BROKEN WINGS
A FFVIII Fan Fiction
Chapter 13
I Betray Thee
Elle. There's something you need to know.

Tell me.

If they kill Adel without weakening my body enough to make her pull away, it's game over for me. That is if I can't gain control of myself first. She intends to take over my body and use me to do her dirty work.

Are you sure?


Yes. They're going to have to wear me down to the point of collapse before she'll let go.

When this happens, what are they supposed to do?

Hit Adel with everything they've got.


The Pandora has started to move. It gives me a bit of hope that my friends are still alive.

"Brace yourselves, 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy landing," I tell my team as I take control of the Edea. I can hear Iris whimper behind me, and I don't blame her. I'm not exactly experienced at piloting large, heavily armed experimental aircraft. But, what the hell, I don't have many options here. It's either fly it and die trying or do nothing and have the deaths of my comrades on my conscience for life. I don't even want to contemplate the fact that that might be the case anyhow.

I pull the craft into a steep left climb and circle the Pandora in search of some weakness I might be able to penetrate. We got through before, in the Ragnarok, but it was a much larger vessel, and Quisty was on the cannons firing way. Perhaps I might try the same technique. It's risky, though. Those hydraulic bombs are no joke. If they were to explode on impact, we all may be dead. If my friends are still alive in there, I might be signing their death warrant.

Down below, I spy a hole in the side, formerly the entrance from Odine's lab, and I let out a cry of excitement. I can't help myself. There might actually be a chance that they're alive! "Crash landing," I tell my team. "Rowan, you'd better have your harness on back there."

"What do you think I am, a moron?" he replies, but I hear the distinct click of the belt behind me, and I grin to myself. I aim the nose of the Edea at the hole, and silently say a prayer. Hyne, please let my friends be alive. I don't ask you for much, so please, please let them live. I'll swear off hotdogs. I'll be nicer to the cafeteria ladies. I'll never take your name in vain again, if you'll only spare my friends.

This is kind of like driving a car. If the situation weren't so grim, I'd be enjoying the hell out of this, but seconds before impact, I wonder what kind of effect crashing into the side of the Pandora will have on those bombs. If they're armed, then we're dust.

We hit hard. My breath leaves my lungs for several long seconds, but we haven't been incinerated. I peek out of the windshield to see that the the nose of the Edea is wedged deep inside of the Pandora. All around us, the walls pulse like the northern lights. Curious. It didn't do that the last time. Something must be happening inside, and I hope that something means my friends are still alive. I unbuckle myself and climb from my seat. The rest of my crew follow my lead and I turn to them. "All right, guys, this is it. I don't care what Xu ordered us to do. I don't want Rinoa harmed. I know we're going against orders, but they don't understand." Neither do I, but they don't need to know that. "I'll take all the blame if we're punished."

"That's good to know, Zell," Rowan says, his words laced with sarcasm. "You're assuming, of course, that we make it out of here alive."

"Rowan, do me a favor and shut up for once. Please." Iris says as she checks her junctions.

So maybe Iris is getting over her fear of speaking out. I couldn't have said it better. "Let's go."

They follow me through the winding corridors that all look the same to me. We could be walking in circles inside this thing for all I know. And that pulsing light is starting to get to me. It's creepy. And what the hell is that buzzing noise? Where's it coming from? I look back at my team, and I can tell they hear it too. Iris' eyes sweep left and right, up and down in attempt to locate that sound. I've never heard anything quite like it before. It's musical, yet discordant, enchanting, yet irritating. Just like the lights. The colors ripple and swirl inside the walls, intense, then weak. Sometimes they're rhythmic pulses of light, and other times, they're erratic and nonsensical. Sometimes, the colors form shapes. I could swear a little while ago, I saw the image of a crow preparing to take flight, it's wing's outstretched, and it's head towards the sky.

"The lights are beautiful," I hear Iris mumble, and she stops to touch the wall beside her. When she removes her hand, a faint imprint is left behind, then becomes giant sized and dissipates into thousands of spirals. "There's so much energy . . ." she mumbles again.

