A/N: Just a brief note to thank everyone who's reviewed. I really love this story, and it's nice to know that y'all do, too. :)
Chapter 3 - In
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The next couple of months were pretty uneventful in Original Cindy's life. Beers were drunk at Crash, girls came and went just as quickly, and Max, thankfully, managed to stay out of trouble.
Didn't mean that fate didn't like to stir things up a little.
"I'm leaving work early today."
OC blinked, not entirely certain that the words she'd heard matched with the voice that produced them. She looked around the corner, and, sure enough, it was Normal speaking to a completely flustered Peabo. Not that she could blame the stunned bike messenger or anything. Days like this only came when the world ended…or when she got laid by a tripod.
Meaning she had to immediately go inform everyone, who was as surprised as she was…with the exception of Max, that is.
"Why is it guys are all so task-oriented? I mean, it's work, work, work, work, work," Max said, looking mildly irritated at the thought.
Original Cindy quickly did a double take at her friend. Seemed that Max had something on her mind. Only OC didn't have enough time to think about that, because Sketchy gave her a new thought.
"'Cuz otherwise, all we'd think about is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex," he replied smartly. Then his eyes brightened as a thought flitted behind them. "Maybe Normal's got a date."
The images that flooded into Cindy's mind just about caused her to black out. "Now that's just a bizarre thought. Normal…getting busy with someone." But a quick look at Normal grooming in the mirror proved too much to resist, and she recruited Max to check it out with her.
They only had to get within a few feet of Normal to smell what Herbal Thought had smelled. And it wasn't Lysol. "You look nice today," Original Cindy commented innocently.
"Thank you," Normal replied coolly.
"Going to a funeral?" Max asked.
"No."
Original Cindy looked over at Max as she sniffed loudly. "Lilac," Max confirmed, proving that she was capable of sniffing out more than trouble.
OC continued with the interrogation. "So how come you're all macked out like a playa playa?"
Normal glared at the two messengers. "The reason it's called a personal life is because it's personal." He handed Max a package and shooed her away.
But as they walked away from the desk, they couldn't help with one last nudge at the grumpy man. "Booty call," they nodded in unison.
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Large, skinny, short, tall. Brown eyed, green eyed, blue eyed, red eyed. Green, with purple hair, and fangs… Original Cindy desperately tried to shake the thoughts out of her head. She couldn't imagine what kind of chick Normal was kicking it with. Nor did she want to. But some sick, diseased part of her brain couldn't help but try to imagine what creature would want…ew.
She'd hoped hanging with Max at Crash that evening would be able to take her mind off of Normal and his love life, but homegirl had an agenda of her own, which apparently involved the elimination of the male species. That in itself didn't bother Cindy too much; it'd open up some of the dating pool for her. However, it did bother her that apparently some man had given Max some trouble. And Original Cindy only needed one guess who.
"I don't understand women who need a man to make themselves feel complete," Max groused.
"Put the bullet right here," Original Cindy agreed, hoping a distraction would come along quickly. As much as she loved her friend, there were times Max tried to drive her to drink… more.
Kendra arrived just then with a couple of guys, providing OC with a convenient distraction. Especially since one of the guys was apparently for Max. But then another distraction appeared on the televisions in the bar.
"Do not attempt to adjust your set…" the familiar voice of Eyes Only boomed out through the speakers.
One more man in the room was too much for Max, it seemed, who made her excuses and left.
"Bye, Mac," Sven called after her.
OC rolled her eyes. Kendra could sure pick winners.
Pink hair, yellow eyes, her mind dreamt.
You shut up, she told herself, taking a thick swallow of beer, not looking forward to the evening's company of Kendra and her neckless wonders.
Unfortunately, her mind ignored her, thinking up more and more bizarre combinations for Normal and his Lady/Lord/Lapdog Love. It got to where it became difficult to even think, well, normal thoughts. It sure didn't help that Normal's friend Jorge came into Jam Pony the next day and began talking to him about his "young lady friend…beautiful female companion."
At least it ruled out Lord and Lapdog.
"It is hurting on my brain, trying to figure out who on earth would go out with Normal," Cindy said at the end of Max's man lament to Sketchy.
"There are a lot of freaks out there," Sketchy agreed, obviously experienced in that role. "So, who's coming with me on this run?"
She and Max just stared at him.
Panic flared up in Sketchy's eyes, as he pleaded with them. "Well, come on, guys! Clemson Street is deep in Rydin Forties turf."
"So?"
"So there's permanent gang wars going on down there. Please?"
Original Cindy held back her grin as Max rolled her eyes. "You are such a wuss. Let's go," Max said, as she and Sketchy turned and left.
And you are such a badass, OC thought, just as Normal approached her with a package.
"I have a run. 4711 Kings Road," he told her reverently.
Like usual, OC brushed him off. "I'm on break," she said stiffly, fully expecting him to give her hell for it.
"Well, whenever you get the chance," Normal amended.
