DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Not James Bond, not LOTR. Only meself and Emily.
CHAPTER SIX
James was finally given food and a place to sleep. Finally. The Elves were really very nice to him after they found out he wasn't some evil villain out to get them. James was insulted at the thought of that, even though he knew perfectly well they had a right to be wary of a stranger. The women hated evil men anyway, and James would never like women to hate him. Actually.Electra didn't mind him even when he was good and SHE was evil.But no, James would not convert. MOST girls liked the good guys. In fact, ALL of them did besides Electra, who was dead. (Eggbert coughs, and glares at James, saying, "I speak on behalf of Katie, who is in a conference with the Prime Minister of the Banana Land and could not make it to say this. She has told me if anything like this occurred, she wanted me to say this one name: Dorian Gray. I will also add to this, and explain. Katie happens to like Dorian Gray. Who was made out an evil guy. Even though it was his evil twin, and there is really a good twin locked up in Evil Dorian Gray's basement. That is all for now.")
"Will I get to see Galadriel again?" he asked Aragorn and Legolas, who were watching him eat.
"That's Lady Galadriel to you, cheesy muffin boy." Oh.and The Girl was here too.
"If you don't mind, would you buzz off," he snapped. She glared at him and threw a random rock at him. James rubbed his head where the rock hit in irritation. She had just moved his hair! His perfectly combed hair had been moved! ("Heaven forbid your hair should move!" Eggbert cries in mock horror.)
"Would you like something to drink with that?" Legolas offered. James nodded.
"Martini. Shaken, not stirred," he answered automatically. This got him stares from the Man and Elf.
"What is this marteenti you speak of?" Aragorn inquired.
"It's a vile drink that is vile. And vile. And Pepsi Blue is much better," The Girl said snottily. What a snotty.snot! James gave her a disgusted look.
"Nuh uh, Katie m'dear," called a voice from behind a tree. "Pepsi Blue is disgusting!" A blonde girl stepped out from behind a tree. She smiled sweetly at James, then proceeded to tackle him to the ground. James sighed pleasantly. Finally, his fangirls had returned! The new girl abruptly stood up, and screamed.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S, LIKE, PIERCE BROSNAN! OHMIGOD, I WANT TO MAAAAAAARRY YOU, PIERCE! YOU ARE LIKE, SOOOO SEXAY! ALL MY FRIENDS LOOOOVE YOU TO DEATH! WE ALL WANT TO MAAAAARRY YOU!" she screeched in a high pitched voice.
"That's fine with me," James answered happily. This was life!
SLAP!
"MAN SLUT!"
"Excuse me?" James rubbed his red cheek where she slapped him. How could she do that? He was James Bond! The Special One! Girls LOVED him! ("No, actually they don't," Eggbert tells him.)
"Emily, he can't be a man slut. He's gay!" The Girl told her supposed friend.
"Then he's a slut with men," Emily answered.
"Oh.so he's a gay man slut?"
"Yep!"
"But you just-" James started to say, confused.
"I was testing you. To see if you really did have a big ego," Emily explained with disdain. "And you do!"
"Emily, Katie, leave him alone," Legolas ordered. The girls glared at him and sat down. The Girl started to make faces at James. "Katie!"
"Sorry."
"Lying is not something looked highly upon," the blonde Elf said.
"I'm not lying! I'm seriously sorry!" The Girl insisted with a grin.
"Sorry that you have to meet this abhorrence, she means," Emily added. ("Me too, boys," Eggbert says, giving Legolas and Aragorn sympathetic looks.)
"La ba da doom..DOOOOOOOM! DOOOM! Doom shall fall upon those with Pomeranian chinchillas!" The Girl said randomly.
"Not if the fuzzy hair balls come first!" Emily said haughtily. James buried his face in his hands. One Girl he could barely stand. But two? He would not last till tomorrow if this continued. ("It's okay. Really. They just want to drive you insane enough so you'll throw yourself off a cliff in a last ditch attempt to rid yourself of the pain," Eggbert assures him with an evil cackle.) Legolas and Aragorn seemed to have slipped off. Lucky for them.
