Chapter 4 The reluctant fiancées.

Kari glared at her brother on their way to school the next day. "Would you quit it? How was I to know that no one told her?"

Taki glared right back at her. "It wasn't your place to say anything anyway! It was none of your business Kari."

"You're pushing it Narutaki." Kari said in a low voice. "My family will always be my business. But if you don't want that, fine. I'll see you at school!" Kari finished and turning headed onto the school grounds.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where Furinkan High is?" Turning Taki faced his brand new fiancee. "Oh, it's you." Mika said annoyed. "Then this is the right place."

Taki's hopes for a peaceful engagement flew out the window. "Yeah. Look, I'm sorry about my sister blurting everything out like that, we've tried to teach her tact but the lessons never seemed to take."

Mika flipped her hair back. "I like your sister. SHE at least is honest. Says what's on her mind and is sincere. Unlike my parents apparently." Mika growled under her breath. She took a deep breath and looked up at Taki. "I guess it's not your fault our parents are jerks."

Taki's eyes narrowed at her assessment. "Oh thank you so much."

Mika turned to him. "What was that for?"

"Never mind. I'd heard your Dad was dense when he was younger, looks like it was inherited."

"You take that back!" Mika said moving into a stance.

"I will not!" Taki said stubbornly. "And the only girl I fight is my sister. 'Cause she's the only one who'll be able to handle it." Growling Mika turned and stalked into the school. Taki watched her go and then deflated. "Oh, way to go man. First piss off you sister, then alienate the girl you're forced to marry. Real good." Shaking his head he made his way into the school.

"Mika! Hey you'll be in our classroom so I can show you the way." Kari said as she ran over to her. "I wanted to ask, you're not mad at me or anything are you? Mom's always telling me to think before I speak, I guess I'm a lot like my Dad. And he's always putting his foot in it."

Mika smiling at the other girl. "Nah, I'm not mad at you. My parents, yes, you, no. Your brother on the other hand…"

Kari rolled her eyes. "What did he do this time?"

Mika sniffed. "He called me dense."

Kari choked on a laugh. "Um, well he's dead." The two walked down the hallway. "Anyway I'm kind of glad you don't like Taki right now. All the girls here just seem to go gaga over him, it's disgusting. I really don't understand it."

"Well, he's really cute, if you go for that sort of thing." Mika pointed out.

"I guess. It's hard for me to see it. Now my Dad, there's a cute guy." Kari said grinning. "And your dad's no slouch either."

Mika giggled. "That's what Mom tells him." Both girls laughed.

"Hey wanna come over today? We can have a sparring session." Kari said hopefully.

"Sure. I've never really found a good one outside the family and I'm so used to them it probably doesn't help."

"Great!" Kari said brightly. By the end of the day Mika was the new favorite among the male population, seeing as Kari was engaged. Being Ryoga's daughter she was oblivious. The two spent the day ignoring Taki.

"Hey Tacchi!" Kari called waving. "That's my cousin Takewaki Kuno, but everyone calls him Tacchi." Kari explained to Mika. "He's great, anything you want he can get. But beware, he charges an arm and a leg and man can he blackmail."

Mika looked over at the guy curiously. "You know Mom used to tell us stories about living in Nerima, they were really weird."

Kari sighed. "Yeah that's us all right. But you get used to it. It can be really fun too. Just last year, Dad let us come along when he defeated the Master of Martial Arts Poetry."

"Martial arts poetry?" Mika asked in disbelief.

"Yep. He thought Mom would be good inspiration. Uncle Kuno got really excited about that one. But Aunt Nabiki refused to allow him to come."

"Ok, I'm starting to think that Mom and Dad didn't make up the stories they told us." Mika said swallowing. "And all this stuff always seems to center on you guys?"

"Well, yeah. Hasn't this kind of thing ever happened to you?"

"Well there was that time that I ended up in New York last year, and the time that I accidentally won the strongest under the heavens contest...and my Dad and I did spend Christmas in New Zealand." Mika said thoughtfully.

