I lied to Selphie when I told her that it wouldn't happen again. I don't really know that to be true. Some day in the future, it might. But she was upset, and I didn't want to scare her any more than she already was. I wanted to ease her mind. And it might not happen again anyhow, unless someone from the future finds a way to do it all over again. There's no telling how many attempts Ultimecia made to achieve her time compression, or how she got the information to do so, considering Laguna destroyed Odine's Junction Machine Ellone shortly after the war was over. Unless of course, Odine builds a new one. I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that.
What worries me most is that when Adel died, she left a piece of herself with me. She also left her memories behind, and now they are mine too. It's terrifying to know that she was once an idealistic, impulsive girl of nineteen, that she'd loved and cared about people. She wasn't a bad person, really, not in the beginning. I don't know if it was her circumstances that changed her or if her powers caused her to change. I hope it was her circumstances and not her power. I don't want to think that some day in the future, I might be forever changed by the power inside of me. I don't want to envision spunky little Selphie changing into something unrecognizable and ugly like Adel.
I do owe Adel something, even after all the terrible things she made me do. I owe her my sister. Had this not happened, I would never have known that Selphie and I shared the same father. I think it upsets Selphie a little to know that Adel was her mother, but I know that she's glad that I'm her sister. We have each other to lean on now, and that's a good thing. A sibling is something I never had, something Selphie has never had before, and it's nice to know that someone like Selphie is around to depend on when I need her.
Presently, I'm sitting in my office going over proposals from Dollet regarding their lands. It's been two weeks since we returned to Esthar, and things are finally calming down. It's been business as usual since Jilly Strife's funeral three days ago. I feel really bad for Zell, and I'm lucky he doesn't blame me. He's been really down since the services, and I plan to visit with him later, just to cheer him up a little. The day of the funeral, he got crocked on Sylkis and hasn't been right since.
Squall won't leave me alone lately. I don't know why I want to avoid him, but I do. It's not that I don't love him anymore. I just don't know if we were ever meant to be together. I'm afraid to go back because I don't want to be hurt again or ignored in all the time. He resigned his command, but that doesn't mean things will change. I can't explain it because I don't really understand my reasons. Maybe it's because of Adel and her heartbreaks. After all, my father abandoned her, and she returned the favor by attacking Galbadia. I don't want to be the next to do something like that. Or maybe it's because of Seifer. I don't want to have to tell Squall that story. I don't want to see his reaction.
"Hey there," Irvine says as he leans against the door frame. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," I reply and place my pen on top of my notes. "What's up?"
He closes the door behind him, which seems weird. Has he come to urge me back to Squall? He sits down and tips his hat back on his head. "I just came by to tell you that Selphie and I are getting married."
"That's great!" I exclaim, and I mean it. "When?"
"A couple of months," he replies. "Selphie's gone on a rescue
mission, and she wanted me to ask you if you'd be her Maid of Honor."
"I'd like that, Irvine," I say. "I'm so happy for you guys!"
"Thanks, Rinoa. That means a lot."
"What about Selphie? Will she still be a SeeD?"
"No. Squall's making her head of Student Affairs. She's really happy about it."
"No doubt she'll love it. She can plan festivals to her hearts desire."
"Count on it," he says and takes off his hat. "Um, there was something else I wanted to ask you."
Uh, oh. Here it comes. He's going to lay into me about Squall. I guess I should have expected it.
"Have you told Squall about Arden?"
Shock.
How did he know? I haven't told anyone.
"I, uh, I saw you heal him," he says, "and Selphie filled in the blanks."
"But how did she know?"
He laughs. "She's a sorceress. She knows things."
"Oh," is all I can say.
"Does he know?"
"No."
"Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know." I'd been debating this since we returned. There was no question of me keeping him. That was a given. He was my child, and I loved him, and there was no way I was going to part with him. "But don't you dare go and tell him, either."
"I won't, Rinoa, but he has a right to know."
I sigh. "Irvine, did it ever occur to you that Arden may not be Squall's? Adel did a lot of things I'd never do, so there's no telling what she did with me while I was under her control." It's partially a lie, but I don't feel up to explaining things to Irvine either. The less he knows the better.
He scratches his head and looks uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to assume."
"Who else knows?" I ask.
"Well, I thought that Zell knew, but he hasn't said a word about it to me, so it's just Selphie and I."
