Ho-Ki-Oh!

Episode 2: The Smack is Thrown!

Okay, some more explanation. This story was originally made to make fun of my friends. but they liked it. so after writing over 70 pages of funny stuff, I decided to post it on Fanfiction. hehehe. So. umm. yeah.

A new character is introduced named Cory. He's a guy at my school who always wears a hat, and loves to play Yugioh, so he was perfect for the job of Pegasus! Also, the guy named Chris has billions of sweaters and always wears one. you'll see what I mean. hehehehe

At Butt Kingdom.

Someguy: Sir, our uncontested champion Cuong has been defeated by someone named Khoi.

Cory: Khoi?

Some guy: The gay guy.

Cory: OH!! KHOI!!

A week later at the game and ho shop.

Pimp: Damn it!! Ho!! Ya touched my damn deck!!! DIDN'T YA!!!

Khoi: Why do you have to call me ho? It's so demeaning.

Pimp: SHUT UP HO!!

Khoi: okay, master.

Pimp: Why'd ya have to defeat Cuong? I was goin' to bust him up the next time, foo!! Ya jacked up my plans, ho!!

Khoi: I'm sorry.

Suddenly, Joseph comes.

Joseph: YO!! HOMEES!!! What happ'nin'?

Khoi: Umm. Why are you talking like that?

Joseph: Oh, it be nothin' ho!

Khoi: Huh?

Joseph: Man! Don't be hatin' the playa'!!

Khoi: Oookay. No more trips to the glue factory for you.

Joseph: Man! I need some weed! Yo!!

Chris: Joseph is trying to be cool.

Joseph: What the hell boy!? Ya betta' recognize! Ya heard me.

Khoi: Of, course we heard you!

Pimp: Who the hell is this? Damn it Ho!!! Get your damn boyfriend off my property!! He be scaring away my business!!! Ya heard me!

Joseph: Oh! You don't be wanting none of this!!!

Khoi: Of course, he doesn't want any of that!! ::points to Joe::

A package mysteriously appears.

Everyone: Hey, look, a letter!!

Pimp: It be a glove and some stars.

Joseph: This is obviously a sign of some sort of eeevvvillll.

Chris: Why don't I get better lines?

Khoi: Hey, look, a videotape. I hope it's porn. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

(Joe note: Ugh.)

They're watching the videotape.

Cory: Hello, Khoi.

Khoi: DAMN IT!! THIS ISN'T PORN!!! ::turns off the VCR:: It's just some nerdy looking guy.

The T.V. mysteriously turns back on.

Cory: Umm. Let me start again. Hello, Khoi. I am Cory Yee.

Khoi: Hee hee hee. This must be the new Simpsons episode.

Cory: Umm. are you even watching?

Khoi: Yup, the new Simpsons episode.

Cory: No. I'm Cory.

Pimp: Damn!! He has a big head!!

Cory: Damn it!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!! I'll just send you all to the shadow realm!!!

Everyone except Khoi and Cory are frozen.

Khoi: AHH!!! HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!!! CURSE MY BIG SEXY BODY!!!

Cory: Damn it!! Listen to me!! As you know I am the creator of Butt monsters.

Khoi: Hee hee. Butt. Hee hee.

Cory: .umm.. Any ways, I have reliable information that you possess the millenium braces.

Khoi: The who in the what now?

Cory: Don't play dumb with me!!

Khoi: Hee hee. Dump. Hee hee.

Cory: I said dumb!!! Give me those braces!!! ::grabs Khoi's teeth::

Khoi: ::with cory's hands in his mouth:: Cool, this new digital picture really brings the movie to life!

Cory: ::gives up:: Now, I shall go into a very unnecessary explanation of the millenium items. There are seven millenium items, they are.

Khoi: This is the boring part, where's the fast forward button.

Cory: DAMN IT!! THIS ISN'T A VIDEOTAPE!!!

Khoi: ::gasp:: Then that means.

Cory: yes, I am.

Khoi: a DVD.

Cory: NOOOO!!!! ::sigh:: The millenium items are, the millenium hat ::points to his hat::, the millenium braces ::points to Khoi's braces::, the millenium sweater, the millenium toilet seat, the millenium chocolate, the millenium glasses, and the millenium pants.

Khoi: . the who in the what now?

Cory: Whoever obtains all the millenium items will have absolute power. absolute power. Now, where did you get your braces?

Khoi: Ancient Egypt. No, just kidding, I just woke up one day and found that I had braces. I figured it was the act of teenagers. Damn teenagers. I hate them so much.

Joseph: Yeah. teenagers. right.

Cory: ahem.

Joseph: Oh, right! ::goes back to being frozen::

Khoi: Umm. so what do you want?

Cory: I want your millenium braces.

Khoi: Now?

Cory: Yes! NOW!!

Khoi: Well, I can't take them off.

Cory: DAMN IT!!! I'LL JUST TAKE THE SOUL OF YOUR PIMP!!! UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THOSE BRACES!!!

Khoi: Go ahead. I don't care.

Cory: Uhh. Then, I'll take the soul of. JOSEPH!!!

