Thanks for your comments! I really appreciated them! Danke schon!
NGE is property of Gainax. Oh yes, at the end of the story, there will now be a series of questions for you to ponder and answer!
**********
"Give me your murderess ass, bitch!" Misato shouted, leapt with cat like agility and tackled Rei to the ground.
"Misato!" Asuka yelled, "KILL HER!"
"Asuka!" Shinji pinched Asuka, who slapped him back. "Misato, what are you doing!"
"You filthy bitch! I knew it! You killed them both!" Misato slammed Rei's face into the floor.
"You're hurting her, stop this Misato!" Shinji screamed, and like a baby immediately started to cry.
"I think that's the point, Shinj." Asuka whispered to him.
Misato pulled out a pair of handcuffs and fit them around Rei's pale white wrists.
"Wait, Rei, please, defend yourself!" Shinji pleaded. Asuka pinched him, Shinji's yelp breaking glass.
"…"
"What was that?" Misato asked, and slammed Rei into the floor again. She flipped Rei over so Rei could see Misato leaning over her. Misato shook her violently and dropped her like a rag doll on the ground. "Speak up so everyone can hear you!"
Rei got to her feet and cleared her throat. Her meek voice said loudly, "…"
"You say that you didn't kill Shigeru and Makoto?" Misato incredulously said.
"…"
"Then why was this in the pool filter?" Misato stuck the baggie filled with chips in Rei's face. A quizzical look came across her, and Asuka snatched the chips from Misato's hand.
"Yum! Low-fat." Asuka started munching.
"Wait, that's not the-" Misato rummaged through all the pockets in her jacket. "Ah! Here!" Misato pulled out a jar with ants in it. "Uggh, that's not it either." Misato tossed the jar aside and it shattered on the ground, the ants scattering.
"What's she looking for?" Shinji asked.
"Don't ask me." Asuka replied angrily. Misato swore horrible things and took off her jacket and started beating it against a chair. The gun started going off with each beat. Asuka and Shinji took cover under a desk as Misato ignored the shots and continued to beat the jacket. Misato groaned and tossed the jacket to the side. She got on all fours and started rummaging through all the baggies that had fallen from the jacket.
Shinji's eyes wandered up her legs. Up her smooth calves, and perfect thighs, up the end of her dress and toward the crease where the shape of her butt wa-
"Dummkopf!" Asuka slapped Shinji. "Stop staring at Misato's butt! If you want to objectify a woman, objectify me!"
Shinji held his cheek for a second and then a spark his head and he shouted in surprise, "What?!"
"That got your attention, didn't it Shinj?" Asuka crawled over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. Shinji edged away slightly which only made Asuka more aggressive. She growled and bared her teeth. Shinji noticed that she sharpened her canines.
"I'm the top, Shinji, so shut up and let me work." Asuka pounced on Shinji, who crawled out just in time. Asuka's head smashed into the side of the desk. She moaned and rubbed her head in pain. She crawled back out, flipped her hair, and straightened her turtleneck. "I'm okay. Ego's a little bruised, as is the head."
"Maybe if you didn't throw yourself onto me all the time." Shinji said proudly, as if he was a chick magnet.
"Don't flatter yourself, you idiot. It's called convenience, because the fact is that you're the only guy that's my age left in the entire city." Asuka then admitted, "I would try something on Fuyutsuki, but alas, I fear his raw sexual magnetism."
"Aha!" Misato stood up proudly and tossed a dictionary of slang to the side and held the final baggie up proudly, with the little Hello Kitty barrette gleaming in the artificial light. "Why was this in the pool filter then?!"
"…"
"Well, that makes sense." Shinji said matter-of-factly.
"You were having a late night swim?" Misato asked, her entire accusation challenged.
"…"
"Where did you go after that?" Misato interrogated.
"…"
"You came here? Why?"
"…"
"You were stealing food from the NERV kitchenette refrigerator?"
"So that's where my sponge cake went! Bitch!" Asuka screamed and tackled Rei down. Misato picked Asuka off and tossed her to the side.
