my hearts desire and bought into every lie I sold them.

And I don't feel any regret. Pitiful fools. All of them.

But that was a long time ago. I am Adel the Sorceress now. I am feared but respected. Loathed but revered. I am weak now, but in due time, I will regain my strength. I feel it in my soul. I've no need for love. The very idea of it is alien to me. I am as incapable of love as I am of mercy. Mercy and love are sentiments of the weak.

And the first order of business will be destroying that damned fool Laguna. He must be destroyed. He's an imbecile, yes, but I was wrong to underestimate him. Laguna was the cause of my undoing, he and Dr. Odine. The only reason I spare Odine is because he has promised to bring me the knight who will stand by my side without fear or question.

"Squall," I hear myself whisper in the darkness that surrounds me. "I'm lost."

I am perplexed. This is not my voice, these words are not mine.

Who's there?

My only answer is the silent room around me. That terrible longing inside fills me with a need to find him. I shall die without Squall by my side. Is Squall the name of my Knight? Is he the one destined to betray Rinoa unto me?

I must wait patiently for this answer. There's no use in searching for the answer at present, for I have been weakened by my lengthy slumber. When my strength returns, I shall seek him out. I can not tolerate this duality which I feel when his name rolls from my tongue. Love has no place in my world. It's a lie, plain and simple.

Odine had better bring Rinoa to me, and soon.

Rinoa. I can feel her within me. She is the same as I. Descendent of Hyne. She is my rival and my sister, my destiny. Together, we would be unstoppable. It's a pity that one of us will fall by the wayside on our journey to destruction.




Dollet is mounting an army. What can I do but show up? They may not want me, but I'll be damned if I sit around while a war is going on, twiddling my thumbs and drinking my life away. Seifer Almasy is not the type to sit around and loaf when there's action to be had. Not when there's a chance to reclaim my reputation as a world class warrior. Not when there's the fame and glory of heroism to be had.

I spent all day honing the broken tip of my gunblade into a razor sharp edge again. The blade is shorter by three inches, but the tip now has a slightly in-turned curve, so that should I bring my blade down upon someone, it will tear into them as a hook might. Brutal, but effective. Even if I merely snag a body with this, they'll be in a world of hurt.

"Almasy, Seifer D." I announce as an older man with a battle hardened face stands before me, eyeing me up and down, sizing me up.

"Ain't you that punk that got all them people killed?"

"Unfortunately so, sir." Regrettable, yes. But let's be honest; there's no denying who I am. "I'm reporting for duty, Sir."

The man makes a chuffing noise and smirks. "That the same gunblade you used to murder people?"

"Yes sir," I reply. People will never forget. I will always be murderer to some, there's no getting around that. But this is my chance to be the hero I was destined to be.

"Ain't got no place for you here, son. Go on home." He turns away and moves on to the next young man, a pimple faced boy who appears to be about to wet himself.

This wasn't what I expected. They're supposed to laud my abilities and crown me a leader, questionable past or not.

"Sir, I feel you have made a mistake by judging me so soon," I say to his back. I'm consciously not speaking to him with disrespect. Sometimes, kissing ass gets you what you want, and I'm sure this man will buy it. "I'm probably the most skilled fighter here. You'd be a fool to pass me up. I have more battle experience under my belt than I care to admit, faced countless monsters and fought one of the toughest men in the world a number of times and walked away with only minor injuries."

"Is that so?" the man turns back to me. "And who is that?"

"Squall Leonhart. I trained with him at Balamb Garden, under the supervision of Quistis Trepe." I know these names will ring a bell with him. Both have received massive attention in the past two years, along with the four others in their party. The party that includes my Rinoa.

My Rinoa?

"Well," he appears to be reconsidering. "all right. But if you do anything stupid, you're gone. Don't want no attitude, no talking back and no going against orders. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." Yes! I'm set. Hell, I should be commanding this army. I probably have more collective experience in my thumb than all these fresh faced boys that surround me combined.

Not only is this my attempt for regaining the respect I once had, it's also a way to get away from Fujin and Raijin. As friends, I love them dearly. But they have their own lives now. Somehow, it feels wrong to continue interfering with what they share, the future that is now mapped out for them. And I can't be a third wheel to anyone.

I have other reasons too, but only one reason stands out above the rest. She is the missing piece in my life. That one attainable thing I could never comprehend and never understood that I was missing. Now attainable, I must do everything in my power to lure her back into my life.

Beyond that, I need to make reparations for what I've done, so that in her eyes, and the world's eyes, I shall be scrubbed clean of the blood that stains my existence.

Maybe I'm lying to myself again. It could be that my hopes will never live up to what happens in reality. That's the story of my life.

Man, Seifer, what's happened to you? One night with a girl and you turn into a big romantic fool again. Not just any girl, though. Rinoa. The girl Squall had and lost. The girl I lost to him. The girl I could never forget about.

I have showed up to fight, but it's my intention not to just fight, but to lead Dollet to that ever-elusive freedom from Galbadia's iron reign. I want glory. I could give a damn about Dollet and it's people. I'm their Achilles heel, the citizen they wish would find another city to terrorize. But I don't want to be forgotten. I want my name to live on in the history books, not as a traitor, but a hero.

And if I have anything to do with it, a hero I shall be.

Soon, I am handed a small envelope containing my assignment. Carefully I open it and read it's contents. "Assault party," it says. What the hell is this? Does this mean I'm going to be on the front lines in battle?

"For those of you assigned to Base team," the hard-faced man announces, "You will remain here at camp. You will be directly communicating with Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly." There is a gasp from the crowd. Too bad these people don't know her like I do. They're afraid of her, despite the kindness she has showed the people of this town. "She is our link to Garden and its SeeD forces. Rest assured, she can be trusted."

Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly. Hyne, I love the sound of that.

"Those of you assigned to the Defense team will also remain here. However, your duties will include patrolling the city and providing defenses against any invasion we might encounter," he continues. "And finally, those of you assigned to the Assault team will travel to Deling City, where you will assist in a direct assault against the powers that be. If you are assigned to this team, report directly to the train station following this announcement."

This is exactly what I'd hoped for. This is my chance to prove my worthiness to the world, it's a chance to redeem myself. I know I've been assigned to this team, not because of my abilities, but because it's easier to get rid of Seifer than to deal with him. Little did they know this is precisely what I wanted. Fools.

The old man proceeds to make a corny speech about freedom, justice and the Dollet way. I pay little attention to what he has to say, and instead picture myself leading the attack on the president and his corrupt henchmen, slicing through numerous G-army soldiers and reclaiming my title as a brave man.

And maybe, If I'm lucky, when it's all said and done, Rinoa will be mine.

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Notes
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I'm determined to finish this....the dog doo will soon be hitting the fan, rest assured readers.