"Iris, focus, ok?" I say to her and continue my way through the maze of corridors. I could swear we just saw that boulder a few minutes ago. Shit. We really are going in circles. I hope my team doesn't notice that the scenery in here is never-changing. We keep going around and around. It doesn't matter which direction I turn, it seems, because we always end up in the same places.

"Hey, Zell!" Jilly cries as she suddenly spots us. She's up ahead, having just come from a passage to the left of us

"Jilly!" I cry, thrilled to see her. "Hyne, I thought all of you were dead."

"Almost," she says. "Come on, we've got to go help the others."

I nod and follow her.

Just when I begin to think we're never going to find them, I hear the sound of a woman's laughter. Rinoa, maybe? It sounds like her, but it's far away, so I can't be too sure. "Can anyone tell which way that came from?" I ask.

"Where what came from?" Rowan asks. .

"That laughter."

"I didn't hear anything," Jilly says.

"Iris?" I ask, hoping that she at least heard it, and that it wasn't wishful thinking on my part.

Before she can answer, I hear it again, longer and and clearer this time. "I know you heard that." I say. "Somebody tell me they heard that!"

Iris nods. "I heard it the first time."

"Where's it coming from?" I demand, though I know they are as clueless as I. It sounded like it was all around us, not coming from any particular direction.

"This way," Jilly says and I follow, glad that she knows where we're going.

"No, no, no, no, you can't be my mother!"

This time the voice is very clear, and I'm positive that it's Selphie speaking. There's something about the shrillness of the voice that no one I know, other than Selphie, possesses. Though what's she's talking about is beyond me. Her mother? Maybe I didn't hear that right. Encouraged, I break into a sprint, and my team follows me.

Yeah, baby! This is it. They're still alive. Thank you Hyne! If I ever meet you, I'm going to kiss your feet. Oh, and that hotdog thing....I was just kidding. If you're as powerful and all knowing as they say, you know I'll never completely swear off hot dogs. But all the rest of it, I meant it, ok?

Up ahead, the path curves, and I'm anxious to see what state my friends are in beyond this final corridor.

"What is that noise?" Iris asks as she stops in her tracks. She looks up, trying to locate the sound.

I hear it too. A weird noise. Like laundry flapping in the wind. Lots of it.

"Birds?" Jilly asks as he turns slowly around, also searching. Her eyes travel slowly along the ceiling and then along the walls.

"Yeah, that's it. Birds." Iris nods, and her eyes are wide and frightened. "I'm . . . I don't really like . . . birds."

"Oh, great Hyne!" I cry. "Who cares? Let's just go get my friends and get the hell out of here!"

"Zell," Rowan says, "Look."

I follow his gaze to the path behind us. A single crow stood motionless, peering at us with his wings outstretched. "Caaaw!" It cries and begins to flap it's wings frantically, but can't seem to gain flight.

Iris screeches in terror. "Zell . . . it's looking . . . at me." She shudders and takes a step back as if it might attack us.

Great. This is just what I need.. "Just ignore it, Iris. It's one little bird. It's not going to hurt you, ok?"

"If it does, I'll cast Aero on it, and it'll be gone," Rowan says.

"Um, ok," Iris says, still staring at the bird as it continues to flap it's wings at us.

Iris has a point. That thing is damn creepy. This whole place is. The noise, the lights, all of it. I won't admit it to my team, but it's really starting to get me. I don't like this at all, and I want to get out. I feel claustrophobic all of a sudden, in my own skin. I don't like my skin! It's . . . moving or something. Is the noise getting louder? Hyne, make it stop. I just want to save my friends, ok? That's all I want.

"Zell, are you ok?" Jilly asks. Her voice is distant, and her face is fuzzy.

It is then that the blackness hits me.




Seifer.

Rinoa's voice comes to me like a whisper in the middle of the night. I stand ready to attack the SeeDs the second the order is given, though it doesn't look as if I'll be doing that for a while yet. Adel is too busy cooing over the cheerleader.

Don't believe anything she says. She'll betray you in a second. Once this is all over, she means to kill me, and then you.

