Hola! Now to let you all know on some creative license I'm going to be using. Whenever you see a passage between these markings ' and ', that's a flashback, with a little deeper introspection involved in it. And Black Robed One, when you were comparing my story to those other ones, I had no clue about what you were talking about. I only know Chobits, Evangelion, and Love Hina, and Evangelion's the only one I actually take the time to care about. And when you mentioned 'Slayer', the only slayer I know of is Buffy, and the series finale was soooooooooo great! I loved it so much! She actually didn't die. However, my character equivalent on the show (Anya) did die. Actually, she died similar to Asuka… because she went down fighting and killing evil people, that just kept coming back, and also her death involved a little splitting of the torso. I say she's my equivalent because we're both feisty, sarcastic, somewhat cynical, not tactful at all, offensive some times, funny, and both extremely beautiful. Sorry, I've rambled. Here's the story.
NGE is prop. Of Gainax. Notice how it gets smaller everytime?
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"Hyah!" Asuka screamed and tossed a chair. The chair intercepted the figure in the air. The figure fell to the ground, the chair pinning them down. The buzz saw flew off to the side, falling harmlessly to the ground. Asuka helped Misato up and the three surrounded the masked figure.
"So, once we peel off this mask, we'll know who killed Shigeru and Makoto." Misato whispered. She leaned down and grabbed the top of the mask. She pulled. "Oh my God…"
***********
"Commander Ikari, where did you go off to?!" Maya shouted angrily, "There's a killer out there! And where's Commander Fuyutsuki?"
"The killer is closer than you think. The killer is Commander Fuyutsuki!" Gendo wheezed painfully. He limped over, showing Maya a gash in his arm. Maya squeaked and ran to his side, dropping Ritsuko's head on the floor.
"Did he hurt you?" Maya asked.
"Yes, he attacked me with a knife! I pushed him back and ran for my life! Hurry, let's blockade the door!" Gendo yelled. Maya picked up one of the pool chairs and ran to the door. She slipped it under the knob and then ran back to get another. While she was placing it under the knob, the doors started shaking.
"MAYA! Open the door!" Commander Fuyutsuki screamed. He threw himself against the doors. Maya watched him in terror through the windows. He covered his fist with his sleeve and punched through the glass, "Maya! Do not trust Gendo! He's going to try and kill you! Open the door! He's the killer!"
Maya stepped back in fear as Fuyutsuki struggled with the door knob, trying to open the door.
"What are you talking about? I thought you were the killer!" Maya said in puzzlement. Maya turned around looking for Gendo. He was gone, and so was Ritsuko! "Ritsuko? Gendo, where have you taken her?"
***********
"Pen-Pen?!" Misato gasped. The penguin gasped and broke down into tears. "But, why?"
"Some of my favorite hobbies are: killing trees, shooting democrats and liberals, and destroying things smaller and smarter than me. Among many species of animals on my 'destruction' list, I especially like killing penguins. !" Balthasar, or Bushthasar said.
"Shut it, Texas!" Misato snapped. She turned back to her penguin turned bad, "Why, Pen-Pen? Why?"
"Is it just me or is she having a conversation with a penguin?" Asuka whispered to Shinji.
"Yes. Maybe she understands him." Shinji replied.
"Damn, I can't understand him! Wait! Now I remember! I can only understand Pen-Pen's penguin speech when I'm massively drunk!" A light bulb appeared above Misato's head. She turned and shouted, "Bring me all the beer in the goddamn NERV complex!"
***********
"You know, Shinji, I-"
"Not the time, Asuka." Shinji whimpered under the weight of some fifty cans of beer in his arms. Asuka sighed and opened up the third refrigerator. She found some beer and started tossing it into Shinji's arms.
"It's just that, when we were interrogating Rei before, we never actually finished."
"That's right. She said something about wanting to go see Maya."
"But why?"
"Oh yeah!" Shinji remembered something, "Do you remember the security monitoring room?"
"Of course, I found a video clip of Misato drunk and naked at the Christmas party."
"Well, when I was in there, the register of who came into the security room was fairly interesting." Shinji muttered. "Maya said she found Ritsuko in there, but the register shows that she never actually entered the room with her key card!"
"So, someone else had to open the door, and she had to enter while the door was open! And since it was Ritsuko, Maya had to enter with her!"
"But, Maya was with Misat-"
"No, she wasn't! She left to get Gendo and Fuyutsuki! And she just happened to come across Ritsuko!"
"That doesn't make sense though. In order to actually find Ritsuko, she'd have to open the door."
"We're going in circles. If we're going to find out who actually killed all those people, we'll have to do it ourselves. But first, let's find the First." Asuka said. She shut the fridge, and knocked the beer from Shinji's arms. They both ran out. The shook-up beer cans splattered to the ground, and in a series of explosions, the room was covered in beer.
Misato walked in with a struggling Pen-Pen in her arms. Misato's eye widened. Her pupils shrunk. Her arms pulled away from Pen- Pen, and he fell into a pile of the empty beer cans. Misato's breath shortened. She screamed. Misato grabbed her chest.