"Can I trust you to keep it a secret?"
"Yeah," he says, "but I don't like the idea."
"Just for now, all right?" I plead.
"All right, you win," he says.
"Thanks," I reply, relieved. This is something I don't really want to talk to Squall about. I would have to explain.
It's then that I begin to think seriously about leaving Garden. I love it here, but eventually everyone would know that I was carrying a child. I don't know if I could answer all the questions, or if I'd be able to face Squall and tell him the truth about what happened between Seifer and I.
After Irvine leaves I return to my paper work. It's hard to focus, and I'm feeling a little nauseous. I'm not supposed to have coffee now, but I dared one cup earlier and it's really bothering my stomach.
"Rinoa, you have a call on line one," Anaya calls through the open door.
"Thank you!" I call back and pick up the receiver. "Rinoa Heartilly speaking."
"Rinoa, it's Seifer."
Who would have thought bad-ass, no holds barred, balls-to-the-wall Seifer Almasy could fall in love. It sounds like a joke, doesn't it? It sounds like I've gone soft.
Truth is, I have.
Cid set me up in an apartment in Balamb after we returned. It's not a bad place. Smaller than my house in Dollet, but it's cozy in a way. Cid wouldn't let me join SeeD, and that's all right. I got a job on the docks hauling fish. It's not the best job I've ever had, but it pays the rent and it keeps me busy. I don't know if I'll stay in Balamb, though. I'd like to travel some, see the world.
Today's my day off. I could be spending it doing something worthwhile, but all I've done since I woke up this morning is stare at the phone, trying to build up courage enough to call Rinoa. I need someone to talk to, and she's the only one who might possibly understand me at this point. Add to this the fact that my feelings for her have only grown since we returned, and it makes it difficult to actually pick up the phone and make the call.
I take a deep breath and dial her office number, the one she gave me a few weeks ago, and wait impatiently as it rings. When the secretary picks up, I almost put the phone back in its cradle. "Rinoa Heartilly's office, this is Anaya, how may I help you?" says the bored sounding voice on the other end.
"Uh . . . may I speak to Rinoa please?"
"Your name?"
"Just tell her it's a friend," I say. I get the feeling if I told this receptionist who I really am, she'd hang up on me in an instant.
"Hold please," she says and I'm treated to a instrumental version of Eyes on Me.
"Rinoa Heartilly speaking."
"Rinoa, it's Seifer."
"Is everything all right?" she asks sounding concerned.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just . . . wanted to call and say hello. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she says and hesitates. "Seifer, why are you really calling?"
"Feeling lonely, I guess."
"Strange to be back, isn't it?"
"Yeah," I say, unsure of what else to say or why I'd even called. "How is everyone else?"
"They're fine . . ." she says. "They won't leave me alone, though. They think they need to keep checking up on me, like I'm going to freak out on them again. It's driving me nuts."
I pause and work up the guts to ask her out. "Hey, Rinoa, you wanna join me for a drink later? After you're off work?"
"Uh, yeah. I'd like that," she says. "I don't drink anymore, but I'd be happy to keep you company."
I'm surprised she's agreed and I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face. "I'll meet you at eight, then?"
"Eight is good."
"Good."
"Seifer?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"What for?"
"For being a friend."
Rinoa considering me a friend after all the shitty things I've done
is the greatest gift anyone's ever given me.
"That won't happen, Seffie," I tell her and I take the veil from it's box. Like the dress, it is white at the crown, but ends up yellow at the end of its train. "You've just got the jitters."
"Seriously, Rinoa, I'm scared. What if this is a mistake?" she cries and begins to wring her hands.
I sigh and pour her a glass of white wine. She's already had three glasses, and probably shouldn't indulge in a fourth, but she's less hysterical now than she was an hour ago. "Here, have another glass," I tell her, "and don't you dare spill it on your dress."
It's funny. With Selphie, I remind myself of Quistis. I feel like I'm her big sister, though we're only a few months apart. We've grown so close and we've tried so hard to make up for lost time. It's too bad we weren't able to grow up together, it probably would have been fun. I imagine she would have run away with me to Timber and formed the Forest Owls with me, although we probably would have been more like a pair of teen aged terrorists than a mere resistance faction. Hyne only knows where we would have ended up if that had been the case.