Why should I believe you?

Because I know things about her that you don't. She thinks I can't see or hear her but I can. Don't trust her.



I can't believe what I've done.

I sit here in Squall's office, anxiously awaiting news about the situation in Esthar. Cid sits across from me in silence, waiting for the same thing. He sits in silent contemplation of my actions, and the longer he goes without saying anything, the more worried I become about my future at Garden.

Earlier today, I made some executive decisions based on the situation there, and the decisions I made were based mostly on jealousy. I realized that there was no way I'd ever become commander unless something happened to Squall and Quistis and I saw a way to make it happen and a way to eliminate both Sorceresses at the same time. I thought in the long run, I was doing a good thing. I thought by sacrificing our team for the sake of the world, not only would I be proving my abilities as leader, but also exhaulting our elite to the status of legend. Cid had advised against a direct strike when the Air Force General of Esthar contacted us but I went behind his back and accepted the contract.

When Cid had found out what I'd done . . . well, it wasn't pretty.

I didn't expect to feel as guilty as I do now, waiting for word about the teams. I've done a terrible thing . . . .

"Xu," Cid finally begins, his face pale, his eyes full of grave disappointment that causes my heart to pound with regret, "I can't think of anything to say to you. You'd better pray that they are all right, because if they're not, so help me, you will never see the light of day again."

"I'm sorry sir," I whisper and cast my eyes downward.

"Sorry?!" he cries, displaying an emotion I've never seen on him before: anger. It isn't an emotion that suits his cheerful face. "Do you realize that I think of them as my own children?"

"I realize that and I'm sorry."

Cid takes a deep breath and then exhales. After a long, uncomfortable moment, he speaks.

"Xu, I have no choice but to put you in the brig. You'd better hope that they live, for if not, that is where you will spend the rest of your days."




Zell?

Elle? Is that you?

Yeah. Listen, there's something I must tell you.

Uh, Elle, this is a really bad time. I have to find Squall and the others.

I know. But there's something you have to know before you do. Rinoa's not herself.

I know that Elle. Something about her being a crazy Sorceress or something. Got it.

You don't understand.

Tell me, then. I've got to go.

Adel possesses Rinoa. But she is also still Adel. Gentler, but still Adel. Adel controls both bodies. Do you understand?

Not really. How can Adel posses both of them? I thought when a possession took place, the one who's doing the possessing, their spirit leaves their body temporarily.

That's the way it's supposed to be. I don't know why it's possible here. But I've been in touch with Rinoa frequently, and she helped me understand some of it.

This is crazy. Stupid sorceresses.

Zell, you're missing the point.

Sorry.

Laguna said that they switched places. This is what he told Squall. Unfortunately, that's not accurate. They didn't switch, they both exist in both bodies, so if the wrong one is killed, we will never get Rinoa back.

What?! So which one do we kill?

They decided to go for Adel and hope that once she dies, she will release her hold on Rinoa. Trouble is, there is more of Rinoa in Adel's body than there is in her own. Adel is trying to take over Rinoa permanently. She wants you to kill her old body so that she can take over Rinoa for good. Rinoa dies if you kill Adel. And Adel takes her power.

So you're saying that we have to kill Rinoa? No way! I'm not doing that. Besides, how is that even possible?

It shouldn't be possible at all, Zell, but it is. The Lunatic Pandora makes the impossible possible. Things can easily become confused there . . . direction, personalities, souls. Dr. Odine told me once that inside the Pandora, water can flow uphill, and in certain places, you're able to walk horizontally.

This is totally nuts. What am I supposed to do then, kill them both?

Well, I spoke with Rinoa just a few minutes ago. She seems to think there may be a chance that if you weaken her, then Adel might release her hold on her mind and retreat into her own body. Once that happens, you must hit Adel hard, before she has a chance to recapture her.

Why can't we just attack Adel? Wouldn't it work the same way?

No, it wouldn't. It is Adel that has taken over Rinoa. Rinoa can not retreat back into her own body, at least not without a fight. She hasn't the will or the strength yet, but I'm working on that. She's afraid to do anything that might get all of you killed.

