A/N: Ice and I have never ever, ever, ever, I repeat EVER, played Final
Fantasy; so if you don't like it, stop reading it. Besides, the sol
purpose of writing this fic was for our dear friend Sammy- Chan (blame
her, nah, don't)'s X-Mas present. Characters may be severely out of line
(acting oddly) so note this, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Anything you want to
say Ice? A/N #2: oooooooooooooo and dear old Sammy? BOB SAYS MERRRRRRRRRY
XMAASSSSSSS!!!!!!! ... Yeah ... so our fic is basically a figment of our
imagination.... and ... yah. We, being ice and jocko, personally think
that Seifer has a pole up his ass and that he deserves to be tortured. Oh
yeah everyone? WE DO NOT OWN ANYONE IN THIS FIC.... at least not yet ...
so.... yeah! As good ol' Sammy Chan use to say... ON with the fan
fiction... I still don't get that!!
P.S: Please Review. (We feel like a common author saying that, but still,
DO IT!)
8 SOBER NIGHTS It was Christmas and everyone was still singing that annoying song "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with all the twisted lyrics. God, didn't these people have a life? Yeah, sure, they could have been singing the twisted version of "Joy to the World", but still, all this merriment was pissing Seifer off. Just when he thought his day wouldn't get any better, who should happen to walk down the hall but Squall in all his 5"8' glory without Rinoa. Seifer almost had to look twice and make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Rinoa wasn't there!
"Hey, puberty boy, where's your girlfriend? Did she run off with someone else with more experience than you?" Seifer teased.
Squall looked up at the person who had ruined his train of thoughts. It was a pretty good train because it was pretty damn close to reaching its destination, but no, some asshole had to put a cluster of dynamite in the tracks! He wasn't surprised when he met the taunting eyes of Seifer Almasy.
"Now that's pathetic, taking out your loneliness on other people who don't share your pain. Tsk, tsk." Squall shot back.
" Ya ya go fuck yourself."
"I don't have to, I have Rinoa!"
Before Seifer could reply, Squall skipped, Yes SKIPPED, out of the hall. He didn't have much time to shout something after Squall because the intercom immediately blared through the hall.
"SEIFER ALMASY PLEASE REPORT TO THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!" The secretary blared in a monotone voice for all to hear.
Everyone in the hall turned around and shouted, "Oooooooooohhhhhhh!"
"Shut up" Seifer growled.
Silently in his head he asked himself " Shit! What the fuck did I do?? " He racked his brain trying to find out what the hic of a headmaster could possibly want with him, all the way to Cid's office.
He knocked on the door . KNOCK KNOCK ( a/n: didn't expect that one did ya??). Almasy heard a grunt that sounded like 'come in' so he assumed that he could.
"Uh, sir?" Seifer asked as he poked his head in through the door jamb.
" Ah, Seifer! So good to see you! What can I help you with?" The headmaster asked as if he had absolutely no idea as to why Seifer was there, and really, he didn't.
"Um. I was told you wanted to speak with me ." he said as he thought, "If this is one of Squall's jokes..."
"Oh RIGHT! Yes yes, come in, come in, please make yourself at home " And Cid gave him a healthy two thumbs up.
'What the fuck is he on???' Seifer thought as he said, "Alright sir ".
"So, Seifer . you know how the students are permitted to have Christmas parties in their dorms for the eight nights before Christmas?"
" Yes." He responded thinking, 'What the fuck is he getting to?'
" Well you know how we always end up having an endless pit of empty anythings that could contain alcohol?" Cid continued
'Yes . " he said saying to himself, "Half of them are mine' but what he actually said " REALLY? Who would've thought??"
Obviously the headmaster hadn't the slightest clue that Seifer was a mean drunk. "I know! That's why this year, the faculty of Garden have decided that we will have a designated student attend each party and keep things in more or less in order, while of course being inconspicuous." Cid said eagerly as he unveiled his master plan.
'Ohhhhhhh no. He doesn't want me to do what I think he wants me to do. Please say no!" Seifer thought as his palms began to perspire due to a nervous habit.
The headmaster was waiting for his reply, but by judging on the blank expression on Seifer's face he decided to help him out.
"We want YOU, the PERFECT student, to be THE designated student to supervise the parties."
'AAAwwwww shit. Why me? Fuck.' Seifer thought. " Sure thing sir! When do I start!" He said with fake enthusiasm.
"I knew I was right in choosing you! Such an enthusiastic student! Alright, so, starting tomorrow, every day at noon, I want you to come down to my office and I'll brief you on the upcoming party that night."
