SHOW ME
A/N: I don't really remember if it was snowing the day Clow died. The notion
just felt right, but then, I wanted for Clow to die during the fall, because of
my personal beliefs. See? I got all mystical writing this. Anyway, except for
the last part, this could almost be a stand alone. The last part makes the
connection with the ongoing story so, yes, this flash back has a purpose.
Another thingy, what with everyone writing their fanfictions in this particular
fandom half in english half in japanese. i admit it, it looks great, but when I
saw the show, they never spoke half in english half in japanese, so it seems
rather pointless. Maybe it's anime fandom sacrilege, I don't give a rat's ass.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER 7
Minus a low, almost inaudible humming, the dim lit room was in complete
silence. The soft caress of the moonlight bathed it all, giving it a surreal
lilac glow. That was magic, in it's purest form. And as mere pieces of that
magical whole that was the world, humans had never been able to create anything
as beautiful or perfect.
But humans are, after all, creative beings. It is that earning and imagination
that separates them from other living creatures. That, and pride, which makes
them stop trying to duplicate the world and start to create it at their own
image. Artists are the ones playing god, not doctors, since an artist's impulse
resides on their love for their creations, and not on their power over them.
Love.
What a force it is. Capable of creating entire universes and destroying them as
easily when turned into hate. Because hate isn't the opposite of love, just it's
darkest side. Everything in the universe comes with a dark side, an apparent
opposite. To the eternal light and warmth of the sun there are black wholes,
same in concept, but taken into a destructive level. To the light, there is
darkness, both opposite at first sight, but one completely dependant on the
other to exist. The same applies to good and evil, peace and war. The ying and
the yang.
That duality of the universe, so simple and so complex at the same time had
always been the wise warlock's motivation. From day one he'd craved to
understand it completely. So, since he was a bit of an artist, he'd tried to
capture it in his own way.
One of the things that, as he saw it, were one of the most beautiful examples of
duality was the moon; and not for the obvious reasons. Yes, the moon was
commonly regarded as the opposite of the sun, even in those days, when that
concept had been refuted by science. But the moon carried duality on itself. For
it could only glow one half at a time, forced to always be divided between light
and darkness, much as the earth was, but, unlike with the earth, one could see
that cycle; it repeated itself incessantly. The light chasing the darkness away,
just to have the latter do the same once the light had ran it's course.
It was only natural that, when the time arrived to choose astral rulers for his
guardians, one of them would be the moon. And if there was moon, it needed sun;
but from the start, he'd been partial to the moon guardian, making him as much
as himself as he could. It hadn't turned out just as he'd expected it, but there
wasn't a hint of regret about the results.
Yue was, for all intents and purposes, the moon. For that, even when he'd tried
to fight the impulse, his white angel had always been his favourite.
That day had ended as so many others had. The ancient souled warlock reading on
his favourite couch, the old sitting room lighted by moonlight from his left, and
by the hearth from his right. And of course, by the hearth rested Kerberos. Clow
smiled despite himself. Yue might have had a privileged position since being
created, and he surely had earned his place as his favourite by being so much
more that what Clow had expected, but Kerberos had won a place on the warlock's
heart as well, just by being his annoying self.
On his left, sited at his feet and resting his head on Clow's knee was Yue.
At first he had objected to the moon guardian's habit, considering it degrading
and unsuitable for such a dignified and powerful creature. But Yue's adoration
for him wasn't a pose. The angel didn't do it to suck up to him, he did it
because it was the time of the day when the guardian needed to stop protecting
and start being protected.
One does not deny rest to someone who sleeps with one eye open and on a sitting
position just to keep them safe. If that was what Yue needed to rest, he
couldn't say anything against it. Besides, it had never been unpleasant having
that beautiful young being resting by his side, silently asking for affection.
As quiet and laconic as Yue appeared to be, his heart was far more sensitive and
vulnerable than that of the sun guardian. It made Clow far more protective of
him than Kerberos, though he was happy the lion was thick-skinned. Specially
that night.
The sun was beginning to set earlier those days, and Clow Reed was starting to
feel nature dying around him. Autumn was the most painful season of all, while
winter was the most exhausting. Sometimes he'd curse his luck. There wasn't many
people as powerful as him, and most sorcerers envied him for it. He'd faced many
of them on their attempt to boost their wounded egos. But for all his battle
scars and all the tiring work he'd carried thorough his entire life, he'd given
anything to explain to all of those who'd envied him; to make them understand
that they really didn't wish to have his powers. For they had always reside on
nature, more than on the stars, as most of the sorcerer's powers. And there
wasn't anything more violent and cruel than mother nature, if one had to feel it
inside one's soul, raging, destroying, dying, being born, over and over again.
