CHAPTER 2: A Little Talk of Tears

Angel:

I saw Buffy with tears in her eyes and my heart went out to her I wanted to say something, but what? What was I suppose to say? 'Hi it' s me, Angel, I know that you hate me with a fiery vengeance, but I was in the neighborhood and I am coming to see you. Ya that will go over well, but here it goes I will say something comforting and sweet… at least I'll try! Hear we go:

"Buffy are you okay?" I asked in a small whisper.

"Angel? Is that you?" she said pulling the pink robe tighter, trying to straighten her hair plus her face.

"Buffy, you don't have to what you call ' beautiful' for me, I already think you are; just stay the way you are."

Blushing as she looks down at her nails and starts to pick at the pink nail polish on them, "So what are you doing here anyways?"

"Hello, to you too, Buffy," I said sarcastically somewhat hurt by her words. What was she not happy to see something or me?

"I'm sorry it's just a shock to see you here," she said I kind of felt disappointed and looked down trying not to make eye contact, "But you know what? I pretty happy you are here."

"I know what you mean, I usually wouldn't come because of our 'agreement', but I heard about the Spike ordeal, and I didn't really think that we should've left things the way they were before when I met you after you a…"

"Died?" she finished for me.

"Yes, but your back now and I didn't want to leave things so bad."

"Thanks, I mean thank you Angel, but that' s not why you're here, I can tell."

"How? What do you mean? How do you know?" I asked back.

"First of all you're a bad liar, you always have been, and two, I can see the sadness in your eyes. Don't lie to me I am here to help you whenever you need me, do you here me? Don't lie, I can handle it, I promise, just tell me, and please come in and sit with me." She motioned me to the seat next to her on the bed in her room.

I sat down on the bed next to her and she almost winced in pain. "Did I hurt you?"

"No I moved my wrist wrong when you sat and I think I sprained it, don't worry I'll be fine. Back to your story, please I want to know what is wrong," She said with a wince.

"Wait let me see it and see how bad it is, please I won't hurt you." She hesitated to give me her left wrist and when she finally gave it to me fully I notice why she was so hesitant, she was wearing the Claddagh ring that I had given her so many years ago. I think she was embarrassed, but it touched me that she still wore it. I put myself back in reality and looked at her wrist, "It's not a sprain it looks like you just twisted it, but you should put a bandage on that I can get one for you if they are still in the bathroom."  I asked her as I got up and off the bed.        

"Yeah, same place." She said holding her wrist.

"Okay, be right back." She was wearing the ring. The ring I had taken off as soon as I thought I had fallen in love with Cordelia. Does this mean she doesn't have a boyfriend? Does this mean she still loves me? If she does still love me and is wearing her ring, well that means I have betrayed my own wife! Buffy still loves me! Maybe she does remember that night five years ago! How could I love Cordelia or rather should I say think I love Cordelia when I love Buffy, I mean I always have loved her. And I knew even if I were with Cordy she would still be the first women in my life, and she always will be.

I looked for the bandages for her wrist and grabbed them. I breathed deeply before I stepped out of the bathroom and sat back down on the bed, but her ring was in the way I would have to tell her to take it off. "Um… Buffy you have to take the ring off so that I can put the wrap on your wrist."

She nodded and took it off placing it on the night side table in a small wooden box that when she opened it laid the cross that I have given her all those years ago. She looked back at me waiting for me to put the wrap on. I did and placed her wrist on her lap and she sat back on the bed.

"Maybe, I should change into my pajamas before we talk, would that be okay with you?" she said questioningly.

"Of course, I'll turn around for you," I said shyly.

***

Buffy:

"Thanks Angel," I said remembering the day that I told him he could look as I changed and he told me that I was a goddess, I wish it were so this time. I wonder what he thought when he saw my ring. It made me feel stupid because he was obviously not wearing his and he is the one that gave it to me. I had no idea what he was thinking right now. Man that would be a good time for that mind reading thing. Oh that's right, I can't read his mind! Not funny here!

After I changed into my silk white pajama shorts and matching button up top, I sat back down next to Angel on my bed. " Okay Angel, what's up, I'm here for you."

