Chapter Nine: Wicked Witch of the North Tower Written by The Loards
"Oh my God! You guys were SO drooling over that teacher's assistant yesterday!" Hermione actually seemed to be jealous...
"You can't talk, I seem to recall a certain Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the 2nd year... Harry, help me out here... Something about hearts around the schedule..."
"Yeah... I seem to remember stealing some signed pictures on one of my detentions that someone wanted so very much..." Ron had the grace to look surprised.
"You didn't tell me about that one, but now.... You might remember Hermione..."
"Oh! So that's who one of the pictures of people under your pillow is!" Azelia exclaimed, and then blushed as she realized that this put her new friend in a rather difficult position.
"No, the signed photo of Gildoroy Lockhart is NOT the guy under my pillow. His picture in taped in my diary under the list of 'Complete Fakes.'"
"Oh, that's right! Along with Professor Trelwany." Azelia added, and then cringed when Hermione gaped at her.
Ron however, came to Azelia's rescue. "So Herm, if the picture isn't Lockhart's, who is it? Hmm?"
Hermione blushes furiously. "Oh. Um... Neville!"
Hearing his name, Neville, three seats away, turns to look at the now flushing Hermione.
"Yes?"
"Neville! Don't eat that!" Said Hermione, thinking quickly. "That's one of the new WWW crackers." Neville dropped the cracker, and backed away slowly, then turned and ran.
Azelia, however, was still not off the hook. "So, Azelia, how did you see that picture of H- uh him anyway?"
"Oh, um, well, it fell off your bed lat night," she continues, much quieter. "Along with your diary, that uh, broke when it hit the floor..."
"Really?" Ron contrived to look astonished. "I thought that lock was pretty sturdy. Harry and I spent an entire afternoon trying to pick it," but seeing Hermione's glare, he gave up the attempt at joking. "Just kidding Herm, don't kill me! I'm serious... we didn't really...."
Just then, Becca arrived, saving Harry, Ron, and Azelia from fate worse than death, and she took Neville's empty seat. "Hey guys, what are we talking about?"
Hermione quickly answered. "Oh, just about how delicious breakfast is..."
"I totally agree." She glanced down at Neville's left over plate. "OO! Someone left me a cracker!" Becca picked up the cracker Neville had fled from earlier, and ate it.
POOF!
Now two Zoé's were sitting at the table.
"What?!"
"Ooooo. It really was a Weasley Wizarding Wheezes cracker!"
"What's a 'Weasley Wizarding Wheezes' and why do they manufacture crackers that turn you into other people?" Azelia asked, completely confused.
"Oh, they're my twin brother's joke-shop idea. They make all kinds of food and candy that have strange magical effects on those who eat them. Never accept anything from either of them, or you might turn into frog or something. Canary Crème was the big one last year."
"But what is this one supposed to do?" Hermione asked. "Just turn you into another random person?"
"Apparently, because of the unforeseen consequences arising from the mastication of this cracker within my mouth, I have transformed into my complete compliment."
"Did I really just hear those words with more than four letters come out of Becca's mouth? Wow. And I didn't even hear the word 'like' once!" Brody looked astonished.
"Well, she did say she had turned into her opposite."
Ron gaped at Zoé, "You mean you understood most of that.?!"
Zoé gave him a withering glance Ooo! I just love that phrase! Sorry, had to add it! "Of course I understood it. I am her complete opposite. I think I'll decide to take that as a compliment."
"I wonder when she'll change back," Harry said.
"In precisely 1.03286734 microseconds. POOF! Like, dude! What did those words mean?!"
A few seats away George and Fred were conferring quietly about the effects of their produce.
"We just HAVE to figure out how to make the complement crackers last longer. For a moment, there was one for each of us!!"
Fred stared at his twin, who just happened to be staring at the one remaining Zoé.
Back at the Gryffindor table the students were leaving for their first class of the day.
"Harry, we better get going. We have to get all the way up to Trelwany's tower before class starts."