Khoi: So what?

Cory: Who do you care about?

Khoi: How 'bout that Tifa? She's so hot. ::starts drooling::

Cory: .right. I'll take the soul of. CHRIS!!!

Khoi: Who's Chris?

Cory points to Chris.

Khoi: Who the hell is that?

Cory: Ugh!!! Just come to doo doo kingdom!!! So I can win your millenium braces!!!

Khoi: What do I get?

Cory: YOU!! You get nothing!!! I'm going to take the soul of your pet hamster!!!

Khoi: No!!! Not Mr. Mittens!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

Cory: Uhh. no.

Khoi: THEN I MUST!! FOR MY GRANDPA!!! I MEAN MY PIMP!!! I MEAN MY HAMSTER!!! YEAH!!!

Cory: Okay, bye.

Khoi: See ya.

Joseph: Hi, everybody!!

Khoi: No, time for you!!! ::throws Joseph into a trash can and runs off to make his deck::

Khoi: Mr. PIMP!!!! I NEED SOME CARDS!!!

Pimp: You have money? Foo?

Khoi: Umm. After I win at Doo doo kingdom. I will pay you half the prize money.

Pimp: And what else? I'm a very lonely man. ::winks at Khoi::

Khoi: Ugh!

Pimp: NO!!! Arrange a date for me with someone. good-looking. not fat. HO!!

Suddenly.

Chris: Hmm. the millenium braces. So that's where they were. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ha !! ha!!

Everyone's staring at Chris.

Chris: Umm. look a monkey!!

Khoi: WHERE? GET IT OFF ME!!

Joseph: Umm. Khoi. there is no monkey.

Somewhere. else.

Chris: I shall be the only one to possess the millenium braces! I will be unstoppable!!! No one will be able to stop me!!!

Little kid: Umm. Mister. Can you get off the swings?

Chris: You dare to talk to your master!!! I'll make you a boiling pile of flesh!! You impotent monkey!!!

Little kid: ::starts to cry:: MOMMY!!!

A woman comes and starts hitting Chris with her purse.

Mom: YOU SICK PERVERTED CHILD MOLESTOR!!

Chris: ::screams like a girl and runs away::

Mom: COME BACK HERE!!!

Chris: ::turns back into the regular Chris:: What happened?

Mom: I'm going to beat you harder than a drum!!

Chris: AHH!!! RUN AWAY!!!

Back at Mr. Pimp's shop.

Khoi: Ooh, this card is so hot.

Joseph: You know Khoi, you have to use duel monster cards in the tournament. Butt monster cards will be illegal.

Khoi: Oh, we got permission to use duel monsters in this story?

Joseph: Umm. yeah, permission. Right.

Khoi: THEN I'LL ATTACK WITH LARVAE MOTH!!

Joseph: Umm. how about La Jinn?

Khoi: Don't question my ways!!! Or I'll take a trip to the glue factory!! And you don't get to come!!

Pimp: What glue factory? What ya talkin' 'bout?

A week later on the boat.

Sercurity Guard: Name?

Khoi: Khoi Ho!

Sercurity Guard: Excuse me?

Khoi: Khoi Ho.

Sercurity Guard: ::starts laughing:: Okay, Mr. Ho!! I get the joke! I say Khoi Ho!!! But it sounds like Cool I'm a Ho!!! Who sent you? Bob?

Khoi: Right. ::backs away slowly into the boat::

In the boat.

Khoi: Wow! These are a whole lot of duelists.

Dooist: What? We're dooists. This is a butt monsters competition.

Khoi: What? But my friend told me that this was a duel monsters competition.

Joseph: And you actually listened! Idiot!! And now!! You don't have your deck to doo with.

Khoi: But why Joseph? Why?

Joseph: Because I am also in this competition!!

Khoi: ::gasps:: That means you cheated!! Good thing I accidentally brought my Butt monsters deck instead of my duel deck!

Joseph: What!!?? ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU BROUGHT THE WRONG DECK WHICH IS REALLY THE RIGHT ONE, BUT WOULD BE THE WRONG DECK IF THIS WAS A DUEL MONSTERS TOURNAMENT?!!!

Khoi: .the who in the what now?

Joseph: Never mind. ::walks away::

Suddenly the regional champion comes.

Flyguy: Ahh. You must be Khoi.

Khoi: Who are you?

Flyguy: I am Flyguy, the regional champ.

Khoi: Right.

Flyguy: So, you're the one who beat Cuong.

Khoi: Who's Cuong?

Flyguy: ::changes the subject:: Look at all these losers, making last minute trades. Only the serious dooists bring their deck fully prepared.

Khoi: You're very ugly.

Flyguy: Umm. what does that have to do with anything?

Khoi: .the who in the what now?

Flyguy: Anyways, there will be all new rules on the island.

Khoi: Are there any hot girls on the island?

Flyguy: Umm. no.

Khoi: Oh. you want to trade cards?

Flyguy: Didn't you listen to anything I just said?!!

Khoi: Man. you're mean.

Flyguy: DAMN IT!!! YOU'RE THE STUPIDEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET!!!!

