CHAPTER FIVE
James stared, mouth agape, at the two figures approaching. The man and woman shimmered with a sort of angelic glow, that he couldn't quite fully describe. He could only stare as they gracefully descended down several steps. He took one look at the man and had to hide a face of disgust. Did all men here have long blond hair? Did they all ENJOY looking gay or something? ("HEY! No dissing the Lord Celeborn! Cheese head..." Eggbert yells.) Not that he minded some of them looking like that...like Legolas...("STOP THAT YOU WEIRDO!" Eggbert shrieks.)
But the lady...she was absolutely beautiful. Her long blond hair fell down her back, and her blue eyes surveyed James intensely. He gave her his most charming smile, and flirtatious look, envisioning her—("BAD BOND!! BAD, BAD BOND!" Eggbert screams.)
"BOND! You sick perv...STOP THAT!" The Girl cried suddenly. James's head shot up. Could she get into his mind too? That would be awful! She couldn't be left to mess with his pretty head! He was too beautiful for that! ("Moron..." Eggbert mutters.)
"Would you just leave me alone?" he snapped, trying to not let her know that he knew that she could read minds. You should never let the enemy know ANYTHING about you. But then again, that would be hard, seeing as how this enemy could obviously read minds.
"No. I can't. Because if I did that you would become pervy, and start thinking everyone is gay. And...stuff...about Galadriel. WHICH IS BAD! She's MARRIED, yah know? And her husband is very, very scary when he gets mad. Trust me, I speak from experience. So you really shouldn't even THINK about going there, savvy?" ("Amen!" Eggbert cheers.)
"Can you read minds too?" James asked suspiciously, ignoring her previous comments.
"N—yeah. Of course I can." She seemed to change her mind half way through her answer. Hm.
"Since what point is she able to read minds?" Legolas asked Aragorn and Haldir.
"I don't believe she can read minds, my friend," Aragorn mused. Haldir just smirked, exchanging knowing glances with his superiors. He had a pretty good idea of what was going on.
"Please leave us, sirs, milady," Lord Celeborn said to Aragorn, Legolas, Haldir, and The Girl. All but The Girl seemed to understand this, and the other three bowed and moved toward the stairs.
"What did he say?" The Girl asked dumbly. Her companions sent her a withering look. ("She's not so bright on SOME aspects, but still..." Eggbert says helpfully.)
"He wishes for you to attempt suicide," Haldir said dryly, glancing at his two friends.
"Oh...m'kay. Does anyone have a knife I can borrow? Just for a minute?" The Girl looked to the three of them innocently before all of them disappeared down the steps. "Oh, and Bond, say it with me, 'MUST NOT THINK IMPURE THOUGHTS!'" she called up to him. He scowled at the floor, then looked up at Galadriel. Not Celeborn of course. He didn't like this man. He was the thing that kept him from whisking Galadriel off her feet and—
Celeborn coughed. Did everyone read his mind around here?
"James Bond." Galadriel regarded him with her blue eyes, somewhat coldly. Celeborn seemed to do the same.
"Yes, ma'am?" He was looking only at Galadriel. "Uh, sir?" He added as an after thought. No need to have him mad at James. ("Too late..." Eggbert mutters.)
"Do you have any theory as to why you are here?" Celeborn inquired curtly. The two beings in front of him stood waiting for his answer. Suddenly, James felt very, very small before them. They were supposedly Elves and he was nothing more than a secret agent. ("Well duh. In fact, you look small and pathetic next to ANYONE," Eggbert scoffs.)
"No," James answered truthfully.
"Perhaps there was a break in the Gate-way?" Galadriel looked at her husband, who's eyebrows were drawn up in concern.
"But how could this have occurred without our knowledge?"he murmured.
"However it occurred, the Gate-way must be closed! It cannot be left open to whom ever. We mustn't let these...people wander Middle Earth at random,"she said gravely. He nodded and sighed in frustration. They had just closed the Gate-way! And now it was open again? How could this have happened? And why did it have to be this man? Of all people? Celeborn was getting irritated with the looks the mortal was giving his wife. ("I'm here for yah buddy," Eggbert says sympathetically.)
James, meanwhile, was watching the exchange of Elvish between the two, goggling at Galadriel and sending Celeborn dark looks simultaneously. Galadriel was much more prettier than that Legolas character. MUCH. How did she end up with some guy like Celeborn? The man wasn't exactly ugly, but he wasn't very comely in James's opinion at least. No one was as pretty as James! He was the prettiest ever!
"Should we send someone to close it again?" Celeborn looked to Galadriel for her answer.
"It is the only thing we can do," she replied. "We must do something to close it."
James was still rapidly thinking about Galadriel. He really was the prettiest. So that would mean Galadriel would ditch Celeborn for him, right? Women always choose the prettier man over the ugly one! ("Uh...no...not this one at least, stupid," Eggbert says in disgust.) So Galadriel would definitely pick him. They could go riding off into the sunset and he would carry her away from that geek Celeborn—
"LORD CELEBORN IS NOT A GEEK YOU DORK BRAIN!" Good Lord, he could hear her all the way up in the tree! The Girl's words brought a smirk to Galadriel's and Celeborn's faces, but they quickly hid them before James could catch their expressions.
James was frustrated with The Girl. She always interrupted his fantasies! She never failed to butt right into the parts that were just about to get good, or he was about to do something absolutely brilliant or brave. Like save Galadriel from her geek husband and carry her off into the sun—
"STOP THINKING HE'S A GEEK FOR GOD SAKES! YOU'RE THE GEEK! IF YOU KEEP THINKING LIKE THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CARRY ANYONE OFF INTO THE SUNSET BECAUSE YOUR LEGS WILL BE BROKEN!" ("I agree whole-heartedly!" Eggbert cheers.) Blast! That wretched girl! Where did she learn to scream that loudly? And hhat was her problem? And why was everyone reading his mind? WHY? He let out a moan of irritation and rolled his eyes. Galadriel and Celeborn pretended not to notice.
James cursed under his breath. He swore, he was just going to kill The Girl someday! Honestly, she shouldn't intrude upon his thoughts like she did. She was nothing but a stupid little girl, after all! He should be free to live with his own opinions ("Disturbing opinions," Eggbert corrects.) and not have to worry about an obnoxious brat reading them! He was allowed to imagine Galadriel wearing—
"DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT THOUGHT YOUNG MAN! DON'T YOU DARE!" The Girl screeched from the ground. James started to bang his head against a wall. God have mercy...
**************
Who can guess what's going on with Katie reading minds? Because she certainly can't. Any guesses? It involves Galadriel, for one.
God...this started out as a little fic and yet it's somewhat popular all ready. It IS mucho fun writing though. ^_^
Blade Griffin: lmao! That MUST be the reason. No one would work with Bond for a low salary. NO ONE.
Dy: *nods her head energetically.* You bet I do. In fact, I loathe him.
Paladin Dragon: Well, he just...annoys me for some reason. And he seems to have a big ego. And he has to many girlfriends. He must not know the meaning of the term "commitment." He also killed Boris. AND the major problem I have with him is he's corrupted my brother's mind and so Andy runs around the house with guns made out of legos, making shooting sounds which drive me up a bloody wall.