"Wow, you've been everywhere! That's so cool! Do you speak lots of languages too?"

"A little. I know Chinese because I've been there so much, and English. Russian's not so bad I guess…"

"Teach me!" Kari said excitedly. "I really want to learn before that bubble-headed amazon dude shows up."

"What are you talking about?" Mika said confused.

"It's a long story, but basically my Grandfather's an idiot." Kari said sighing. She proceeded to explain how her father came to be engaged to three girls, one of which was Mika's mom and how their parents worked around it. When Kari finished Mika was hopping mad.

"I don't believe this! Mom was in love with Uncle Ranma? And Dad was in love with Aunt Akane? I'm engaged because Mom can't let go of a childhood infatuation? They are so dead!" Mika said pacing.

"Hey calm down!" Kari said. "It's not like they planned this you know. Things happen. And if you'd like you can hit my grandfather, it's really all his fault anyway."

Mika turned and looked at Kari. She started to laugh and sat down. "I guess you're right. So you're Dad really turns into a girl?"

"This from a girl who's Dad is a pig?" Kari asked. Mika laughed and Kari joined her.

Taki watched them sullenly from across the yard. Tacchi sat down next to him. "Well you lucked out that's for sure. She's cute."

"If you say so. Directionally challenged nitwit." Taki muttered.

"Well this is a really good sign! Your parents were insulting each other from the start too." Tacchi said slapping his cousin on the back.

"Tacchi, you know I love you. SO PLEASE, GO AWAY!" Taki shouted and stomped off.

Tacchi smiled. Anyone seeing it would have gotten a sudden chill, it was very much like his mother's when she saw a great opportunity. "Oh this is perfect. I just love my life!" Whistling happily he went off to start new rumors and innuendo. Hey, family's great, but this was yen.

Mousse adjusted his glasses for the fifth time today and sighed. 'Now where could Si Cwan gone off to? Too bad Cologne had to teach him so much so fast. It makes this much more difficult.' He smiled to himself. "At least she taught them all to me first. Never thought that old ghoul would condone my relationship with Shampoo…Ow!" Mousse looked around oddly as him felt the slap across his head and swallowed. "He he, sorry about that honorable elder Cologne. You don't think you could, maybe help me find my son?" The breeze seemed to sigh heavily and there was a break in the clouds overhead and a beam of sunlight highlighted a patch of forest. "Thank you Great Grandmother." Unfortunately, this being the Ranmaverse the sky suddenly opened and drenched him.

Mu-Mu-Chan glared at the sky and after storing his clothes in his pack flew off toward the forest.

Young Si Cwan, eldest child of Xian Fu honorable leader of the amazons, took pride in the fact that his father had not yet found him. True his father was blinder than a bat, but he was still an expert tracker. Regardless he would never return and marry that foreign girl they wanted to foster on him. Some weak little Japanese thing that would kowtow down to him, he scowled. 'I am the strongest and most talented of all the tribe! If not for my mother's decree I would be married to any of the village girls by now.' Grumbling, he never noticed his father grab the kettle and change back. Within minutes, Mousse had his son wrapped in his standard chains and gagged.

"Well son, you led a merry chase but enough is enough, your fiancee is waiting for you."

"Mmph, Mmph!" Si Cwan tried through the gag as he thrashed, resembling a worm inching away.

"I wouldn't try that I had these made special. Not even Ryoga could break them, besides you'll like Japan." Mousse said as he hefted his son over his shoulder. Si Cwan's eyes bugged out and seemed to say 'Help me!'

Meanwhile back on the mainland. Mei-Lin and Shampoo watched the sparring match between Kari and Mika. Kari was quicker, but Mika had Habiki endurance and strength.

"Girl is good." Shampoo said. Mei-Lin nodded.

"Alright, break!" Akane said from the doorway, holding a tray. "I brought some lemonade. You two must be thirsty."