Azelia, packing books into her bag, looked up. "She is the divination teacher, no?"
"Supposedly." Harry grinned. "Old fake that she is."
"Well I have that class next." and Azelia turned to Ron, and smiled. "You can show me the way!"
"Great!" Ron was just a bit 'enthusiastic...'
Harry and Hermione laugh, as Zoé, Brody, and Becca get up to go to their classes.
"Ok guys, see you later." Brody waves.
"Yeah, thanks for letting us Ravenclaws (not that we can really count Becca as one of us)..." and she grinned "...eat at your table."
"No problem. I better be getting to arithmancy." Hermione added.
"Oh. You don't take divination?" Azelia asked, not used to seeing the trio split up.
"No, thank Merlin. That's the only class I ever disliked more than potions."
"Yes. That was the scariest day of my life," and Ron's eyes went out of focus, as if picturing the scene in his mind. "Watching Hermione, of all people walk out of a class. That was right after she slapped Malfoy right across the face..."
"Really? You'll have to tell me about it on the way." And Azelia grabbed Ron's arm, and headed for the doors.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and laughed again.
"They would make a cute couple..."
"Even if Ron has no clue what he's doing..."
"Harry?" Hermione's face was worried. "Aren't you even a bit jealous?"
"HERMIIIIIONE!" Harry drew out the 'i' in her name. "She's my SISTER!"
"EW! I didn't mean it like THAT! What I meant was... well... she IS you sister. Shouldn't you two be... I don't know... What do long lost siblings do?"
"Herm, I knew her for one day of my life, and that was when I was one year old! She's as much of a stranger to me as she is to you. And I'm not about to get protective if that's what you mean. Its RON we're talking about. Who could I trust more? Besides you, Hermione." And Harry turned to look at her.
Uh. Oh. Its romance! I can't believe I wrote this!!
God, she loved everything about him: his smile, the way he said her name... "I—"
"You look really nice today, Hermione. Did you, um, do something with your hair over the summer?"
"Oh, um, no not really. Its just—"
"Harry! Hermione! Come on!"
At the doors to the great hall, Azelia smacked Ron lightly. "Ron! You ruined their tender moment!"
Fred, passing by, said "Good job, little bro! Wreak destruction and havoc wherever you go." before he was pulled away by George.
"Come on, Fred! We can't loose sight of her!" Fred just groaned.
"Ron. Take my advice: Never, EVER, fall for a girl."
Too late. He thought, glancing sideways at Azelia.
"Sure, whatever Fred. But you better go take care of your love-struck twin before he does something REALLY stupid."
Just then, Harry and Hermione caught up to them. They talked for a moment, and then split up as Harry, Ron, and Azelia headed for the North side of the castle.
When they got there, most of the rest of the class was already waiting at the bottom of the closed trap door.
Azelia already looked confused, "This can't be just it. Where's the class room?"
Harry pointed straight up, just as the ladder descended gracefully in cloud of noxious pink smoke. A soft and "mystical" voice could be heard from above.
"I wish to see the red-haired one... The one with the destiny." The class, a bit confused by hearing prophecies about someone besides Harry, all turned towards Ron.
"What the hell?!" But as Ron's foot touched the first step, the voice came again, sharper this time.
"Not you! The girl!"
Ron, looking embarrassed, but relieved, turned as red as his hair. "Oh."
Everyone was looking around wildly. Neville looked up at the trap door and spoke what they all were thinking, "But none of the girls have red hair..."
Just then Azelia emerged from behind Harry. "She's talking about me... Lighten up everybody. I've heard about this teacher, she's just putting on a show for the new student." And Azelia climbed up into the trap door, lost in a cloud of pink mist.
Everyone below strained his or her ears for any sound from above. A low throaty voice, most unlike Trelwany's usual, made everyone jump. Only Harry recognized the deep voice that signaled a true prediction.
"You. You are the daughter! You are the one who will—" gasp thump
Azelia's voice wavered only slightly as she spoke through the trap door. "She's fainted, somebody send for the nurse and Headmaster." Lavender and Parvarti gasped and ran off together.