"Pesto is a type of pasta sauce, commonly found in South South Arabia, in the corner of Moscow, which is the capitol of Bosnia," The Girl declared, ignoring her friend's earlier comment about fuzzy hair balls. "The King of Ukraine orders it from the South Southern Arabians, who also sell him nice fluffy horseshoes. The Pesto Sauce he drinks daily in his big white bouncy room, and the fluffy horseshoes he nailed onto his slaves feet and makes them dance in them because he likes the sound of the horseshoes on stone." (Eggbert grins, and says, "That's awesome.")
"That's wonderful! Do you think he'll nail horseshoes to MY feet if I asked him to?" Emily asked The Girl.
"Oh, I'm sure. But you'll have to dance for him first. In a chicken suit, of course, which is the official dancing uniform of Ukraine. Here's the King's business card, if you want to give him a ring," The Girl said cheerfully, and picked one of the silvery leaves from the trees and handed it to Emily.
"Thank you!"
"No problemo!"
"Shoot me now," James moaned and started to cry. ("HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HE'S CRYING!" Eggbert yells loudly, howling with laughter.)
"You hate us!" The Girl squealed joyously.
"Yay!" Emily added, clapping her hands.
'Oh yes,' James thought miserably. 'Shoot me this instant.
*********************************
Yay.I updated.*hugs a random tree*
Cotume: *claps* You're so smart! *gives out hugs* That's what she's doings!
Paladin Dragoon: Yeah, it was crazy.but what did you expect? *grins*
Legolas stalker: *gives out more hugs* Yay! You guesseded correctically!
Newmoon: *gives out hugs for the third time* Yesh, tis correct! Exactly what she's doing! I like Katie too. She IS very cool. *Legolas pokes her head and tells her to stop fueling her ego or she'll be as bad as Bond. If that's even possible*
CHAPTER SIX
James was finally given food and a place to sleep. Finally. The Elves were really very nice to him after they found out he wasn't some evil villain out to get them. James was insulted at the thought of that, even though he knew perfectly well they had a right to be wary of a stranger. The women hated evil men anyway, and James would never like women to hate him. Actually.Electra didn't mind him even when he was good and SHE was evil.But no, James would not convert. MOST girls liked the good guys. In fact, ALL of them did besides Electra, who was dead. (Eggbert coughs, and glares at James, saying, "I speak on behalf of Katie, who is in a conference with the Prime Minister of the Banana Land and could not make it to say this. She has told me if anything like this occurred, she wanted me to say this one name: Dorian Gray. I will also add to this, and explain. Katie happens to like Dorian Gray. Who was made out an evil guy. Even though it was his evil twin, and there is really a good twin locked up in Evil Dorian Gray's basement. That is all for now.")
"Will I get to see Galadriel again?" he asked Aragorn and Legolas, who were watching him eat.
"That's Lady Galadriel to you, cheesy muffin boy." Oh.and The Girl was here too.
"If you don't mind, would you buzz off," he snapped. She glared at him and threw a random rock at him. James rubbed his head where the rock hit in irritation. She had just moved his hair! His perfectly combed hair had been moved! ("Heaven forbid your hair should move!" Eggbert cries in mock horror.)
"Would you like something to drink with that?" Legolas offered. James nodded.
"Martini. Shaken, not stirred," he answered automatically. This got him stares from the Man and Elf.
"What is this marteenti you speak of?" Aragorn inquired.
"It's a vile drink that is vile. And vile. And Pepsi Blue is much better," The Girl said snottily. What a snotty.snot! James gave her a disgusted look.