"Thanks Mom." Kari said smiling as she bounced over to her. Mika watched her warily.

"Thank you Sao-Auntie Akane." Mika corrected at Akane's look.

"No problem. Shampoo, there's an inspector to see you about the restaurant." Shampoo smiled at the girls and followed Akane out.

"Kari, were you easing up on me?" Mika asked.

"No, why?" Kari said puzzled.

"Well I didn't think so, but you were getting tried when your mom came in, and suddenly you weren't."

"Oh, that. It's Dad's genes; everyone always says that if you give a Saotome a break it will cost you. We can recover from almost anything fairly quickly. When I broke my leg six years ago it healed in a week." Kari said shrugging as she stretched.

"Is true, Saotomes are very re-si-lent." Mei-Lin said carefully.

"You're getting better." Kari said smiling at the girl. "Pretty soon you'll speak Japanese like a native. Those brats still bothering you?"

"No, they stop when I challenge to fight." Mei-Lin said stiffly.

Mika looked over at the Chinese girl. "Were people making fun of you because of the way you talk?"

"Hai." Mei-Lin said even more stiffly.

Mika's eyes narrowed. "I hate that. If you have any more problems, tell Keiichi or me. He's in your class so he can help you."

"Amazons no need help." Mika said proudly.

"But having it never hurts." Kari said calmly. "Let's go take a bath."

"Tomorrow, is my turn to spar?" Mei-Lin asked.

Kari smiled and slung an arm around her shoulder. "Sure thing kiddo. We'll have a three way fight, unless you want Taki to get involved."

Mika glared. "NO! Uh, why not ask Keiichi? He's really good."

Kari looked over. "He got a problem with fighting girls?"

Mika grinned. "Oh no, Mom cured that pretty quickly. He likes her battle spatula so he had her teach him. Me, I prefer Dad's umbrella."

"Ya, that things cool." Kari said.

Mei-Lin nodded. "Ryoga is very strong." Both girls looked at her curiously. "He visit village very often. No sense of direction."

Mika laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her head.

Mousse dropped his still bound son and adjusted his glasses, turning he smiled at the beast standing next to him. "Thanks again, Panty-uh Awesome Taro." Mousse said nervously. The beast glared and nodded as he took off. Mousse shook his head, "I still can't believe he actually chose to be called that. Well come on son you have a fiancee to meet."

Si Cwan wiggled again to no avail as Mousse slung him over his shoulder and walked toward the Tendo dojo.

"Oh my darling Mei-Lin!" Mousse cried hugging her. "I've missed you so much!" From his perspective on the ground Si Cwan rolled his eyes and tried to talk. "Mumph, MUMPH!"

Keiichi sighed heavily. 'Why me?' "Um excuse me, I think you have the wrong person."

Mousse frowned and adjusted his glasses again. "You're not my daughter."

"No. You must be Mousse. I'm Keiichi, Mei-Lin's inside." Keiichi said. "Is there a reason that that guys tied up?"

Mousse glanced back. "Oh yes, Si Cwan's just being stubborn. Shampoo!" Mousse cried. Shampoo poked her head out. "Mousse! What take you so long?"

Mousse ran forward crying. "Oh Shampoo! I missed you so much!" Shampoo let him hug her for a second before she punched him.

"Shampoo is very busy. But Shampoo very glad Mousse bring back son." Shampoo pushed past him and ran into the yard. "Si Cwan!" Shampoo untied her son and glomped him. "Shampoo very angry. It no right for you to run away! Kari is good catch." Shampoo scolded. Just then Mei-Lin came flying out and grabbed onto her father.

"Poppa! I've missed you so much! IS everything okay? Si Cwan wasn't too much trouble was he? Did you know I'm in school here?" Mei-Lin chatted as she hugged her father.

"Ah, Mei-Lin I missed you too, now slow down. Don't you want to say hello to your brother?" Mousse asked. Mei-Lin sighed and released her father. She stalked over to her brother.