The rest of the class all tried to run up the ladder at once.
"Is she alive?"
"Is she dead?"
"What was she saying?"
"Some made up crap. She'd probably be predicting your death by now."
"I wouldn't be surprised if she was alright, and this is just a trick to make it seem more dramatic."
Harry wasn't willing to contradict them; the rumors they made up might be enough to cover up the hints Trelwany had already spoken.
"Why is she clutching her arm?"
"Here comes Dumbledor!"
A path was instantly cleared for Madame Pomfrey and the Headmaster.
After a quick inspection, and a spell, Mme. Pomfrey announced, "She's had a heart attack, and a bit of a shock. I've got her stable Headmaster, but we'll have to get her to a specialist. I don't do much with shock, it is very difficult to cure with magic, and I don't want to bungle it up."
"Who were the first ones here?" Dumbledor asked, looking around at the students.
"I was in here when it happened." Azelia said, "and Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley were the first up after I called for help."
"Well then, I would like to see the three of you in my office." Dumbledor then descended the ladder with dignity and the figurative swirl of robes.
Below, crowds of older students were gathering for their class. At the sight of Dumbledor, they all stared.
"Headmaster! What--?" Several students stuttered.
"Professor Trelwany is currently indisposed, and all of her classes for today have been canceled. Don't get too ah—disappointed..." and here, several of the students giggled. "We will have a substitute teacher in by tomorrow." Groans were heard throughout the crowd, and one whispered command: "Becca, stop hanging onto me! Get AWAY FROM ME!". Then everyone was silent, until the Headmaster was out of sight down the stairs.
Brody and Zoé grinned at each other, and linking their arms they began to skip around in circles... singing... at the top of their lungs.
"Ding dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!!!"
Monica, a 6th year Slytherin, looked at the two and then back to her friend Nikki. "What the hell is wrong with them?"
Another student, the Blonde Becca, answered her. "It's from a muggle film. Something about wicked and good witches with crazy names. I don't remember much of it, only that when you dump a bucket of water on a wicked witch they melt."
Jason, another Slytherin, and the one who had been doing the whispering, looked interested. "Really?"
"Yeah, funny how stupid mud- I mean muggle borns can--" but she was cut off as a torrent of water came crashing over her ears. And Jason just happened to be standing over her, with the conjured bucket raised above his head.
Becca just stood there, outraged. "OOOO!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!!!"
To this day, no one knows what kind of spell she was trying to cast, probably she was just making it up as she went. Becca pointed her wand at Jason, and started to speak, just as someone bumped into her.
Out came a cloud of malformed purple butterflies that enveloped the closest students, namely Zoé, Brody, and George Weasley, and of course Becca and Jason. The butterflies ate through any cloth, and left purple bumps whenever they bit into skin.
The butterflies had managed to eat through most of the five's clothing, and had left quite a few itching bites, by the time Zoé managed to dispel them. All five were only left with underwear and bras/boxers and on.
Jason, Brody, Zoé and George all looked at each other in shock, and then at themselves, before running after Becca, who was already halfway down the stairs, anticipating their rage.
The five ran all over the school, down every hallway, and up every staircase, through empty classrooms and hidden passageways.
Brody, after running "head-long" into Oliver Wood, deserted the group. Zoé had a glimpse of flying boots and muffled yelps before she went flying past.
A few minuets lager, George "accidentally" tripped Zoé, and they too landed in a heap.
Jason, beginning to tire, decided to end the chase. He took a flying leap and tackled Becca, landing at the foot of the stairs to the North tower. They had come full circle.
The two began wrestling over Jason's wand (Becca had lost hers somewhere along the way.)
Just then, the remaining portion of the canceled classes reached the bottom of the stairs.
Monica looked at the two forms, one atop the other, both barely clothed, and asked... "Don't you have bedrooms?"
End of Chapter Nine: Wicked Witch of the North Tower