Original Cindy spun and practically gaped at him. The surprises just keep coming, don't they? "You okay?" she asked, truly concerned.
Normal wiped off the top of the package and handed it over. "It's a personal run, so be nice," he directed before walking away.
Cindy barely managed to get out the door of Jam Pony before her curiosity began to kick in full gear. I've got it in my hands, the answers to everything…well, to my most burning question, at least.
But even she had some lines that she wouldn't cross. She had been born with some sense of honor, and morality. And that's beyond even my realm, she thought to herself as she reached Kings Road, looking longingly at the package.
It sat on her palms so innocently, begging to be opened. Really.
Open me, the package pleaded.
"I…I can't," Original Cindy told it.
Sure you can, the package replied. I have a convenient tab on one end for opening. Just pull in the direction of the arrow…
"I can't," she repeated.
You know you want to, it cajoled.
"I do want to," she admitted.
Then do it. I won't tell, the package said, smiling a packagey smile.
Original Cindy grasped one corner, ready to rip it open, but stopped. "I can't do it. Not like this." She looked around, and spotted her bike where she'd parked it. She walked over to it. "But, if I was riding along, minding my own, and dropped it, and it got caught in the chains…" She bent down and tore the edge off using the well-worn gears. "And then the wheel was spinning so fast that it just spun around and flew off…" She shook the package hard and the purse dropped out of the inside. "And a car came along and gently ran it over, opening it," she decided, opening the snap. "And a toothless dog grabbed it up and softly shook everything out." She dumped the contents on the ground.
Looking around at the scattered materials, she widened her eyes innocently. "Oh, dear me! Look what happened here! What a mess. I must clean it up." She dropped to her knees and began to sort through the mess. The first thing that caught her eye was a prescription bottle. A druggie? she thought, picking it up and turning it so she could read the label. Premarin. A stupid druggie. All that is, is…estrogen. An idea dawned, and she looked around at the part of Kings Road she was on. There were many women milling around this area, several of whom were oddly tall and muscular for women.
Cindy grinned as she looked around for the driver's license. This is too good to be true, she thought, picking up the small square card, reading the name. Oh, shit…
Five minutes later, all the contents were replaced, and she was staring eagerly at the door in front of her. "Let's see if you can get past the patented Original Dangle Detector…Louise," she murmured as she heard footsteps approach the door. It swung open, and there stood Louise…
…clad only in a towel.
Cindy felt her jaw hit dirt as she couldn't help but scan the woman(!) from head to toe, checking to see if anything was out of place. There was most definitely nothing out of place…and a couple of things in just the right place.
"Oh, my purse!" Louise squealed happily, reaching out and pulling the purse from Cindy's hands, letting her pale skin gently brush the darker skin that held it.
Cindy swallowed and smiled. "Uh…Nor—Mr. Ronald asked me to bring this to you, Lou— Louise."
Louise smiled charmingly. "Be sure to give him my thanks." She fluttered her eyelashes, before turning and shutting the door.
Original Cindy couldn't help but stare at the door for another few seconds. Her last view of Louise was certainly a nice one. One that she'd have to share with a few of her closest friends…
…who of course were shocked and appalled that Original Cindy had crossed the line into Louise's purse. "That's like an invasion of privacy," Sketchy, of all people, said in disbelief.
"Crossing the line, if you ask me," Max agreed.
Cindy sighed to herself. I didn't ask you. But if it'll get your head out of those clouds, I'll ask again. She shot both Sketchy and Max a pointed look. "You want to know what I found out or what?" At their united confirmation, she began to lay out the facts for them. Of course, a few definitions had to be supplied for the three-legged among them.
"Estrogen, basically. Yeah? So?" Max told Sketchy in reply to his query about Premarin.
And here comes the grand finale. "Then Original Cindy finds Louise Klein's driver's license. Only it says that Louise Klein is Louis Klein."
The looks on Max and Sketchy's faces were priceless. Sketchy said it best. "Normal's chick is a dude?!"
Max tried to defend Louise. "Come on, maybe she's got a brother or something."
Original Cindy shook her head, somewhat surprised that Max seemed to be the one missing the mark here. She would have expected it of Sketchy, although he was one of those people willing to believe nearly anything. "No, girl. The part of Kings Road where she lives is very gender-friendly. It's where all the mista sistas reside. The lesbian mind could get seriously tampered with in that neighborhood."
"This and a human finger, all in the same day. It's deep," Sketchy said in awe.
"For real," Max agreed.
OC eyed the pair quickly, and saw that they were serious. She continued on laying out the line for them, just hoping Max hadn't gone and gotten herself in trouble. Again. "For real, for sure. Louise comes to the door wearing a towel, right out of the shower. I'm clocking her for nose hair, Adam's apple, miscellaneous male debris, but the bitch is fine. Even got back." And what a back she got.
She laughed as Sketchy pointed out that it would be the "entertainment
spectacle of a lifetime" when Normal found out his special friend was
missing her special friend. It would be a show worth the wait.