That day would end like many others had. The summer was ending like many times
before. The moon was full again.
Clow felt moisture on his knee, trespassing his velvet cloak. He sighed sadly and
put the book he was reading, his favourite book, aside. There was no regret on
his decisions. Clow wasn't perfect, he'd make mistakes, but when you are as
wise as someone who'd live as long as he had and seen as much as he had, you
know mistakes aren't things to regret, but to learn from. But he still hurt
inside, seeing the pain he was causing. He'd make sure to fix that, when the
time was right.
For a long time he just stared at the mass of white hair resting on his knee.
The face that belonged to the owner of that silky hair was buried on the fabric
of his cloak. He spent long minutes just stroking that hair and humming, just as
he'd done when his beautiful angel was upset with Kerberos, or confused, like
during his first months on this world. It was an old lullaby his grandmother
used to sing to him, ages ago. It had become a mantra between the two. Clow half
suspected that most of the time Yue would be faking sorrow, since no lullaby
could bring the bright, innocent smile that would decorate the angel's face once
it was time for bed. The warmth on those crystal blue eyes was rather ironic
most of the time, considering the feline eyes looked like ice.
But Clow knew for certain there would be no bright smile that night. The time of
the light had ended for the moon.
It was precisely the moon what had given him the idea for his last gift to his
favoured child.
The warlock took the delicate chin with one hand and lifted Yue's face to meet
his. It was weird and most inappropriate to see those eyes red-rimmed. The snow
beauty, who at the time looked as helpless and scared as a trapped bunny, looked
pleadingly at him; a million questions and pleas unspoken evident on his face.
Yue always wore his heart on his sleeve, that was why Clow loved him so much.
There was no deceit possible where Yue was concerned.
Clow smiled tenderly and whispered.
"Come outside with me, my dear Yue. Lets leave Kerberos sleep, there's something
I need to tell you."
Without a word, the moon guardian rose from the floor and headed for the door.
He walked a few steps ahead oh the warlock, hiding his tear stricken face under
his impossibly long bangs.
It was funny to see the garden covered with snow in the middle of September, but
Snow hadn't taken the news so well, and Clow was very understanding of the
card's need to mourn, as well as a bit flattered and delighted to be able to see
how beautiful the garden looked covered in white one more time.
Yue remain standing under the doorframe, looking downcast, as Clow knew he was
feeling. He met his eyes and shivered at the shadows he found in them. Eyes that
were at times bright and joyful, sometimes deep and pensive, but never as cold
and somber as now. It was time.
"Yue, I'm sorry." he said sincerely. Yue took a shaky breath and nodded.
"I understand, Clow." he answered coldly.
"No you don't." Clow smiled. "I can't make you understand, and that's why I'm
sorry. Not for my choice." the taller man saw a flash of hurt cross the
guardian's eyes, that was soon replaced with the same cocky attitude he'd wear
for Kerberos when they were arguing. He couldn't help the smile coming back to
his face.
"Is that what you needed to tell me, *master*?" Yue always accentuated that
title whenever he was feeling left out and aggravated in some way. Some things
would never change.
"No, it's not." Clow walked closer to him, but Yue took a step back. "Don't be
stubborn and come here." he said with his usual smile, pulling the slender form
into a tight hug. Eventually, as he knew it would happen, Yue melted in his arms
and stifled a sob. Clow begun stroking his hair and rubbing his back in a
soothing motion. "Shhhhh. It'll be alright. I promise."
Yue shook helplessly in his arms.
"I love you! You can't leave me!" the moon guardian cried with a muffled voice.
Clow tightened his hold on him.
"I love you too, Yue, you know that." Clow cooed, soothingly. But Yue shook free
from the embrace, with a desperate look on his face.
"No! You don't understand, I *love* you!"
Clow sighed sadly. He was hoping Yue would be able to hold his peace. He didn't
feel like braking his beloved angel's heart twice in one day. He almost smiles;
he'd seen Yue's future, he'd even planned it, but Yue wasn't as predictable as
everyone thought, and one look into the guardian's future told him he'd defy
Clow's plans. Not that he minded in the least. But he amusedly remembered
seeing Yue delivering as speech exactly like the one he should have delivered at
that moment. Should have, but wasn't going to.