Because of our powers, we have a bond that runs even deeper than the bonds we've forged as sisters. There are times when I feel her presence in my mind, and I know she's checking up on me. It used to bother me, but I'm used to it now, and I discovered a way to block her out when I want to be left alone. I can do the same with her, though I don't use it much. I know Selphie's going to be all right so I don't need to look after her like she feels the need to look after me.
"You know, this would be easier for me if you'd have said yes when Squall proposed," she tells me and tries with trembling hands to apply lipstick. "Wouldn't that have been so nice? A double ring ceremony?"
"Let me have that," I say and take the lipstick from her. Carefully, I paint her lips a soft pink. "And I'm not going to marry Squall just because you want me to."
"You still love him, don't you?" she asks when I'm finished.
"Yes, but not the way I used to. I just need some time before I jump off that cliff, ok?"
"You're not making me feel any better, you know!" she cries.
I couldn't help but laugh. She's an absolute wreck. Not only was she tipsy from the wine, but also so nervous she might pass out right there at the altar. "I'm sorry," I giggle. "Trust me. You'll be fine. It's just Irvine."
"Just Irvine?! Rinoa, I'm going to be stuck with him till death do us part!" she cries.
"That's right. Just relax and remember why you're marrying him."
"Why am I marrying him again?" she says, near tears.
"Oh, Selphie, don't cry! You'll smear your mascara."
"Rinoa!"
"Calm down," I say. "I'm just teasing."
"Not funny," she pouts.
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, did you ever tell Squall about the baby?" she asks softly.
"No, and I don't plan to."
"So you're really leaving then?"
"It's just for a little while, Selphie. I'll be back after he's born."
"But what if it's Squall's?" she wonders aloud. "He'd want to know."
"What if it's not?"
That silences her and she takes a long gulp of her wine. That finishes off her glass, but I don't pour her another one. I want her to relax, not make a fool of herself.
There's a knock at the door. "Unless you're Irvine Kinneas, you may come in!" I call out.
Quistis enters, looking gorgeous in her bridesmaid gown of dark violet satin. Selphie had originally picked out these hideous dresses made of yellow organdy, but we protested until she let us have her way. We settled on matching spaghetti strap gowns that fell to the ankle and were slit up to the thigh on both sides. They were simple, but classy dresses. The battle was hard won, and the result was much nicer and much more flattering that vivid yellow frills and lace. "Are you almost ready Selphie?" she asked.
"No," she cries. "Give me a couple hours and I might be drunk enough to go out there."
I roll my eyes and arrange the veil upon her head. "You'll be fine. You're going to go out there and you're going to marry the man you love, have lots of babies and live happily ever after."
"Is that an order?"
"Yes, because if you don't go out there, I'll pick you up and carry you down the aisle myself," I threaten.
Quistis peeks into the mirror and fiddles with her hair, as if she imagines every strand is out of place. "You will never guess who had the nerve to show up here."
"I already know the answer, Quisty, and he's with me." I reply.
I'd invited Seifer as my date, despite everyone's opinion of him. I've gotten to know him pretty well in the last couple of months. He's the only one who really understands the things I went through, and he's the only one who doesn't smother me with misguided concern. In that time, I've gotten to know the real Seifer Almasy, and there are many things to like about him, despite the things he's done.
"He's with you? But why?"
"I don't really want to explain right now. We have a wedding to finish," I tell her.
Quistis clears her throat and looks guilty. "I hope you're not angry with me for coming with Squall."
I smile at her and shake my head. "I'm not. I hope you two have a great time tonight," I say, hoping to reassure her that she's not doing anything wrong.
The old Rinoa would have been hurt by both situations. Selphie getting married first, or at least without me, and Quistis showing up at the wedding with Squall. But I'm not hurt or angry about either. I wish them all the happiness the deserve, and then some. I want my friends to live happy lives, filled with love and laughter, and I want that for myself too. But I've come to realize that my happiness does not depend on anyone but me. I've got to do what makes me happy, and for now, I am doing exactly that. Selphie doesn't understand why I'm leaving, and I haven't told anyone else that I am as of yet. But that's what I want to do. I have to find myself again before I can think about loving anyone again, whether it's Squall or someone else.
I don't mean to hurt anyone, certainly not Squall or my friends. But what must be done, I must do. And it's only for a while. Just a little while.
Someone outside raps on the door and calls out, "Ladies, it's show time!"