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The next day couldn't come soon enough for Original Cindy. She was dying to talk to Normal, and see if he knew what was up… or wouldn't be up. But as Normal half-heartedly called out a hot run, she had the vague feeling that something hadn't gone well. "Speaking of hot runs, was that your sugar I delivered to on Kings Road yesterday?" she questioned, trying to lead him into a conversation.
Normal looked up at her, and she was surprised to see a dejected look in his eyes. "I said it's a hot run. Now, beat it."
Cindy's heart thumped at the look, and she took pity on him. "Hold on. Talk to me, Normal. Original Cindy understands the human heart."
Strangely enough, Normal decided to open up to her. "Well, we had a moment…or so I thought, and, uh…it passed."
Cindy knew that look well enough. She had worn that look several times herself. It was the look of a broken heart. "You liked her, huh?"
"Yeah."
"What happened, if I'm not out of line asking?" She was actually beginning to feel a little bad about the situation, considering she knew what was coming.
Normal paused briefly before saying, "Oh, it's just different interests, you know. I enjoy the company of women, and…apparently, so does she."
OC's eyes widened as she realized what he meant. "I feel you."
Normal sighed. "Actually, she asked me to, uh…give you her number. She found you 'alluring'…I think was the word."
She slowly took the piece of paper that Normal offered her. The small part of her that wasn't revolted was mildly flattered. But she smacked that part back right quick, and she got defensive on Normal's behalf, the first and last time she promised herself that would happen. "This bitch is getting you to pimp for her?"
"I am in the messenger business," he replied with a straight face.
So the man has some streak of humanity in him after all, she thought. She then offered a small branch of hope to him. "The right one's out there for you somewhere, Normal."
"Yeah. Well, I shouldn't be pouring out my heart on company time. You better get going," Normal replied stolidly.
She walked off towards her bike, and was quickly joined by Sketchy. "So?" he asked eagerly.
She looked at the paper, mildly confused about the whole chain of events of the past few days. "Damn. Normal just gave me that half-a-heifer's phone number."
Sketchy, somehow, considered that a good thing. "Well, you going to call her?"
Original Cindy glared at him. "Mm-mm. 'Cause when you get right down to it, Original Cindy's just too damn straight to kick it with a science-fiction girlfriend." She crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it on the ground. Even though that small flattered part of her was begging her to go back and pick it up, she continued to walk away, knowing she had done the right thing.
Her mind remained in turmoil throughout the afternoon, but snapped back into place that evening as she saw Max walk into Crash with that rare, brilliant smile on her face. "Well, well, well, don't you look like the cat that ate the canary," OC teased.
Max's smile faltered briefly, but quickly snapped back into place. "This cat finally got her pasta," she said happily.
Original Cindy took in the sparkling eyes and the slightly flushed skin, and nodded knowingly. "Pasta? Is that what the lingo for that is these days?"
Max's brow wrinkled in confusion, and then her eyes widened as she suddenly realized where her friend's train of thought had derailed. "OC!" she hissed, glancing around, praying no one she knew had heard.
Cindy laughed, a deep, throaty sound. "Don't worry, suga. I won't tell anyone. Besides, I'm glad you and Logan kissed and made up. You lose your looks wearing a frown 24/7."
Max glared at her. "We did not kiss."
"Made up at least," Original Cindy clarified, shrugging. "Right?"
Max gratefully took the beer that the bartender slid over to her. She was quiet for a moment before finally agreeing, "Right."
Uh oh. Trouble in paradise? "You okay, boo? You come in here looking all like sunshine and lollipops, and suddenly your old grey clouds are creeping back in."
Max sipped her beer, and shrugged. "I don't know, Cin. Something's doggin' me."
OC rolled her eyes. "Don't you go playin' that game again."
"Huh?" Max said, confused.
"Look, I understand more than you think. You may have this 'need for trouble' but that don't mean you have to go rollin' in it. You've had two good months. Now you tell me you going to go bounce back in it?" Original Cindy tried to glare at Max to get her point across, but the distant look in Max's eyes made her realize that this was something serious.
"I don't try to get in trouble. I actually thought I could get out. Managed it for a few days. But it keeps dragging me back in," she said, almost sorrowfully.
Original Cindy wasn't really sure how to reply to that. The Max she was seeing right now seemed such a far cry from the happy Max who had walked in, and even farther from the woman in a picture on her refrigerator. Words began to form, but she wasn't sure from where, or if they were even hers. "You know, it can only drag you in if you let it. But, if it looks that way, if you take it on first, and give it your all, then it doesn't get you, does it? You get it instead."
Max pondered that for a few seconds and then grinned. "How many beers you have before I get here?"
Laughing loudly, Cindy draped one arm around her friend's shoulders. "Enough to make me all philosophic-like."
Max chuckled along with her. "I kinda like this side of you."
"As long as you promise to at least try to keep that pretty head of yours out of the thick of things, I'll try to play Plato more often," Cindy offered.
"Deal."
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Chapter 4 - Seeing Red
Coming August 27