Khoi: ::starts crying:: YOU'RE SO MEAN!! ::runs away::

(Joe note: This is getting boring and stupid. I think I'm just going to fit as many cuss words in this next line as possible.)

Khoi: Nobody fucking wants to trade me shit. Damn fuckin' shit. I have some fuckin' good shit. Why won't anybody fuckin' trade damn shit with me?

(Joe note: This hallmark moment brought to you by bad parenting.)

Shady Figure: Hey, man. You want to trade? I got some good stuff.

Khoi: Hmm. let me see your cards.

Shady Figure: I'll trade you the Dark Bootician Girl for your Ancient Ass.

Khoi: ::starts drooling:: that card's so hot. I'll definitely trade my ass for it.

Shady Figure: Done. By the way. Have you heard about the new rules?

Khoi: No.

Shady Figure: Word has it that the loser of a duel has to give up their rarest card.

Khoi: Aww.. I'm going to lose all my cards. Dang. ::looks at the Dark Bootician Girl:: Umm. I have to go to the bathroom. ::runs away::

In the corner of the boat.

Chris: Go ahead, Khoi. Run. Run as fast as you can, but you can't outrun me. I will have your millenium braces and then I'll send your soul to the shadow realm. It is there where you will be tortured into oblivion. No one can survive. All will fall before me. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

An old lady throws a boot at Chris.

Old lady: Shut up!!! Ya crazy sicko!!!

Chris: YOU DARE DISRESPECT ME!? I WILL SEND YOUR SOUL TO THE SHADOW REALM!!! IT IS THERE WHERE YOU WILL BE TORTURED BY TELETUBBIES AND BE FORCED TO FOREVER WATCH RICHARD SIMMONS DO STRETCHES!!

Old Lady: Right. and now I'm goin' to kick your ass!!

Chris: I am not scared of you!! ::runs away::

At Butt kingdom.

Someguy: Mr. Cory, sir. Why are you going through all of this? Why not just challenge Khoi one on one?

Cory: Because I'm going to kill two crackheads with one bullet. I'm using this competition to lure out the three god cards.

Someguy: You mean?

Cory: Yes, I will obtain all of them.

Someguy: Stupid, lazy bastard. Mixing the two stories together.

Cory: What did you say?!

Someguy: Umm. didn't you hide the god cards?

Cory: Oh, yeah. Well, then, this tournament is going to lure out the millenium items!!!!

Back with Khoi.

Khoi: Hmm. I wonder what the new rules will be?

Flyguy: ::pops out of nowhere:: I'll tell you.

Khoi: umm. okay.

Flyguy: But first let me see Exodiass!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Khoi: You're not going to throw them into the ocean. are you?

Flyguy: No... Of course not.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Khoi: Oh, then, okay.

Flyguy: Ah.. So these are the cards used to summon Exodiass. Say goodbye to Exodiass!!!! ::makes a throwing motion::

Khoi: Can you wait until I hand you the cards?

Flyguy: Oh. Sorry. ::gets the cards from Khoi:: Ah. so these are the cards used to summon Exodiass. For a long time, I've been trying to. Ah!! Screw it!!! ::throws the cards into the ocean::

Khoi: NOOOO!!! ::the cards are falling down really slowly like feathers:: NOOOOO!!! ::still falling:: NOOOOOO!!!! ::gone:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Flyguy: Ha!!

Khoi: That's it!!! ::turns on Flyguy::

Flyguy: Ha! What can you do about it?!! Exodiass is gone!!

Ten minutes later.

Flyguy: HELP ME!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!

Khoi: And don't come back until you get all the cards back!!!

Flyguy: But I can't swim!!!! ::goes under and doesn't come back up::

Khoi: .ohh. Let me never speak of this again.

Joseph: You're stupid.

Khoi: HURRY!!! JOSEPH!!! JUMP IN THERE AND SAVE MY CARDS!!!

Joseph: Nah. ::walks away::

Khoi: Somebody save me!!!! I don't care how you do it!!! Just save me!!!

At doo doo kingdom.

Cory: I welcome you all!!!! Good bye!!!

Khoi: Okay.

Khoi is wandering around in the forest.

Khoi: I got to find someone to duel.

There is some rustling in the bushes.

Khoi: ::in a girly voice:: Ahhh!!! Who's there?! Ahhhh!!! Curse my big sexy body!!!

A person comes out of the bushes.

?: I want to doo.

Khoi: Do me!! Ahh!!!

?: NO!! I want to doo you in doo monsters.

Khoi: Ahhh!!!!

?: Dope!!! Let's just duel!!!

Khoi: Wait a minute? You're. you're.

?: Yes, but now it's time to doo!!!

To be continued. Who is the mysterious dooist? Is Joseph really ga. I mean evil? And is Chris evil? And will Chris ever get better lines?!! Tune in for the next gay episode of Ho-ki-oh!!

Joe note: My life is sad. And for reading this, your life is sad too. The deal me and Khoi had to give him a nude shower scene with someone was immediately closed, when he found out that it was going to be Hollywood Hulk Hogan.