One thing his beloved Yue needed to hang on until that faithful time was hope,
he was going to give him that. Hope, and another gift he knew Yue wouldn't
appreciate, or even understand.
The sorcerer approached him once more, this time taking the delicate face with
both hands and smiling warmly. He slowly leaned his face over to kiss Yue, but
the moon guardian backed away, just slightly, disbelief and happiness showing on
his face.
"Is this pity?" Yue asked, fearful. Clow's smile widened.
"Do you believe in fate, Yue? It'd be really funny if you didn't." he smirked,
with his usual cheerful manner. Yue almost smiled at that, and Clow could see
it.
"Of course I believe in fate, Clow." he said uncertain.
"I told you the role you'll play in choosing the next master. And you will,
eventually, have a new master." Yue's apprehension at this was evident. "Of
course you'll be harsh on your judgement, and find someone who's really worthy
of you, Kerberos and the cards. But I promise you, Yue, I will be back. And the
day we meet again, that day you'll know what loving and being loved in return
means."
Of course he knew Yue would take his statement the wrong way. In a way, that was
better. Yue would never understand that Clow's destiny had been creating him,
teaching him, loving him as much as he could, but he wasn't meant to be with
him. If he were to tell Yue the truth straightforward, it would only do more
damage than good. The stubborn angel would pass on that gift out of pride, and
Clow couldn't have that. Still, he hurt upon seeing the pure, innocent joy that
shown on Yue's face. It was time to give him his ultimate gift.
Clow, without hesitation, pressed his lips upon Yue's. Yue froze in shock at
first, but soon begun returning the kiss, and Clow smiled inwardly. There was no
passion in that kiss, just tenderness. A glow enveloped them both and Yue
whimpered in confusion before passing out.
Clow tenderly deposited the limp body on the ground, admiring his work.
"From now on, my dear Yue, just like the moon that served me to name you, your
soul will be divided. The grief you felt tonight will sleep while your happiness
shines. And while when you're happy you won't remember the sorrow, you'll be
able to remember the happiness when your wounded hart is needed. Both faces
won't meet again, until you are ready to heal." he stroked the now shorter hair
and rosy cheeks. "I bet amber suits your eyes wonderfully. Sleep now." he kissed
the boy's cheek.
Dawn was approaching. With one motion of his hand he sealed Kerberos back on the
book, along with the cards. The book would find it's place where it would be
found later. As for the young boy in front of him, he'd sleep, living memories of
happy times and protected of the outside world until it was time to wake up.
There was a faint orange gleam on the horizon. Clow smiled.
"No more sunrises for this old sorcerer. At least not for now."
The guardians would remember his death as if they had been there. It wasn't for
them he'd kept them away on his final moments. He couldn't bare the idea of
saying good bye to his beloved children.
Winter was the season where nature gathered it's energy. It was a time for
planning and serious work. Spring couldn't come with nature unprepared. But this
winter would be a little longer.
Clow closed his eyes. Yes, autumn had been the right choice. he let himself be
taken over by the forces of nature and felt himself slip away.
************************
Yue woke up with a start. He was as disoriented as Yukito would have been a few
months ago. Soon he remembered where he was. Touya's hospital room, sitting in a
very uncomfortable position besides the young man's bed. Yukito had convinced
Touya's father and sister to go home for the night, get rest and be back in the
morning with whatever Touya might need, while he stayed with him. Sometime
during the night, Yue had emerged. But that was the last he remembered.
How could have he fallen asleep on his true form? Anyone could have seen him!
The moonlight played with the bars on the windows, making patterns on the
walls, giving Yue a sense of deja vu,
The silence of that early morning was disrupted by Yue's strangle sob when he
remembered the dream he'd just had. His memories of his master's death were
limited to Clow informing him and Kerberos of his decision and then burying him
on the garden. Those last moments with him must have been buried deep in his
mind. How could he forget?!
Just then he realised he'd been cheated. Clow was back, but he didn't want him.
What went wrong? Clow had never been a liar; a joker, maybe, but never a liar.
He felt a familiar sensation enveloping him and he gasped.
"Clow?!" he almost yelled, and hear a soft chuckle coming from the door.
"You're going to wake up everyone." the younger, yet recognisable voice said
amusedly.