"Hello Si Cwan. Mei-I happy that you're safe. Even if you're an utter brat." Mei-Lin said grudgingly.

Si Cwan glared at her. "Oh I'm a brat now? You didn't think so when you covered my escape." Mei-Lin glared and blushed. "I'm out of here." Standing he turned to take off when Shampoo knocked him unconscious with her bonbori.

"Si Cwan need lesson, he no sense that. As for you, you in very big trouble." Shampoo said glaring at her daughter. Mei-Lin groaned and hung her head.

Akane glanced outside. "Is everything settled now? Oh what happened to him?"

Shampoo glared at her fallen son. "He disobeyed mother."

"Well drag him in and put him on the couch. Mika and Kari are still sparring." Akane sighed. "It's good to see you again Mousse."

"You as well Akane Saotome." Mousse said bowing. "Come on Mei-Lin."

"You too Keiichi." Akane said smiling.

Taki leaned over the back of the couch. "So this is the guy Kari's supposed to marry?"

"That's what Mommy said." Yui said. Kia climbed up beside them.

"Kari's getting married?" Kia asked. Taki ruffled his hair. "Don't worry not for awhile yet."

Akane shook her head. "Leave the boy alone guys, he's had a hard day. Come on, meet your uncle Mousse." Yui and Kia scrambled down and into the kitchen. "You too, Taki."

"In a minute Mom." Taki said. "I think he's waking up."

"Ow." Si Cwan said sitting up. "Where am I?"

Taki grinned. "You're in the Tendo Dojo, Narutaki Saotome at your service."

Dinner was a segregated affair, Mika was still not talking to Taki and Kari had never wanted to talk to Si Cwan anyway. Mei-Lin sided with Kari and Kari sided with Mika.

"Son want more ramen?" Shampoo asked.

"I'd love some Shampoo." Mousse said smiling. Shampoo sighed and absently whapped him.

"Shampoo not ask you. But here." She said handing him a bowl. "Now Mei-Lin how was school?"

Si Cwan looked up. "You put Mei-Lin in school? Why? It's not like we're staying!"

Shampoo glared at her son. "Who say that? Shampoo miss Japan. It much more exciting then home."

"We're staying?" Si Cwan asked hotly. "Great! I'm stuck in this weakling country."

Ranma grinned sardonically. "Sure about that huh? Yui could probably take you."

Mei-Lin sighed. "Brother getting himself in very deep."

"Serves him right." Kari mumbled.

"WHERE THE HELL AM I?" A voiced cried outside. Akane stood up and looked out.

"Oh, Ryoga! Come on in, we've just finished dinner. Did Ukyo send you over for the kids?"

"Akane! No I was going for milk. Are Mika and Keiichi there?"

Mika bounded outside. "Daddy!" She cried hugging him tightly. "Where'd you end up this time?"

"Oh, uh not too far away."

Keiichi sighed inside and turning to the others said. "Dad's been gone for a week. I better go tell mom, let her know he's back."

Ranma moved out onto the porch by his wife. "Hey Ryoga, wanna spar? I got some kinks I'd like to work out."

Ryoga grinned. "Sure."

Mousse stood up. "I believe I shall join them."

Shampoo sighed as she picked up plates. "If Mousse get hurt, Shampoo not coddling."

Akane glared at the retreating backs. "Men! He did that just to get out of helping do the dishes. And where do you think you are going?" Akane said grabbing the collars of Taki and Yui's shirts.

"Uh, just going to watch them spar, Mom." Taki said.

"I don't think so. YOU'RE helping with the dishes. You too Kari, Kia. Mika, you, Mei-Lin and Si Cwan are free to watch some TV or spar in the yard."

"No is not. Mei-Lin help too." Shampoo said firmly. "She being punished."

"I'll help too, Auntie Akane." Mika said smiling.

"Si Cwan, go keep eye on father. He no match for Ranma, and dead husband is no use to Shampoo."