"Yes sir. Glad I can help regulate the outrageous consumption of alcohol! But sir, if I may ask, how am I supposed to do this?" At this point, Almasy was terrified of what the headmaster might say next. "He better not say, 'find and destroy their supply of alcohol' because sober students are terrifying if you manage to get on their bad side and Hell, I might never live this down. It's going to ruin my career as a drunkard." Seifer thought. He sincerely hoped that Cid had not yet managed to master telepathy because right now, his thoughts were bad enough to get him expelled from Garden. But hey, what was so great about this place anyways?
"Well, Seifer, I want you to watch for any suspicious vehicles that are abnormally large and have any ads that advertise an alcoholic company like 'Molson Dry' or 'Blue Dry' and confiscate it. Then, you will bring the alcohol to me. and I will personally. dispose of them.myself" Cid explained.
What Seifer didn't know was that the headmaster was tired of looking for anything remotely alcoholic in all of Garden and finding out that there wasn't even a single drop left of the weakest alcohol.
Cid had made a vow to please both the faculty and himself. This year, he was going to get a massive hangover to make up for the past years. He wasn't only going to drown his sorrows of being lonely, but he was finally going to be rid of the complains from the faculty and the surrounding area about the insane noise level and the students not going to class the next day due to severe hangovers.
Seifer wasn't a happy camper either. Not only was he not going to get any booze, but the headmaster was probably going to send perfectly good beer back to the company or he was going to drink it all by himself. The selfish bastard!
"Yes sir. May I be excused sir?" Seifer asked. If he wasn't going to get any alcohol this holiday, he was going to drink all that he could now and hopefully make it through the rest of the season without resembling a girl in PMS.
"Huh, oh sure. You may be excused Seifer." Cid was brought back to reality by Seifer's desire to leave. It must have only meant one thing: Seifer was going to get severely drunk. He sure wasn't going to allow that, now was he? "Oh, and Seifer?"
"Yes sir?" Seifer turned around.
"You have to stay sober."
"What! You have to be shitting me! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Seifer thought. He was so upset that he nearly went into shock. "Yes sir. Merry Christmas sir."
A/N: (Part 2or is it 3? Oh well!) (Ice:) YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY the end of the first chapter of our first fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now . the rules are... REVIEW OR DIE!!!!!! (Jocko:) Ice. Tsk Tsk (Ice:) . Ok .Ok . The rules are . REVIEW OR WE WILL SEND LEPRECHANS TO SODOMIZE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!!! (Jocko:) ICE! Behave yourself!!! (Ice:) Fine! Be that way jocko! .... Review if you want to . We won't kill you or send leprechauns to sodomize you in your sleep if you don't review . But SAMMY?? (Jocko:). Uh Ice? (Ice:) Yeah Jocko? (Jocko:) She won't reply . uh . she can't hear you dude. (Ice:) riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhttttttt. Well sammy? We expect YOU to review at least. (Jocko:) are you done dude? (Ice:) I think so dude.
(Jocko :) . thank god. OK review faster and we will post chapters faster . yes you heard me .we ALREADY have other chappies done, we just gotta post em' (Ice :) LATERS PPL!!!!!!!
8 SOBER NIGHTS It was Christmas and everyone was still singing that annoying song "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with all the twisted lyrics. God, didn't these people have a life? Yeah, sure, they could have been singing the twisted version of "Joy to the World", but still, all this merriment was pissing Seifer off. Just when he thought his day wouldn't get any better, who should happen to walk down the hall but Squall in all his 5"8' glory without Rinoa. Seifer almost had to look twice and make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Rinoa wasn't there!
"Hey, puberty boy, where's your girlfriend? Did she run off with someone else with more experience than you?" Seifer teased.
Squall looked up at the person who had ruined his train of thoughts. It was a pretty good train because it was pretty damn close to reaching its destination, but no, some asshole had to put a cluster of dynamite in the tracks! He wasn't surprised when he met the taunting eyes of Seifer Almasy.
"Now that's pathetic, taking out your loneliness on other people who don't share your pain. Tsk, tsk." Squall shot back.
" Ya ya go fuck yourself."
"I don't have to, I have Rinoa!"
Before Seifer could reply, Squall skipped, Yes SKIPPED, out of the hall. He didn't have much time to shout something after Squall because the intercom immediately blared through the hall.
"SEIFER ALMASY PLEASE REPORT TO THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!" The secretary blared in a monotone voice for all to hear.
Everyone in the hall turned around and shouted, "Oooooooooohhhhhhh!"
"Shut up" Seifer growled.
Silently in his head he asked himself " Shit! What the fuck did I do?? " He racked his brain trying to find out what the hic of a headmaster could possibly want with him, all the way to Cid's office.
He knocked on the door . KNOCK KNOCK ( a/n: didn't expect that one did ya??). Almasy heard a grunt that sounded like 'come in' so he assumed that he could.
"Uh, sir?" Seifer asked as he poked his head in through the door jamb.
" Ah, Seifer! So good to see you! What can I help you with?" The headmaster asked as if he had absolutely no idea as to why Seifer was there, and really, he didn't.