"What are you doing here?" Yue asked softly.
"Making sure you don't start spreading the voice around that I'm a liar." The
ancient souled boy walked up to him and rested his hands on Yue's shoulders. Yue
shivered.
"You aren't a liar then?" He asked, scorned. What was it with this man/boy that
made it impossible for him to keep his laconic facade like he'd do with everyone
else?
Eriol smiled sweetly, but there was always that joking side of that smile that
made it impossible to fully trust the sorcerer.
"No, Yue, I'm not. I must say I'm a little disappointed though."
Despite himself, Yue lowered his head, ashamed.
"Why is that?" he asked fearful.
"Because you've let the past take over your being. Your memories aren't even
accurate anymore, and no..." the boy chuckled, seeing Yue's sarcastic expression
at that comment. "...I don't mean the ones I took the liberty of altering."
Yue looked baffled.
"What do you mean by that, Clow?"
"I'd suggest you follow your own advice and analyse your true feelings Yue. It
worked for Li and Sakura, and if I remember correctly, it was you who gave them
such advice."
"My feelings? Stop playing games, Clow!"
Eriol laughed.
"I'm terribly sorry, but that's not very likely to happen anytime soon. And
about your feelings, that you have to figure out for yourself." There was a hint
of sadness on Eriol's face as he gazed at the young man sleeping restrained on
the bed. "I suggest you hurry."
Touya woke up with a wail. That irrational look on his face, screaming and
crying out for help. Yue immediately changed into Yukito, staring at the scene
developing before him from the back of his mind. He could also see Eriol was
gone, but not his aura. His master's words echoed in his head so loud he was
sure Yukito would hear them.
How he wished he could be Yukito; forget about his pain, about his loyalty to
Clow and be able to free all the feelings building up inside of him.
To be able to love Touya freely...
The last thought was unexpected and surprised Yue to the point where he'd to
get away as fast as he could from the taller boy, his screaming and his pain.
Away from his feelings.
No, they were Yukito's feelings! Not his!
He managed to manipulate his *false* form into leaving the hospital.
Yukito suddenly needed to breathe some fresh air. The doctors would take care of
Touya's episode. There was nothing he could do.
TBC
A/N: I don't really remember if it was snowing the day Clow died. The notion
just felt right, but then, I wanted for Clow to die during the fall, because of
my personal beliefs. See? I got all mystical writing this. Anyway, except for
the last part, this could almost be a stand alone. The last part makes the
connection with the ongoing story so, yes, this flash back has a purpose.
Another thingy, what with everyone writing their fanfictions in this particular
fandom half in english half in japanese. i admit it, it looks great, but when I
saw the show, they never spoke half in english half in japanese, so it seems
rather pointless. Maybe it's anime fandom sacrilege, I don't give a rat's ass.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER 7
Minus a low, almost inaudible humming, the dim lit room was in complete
silence. The soft caress of the moonlight bathed it all, giving it a surreal
lilac glow. That was magic, in it's purest form. And as mere pieces of that
magical whole that was the world, humans had never been able to create anything
as beautiful or perfect.
But humans are, after all, creative beings. It is that earning and imagination
that separates them from other living creatures. That, and pride, which makes
them stop trying to duplicate the world and start to create it at their own
image. Artists are the ones playing god, not doctors, since an artist's impulse
resides on their love for their creations, and not on their power over them.
Love.
What a force it is. Capable of creating entire universes and destroying them as
easily when turned into hate. Because hate isn't the opposite of love, just it's
darkest side. Everything in the universe comes with a dark side, an apparent
opposite. To the eternal light and warmth of the sun there are black wholes,
same in concept, but taken into a destructive level. To the light, there is
darkness, both opposite at first sight, but one completely dependant on the
other to exist. The same applies to good and evil, peace and war. The ying and
the yang.
That duality of the universe, so simple and so complex at the same time had
always been the wise warlock's motivation. From day one he'd craved to
understand it completely. So, since he was a bit of an artist, he'd tried to
capture it in his own way.
One of the things that, as he saw it, were one of the most beautiful examples of
duality was the moon; and not for the obvious reasons. Yes, the moon was
commonly regarded as the opposite of the sun, even in those days, when that
concept had been refuted by science. But the moon carried duality on itself. For
it could only glow one half at a time, forced to always be divided between light
and darkness, much as the earth was, but, unlike with the earth, one could see
that cycle; it repeated itself incessantly. The light chasing the darkness away,
just to have the latter do the same once the light had ran it's course.