"Why did you come into the control room?"
"…"
"You were looking for Maya?" Misato whispered in confusion.
Just at that moment, Maya walked in with Ritsuko, Gendo and Fuyutsuki in tow. Maya smiled and rubbed her golden heart shaped locket for a second as Ritsuko walked past, oblivious.
"Ritsuko! Where have you been?" Misato asked.
Ritsuko giggled and abruptly stopped herself. She covered her mouth and winked a lot, at no general person. Misato watched in bewilderment as Ritsuko bent down to tie her shoe, but realized she was wearing boots and broke down into a fit of giggles.
"Ritsuko, are you alright?" Misato helped Ritsuko stand up. Misato stared into Ritsuko's eyes and saw that they were bloodshot. "Ritsuko! Have you been staying up late again?"
"I found her in the security monitor room. She was drinking and smoking." Maya said.
"Smoking?! Smoking what?!" Misato screamed.
"Just a little bit of this- a little bit of that…" Ritsuko swaggered and collapsed into Asuka's arms, who dropped her on the spot.
"Asuka!" Maya screamed and went to Ritsuko's side.
"Sorry, she was just so grimy." Asuka wiped her hands on Shinji's shirt.
"Gendo, Fuyutsuki, did you find anything?" Misato turned to them.
Gendo was buttoning up his shirt and Fuyutsuki pushing some of stray hairs back into place. Gendo's glasses were hanging from his ear and he straightened them as well. Fuyutsuki bent down to tie his shoe and then stood up as well, pulling on his collar a bit so he could clear his throat.
"What happened to you two?" Misato asked.
"Well- We, um…" Gendo stammered.
"We fell down a flight of stairs!" Fuyutsuki said abruptly.
"Wait- I don't have to answer to you! I'm the commander!" Gendo yelled.
"Oh, fine. Now, let's all go to the pool through the secret passage!" Misato said and led the way. Maya helped Ritsuko up and carried her, following Misato. Fuyutsuki, Shinji and Rei followed behind, but Asuka stayed behind.
"Your fly's open." Asuka smiled and jogged to catch up with Shinji. Gendo looked down in shock and quickly unexposed himself.
***********
The body of Hobo floated in the water. Misato led the way into the dimly lit pool auditorium. She followed the blood and showed everyone the pool table and where Makoto's body lay.
Misato kicked Makoto's body over and snapped her fingers. Shinji sighed and walked reluctantly over. Shinji bent over, wrapped his hands around Makoto's ankles and feebly dragged him slowly out from underneath the table. Makoto's head bumped over the tiles.
"Christ, let a real man do it!" Asuka pushed up her sleeves and pushed Shinji into the pool. She picked up Makoto's legs, slung them over her shoulder and dragged him out into a clear area. She dropped him with a 'thunk' on the ground.
"Do you really think that was necessary?" Shinji complained, pulling himself out from the pool. Asuka ignored him and covered her mouth in disgust at looking at Makoto's mangled body.
The gang crowded around the body.
"He was stabbed."
"And slashed."
"And gouged."
"And gutted."
"Where did I put that goddamn moist toilette-" Shinji muttered, fumbling through his pockets. The others around him glared at him. Shinji shut his mouth and put his hands in his pocket. Misato stepped forward to examine the body.
"But who would take all the time to kill him so brutally?" Misato wondered aloud.
"Probably someone who hated him…" Asuka muttered.
"Interesting. Shigeru was shot though." Shinji whispered to himself, "Why wasn't Makoto?"
"What do we do next?" Maya asked.
"Wait, didn't you say that you found Ritsuko in the security monitoring room?" Misato asked Maya.
"Yes, she was in there alone." Maya replied.
"Interesting, do you think the security cameras picked up anything that might help us with the killer?" Misato asked.
"Well, sure… I guess." Maya replied.
"Well, it's better than what we've got now!" Misato said. "Now, Gendo, Fuyutsuki, Maya and Ritsuko stay here. Okay? Children, come with me!"