"Nuh uh, Katie m'dear," called a voice from behind a tree. "Pepsi Blue is disgusting!" A blonde girl stepped out from behind a tree. She smiled sweetly at James, then proceeded to tackle him to the ground. James sighed pleasantly. Finally, his fangirls had returned! The new girl abruptly stood up, and screamed.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S, LIKE, PIERCE BROSNAN! OHMIGOD, I WANT TO MAAAAAAARRY YOU, PIERCE! YOU ARE LIKE, SOOOO SEXAY! ALL MY FRIENDS LOOOOVE YOU TO DEATH! WE ALL WANT TO MAAAAARRY YOU!" she screeched in a high pitched voice.
"That's fine with me," James answered happily. This was life!
SLAP!
"MAN SLUT!"
"Excuse me?" James rubbed his red cheek where she slapped him. How could she do that? He was James Bond! The Special One! Girls LOVED him! ("No, actually they don't," Eggbert tells him.)
"Emily, he can't be a man slut. He's gay!" The Girl told her supposed friend.
"Then he's a slut with men," Emily answered.
"Oh.so he's a gay man slut?"
"Yep!"
"But you just-" James started to say, confused.
"I was testing you. To see if you really did have a big ego," Emily explained with disdain. "And you do!"
"Emily, Katie, leave him alone," Legolas ordered. The girls glared at him and sat down. The Girl started to make faces at James. "Katie!"
"Sorry."
"Lying is not something looked highly upon," the blonde Elf said.
"I'm not lying! I'm seriously sorry!" The Girl insisted with a grin.
"Sorry that you have to meet this abhorrence, she means," Emily added. ("Me too, boys," Eggbert says, giving Legolas and Aragorn sympathetic looks.)
"La ba da doom..DOOOOOOOM! DOOOM! Doom shall fall upon those with Pomeranian chinchillas!" The Girl said randomly.
"Not if the fuzzy hair balls come first!" Emily said haughtily. James buried his face in his hands. One Girl he could barely stand. But two? He would not last till tomorrow if this continued. ("It's okay. Really. They just want to drive you insane enough so you'll throw yourself off a cliff in a last ditch attempt to rid yourself of the pain," Eggbert assures him with an evil cackle.) Legolas and Aragorn seemed to have slipped off. Lucky for them.
"Pesto is a type of pasta sauce, commonly found in South South Arabia, in the corner of Moscow, which is the capitol of Bosnia," The Girl declared, ignoring her friend's earlier comment about fuzzy hair balls. "The King of Ukraine orders it from the South Southern Arabians, who also sell him nice fluffy horseshoes. The Pesto Sauce he drinks daily in his big white bouncy room, and the fluffy horseshoes he nailed onto his slaves feet and makes them dance in them because he likes the sound of the horseshoes on stone." (Eggbert grins, and says, "That's awesome.")
"That's wonderful! Do you think he'll nail horseshoes to MY feet if I asked him to?" Emily asked The Girl.
"Oh, I'm sure. But you'll have to dance for him first. In a chicken suit, of course, which is the official dancing uniform of Ukraine. Here's the King's business card, if you want to give him a ring," The Girl said cheerfully, and picked one of the silvery leaves from the trees and handed it to Emily.
"Thank you!"
"No problemo!"
"Shoot me now," James moaned and started to cry. ("HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HE'S CRYING!" Eggbert yells loudly, howling with laughter.)
"You hate us!" The Girl squealed joyously.
"Yay!" Emily added, clapping her hands.
'Oh yes,' James thought miserably. 'Shoot me this instant.
*********************************
Yay.I updated.*hugs a random tree*
Cotume: *claps* You're so smart! *gives out hugs* That's what she's doings!
Paladin Dragoon: Yeah, it was crazy.but what did you expect? *grins*
Legolas stalker: *gives out more hugs* Yay! You guesseded correctically!
Newmoon: *gives out hugs for the third time* Yesh, tis correct! Exactly what she's doing! I like Katie too. She IS very cool. *Legolas pokes her head and tells her to stop fueling her ego or she'll be as bad as Bond. If that's even possible*