It was only natural that, when the time arrived to choose astral rulers for his
guardians, one of them would be the moon. And if there was moon, it needed sun;
but from the start, he'd been partial to the moon guardian, making him as much
as himself as he could. It hadn't turned out just as he'd expected it, but there
wasn't a hint of regret about the results.
Yue was, for all intents and purposes, the moon. For that, even when he'd tried
to fight the impulse, his white angel had always been his favourite.
That day had ended as so many others had. The ancient souled warlock reading on
his favourite couch, the old sitting room lighted by moonlight from his left, and
by the hearth from his right. And of course, by the hearth rested Kerberos. Clow
smiled despite himself. Yue might have had a privileged position since being
created, and he surely had earned his place as his favourite by being so much
more that what Clow had expected, but Kerberos had won a place on the warlock's
heart as well, just by being his annoying self.
On his left, sited at his feet and resting his head on Clow's knee was Yue.
At first he had objected to the moon guardian's habit, considering it degrading
and unsuitable for such a dignified and powerful creature. But Yue's adoration
for him wasn't a pose. The angel didn't do it to suck up to him, he did it
because it was the time of the day when the guardian needed to stop protecting
and start being protected.
One does not deny rest to someone who sleeps with one eye open and on a sitting
position just to keep them safe. If that was what Yue needed to rest, he
couldn't say anything against it. Besides, it had never been unpleasant having
that beautiful young being resting by his side, silently asking for affection.
As quiet and laconic as Yue appeared to be, his heart was far more sensitive and
vulnerable than that of the sun guardian. It made Clow far more protective of
him than Kerberos, though he was happy the lion was thick-skinned. Specially
that night.
The sun was beginning to set earlier those days, and Clow Reed was starting to
feel nature dying around him. Autumn was the most painful season of all, while
winter was the most exhausting. Sometimes he'd curse his luck. There wasn't many
people as powerful as him, and most sorcerers envied him for it. He'd faced many
of them on their attempt to boost their wounded egos. But for all his battle
scars and all the tiring work he'd carried thorough his entire life, he'd given
anything to explain to all of those who'd envied him; to make them understand
that they really didn't wish to have his powers. For they had always reside on
nature, more than on the stars, as most of the sorcerer's powers. And there
wasn't anything more violent and cruel than mother nature, if one had to feel it
inside one's soul, raging, destroying, dying, being born, over and over again.
That day would end like many others had. The summer was ending like many times
before. The moon was full again.
Clow felt moisture on his knee, trespassing his velvet cloak. He sighed sadly and
put the book he was reading, his favourite book, aside. There was no regret on
his decisions. Clow wasn't perfect, he'd make mistakes, but when you are as
wise as someone who'd live as long as he had and seen as much as he had, you
know mistakes aren't things to regret, but to learn from. But he still hurt
inside, seeing the pain he was causing. He'd make sure to fix that, when the
time was right.
For a long time he just stared at the mass of white hair resting on his knee.
The face that belonged to the owner of that silky hair was buried on the fabric
of his cloak. He spent long minutes just stroking that hair and humming, just as
he'd done when his beautiful angel was upset with Kerberos, or confused, like
during his first months on this world. It was an old lullaby his grandmother
used to sing to him, ages ago. It had become a mantra between the two. Clow half
suspected that most of the time Yue would be faking sorrow, since no lullaby
could bring the bright, innocent smile that would decorate the angel's face once
it was time for bed. The warmth on those crystal blue eyes was rather ironic
most of the time, considering the feline eyes looked like ice.
But Clow knew for certain there would be no bright smile that night. The time of
the light had ended for the moon.
It was precisely the moon what had given him the idea for his last gift to his
favoured child.
The warlock took the delicate chin with one hand and lifted Yue's face to meet
his. It was weird and most inappropriate to see those eyes red-rimmed. The snow
beauty, who at the time looked as helpless and scared as a trapped bunny, looked
pleadingly at him; a million questions and pleas unspoken evident on his face.
Yue always wore his heart on his sleeve, that was why Clow loved him so much.
There was no deceit possible where Yue was concerned.
Clow smiled tenderly and whispered.
"Come outside with me, my dear Yue. Lets leave Kerberos sleep, there's something
I need to tell you."