"Umm… I don't exactly know how to say this Buffy…."

Oh my goodness what is he trying to say to me? Is he hurt? Is he going to die? Is he going to become human? Thoughts of joy and sadness ran through my head and I became anxious and nervous for him, but I had to be here for him. "Angel, you know that you can tell me anything," I coed as calmly as I possibly could try to comfort him in the best way.

"Well…okay…I'm saying just don't interrupt or I won't be able to finish, alright?" he asked me looking in my eyes for an answer.

By this time I was truly worried because his eyes showed so much pain, but I answered, "Of course anything for you Angel. "

He looked at me with a great worry in his eyes and I became so concerned that I put my hand on top of his and he took my hand and I sat on my bed criss-cross style, holding the love of my life's hand, and waiting for him to tell me what's wrong. In some peoples mind this would mean a second chance, but I knew that that wasn't the case. Something was wrong like it always was. It would never be happily ever after, and we both knew it, but it seemed like something else was wrong this time I could feel it. It seemed like he was so distant and far away.

He started, "I'm really ashamed of what I have been feeling for the past year, I've fallen in love with Cordelia." He paused looking at me for a slight second and continued, but I did not listen I just looked at him. I could see how much he had been hurt by look on my face because it was emotionless. Until a single tear slid down my face and he reached out for me.

"Don't YOU dare touch me Angel? You have no right to touch me!" I moved away from him and sat on the chair next to the vanity.

"Buffy… I know your upset..."

I cut him off, "I'm not upset, I am shattered, ANGEL! I think about you day and night even when I was with Spike or even Riley I…"

He interrupted me, "That's the point you were with two other people and now that I am with one you can't be happy for me, that I fell in love. That's all I ever wanted for you to be so why can't you just be happy for me?"

"WHY? I can't believe you are asking me this! As I was saying before- even when I was with them I wished it was you, BUT you didn't want me and I thought maybe when you became human that there would be a chance for you and me. But you falling in love have proven to me that I am going to be miserable for the rest of my life! Because I have only loved one man in my whole life and that's you, neither Riley nor Spike! It was always you I never loved them. Then you me tell that you and Cordelia are in love! Just get out!" I flailed at him.

"No, this is so not my fault Buffy. You can 't blame all your problems in our break-up on me!"

"What are you talking about? YOU are the one who left me! YOU are the one that told me that you didn't want to be with me! But I wanted to be with you! Because I loved, love you! You didn't care and I've been shattered one too many times. This now just tops it off! Get out if you are just here to hurt me."

He grabbed me by the arm, "How can you say that I never loved you! I gave up my life for you, I was human and just so you would live I gave it up!"

"What the hell are you talking about, ANGEL? You were never human!"

"I… I umm…" he stuttered.

"What Angel? What are you saying? Are you saying that you were human I didn't know about it and you gave up you 'life' for me?" I asked sarcastically and just stared at him.

He just stared at me. What the hell was he talking about? Did he know that I was kidding? "So what is the answer Angel," I screamed.

"Yes, Buffy, is that what you wanted to hear? Did you want to hear that it is all about you? I mean I try moving on and I can't, that is why I came here to make amends. BUT apparently you can't deal with that, so when you are mature enough to talk to me like real adult I'll be in L.A."

"Well, maybe you can just get Cordelia to talk to you and then maybe you'll like that,"

"Sounds like a good idea…." And he walked away slowly from me and got out the window.

"You know I was hoping that you still loved me, Angel, because I do, but know I don't know if I can forgive you. I just have one thing to say I never loved anyone, but you. And I am honored to say that you were once mine, and you gave your life for me," I sobbed out.

***

Angel:

I heard her sobs and her words, I wanted to take her in my arms and stop her crying. But then I would be giving in to her. My pride won over, and I did not turn around afraid I would make it worse. " I love you," I whispered under my breath, unknowing if she heard or not.

"I love you, I always will," I heard her say and I walked away with a tear falling down my cold face. 

Thanks for reading again and thanks to the reviewers it means a lot to me. If you have any suggestions you can e-mail or review.

.:ColiCakes:.