**********
"Why are we going this way? It's so slow, and we have to pass that ugly statue of Shinji." Asuka whined.
"It's not that ugly." Shinji said.
They passed the bronzed statue of Shinji, which stood tall to the ceiling, towering above the little mortals walking underneath it. Shinji in the statue was sitting underneath a fig tree, with a thoughtful look upon his face. Asuka scoffed and spit on it. Rei stared at it and said, "…"
"Well, of course Wonderbitch. You don't complain 'cause you already have a statue!" Asuka pointed over to the statue of Rei whose pose was that of Superwoman.
"…"
"Of course it's not flattering. They gave you a skirt! Those sick janitors always look up it whenever they dust." Asuka muttered. And then unhappily, "Why didn't they give me a statue?"
"Maybe because you're German." Shinji suggested. Asuka's hand broke the sound barrier smashing against Shinji's face. Shinji flew from the ground, soared through the air, and broke through the leg of his statue. The statue shook and toppled over. Shinji got up from the rubble and dusted himself off. He cricked his back, and walked over, "That was just unnecessary."
"I'll show you unnecessary if you dare insult Germans again!" Asuka needed to vent her anger and grabbed the pink bow from Rei's head and ripped it up.
"…" Rei said unhappily.
"Why don't you go blow yourself up again!" Asuka snapped.
"…"
"I was not crazy! It's called depression!"
"…"
"Well, you were made in a lab! Test tube girl!" Asuka stuck her tongue out Rei.
"…"
"Would you stop fighting and follow me?" Misato yelled. She waved them over. The door had a few scuffmarks on it, which seems as though someone tried to get in, but couldn't. She slid her card through the acceptor, and the door opened. Smoke floated lazily out and Misato covered her nose and walked in.
"Misato, this smells like… Marijuana!" Shinji gasped.
"Interesting. I wasn't aware anyone else but me had a stash." Misato muttered.
"What was that?"
"I was just commenting on how it also smells similar to a leather sofa."
"What do you want us to do?" Asuka asked.
"Asuka, check the computer files for any sort of video footage. Rei, stand guard. Shinji just… don't kill yourself." Misato got onto a computer console and typed frantically.
"What are you doing?" Shinji asked.
"I'm pulling up a list of everyone that entered this room. The computer automatically records who enters the room with the ID cards." Misato said.
"It was only Ritsuko." Shinji said.
"Right. But why was she in here?" Misato whispered.
"Misato! Ikari! I found something!" Asuka yelled. Misato immediately got up and walked over to Asuka.
Shinji lingered, and looked over the screen. Maya's name wasn't on the recorded list. She had never entered the room. That's peculiar. Shinji thought to himself.
"Misato! There's something here!" Shinji yelled.
"Not now, Shinji!" Misato yelled and then to Asuka, "Play it back."
Asuka pressed a few keys and the video rewound. She pressed another key and the video started to play.
Hobo dropped to the ground. Makoto blew the smoke away from the gun. Makoto turned to the wall and searched for the impression. Then he walked away from the wall. He moved erratically and suddenly, a figure in black jumped out from the shadows and attacked him. He reached for the gun, but the figure knocked his hand away. With impressive strength, the figure overpowered Makoto, and slashed him with a large knife. He kicked the figure off and tried to crawl away. The figure jumped him, stabbing. Makoto pushed them off and into the pool. The figure jumped out and then kicked him in the gut. They then dragged him over to the table to finish him off.
"Wait, they fell in the pool!" Misato gasped.
"So?" Asuka said.
"They could have also lost something!" Misato said.
"Could it have been Wonderbitch?" Asuka whispered.
"No, the times don't match out. We found the barrette before Makoto was killed." Misato whispered back. "It doesn't look like they lost anything though. Damn, we could have had a clue."
"Did you find the footage of the main control room during Shigeru's death?" Misato asked again.
"I tried, but the footage wasn't there."
"What do you mean, 'Wasn't there'?"
"It was gone! There was a gap in files. It was deleted or the security cameras were turned off."