"Alright then, Kari you take him out back. Mika why don't you go with them? We really have all the help we need." Akane said smiling at her.

"Okay then, if you're sure." Mika said. "This match ought to be good!"

"Please can I go Mom?" Taki pleaded. Akane tilted her head considering. "Oh, alright, but tomorrow YOU are in charge of clean up."

"Deal!" Taki said grinning. He ran to catch up to the other three. He found them arguing over who'd win.

"Humph. You're father's have no chance. Mousse may be blind but he's still the finest male fighter in our tribe, beyond myself."

Kari rolled her eyes. "Like that means much. Besides Dad used to beat the two of them up on a daily basis."

Mika frowned. "I hate to say this Kari, but Daddy is the strongest guy in the world, there's no way Uncle Ranma can match him."

"Don't underestimate Dad." Taki said coming up. "He always seems to come out on top."

The four tabled their conversation as they entered the dojo. The three men were stretching preparing for the match. The kids sat on some mats pushed against one wall. Kari pulled out popcorn and handed some to Mika.

"Ready?" Ranma said grinning. "Man it's been forever since we've gotten together."

"Always ready to pound you Ranma." Ryoga answered. "I still haven't forgiven you."

"I am perfectly prepared to alienate you as well." Mousse added. "Rules?"

"No double teaming, that wouldn't be fair. This is a free for all. No chi attacks or highly destructive ones. I already have high insurance premiums. Remember this is just a friendly little match." Ranma replied.

The other two looked at each other, turned to Ranma and as one said, "Like hell it is!" and attacked.

Kari watched the fight avidly and kept up a running commentary to Mika. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt. Watch out Dad! I didn't know Mousse knew that. Wow Uncle Ryoga's gotten faster." She winced at a particularly brutal strike. "I don't think it was suppose to bend that way. NOT THE WALL! Mom's gonna kill them!"

Si Cwan watched the fight in utter shock. "That's not possible!"

"You're right. Dad's way too slow tonight. His classes probably ran over again." Taki said dispassionately. "I also think the week long trip home put Ryoga down a little."

"But my Father is the master of hidden weapons! One of our greatest warriors! No outsider should defeat him!"

Taki gave the guy an odd look. "Are you serious? You can't really believe that? Man, didn't your parents tell you anything about us?"

"What was to know?" Si Cwan sniffed.

Taki laughed and grinned sardonically. "Are you in for a shock."

"What are you talking about?"

Taki shook his head. "Nope. That would be no fun, you'll just have to find out the hard way. Or ask Tacchi Kuno."

"Wo-hoo! Way to go Dad!" Kari shouted. "That's the Saotome way!"

Three hours later Shampoo came in with a bucket and with one toss ended the match. "It time to go. Lost girl take father home?"

Mika picked up the squealing pig. "Sure thing."

Taki cleared his throat. "I'd better go with you, no telling where you'll end up otherwise."

Mika glared at him before punching him. "Jerk!" Rubbing his cheek Taki followed after her. "No! It's this way!"

Shampoo picked up an angry Mu-Mu-chan. "Stupid Mousse. Should know better than to try hurt Ranma. It bed time now. Come Si Cwan." Si Cwan remained where he was trying to analyze what exactly happened.

"That was so cool Dad!" Kari cried. "I loved that spiral punch you gave Uncle Ryoga, then that side mid-air kick to Mousse."

Ranma shook her head and spared a wry grin for her daughter. "Thanks. But we still know each too well to really fight."

"Aw, another hour and you'd had 'em."

Ranma sighed as she wrung out her shirt. "Your mother would kill me if she heard you talking like that. You really shouldn't."

"But Da-a-ad!"

"No buts. You're a young lady, despite your parents." Ranma said shaking his head, flinging water. "So you should act that way." Kari growled and stalked out. Ranma shook his head again. "Amazing. My daughter is twice the tomboy my wife ever was. You ok kid?"

Si Cwan continued to stare at the wall, Ranma shrugged and went to find some hot water before finding his wife.