Without a word, the moon guardian rose from the floor and headed for the door.
He walked a few steps ahead oh the warlock, hiding his tear stricken face under
his impossibly long bangs.
It was funny to see the garden covered with snow in the middle of September, but
Snow hadn't taken the news so well, and Clow was very understanding of the
card's need to mourn, as well as a bit flattered and delighted to be able to see
how beautiful the garden looked covered in white one more time.
Yue remain standing under the doorframe, looking downcast, as Clow knew he was
feeling. He met his eyes and shivered at the shadows he found in them. Eyes that
were at times bright and joyful, sometimes deep and pensive, but never as cold
and somber as now. It was time.
"Yue, I'm sorry." he said sincerely. Yue took a shaky breath and nodded.
"I understand, Clow." he answered coldly.
"No you don't." Clow smiled. "I can't make you understand, and that's why I'm
sorry. Not for my choice." the taller man saw a flash of hurt cross the
guardian's eyes, that was soon replaced with the same cocky attitude he'd wear
for Kerberos when they were arguing. He couldn't help the smile coming back to
his face.
"Is that what you needed to tell me, *master*?" Yue always accentuated that
title whenever he was feeling left out and aggravated in some way. Some things
would never change.
"No, it's not." Clow walked closer to him, but Yue took a step back. "Don't be
stubborn and come here." he said with his usual smile, pulling the slender form
into a tight hug. Eventually, as he knew it would happen, Yue melted in his arms
and stifled a sob. Clow begun stroking his hair and rubbing his back in a
soothing motion. "Shhhhh. It'll be alright. I promise."
Yue shook helplessly in his arms.
"I love you! You can't leave me!" the moon guardian cried with a muffled voice.
Clow tightened his hold on him.
"I love you too, Yue, you know that." Clow cooed, soothingly. But Yue shook free
from the embrace, with a desperate look on his face.
"No! You don't understand, I *love* you!"
Clow sighed sadly. He was hoping Yue would be able to hold his peace. He didn't
feel like braking his beloved angel's heart twice in one day. He almost smiles;
he'd seen Yue's future, he'd even planned it, but Yue wasn't as predictable as
everyone thought, and one look into the guardian's future told him he'd defy
Clow's plans. Not that he minded in the least. But he amusedly remembered
seeing Yue delivering as speech exactly like the one he should have delivered at
that moment. Should have, but wasn't going to.
One thing his beloved Yue needed to hang on until that faithful time was hope,
he was going to give him that. Hope, and another gift he knew Yue wouldn't
appreciate, or even understand.
The sorcerer approached him once more, this time taking the delicate face with
both hands and smiling warmly. He slowly leaned his face over to kiss Yue, but
the moon guardian backed away, just slightly, disbelief and happiness showing on
his face.
"Is this pity?" Yue asked, fearful. Clow's smile widened.
"Do you believe in fate, Yue? It'd be really funny if you didn't." he smirked,
with his usual cheerful manner. Yue almost smiled at that, and Clow could see
it.
"Of course I believe in fate, Clow." he said uncertain.
"I told you the role you'll play in choosing the next master. And you will,
eventually, have a new master." Yue's apprehension at this was evident. "Of
course you'll be harsh on your judgement, and find someone who's really worthy
of you, Kerberos and the cards. But I promise you, Yue, I will be back. And the
day we meet again, that day you'll know what loving and being loved in return
means."
Of course he knew Yue would take his statement the wrong way. In a way, that was
better. Yue would never understand that Clow's destiny had been creating him,
teaching him, loving him as much as he could, but he wasn't meant to be with
him. If he were to tell Yue the truth straightforward, it would only do more
damage than good. The stubborn angel would pass on that gift out of pride, and
Clow couldn't have that. Still, he hurt upon seeing the pure, innocent joy that
shown on Yue's face. It was time to give him his ultimate gift.
Clow, without hesitation, pressed his lips upon Yue's. Yue froze in shock at
first, but soon begun returning the kiss, and Clow smiled inwardly. There was no
passion in that kiss, just tenderness. A glow enveloped them both and Yue
whimpered in confusion before passing out.
Clow tenderly deposited the limp body on the ground, admiring his work.
"From now on, my dear Yue, just like the moon that served me to name you, your
soul will be divided. The grief you felt tonight will sleep while your happiness
shines. And while when you're happy you won't remember the sorrow, you'll be
able to remember the happiness when your wounded hart is needed. Both faces
won't meet again, until you are ready to heal." he stroked the now shorter hair
and rosy cheeks. "I bet amber suits your eyes wonderfully. Sleep now." he kissed
the boy's cheek.