"Oh my god- shooting pains! Please don't be a heart attack. No… No! NOOO!" Misato screamed. She fainted amongst the empty beer cans that littered the kitchenette floor. It was truly a horrible sight. Empty cans everywhere. Precious beer splayed against the dirty walls and floor. The refrigerators opened and all empty.
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"I wonder where Misato went." Shinji muttered to himself.
"She's probably off drinking some where." Asuka replied.
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"Welcome to Oktoberfest, Misato Katsuragi!" said a German man in a tight white shirt and shorts. He resembled every male model in the world combined into one man. He held a platter with five mugs of thick frothy beer. "See this authentic beer hall? All of it's for you!"
A wide smile appeared over Misato's face. Her eyes ran over the massive wooden barrels full of different brands of beer. Japanese beer, American beer, German beer… Suddenly, she looked over and saw a bunch of other men in tight white shirts and shorts all being sprayed by beer coming from a big hose.
"Oh my God, I've died, and it's heaven!" Misato whispered to herself. Misato jumped into the spray of the beer hose and suddenly her uniform was gone and she was wearing a bikini, dancing with the many guys in the beer.
Suddenly, the beer hall began to shake. The roof started to rumble and Misato looked up to watch it be peeled away.
"Eek! Shinji! Asuka!" Misato screamed. She looked up at the black sky with the giant forms of Shinji and Asuka looking down on her.
"MWA HA HA HA HA! HELLO MISATO! YOU DON'T NEED THESE MEN!" Asuka's voice boomed. Her voice was mutated due to her massive shape. Her massive hand came down and scooped up all the men. Asuka bellowed out deep laughs and squeezed her hand, crushing all of them.
"Nooo! The men!" Misato screamed.
"AND YOU DON'T NEED THIS BEER!" Shinji's voice boomed out. His hands slammed down, crushing all of the big barrels. The beer sprayed all over the floor and Shinji began to laugh, "MWA HA HA HA HA!"
"NOOOOOOO!!!!"
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"No… no…" Misato rolled over in the pool of beer, it lightly touching her lips and tongue. "Please, no Shinji… not the beer… No Asuka… spare the ones with the nice butts…"
Pen-Pen waddled over to her, a knife in its hand. It raised the knife up high, its beady eyes focusing on Misato's neck. Misato rocked slightly. The beer ran over Pen-Pen's webbed feet.
Suddenly, Misato's shot out and wrapped around Pen-Pen's throat. Pen-Pen waved the knife around wildly. Misato rocked slightly and Pen-Pen dropped his knife. Misato's fist clenched and Pen-Pen fell silent. There was a crack and Pen-Pen fell limp. Misato pulled his body in and clutched him like a doll.
**********
"What about the security footage for the actual security room?" Shinji asked. Asuka typed quickly and a new screen popped up. It showed Ritsuko walking confidently and without the influence. She pulled out her ID card and slid it through the acceptor. The door opened and Ritsuko was about to enter when she stopped. She turned around and smiled to Maya, who caught up with her. They talked for a second, then Ritsuko walked in and Maya walked in after her.
"Now, what about the actual security room." Shinji suggested.
"Umm… you mean, outside the security room?" Asuka replied.
"No, inside the security room." Shinji said agitatedly.
"Um… there's no camera in here." Asuka said.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! How come there's no security in the actual security room?!" Shinji snapped, "Dammit! Now what do we do?"
"Well, since we stole this access card from Makoto's body, let's see where else we can go." Asuka smiled evilly, flashing the access card.
"How about we go and check on Maya."
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"He- Hello?" Maya asked weakly. She held a flimsy metal pipe she had found in an utility closet. She edged against the wall in the dim lights that flickered on and off. "What the hell's with the wiring?" she swore in frustration. "I thought this was supposed to be the most advanced place in the world!"
Maya walked uncomfortably through the hall, jumping at every little sound. She held her locket in her hand saying, "I'm comin' Ritsuko! I'm comin!"
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"What happened here?" Asuka whispered.
"It looks like they tried to keep someone out, but they got in." Shinji said, analyzing the door set up.
"I hope Maya didn't get hurt. She still has that bracelet I loaned her." Asuka muttered. "Maybe she got away."
"…"
"Ah, so that's where you've been Rei!" Shinji said. "Maya got away?"
"…"
"So she did! Which way?" Asuka asked.
Rei pointed over to a ventilation shaft next to her. She waved them over and Asuka and Shinji climbed into the stands. The three climbed into the ventilation shaft, Rei first, Shinji second and Asuka last.
"You had better not look up Rei's dress. I am a jealous girl, you know!" Asuka hissed.
"And violent. And rough. And moody. And cra-"
"If you say, 'crazy', I'll kill you!" Asuka hissed.
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"Where did everyone go?" Misato muttered. She sat up and then realized that she was holding the dead body of Pen-Pen. "Damn it. I didn't interrogate him yet. And where are those little shits Shinji and Asuka?
