BROKEN WINGS
A FFVIII Fan Fiction
Chapter 14
If One Should Fall
Do you have any idea what it's like to suddenly reach a moment of absolute clarity? A moment when you know that everything you've done and everything you will do is all tied up in one particular instant and one particular choice? You can see the fork in the road ahead of you, and you can see the places that each path will lead you to. All my life, I've walked the roads that others were afraid to walk, made choices that I regretted later, and now as I stand facing yet another choice that will change the rest of my life, regardless of which path I take, I know with absolute certainty that I'm finally doing the right thing. For once, I've listened not to the call of glory but to the call of my conscience.

That's not to say that I don't have selfish reasons for helping the SeeDs. I've never admitted this to anyone before, but Rinoa's the one I never quite got over. There have been many women in my life, so many that I don't remember all of their names, but Rinoa's the one that left me with the feeling that I'd left something important behind when she was gone. All those unanswered what if's in the middle of the night. I thought it didn't matter, I thought life would move on and I'd leave her in my past but I never could.

So imagine what it was like to hear her plead with me to help. She is what I came here for. Not the promises of immortality, fame and fortune Adel made to me. Adel used Rinoa to manipulate me. Like a fool, I believed every word of it, never truly realizing that Rinoa's wishes were wholly different than Adel's. Hearing Rinoa's voice inside my head saved me from making yet another foolish mistake.

At my side, Zell says, "Why you helpin' us, lap dog?"

As much as I'd love to call him by my favorite pet name for him, I hold my tongue. "Because she asked me to. Got a problem with that?"

"Nope, as long as you don't get anyone killed."


Rinoa seems to be weakening, but Adel is far from finished with her. She casts a curaga and Rinoa's posture straightens a bit. Her hand raises in the air, patterns a spell I've never seen before and she screams, "Draw Apocalypse!"

"Gotta wear her down before she can complete the spell," Zell calls. "Squall, Iris, stand ready to cast cure. Everyone else, ready for attack!"

I cross myself in the name of Hyne, something I haven't done since Matron made us go to temple as kids, and I raise my blade. "Forgive me, Rinoa . . ." I whisper as I lunge forward and let my blade fly in an upward arch, putting every ounce of strength I have into it. I close my eyes as the tip catches. For the first time, I don't want to take credit for the damage done.

Irvine follows up, firing a few rounds of pulse ammo into the Sorceress. She rocks back and clutches at her wounds with trembling hands.

Quistis has reached her limit break and unleashes a Shockwave Pulsar upon Rinoa. The light from the spell is so intense, I'm forced to shut my eyes against it. Not that I want to see the results anyway. Shockwave Pulsar is no joke. Quistis hit me with it during my reign of terror two years ago and it took me weeks to recover from it.

"That did it," Zell says as the energy Rinoa was attempting to draw begins to dissipate. "All right, let's finish this and go home."



I hate this. I hate myself for having to do this. This is the first time I've been given a leadership role that I didn't want. I hope Elle was right about what we have to do because if not, I'll forever have Rinoa's death on my conscience too. It's bad enough that my heart is weighed down by guilt because of what happened at Shumi Village, and it's looking worse by the minute. Squall's trying with all his might to revive Jilly, but I don't think there's any hope that she'll come back.

Damn it all to hell.

Iris casts triple, then casts Aura on Seifer, Irvine and I, allowing us to reach our limit breaks without losing strength. Seifer goes first, unleashing his fire cross upon Rinoa. She screeches and retaliates by casting pain upon Seifer, who is apparently junctioned against it, since the spell seems to have no effect on him.

Irvine begins to fire repeatedly at Rinoa, and he mutters swear words with each shot. He hates this as much as I do, but like me, he's resigned to the fact that it must be done. It must be done, whether we like it or not.

Adel has healed Rinoa again with a curaga, but it isn't enough to keep her from trembling, and it isn't enough to return the color to her cheeks. Slowly but surely, we are wearing her down. I wonder how close to death we have to take her before Adel is forced to release her hold.

Beneath my feet, I feel the Lunatic Pandora shudder to a halt. We've stopped moving. Are we at Tears Point? Hyne I hope not. We cleaned up after the last one and it wasn't much fun. Days and days of nothing but fighting monsters, setting traps and dropping buoys to attract them.

It's Rowan's turn to attack. I have to admit, the kid is pretty good. He may be something of a chunk, but he probably won't be for long. Training and the onset of puberty will take care of the baby fat in no time. He strikes Rinoa with a downward slash then brings the blade up in a crosswise manner, his signature move, borrowed from Squall. Hyne's Cross.

The screech that comes from Rinoa's throat tears at my heart. I can't keep this up much longer.

Rinoa's getting weak. I can see it in her posture. Her hands tremble against her belly and if I'm not mistaken, she's crying. Her face has drained of all color and she looks about ready to collapse. I look to Zell for direction and he seems to be contemplating something. Of all people to be giving the orders. I sure hope he knows what he's doing because Squall will kill him if Rinoa dies. Hell, Squall will probably kill all of us if she dies.

When Seifer said, "I'll help you," I was astounded. I don't understand what made him change his mind, but he seems committed to giving us a hand. In his eyes is an uncharacteristic humility. Not cock-sure, not proud, but humble. It seems to be tearing him apart inside to attack Rinoa, but he's committed himself and he's not backing down.

Seifer has a conscience after all. Imagine that . . . .

Meanwhile, my Selphie is being manhandled by that insane bitch, Adel. Enough of this, I'm going to get her. There are five willing to attack and one acting as medic. Those are pretty good odds, even when up against a sorceress. I'm not about to let anything happen to Selphie. I don't know what Adel's plans for her are and I'd rather die than let Adel hurt her.