This is worse than I thought. How am I supposed to tell Squall this? He won't attack Rinoa, no matter what.

I tried to get through to him earlier, but I couldn't. You'll have to think of something.

Hyne almighty.

...................disconnect




I wish there was a way out of this. Try as I might, she's too strong for me to fight. I can see and hear everything that's going on around me, and I'm powerless to do anything about it. I wish I could tell them I love them all, and to kill me if they have to. Death would be better than becoming a tyrant, a murderer. I don't want to be called evil. No one in the world would understand that it's not me doing this because it's my body that will commit the atrocities to come. My face. My name. But I don't want to die. I now have something very important to live for.

And what about the child I carry? What about him? I've only known of his existence for a short time, but I already love him. I've named him already. Arden. My father's middle name. Hyne, I regret so many things. My father is dead because of me. Because of Her. I won't lose my child because of her too.

The problem is, who's child is he? It doesn't really matter. Not much. I'd love him just as much if he was Seifer's child and not Squall's. It is because of Arden that I haven't given up yet. I don't know what to do. She won't release her hold on me.

This is what hell must be like.

"Adel, stop simpering over that girl so that we may finish this," my voice says. The echo in here is funny. It makes it sound as if I've spoken from the very walls that surround us.

"Don't be such a bitch, Rinoa. It's been nineteen years since I've seen my daughter, so have a little sympathy," Adel snaps.

Adel has Selphie wrapped in her arms and smothers her face in kisses. Poor Selphie is horrified. I don't blame her. Adel is a hideous woman, and I can feel that her grip on Selphie isn't exactly gentle.

It's weird being in two bodies at once. Not only can I feel what Adel is making me do, but I can feel what she's doing too.

Last night, when I transformed, I thought I was gone. But at some point, I was able to separate myself from her, not much, but enough to know that I am still myself. I may be hidden away somewhere inside, but I'm still here. Adel knows it, and she's afraid. She hadn't expected me to hang on to my former self so tightly. Because it means that she couldn't completely conquer me.

I'm stronger than she thought. I may not be able to fight her, but I have been able to construct a barrier against her in my mind. Just a few moments ago, I was able to get a message to Seifer and he heard it. Adel did not.

Elle seems to think that if I can detach myself from her grip even just a little, then I might be able to regain control of myself. I wish that were true. I've been trying since Elle told me about Arden, and I'm growing tired. I will sleep soon.

But if I do, there's no hope for any of us. Elle made that perfectly clear.

"Stop right there!" a familiar voice calls out. My head turns to see Zell, Jilly and a pair of younger SeeD's at the entrance to the corridor. Each casts dispel on a member of the team, and one by one, they shake off the stop spell that had held them frozen. The moment of truth is upon me.

"Seifer, take care of the SeeDs," Adel makes me say.

No, Seifer. Help them. Don't listen to my voice. That's Adel controlling my body. Listen to me. Help them defeat Adel. Please.

"With pleasure, my lady." He looks at me, his face a picture of confusion. He's unsure of what to do, and I am unsure of who he is addressing, me or Adel.

"Zell, good to see you man," Irvine says as he shakes off the paralysis. He aims the shotgun at Adel, ready to fire upon her.

"You don't know how good it is to see you, buddy," Zell replies. "I thought you were all dead."

"Let's do this," Squall says in a quiet voice. I feel so badly for him. He looks exhausted, and I know it's because of me.

"Seifer, take care of the SeeDs," Adel orders as she sits down and begins to rock the trembling Selphie in her arms as if she were an infant.

Selphie. Not only do I have to survive this for my child, but for my sister too. She's the only blood I have left. The funny thing is, because of Adel, I now feel motherly towards Selphie, as if she were my child too.

Adel makes my hand pattern the air in front of me and my friends are all hit with a powerful ultima spell. Helplessly, I watch them all rock back in pain from the blow.

Let go of me, Adel!! I will not let you kill my friends.

Adel looks at me and laughs. "They're going to kill you, my dear. They know about the switch."