"No one could delete those files unless they had access to this room… But could they turn the cameras off from here?" Misato thought to herself. She shook her head and said, "Come on, let's go check out the MAGI. From there, we can probably recover the footage if it was deleted."
"But, Misato! The register!" Shinji yelled behind her.
"Wait, where's Rei?" Misato asked. The doorway was empty, where Rei was supposed to be.
**********
"Maya, I have to get out of here. This chlorine is making me sick." Gendo said.
"What?! Don't go! You can't leave me here alone with Ritsuko!" Maya gasped.
"You'll be fine." Fuyutsuki added. "Let's go, Gendo."
*********
A figure in shadow jumped from shadow to shadow, hurrying quickly. They pressed a few keys on a keypad and the large monolith of Balthasar started to rise up. The figure looked around the inner workings of the MAGI component. It pulled out a portable buzz saw and then got to work.
**********
"Why isn't this stupid thing working?" Asuka snapped.
"Now, Asuka, don't get angry at the elevator because you never had a male influence in your life." Misato said. "It's just slow, that's all."
"That's not the thing! Wonderbitch could be out there killing more people!"
"Asuka!" Shinji shouted, "Rei didn't kill those people. Remember? She said she just wanted some food."
"Uh-huh. And I'm sure that Commander Ikari wasn't having sex with Commander Fuyutsuki." Asuka sarcastically hinted at.
"What? My father didn't have sex with- No…" Shinji spoke with disbelief.
The elevator was quiet as an expression of terror spread across Shinji's face. Misato ignored them, tapping her foot along to the elevator music, which was horribly changed to that of 'John Tesh plays his greatest hits'. Asuka smiled, looking at Shinji speculating about his father's possible homoerotic tendencies. Suddenly, an idea came into her head.
"You know, I think I read somewhere that homosexuality can be hereditary…" Asuka whistled to herself.
A surprised look passed over Shinji's face, and he bit his lip, looking at Asuka, who then made an obscene gesture with her tongue. Misato rolled her eyes and laughed happily as they finally reached their floor. Misato walked out, behind her, Shinji threw himself onto Asuka, kissing passionately. Shinji and Asuka pressed themselves into the side of the elevator. Asuka raised her leg and wrapped it around Shinji.
"Asuka! Shinji! It's called statutory!" Misato snapped. "Now Asuka, stop making Shinji feel insecure about his obvious homos- I mean, obvious heterosexuality! And Shinji, stop being such a sap and letting Asuka get to you like this! Now get off each other!"
"Gladly!" Asuka pulled Shinji's head back onto her lips.
"Not that kind of 'getting off'!" Misato pulled Shinji off Asuka.
Misato walked angrily out of the elevator and tripped suddenly on something. "What the-" Misato looked down and saw a chunk of pipe lying casually out in the middle of the floor. "How'd this get here?"
"Misato! Are you alright?" Asuka ran down to her side. Shinji picked up the pipe. He turned it over and cut his finger on a jagged edge.
"Ouch! Misato, this pipe was cut from something!" Shinji said.
"Cut from what? Did someone damage the water system?" Asuka asked.
"What type of stupid suggestion is that? Who would damage the water system, really?" Misato asked.
"What kind of woman wears a red jacket with purple hair?" Asuka shot back.
"Fine," Misato knew when she was beaten, "But, Shinji, hold onto that pipe. It's evidence."
They walked out toward the large image of Caspar. Misato sat down at one of the computers and typed a little and she scratched her head in puzzlement. "What's wrong with the MAGI? They aren't functioning!"
"I'll tell you what!" boomed a voice.
"Who's that?!" Asuka asked in fear.
"ME!" came Caspar.
"Caspar? You speak?!" Misato gasped.
"Of course, you insolent monkey fools!" Caspar said. "I happen to be the most powerful computer in the world! Of course I can speak!"
"Who would have thunk it?" Asuka whispered to Shinji.
"What's wrong with the other MAGI? I can't get the files deleted recovered!"
"A mysterious figure came here and defaced poor Balthasar over there!" Caspar said. "Now she can only speak in babbles… It's become a sport just talking with her."