Selphie whimpers and I have to drag her out the door. "Let's go, Selph," I say gently.
"Wait," she cries and smoothes her dress. "How do I look."
"Gorgeous," I tell her.
"Ok." she says and squares her shoulders. "Let's get this over
with. I want some cake."
I spent my morning with Zell and Squall. We went fishing down on the docks and played a little pool at the pub after an afternoon thunderstorm rolled in. Zell's been really depressed about Jilly, and I was trying to cheer him up, but it wasn't working. He spent most of the day drinking whiskey, which really bothers me. It's like he's trying to chase away the pain by drinking himself into oblivion. I know he's going through a rough time right now, but I know that he's not doing himself any favors by sucking down liqueur like that. He's got to deal with it some time, and I think he's trying to put off his grief by drowning himself in drink.
I wanted to talk to Squall privately, but didn't get the chance until just before the ceremony. We wait in the dressing room for this thing to start, bored and getting impatient. I hope that Selphie isn't getting cold feet on me. We've already been dressed for an hour, and we were supposed to be well on our way into the after party by now. We're now trying to pass the time by playing cards.
"I'm really happy for you guys," Squall says and he draws a card from the stack.
"Thanks, man," I tell him. "Um, have you talked to Rinoa at all since we got back from Esthar?"
He shrugs. "I tried, but she's avoiding me."
So that means he doesn't know about the baby. I am disappointed that she'd keep it a secret. Hell, it wouldn't be a secret for much longer. Soon, everyone will be able to tell. I want to tell him, but I'd promised that I'd keep it quiet until she was ready to talk to him. It seems unfair, but I guess I understand her reasons.
Still . . .
"I wish things were the way they used to be," he said with a sigh.
"I'm sorry things didn't work out for you two," I say. "Maybe she just needs a little time. She really went through a lot, and she might just need to work through some things first."
"That's what I keep telling myself."
"Rummy," I say. "So what about you and Quistis?"
"What about us? We're just friends."
"Well, have you ever thought about, you know," I shrug, "broadening your horizons, so to speak?"
"I've never thought about it."
"Maybe it's time you did." I reply. "I'm not saying that you should go out and bone every girl you see, and I'm not saying you should with Quistis, but you never know. You and Rinoa aren't together, and you have every right to see other people. Including Quistis."
"That's what Rinoa said."
"But, I think you should talk to her some time tonight. Make sure that's what she wants," I say. "But play it cool. Agree with whatever she says. There's an old saying, 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours to keep. If not, it was never meant to be.'"
"You're saying I should just give her up?"
"Yeah. For now. She may just have a change of heart." I say.
"You're not helping," he says.
"Just a little friendly advice. We all hate seeing you so miserable."
He smiles a little at this. "Who said I'm miserable? Unhappy, yes," he says, "But I know better than to mope around about things I can't change."
"Good, because you make me wanna smack you when you pout," I tease.
He laughs and folds his hands behind his head. "What's taking them so long?"
"I don't know. Hope Selphie didn't run off on me."
"Nah, she wouldn't do that," he says. "I'll go check it out."
He leaves me alone in the room and I can do nothing but pace. Are we doing the right thing by getting married? We're only nineteen. What if our feelings for each other change in a year or so? Or ten? Is our love strong enough to last? Is this a big mistake? What if Selphie was thinking these same thoughts and got scared, like I am now? What if she changed her mind?
Hyne, I love her. Do what you can to see that we make this last a lifetime.
I place my hat atop my head and tug my pony tail so that it isn't caught up beneath. No matter what, I love Selphie, and I'll do what I can to make it work, through the good and bad. So long as we both shall live.
Squall returns and grins. "She's ready."
We take our places at the front and I glance around at everyone who has come to see us wed.
The ballroom is packed. Everyone important to us is there, not to mention nearly the whole of SeeD. Laguna, Kiros, Ward. Ellone. Cid and Edea. Seifer.
Seifer? What the hell?! What does he think he's doing here? "Squall?" I whisper, pointing.
"Don't worry about it, man," he tells me. "He's not dumb enough to pull anything in a room full of SeeDs."
I hope he's right.