No. No. No. No! Seifer, if you can hear me, help me. Help them, Hyne almighty, help yourself!

"Squall, we attack Rinoa first," Zell cries. Oh, thank Hyne! Elle got through to him.

"No!" Squall yells back. "Don't touch her."

"Squall, trust me on this ok? If you never trust me again, please, just trust me now!" Zell runs forward and strikes at me, catching me in the gut. Searing pain spreads across my abdomen.

The baby. I don't want to lose him. Not now.

Why did Elle have to tell me about him? Why? If I live and he dies, I don't know if I can live with that. But this must be done. It's the only way to stop Adel.

Squall's face crumples and I can see how uncertain he is. "Zell, if you're wrong, I will kill you. I swear to Hyne I will tear you limb from limb."

"If I'm wrong, then we're all dead anyway," Zell says.

I am in a silent battle of wits with Adel, using every ounce of strength I have in me. If I can help it, I won't attack my friends again. Adel is preoccupied with Selphie, and it's easier to fight her off than I thought A powerful bolt of lightning strikes me, and my body shakes violently as the currents of electricity course through my body. Beside me Adel shudders and lets out a shriek, as if she were the one who'd been attacked.

Seifer, please help them.

He looks at me, hesitant. I know that he's unsure of what to do. He doesn't know if he should believe me or not, and I don't really blame him. Adel has promised him me as a reward when all this is finished and that's what he wants more than anything else in this world.

Quistis is next. Her whip strikes me square in the chest, and there are tears in her eyes as she backs away from me. "Forgive me Rinoa," she says in a trembling voice. "If you can hear me, forgive me."

I do forgive you Quisty. As Squall might say, it's nothing personal.

Adel cackles at this and casts cure on me.

She makes me cast meteor and I am forced to watch as flaming stones pummel them, striking them about the head and shoulders. Jilly collapses into a heap on the ground, her dark hair spilling across her face.

"Iris," Zell calls out, "Bring her back."

Iris casts a life spell, but Jilly does not get up.

"Zell . . ." Iris says timidly and she shakes her head.

Zell lets out a cry of pure agony. "Damn you Adel!" He becomes enraged and begins to unleash every limit break he has upon me, one after the other, weakening my body considerably lowering my health level to my own limit break.

It is then I become the crows. I become thousands of them, I see out of their eyes and cry their cries. They stand atop one another, creating my outline. I am no longer a woman but a thousand blood thirsty crows standing together to create the illusion of a woman. With all my strength, I try to reform myself, back into a body, but it's already too late. As one, they all raise their wings and gain flight. They cry as one and begin to circle the air above my friends. Their wings pulse with electricity and that strange opaque light, like the walls around us.

Irvine's eyes follow them above, and he attempts to take aim upon them. However, they begin to spiral, spinning so fast that they become a great tornado of electrically and feathers. "Holy mother of Hyne," he utters. "That's one hell of a party trick, Rinoa."

Every one of them, including Seifer, is swept up inside the cyclone and I hear their moans of agony as each one is zapped by a bolt of lightning so powerful, their HP levels are lowered to one.

The flock dissipates and every one of the crows return to where I stood previously and reform my body, piling themselves upon one another until I am whole again.

An exhausted Squall hands out x-potions then takes one for himself.

"If you can't attack her, at least take care of Seifer, Squall," Quistis says.

"Wait," Seifer says, looking defeated. "I'll help you."

Thank you, Seifer. Thank you, thank you!

He nods and summons Diablos as the little boy, Rowan, attacks me with a stunning flurry of his blade. I shudder and contemplate letting them go ahead and kill me. I know they're all doing this to save me, but I'm tired. I hear the baby crying inside me. They've injured him too, maybe fatally. If he dies, I will want to die too.

Squall has yet to strike me. I don't think he can't bring himself to do it. What a fool I was to think that he didn't care. Silently, I begin to cry.


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Notes
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Hmmm....so much is new here, including Seifer's surrender. I also added a short Xu passage, an even shorter Seifer passage, and that short Elle/Rinoa narrative at the beginning. This chapter was so weak it wasn't even funny.