Dawn was approaching. With one motion of his hand he sealed Kerberos back on the
book, along with the cards. The book would find it's place where it would be
found later. As for the young boy in front of him, he'd sleep, living memories of
happy times and protected of the outside world until it was time to wake up.
There was a faint orange gleam on the horizon. Clow smiled.
"No more sunrises for this old sorcerer. At least not for now."
The guardians would remember his death as if they had been there. It wasn't for
them he'd kept them away on his final moments. He couldn't bare the idea of
saying good bye to his beloved children.
Winter was the season where nature gathered it's energy. It was a time for
planning and serious work. Spring couldn't come with nature unprepared. But this
winter would be a little longer.
Clow closed his eyes. Yes, autumn had been the right choice. he let himself be
taken over by the forces of nature and felt himself slip away.
************************
Yue woke up with a start. He was as disoriented as Yukito would have been a few
months ago. Soon he remembered where he was. Touya's hospital room, sitting in a
very uncomfortable position besides the young man's bed. Yukito had convinced
Touya's father and sister to go home for the night, get rest and be back in the
morning with whatever Touya might need, while he stayed with him. Sometime
during the night, Yue had emerged. But that was the last he remembered.
How could have he fallen asleep on his true form? Anyone could have seen him!
The moonlight played with the bars on the windows, making patterns on the
walls, giving Yue a sense of deja vu,
The silence of that early morning was disrupted by Yue's strangle sob when he
remembered the dream he'd just had. His memories of his master's death were
limited to Clow informing him and Kerberos of his decision and then burying him
on the garden. Those last moments with him must have been buried deep in his
mind. How could he forget?!
Just then he realised he'd been cheated. Clow was back, but he didn't want him.
What went wrong? Clow had never been a liar; a joker, maybe, but never a liar.
He felt a familiar sensation enveloping him and he gasped.
"Clow?!" he almost yelled, and hear a soft chuckle coming from the door.
"You're going to wake up everyone." the younger, yet recognisable voice said
amusedly.
"What are you doing here?" Yue asked softly.
"Making sure you don't start spreading the voice around that I'm a liar." The
ancient souled boy walked up to him and rested his hands on Yue's shoulders. Yue
shivered.
"You aren't a liar then?" He asked, scorned. What was it with this man/boy that
made it impossible for him to keep his laconic facade like he'd do with everyone
else?
Eriol smiled sweetly, but there was always that joking side of that smile that
made it impossible to fully trust the sorcerer.
"No, Yue, I'm not. I must say I'm a little disappointed though."
Despite himself, Yue lowered his head, ashamed.
"Why is that?" he asked fearful.
"Because you've let the past take over your being. Your memories aren't even
accurate anymore, and no..." the boy chuckled, seeing Yue's sarcastic expression
at that comment. "...I don't mean the ones I took the liberty of altering."
Yue looked baffled.
"What do you mean by that, Clow?"
"I'd suggest you follow your own advice and analyse your true feelings Yue. It
worked for Li and Sakura, and if I remember correctly, it was you who gave them
such advice."
"My feelings? Stop playing games, Clow!"
Eriol laughed.
"I'm terribly sorry, but that's not very likely to happen anytime soon. And
about your feelings, that you have to figure out for yourself." There was a hint
of sadness on Eriol's face as he gazed at the young man sleeping restrained on
the bed. "I suggest you hurry."
Touya woke up with a wail. That irrational look on his face, screaming and
crying out for help. Yue immediately changed into Yukito, staring at the scene
developing before him from the back of his mind. He could also see Eriol was
gone, but not his aura. His master's words echoed in his head so loud he was
sure Yukito would hear them.
How he wished he could be Yukito; forget about his pain, about his loyalty to
Clow and be able to free all the feelings building up inside of him.
To be able to love Touya freely...
The last thought was unexpected and surprised Yue to the point where he'd to
get away as fast as he could from the taller boy, his screaming and his pain.
Away from his feelings.
No, they were Yukito's feelings! Not his!
He managed to manipulate his *false* form into leaving the hospital.
Yukito suddenly needed to breathe some fresh air. The doctors would take care of
Touya's episode. There was nothing he could do.
TBC