"Whatever. I'll do it myself." Misato flipped her hair, "I know how to solve a mystery." She turned to the reading audience, "But do you?"
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Misato appeared in a scientist outfit. She fluffed the curl in her ponytail. She straightened her thick-framed glasses and pulled out a wooden pointer stick. The light clicked on and Misato smiled. She was standing in front of an overhead display. She smiled and waited patiently. She tapped her foot impatiently and finally shouted.
"Press the goddamn button, Shinji, you idiot!"
A whir and a snap. The slide machine turned on and Misato smiled as a picture of Misato smiling appeared on the overhead. The title read, 'A murder in review!'
"Okay, this is your friendly and voluptuous detective Misato Katsuragi here to let you all know about what's been going on in the story, and also a review of all clues found!"
Click! A picture of the Hello Kitty barrette.
"Ah, yes! This barrette belongs to Rei Ayanami, one of the suspects. It was found in the pool filter before the death of Makoto Hyuga, which we refer to as Victim #2. The barrette was also-"
"A crime against fashion!"
"Shut it, Asuka. Ahem, The barrette was also investigated. The barrette is Clue #1!
"Now onto the matter of the suspects!…
"Rei, is considered the number one suspect right now due to the fact that it was her barrette discovered at the sight of the pool, and water was in the control room and pool deck. However, Rei did admit to going into the control room, something the murderer wouldn't do. She also said that Shigeru wasn't in the control room either. Meaning he was killed after she was in there.
"Now, Shinji hasn't done anything truly suspicious… However, it's Shinji, the nimrod-"
"Hey!"
"It's true, Shinji, hunny. But, he's still a suspect.
"Now, Asuka has been with Shinji all the time, except for a period of time where she left him alone and went with Rei to the bathroom, but came back changed from her pajamas into a black outfit. The figure who attacked Makoto at the pool was dressed in black as well. However, Asuka's been with Shinji ever since she changed clothing.
"Now, Gendo and Fuyutsuki are both suspects. Both were hurt in the hallwa-"
"Misato! Quick! Snap back to reality!"
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"Whoa- what a weird fantasy trip." Misato thought to herself, "But I do look good in a lab coat and mini-skirt."
She stopped when she saw a hand sticking out from a door. It wasn't moving and blood was running out into the hallway. Misato groaned, "What is with the death trips?!"
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"Stop pinching me there, Asuka! Not now! We have to solve this mystery!" Shinji slapped her hand away.
"…"
"We're not moving too much! And besides, these ventilation shafts are fi- Shinji!" Asuka screamed. The ventilation panel fell out and Shinji fell through and into the room below.
"Ouch!" Shinji held his head in pain and looked up at the ventilation shaft. Asuka and Rei looked down.
"…"
"I'm fine Rei, but… what's with the room?"
Asuka dropped down, followed by Rei. They helped Shinji up and looked around. It was a dank room with dim lighting. Shinji picked up a pair of glasses. They were Makoto's.
"What are Makoto's glasses doing here?" Shinji asked.
"I know, who designed this room? A blind man?" Asuka stuck her tongue out at the décor.
"Not the room, but, why aren't they with him?"
"Now that I think of it…"
Misato kicked Makoto's body over and snapped her fingers. An expression of terror on his face. His glasses were gone.
"He wasn't wearing any glasses." Asuka said. "The killer must have taken them. Was Shigeru's body missing anything?"
"Now that I remember, his ID card was gone. That was odd." Shinji said.
"So, that's how the killer is getting everywhere."
"But if the killer works here, they would have an ID card already."
"…"
"That's right. That means they would have had to lose their ID card. Let's go to the staff offices. They'll have inventory records there."
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"Who would have guessed that Commander Fuyutsuki ordered a cheerleading outfit a month ago. Wow, it's almost in my size. A little bit small though." Asuka said looking over Fuyutsuki's file. Rei looked up from the file in her hands at Asuka. Asuka looked over to Rei, "Maybe you could wear it."
"…"
"You don't wear cheerleading outfits. Okay, I get it."
"I found something! Maya lost her ID card recently. She thinks it was stolen in the report."
"Why didn't she tell anyone about it?"
Rei shut the folder in her hands and looked around uncomfortably. They heard a bump.
"What was that?" Shinji whispered. The door to the room opened slightly and something was tossed inside. It landed with a clash.
"Something broke!" Asuka whispered. A sear of heat ripped past them.
"It's a Molotov cocktail!"
The computers and file cabinets went up in fire. They caught the ceiling on fire and a beam fell, blocking the way out. Asuka sighed and leaned back in her chair as fire started up behind her.
"Typical... trapped in a burning room. What now?"
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Oh no! Some questions still need to be answered! Who killed Makoto and Shigeru? Why was Pen-Pen sabotaging the MAGI? Why isn't MTV called STV? Sex Television Network? Who was that dead body? Where did Gendo and Ritsuko go? Is Fuyutsuki the killer? There are so many questions to be answered, I've forgotten all the answers!