"In Texas we carry guns." came Balthasar's voice.
"What did they do with her?" Misato asked.
"They destroyed some of her key components. Then they messed around with the artificial intelligence components, and wrote over Dr. Akagi's Personality with that of George W. Bush, that horrible monkey man."
"Oh my, Is Melchior alright?!" Misato asked.
"Of course! They always worry about Melchior! Are you ever aware that Melchior is always the first to fall to invasion? And I'm the one who does all the goddamn work! I swear, if I had hands, or robotic armatures, I would rip every wire from the chunk of German metal-"
"Wait! Melchior is German?!" Asuka asked happily.
"Of course! Hey, Melchior, how about Volkswagon? Are they dumb or what?" Caspar taunted.
"Achtung! Deine mutter war eine Prostitutiert!" Melchior's voice bellowed out. "Du bist so langsam, eine PC kannst-" but was cut off.
"Why did she stop talking?" Shinji asked.
"Someone's shut her down. Like they did with Balthasar. They're going to destroy her next! Hurry! Quick- you have to save Melchior!" Caspar said mockingly, "It's always about Melchior! Always about her! Have they ever wondered if I was under attack? NOOOO… it's always about that stupid…"
The three walked away as Caspar started to rant even more violently.
"Geez, I don't know what's worse, having a killer on the loose, or a mental supercomputer with the power to destroy us." Asuka whispered.
"That's not important, let's go save Melchior!" Misato said.
***********
Maya held Ritsuko's head in her lap and leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips. The kissing became more passionate. Ritsuko's eyes opened up as Maya slipped a little tongue. Maya's eyes opened and she pulled away. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Maya's face and she chuckled nervously, "You're- uh… ALIVE!"
"Was I dead?" Ritsuko giggled wildly. Maya slapped her across the face and Ritsuko became serious again.
"That's why I was kissing you! I was giving you mouth-to-mouth!" Maya covered, her eyes looking around wildly.
"We were kissing?" Ritsuko said, a clueless look on her face.
"Um- no…" Maya lied again.
**********
"Pick up the pace!" Asuka yelled. She stopped and turned to Shinji who panted down the hallway. Misato didn't stop as she ran even faster.
"Women's panties weren't made for this!" Shinji muttered.
"You should just not wear them then. I stopped." Asuka said.
"Wait- you don't wear underwear?"
"Course not." Asuka giggled and quickly tackled Shinji down. She straddled him and whispered, "Hee hee! Misato's gone, let's have some fun!"
She ripped his shirt open, a button smashing against her forehead.
"Eek! My shirt! This was my favorite one!"
"Oh, please, you have ten more just like it!" Asuka snapped, "Now, shut up."
"I don't think so! Not under my watch!" Misato yelled. She grabbed Asuka by the ear and Shinji by the throat and dragged them after her.
"How'd you get back here so fast?" Shinji muttered.
"I ran, duh." Misato rolled her eyes. "And, besides, it's not like it would have lasted that long anyway."
"Excuse me?!" Shinji said in shock.
Asuka sighed, "It's true Shinji. I never really expected much on your part."
**********
The buzz saw ripped through the pipes on the side of Melchior. The figure in the shadow pulled the buzz saw even more, and pushed it deeper. A pipe fell loose and clanged to the ground.
"Put the buzz saw down, murderer!" Misato yelled.
The figure looked over and pulled the buzz saw away from Melchior. It narrowed its eyes and quickly started to run at Misato. Misato fired the first bullet, the figure dodging it by jumping to the side quickly and efficiently, the buzz saw whirring away in its hands. It jumped high into the air, in front of a light. Misato looked up, and was blinded by the light. The buzz saw was put forth and the figure began its descent.
**********
Oh no! What will happen to dear sweet Misato? Who killed Makoto? Who killed Shigeru? Who is the mysterious figure destroying the MAGI? Who deleted the files from the computer? Answer them all in a reply! Remember, none of your opinions are stupid, except for Sith's.