"Um. I was told you wanted to speak with me ." he said as he thought, "If this is one of Squall's jokes..."
"Oh RIGHT! Yes yes, come in, come in, please make yourself at home " And Cid gave him a healthy two thumbs up.
'What the fuck is he on???' Seifer thought as he said, "Alright sir ".
"So, Seifer . you know how the students are permitted to have Christmas parties in their dorms for the eight nights before Christmas?"
" Yes." He responded thinking, 'What the fuck is he getting to?'
" Well you know how we always end up having an endless pit of empty anythings that could contain alcohol?" Cid continued
'Yes . " he said saying to himself, "Half of them are mine' but what he actually said " REALLY? Who would've thought??"
Obviously the headmaster hadn't the slightest clue that Seifer was a mean drunk. "I know! That's why this year, the faculty of Garden have decided that we will have a designated student attend each party and keep things in more or less in order, while of course being inconspicuous." Cid said eagerly as he unveiled his master plan.
'Ohhhhhhh no. He doesn't want me to do what I think he wants me to do. Please say no!" Seifer thought as his palms began to perspire due to a nervous habit.
The headmaster was waiting for his reply, but by judging on the blank expression on Seifer's face he decided to help him out.
"We want YOU, the PERFECT student, to be THE designated student to supervise the parties."
'AAAwwwww shit. Why me? Fuck.' Seifer thought. " Sure thing sir! When do I start!" He said with fake enthusiasm.
"I knew I was right in choosing you! Such an enthusiastic student! Alright, so, starting tomorrow, every day at noon, I want you to come down to my office and I'll brief you on the upcoming party that night."
"Yes sir. Glad I can help regulate the outrageous consumption of alcohol! But sir, if I may ask, how am I supposed to do this?" At this point, Almasy was terrified of what the headmaster might say next. "He better not say, 'find and destroy their supply of alcohol' because sober students are terrifying if you manage to get on their bad side and Hell, I might never live this down. It's going to ruin my career as a drunkard." Seifer thought. He sincerely hoped that Cid had not yet managed to master telepathy because right now, his thoughts were bad enough to get him expelled from Garden. But hey, what was so great about this place anyways?
"Well, Seifer, I want you to watch for any suspicious vehicles that are abnormally large and have any ads that advertise an alcoholic company like 'Molson Dry' or 'Blue Dry' and confiscate it. Then, you will bring the alcohol to me. and I will personally. dispose of them.myself" Cid explained.
What Seifer didn't know was that the headmaster was tired of looking for anything remotely alcoholic in all of Garden and finding out that there wasn't even a single drop left of the weakest alcohol.
Cid had made a vow to please both the faculty and himself. This year, he was going to get a massive hangover to make up for the past years. He wasn't only going to drown his sorrows of being lonely, but he was finally going to be rid of the complains from the faculty and the surrounding area about the insane noise level and the students not going to class the next day due to severe hangovers.
Seifer wasn't a happy camper either. Not only was he not going to get any booze, but the headmaster was probably going to send perfectly good beer back to the company or he was going to drink it all by himself. The selfish bastard!
"Yes sir. May I be excused sir?" Seifer asked. If he wasn't going to get any alcohol this holiday, he was going to drink all that he could now and hopefully make it through the rest of the season without resembling a girl in PMS.
"Huh, oh sure. You may be excused Seifer." Cid was brought back to reality by Seifer's desire to leave. It must have only meant one thing: Seifer was going to get severely drunk. He sure wasn't going to allow that, now was he? "Oh, and Seifer?"
"Yes sir?" Seifer turned around.
"You have to stay sober."
"What! You have to be shitting me! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Seifer thought. He was so upset that he nearly went into shock. "Yes sir. Merry Christmas sir."
A/N: (Part 2or is it 3? Oh well!) (Ice:) YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY the end of the first chapter of our first fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now . the rules are... REVIEW OR DIE!!!!!! (Jocko:) Ice. Tsk Tsk (Ice:) . Ok .Ok . The rules are . REVIEW OR WE WILL SEND LEPRECHANS TO SODOMIZE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!!! (Jocko:) ICE! Behave yourself!!! (Ice:) Fine! Be that way jocko! .... Review if you want to . We won't kill you or send leprechauns to sodomize you in your sleep if you don't review . But SAMMY?? (Jocko:). Uh Ice? (Ice:) Yeah Jocko? (Jocko:) She won't reply . uh . she can't hear you dude. (Ice:) riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhttttttt. Well sammy? We expect YOU to review at least. (Jocko:) are you done dude? (Ice:) I think so dude.
(Jocko :) . thank god. OK review faster and we will post chapters faster . yes you heard me .we ALREADY have other chappies done, we just gotta post em' (Ice :) LATERS PPL!!!!!!!