Adel does not see me approach nor does she realize I've placed the shotgun against the back of her head because she's too preoccupied with Selphie. "Let go of her or I'll put a bullet into your brain," This is no threat. This is a guarantee. "Do you know what a shell to the head at this range would do to you? Sorceress or not, there won't be anything left above your neck."

Fear! I see fear in her eyes. Screw it. I'll pull the trigger and save us the trouble later. I cock the gun and rest my finger on the trigger. I squeeze . . . .

Before I can get a shot off, Zell screams, "Damn it Irvine, not yet!"

I'd momentarily forgotten that we had to take care of Rinoa first. My concern for Selphie had taken over and gripped me like a vise, compelled me to attack Adel before it was time.

"Adel, you move you die. You cast a spell on me, you die. You hurt Selphie, you die. Understand?"

All she can do is glare at me. She knows I've got her. Hyne, why didn't we try this before? All that work to kill her before, it could have been so easily taken care of and none of this would have happened.

While the others attack Rinoa and I guard Adel, Squall is busy trying without success to revive Jilly. Seifer casts aura on everyone again and readies himself to attack. He has surprised me in many ways today, this being just the next in a series of un-Seifer-like behavior. As much as I hate to say it, I think he really does love Rinoa in his own way. Why else would he suddenly switch sides?

And I think poor Jilly is a lost cause. Squall should probably give up on her and concentrate on healing our party, but I think he's doing it for Zell, who between attacks, glances at Jilly's crumpled body with such a heart breaking longing and despair in his eyes, I know he's going to lose it once this is over.

Rinoa is crying harder now, and she's not fighting back as much as she was before, and not with the intensity she had at the beginning. She lifts her hand and casts a weak Thunder spell on Seifer, then drops her hand as if the weight of it is too much to hold aloft for long.

I dare a closer look, not wanting to be distracted but for a second, and what I see in Rinoa's face is surprising. Some of the softness is back, and her eyes look more like the Rinoa I remember. But she's deathly pale now and the tears make shiny rivers down her cheeks. Her lips are moving, but I can't hear what she's trying to say. Worse than before, her hands tremble and she is almost doubled over, clutching her belly. With much effort, she patterns her hand in the air and casts cure not on herself, but on her stomach.

Oh great Hyne. If that means what I think it means . . .

"Don't attack her anymore," I scream at them, and my eyes fill with tears for my friend. "You'll kill her if you do anymore!"

"We have to, Irvine," Zell says in a voice choked with emotion. There are tears in his eyes too. He must have seen, so how can he keep attacking?

What about Squall? Did he see it too, or was he still attempting to bring Jilly back to life? Did Seifer or Quistis see? I glance at them, and they don't seem to have noticed this odd bit of behavior, an action which can only mean one thing. Rinoa's pregnant. If Squall knew, he didn't tell me, but then, he probably wouldn't.

This must be the worst thing we've ever had to do. Rinoa is our friend, and we're killing her, and her child. I have to do something to stop them because I can't watch any more of this. I can't go to my grave with this on my conscience.

"Zell, look at her!" I demand. "You have to stop."

Rinoa is now more pale than a ghost, and her lips continue to form soundless words. Without warning, she convulses violently and drops to the ground, and a long keening cry comes from her throat. It's eerie, like the sound of a wounded animal with it's leg in a trap, an animal that is certain of it's own death and uses the last of it's energy to announce it's passing.

Please don't let her be dead.

I let the others go to her. I have to finish this.

"Let Selphie go Adel."

"If I do, you'll kill me."

"I'll kill you anyway, so you might as well make this fast."

She's not going to give my Selphie up. She may be afraid, but she's not stupid.

Suddenly, Selphie, no longer despondent, leans her head into Adel's shoulder as if being affectionate. It seems strange to me that she'd want to cuddle with this horrible beast of a woman and I'm taken aback by her behavior. "Selph . . ." I manage, uncertain about what to do now.

Then Selphie does something even more surprising. She clamps down on Adel's shoulder with her teeth and bites. Adel screeches and gives Selphie a rough shove, sending my girl away from her. "You ungrateful little brat!" she cries, then realizes what she's done. A fatal mistake.

"Get down Selph," I say. Selphie's already scrambling away, her ears covered and her eyes closed tight against what she knows is about to happen.

I squeeze the trigger.

The blast is deafening.

Just to be safe, I reload and fire again, though there's not much to fire at anymore. Adel's head is no longer recognizable as a human body part, but I don't want to take any chances this time around.

I turn away from the bloody, mutilated corpse after a moment of contemplation. I half expect Adel to get up and give us one last scare just like in the horror movies, but she remains slumped over on the floor, twitching occasionally as her body slowly realizes that it's dying.

I go to my Selphie, who's now laying on her side with her eyes shut. She's fainted.

Gingerly, I pick her up and kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, glad to have her close to me again. "You're safe now, baby. You're safe."

Hyne, I love her so much.

Tomorrow, I'm going to quit SeeD.









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Notes
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Some of you commented that I shouldn't think of the last chapter as weak....I think I worded something incorrectly in my notes. I meant that it WAS weak before I added the little bonus bits and pieces. What I'd meant to say was that the original chapter was terrible, but I'm kind of proud of how it turned out after I tweaked it here and there.

This is another chapter that was very poorly written the first time around.....it was kind of an anti-climax, or even a cop-out because I was too lazy at the time to put the effort into writing a good action sequence. I've added several new POV's and tried my best to make it interesting. I'm still not happy with it, but first person-present is a difficult perspective to write. The entire first half of this chapter is new content.

Also, please note that this is not the last chapter. There's at least two more and an epilogue to come. All those loose ends must be tied up, of course, leading us into the Sequel.....