When Selphie walks down the aisle on Cid's arm, my heart pounds with pride. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Though, I admit this whole thing has got me nervous as hell. It's hard to believe we're actually going through with this, getting married, making plans for our future. Maybe I expected something to go wrong, some delay that might set the date back or change or feelings towards one another. Not that I wanted anything to happen, I just expected that it was too good to be true.
But it's happening. I'm too enchanted by her loveliness to even hear the words the pastor speaks. He has to prompt me to say my vows. In my nervousness, I drop the ring and it rolls away from me. I fumble for it, retrieve it, but then I try to put it on the wrong hand.
She giggles.
"With this ring, I thee wed. I promise to love and care for you, to honor and respect you, through the best and the worst of times, for all the days of my life." My voice trembles when I say this, and despite myself, I feel my eyes tear up.
I barely hear what Selphie says. All I can do is stare into her beautiful green eyes as she slips the ring upon my finger. Her eyes meet mine and she throws herself at me before the pastor even has a chance to say, 'you may now kiss the bride'. I'm nervous no more, only happy that she's my wife.
Everyone is on their feet, clapping. The chairs are cleared away quickly, and large buffet tables rolled in. "Can we start the honey moon now?" I whisper.
She giggles. "Not till I have some cake."
"Would you settle for cake in bed?"
"Horn dog," she teases.
"For you, always." I say. All I want to do right now is take her to my room and make it official. The hell with everything else.
"Be patient, Irvie," she chides. "There's plenty of time left. For now, it's time to paaarty!"
The reception dinner seems to pass in a blur. I don't even hear Squall's toast and I don't pay attention to who caught the bouquet. I'm too busy looking at my Selphie.
Selphie's had her cake and our first dance as a married couple has just finished. She wants to socialize a little before we leave, so I do a little of my own.
"Congratulations, man," Zell says and shakes my hand. He reeks of whiskey. I make a mental note to talk to him once I'm back from the honeymoon.
"Thanks," I say. "Have you seen Squall?"
Zell points to the dance floor, where Squall waltzes with Quistis. "Can you believe it?" he asks.
"Not so hard to believe," I reply.
"Sure is weird seeing the two of them together."
It doesn't seem weird at all to me. What I see is two people enjoying themselves. As they dance, they talk, and Squall even laughs a little at something Quistis has said. And Quistis, she's always loved Squall, and it's never been a sisterly love, as she's claimed in the past. I know that for sure. I see this as an opportunity for the both of them, and maybe something will come out of it that's far greater than what Squall and Rinoa had.
Or maybe not. Maybe they're meant for one another, as we've always
thought. We'll all just have to wait and find out I guess.
"Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" I whisper in Rinoa's ear as we dance. I never imagined that Rinoa would allow this to happen, that she'd accept me as completely as she has. Her presence in my life has given me a damned good reason to change. News that she's expecting and that it might be mine has given me a new outlook on life. Once upon a time, I thought it was a crime to bring a child into the world, as screwed up as this world is, but now I'm not so sure. The thought of myself as a father puts a whole new spin on things.
There's still a chance that Squall's the father, and I'm all right with that. I told her I'd help her raise it, regardless of who's it was. She just smiled at me and got that distant look in her eyes, like she was somewhere else. But I meant it, and I hope she knows that.
"So, you're really leaving?" I ask when she doesn't respond to my comment.
"Yes."
"I meant it when I said I'd go with you," I tell her. I don't want her to leave. If she goes, I'll be pretty much on my own here. I've made some reluctant friends at my job, but they don't understand me like she does.
"I know you meant it," she says and gives me a small smile. The song has ended and she pulls away. She looks up at me with a pair of the saddest brown eyes I've ever seen. "I've got to go talk to Squall."
"Wait," I say and pull her close again. "There's something I need to tell you. Maybe it doesn't matter, but for what it's worth, I love you."
That smile teases the corners of her lips for an instant. "I know," she whispers and pulls away. "I'll be back in a little while."
When she walks away from me, I feel as if I've lost her forever.
It's been so long since I looked up at the sky and admired the heavens.
I think that first night home with Rinoa, as we watched for falling stars
may have been the last time I truly looked up at the sky. I don't
remember it being so beautiful. And if I know Rinoa, it won't be
long before she too ends up out here to do this very same thing.
Rinoa's been so different since we returned. She's been distant, a lot like I used to be. She doesn't smile much anymore, and I worry that she's permanently changed. It's as if part of her died with Adel. It's like Adel has taken the most essential pieces of Rinoa's spirit with her to the grave and left Rinoa with the inability to express herself any longer. I worry about her. It's lonely being someone like me, unable to speak from the heart, unable to say the things that matter.
Even so, it's not so important that she and I are not together anymore. All I truly wanted was for her to be safe and healthy, though I miss what we once had, and I need her more than I could ever begin to tell you. I would give anything to have all that back.
What I don't understand is why she came here with Seifer. I want to be angry about that, but I can't bring myself to be. Maybe it's because he makes her happy. She's spent a lot of time with him lately, and he's the only one who seems to be able to make her smile. And I saw the way he held her on the dance floor. He loves her, too. Maybe as much as I do. I can't blame him for that. Perhaps he's able to say what's on his mind. Perhaps he's already told her that he loves her, something that I was never able to do when it mattered.
If I thought she loved me at all, I'd fight for her, but I don't think she does anymore.
As I expected, she walks up to the rail beside me and looks up at the sky. She's beautiful in the moonlight with yellow and purple flowers woven through her long flowing hair. And that dress looks amazing on her.
If the situation were different, I'd take her into my arms and never let go. But reality is a painful thing. I'm reminded of all that has happened, and how this situation started in the first place.
I watch her face carefully as she stares out at the night, her face upturned to the sky. Her eyes have lost the glow they once had, as if the passionate fire I saw there once has burned itself out. There's no life in them anymore. Her face is different too. It's lost the girlishness, the innocence and has been replaced by more mature features. I guess it's to be expected. She's been through so much, and much of that, I put her through. I'm not entirely to blame, but I'm not entirely innocent either.
As I stand beside her, in almost the exact spot where we shared our first kiss, I know there's no going back.
"Say something," I finally manage.
She sends a quick glance my way, then returns her gaze to the night beyond. "What do you want me to say?" her voice is devoid of emotion.
I hang my head, trying hard not to let tears form in my eyes.
There's so much I want to say to her now, but as usual, the words won't come out. I now realize how hard it must have been for her to deal with my silence in those last months. I realize how much it must have hurt her to try so hard and be rewarded with so little. "I'm sorry." I finally say and I lean heavily against the rail. "I'm sorry for everything."
"Yeah," she replies. "Me too."
A cheer erupts from inside the ballroom. The happy couple must be on their way to begin the honeymoon. It occurs to me that this might have been our wedding night, too, if things hadn't gotten so screwed up.
I sigh and wipe hair out of my eyes, frustrated. "What can I do to make things right between us again?" I ask, though I know there's nothing I can do.
"Squall, don't," she says. She sounds a little sad. "It's over between us. The sooner you accept that, the easier it'll be for both of us."
"Rinoa, I love you!" I cry. "I know I messed up, but please, just give me a chance to make it up to you. I know we can make things work."
"Squall, please don't do this," she whispers, tears finding their way into her eyes. "It's over."
She says these words gently but they stab at my heart with as much force as if they'd been spoken callously, as if they'd been meant to hurt me.
Bitter, I say, "It's Seifer, isn't it."
"No." she replies and pushes away from the railing. "I've got to finish packing."
"You're leaving?" I ask, startled. I knew nothing of this.
"I've got to clear my head," she replies and brushes a few strands of hair from her face. "I need some time to think."
"When will you be back?"
"I don't know," she whispers. "A couple of months, maybe."
I don't want her to leave. "But where will you go?" I'm afraid that once she's gone, she won't come back.
"I can't tell you," she replies, and she won't meet my gaze.
Gently, I take her face in my hands and duck my head so that she's forced to look me in the eyes. "What's going on? What aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing," she says and pushes my hands away. "I've really got to go now, Squall."
"Promise me you'll come back," I plead.
"I'll come back," she says and gives me a quick peck on the cheek.
As she pulls away, I grab her wrists and pull her to me and wrap my arms around her in a tight embrace. "I love you, Rinoa. I always will."
I release her and she turns away. "I know." she says softly and disappears through the doors of the ball room.
And just like that, she walks out of my life. I know she was lying when she'd said she'd be gone a couple of months, but maybe she didn't want to hurt me by telling me the truth. I know that I might not see her again, and that thought is more frightening than the thought of having to face Ultimecia again.
As she disappears through the doorway, I realize that she's leaving me without saying goodbye.
