A/N: Hi everyone. Listen, I know he doesn't have a sister. But I don't care. I started writing this fic before HP5 came out, and I like it. Don't bother telling me it's impossible. I like the impossible. And I like Siri. So there. Anyways, read and review. I know it's short, so bear with me. I'm just seeing what ya'll think before I continue. This story will most likely be updated often, with one or 2 journal entries each chapter, so patience. 2 reviews, and I'll continue. Otherwise. Angie

December 4

How stupid can I get? Bloody hell. I knew that she liked him. Hell, I even knew that he was lonely, and sick of it. But, being me, I never once thought that either of them would even dream of making a move. And therefore, when Amelia came to me for help on Defense Against the Dark Arts right before my Quidditch practice, I turned to him.

After all, Remus is better at that class than anyone I've ever met. That was my first mistake right there. See, Amelia is naturally shy. She likes Remus too much to talk to him. When I left for practice, Remus was reading over her assignment, and Amelia was sending me the patented Black Death glare. She was blushing badly. I grinned at her, and went down to one of the longest and hardest Quidditch practices that I've ever been through.

I knew that if he was helping her with work, she'd be more than happy to talk to him. I thought it'd be good for her, you know? Maybe if she talked to him, she'd realize that he's not a god or whatever. But no. She had to like him even more. And now I have a lovesick 1st year on my hands. One would think that this alone would be more than enough torture for the four years of pranks here at school. But no. There's more.

I sound like I'm on a Muggle infomercial. "Call now and your little sister will fall for your best friend. Call within the next 10 minutes, and he'll like her back! But wait, there's more! We'll also throw in enough guts for your best friend to act her out!" Gah! Because that's what he did. He asked her out. My best friend asked my sister out.

Yeah, things are quite comfortable around here right now. Amelia's blushing, uncomfortable, and more shy than normal. Remus has this incredibly guilty look about him, which leads me to believe that he kissed her. That makes my day so much better. He KISSED her! Not that I know this for certain, but I have a gut feeling, and I'm usually right.

I try to be happy for them. I really do. But I can't. Every time I look at one of them, I can't help thinking of what will happen when they fight. I mean, they have to break up eventually. And who am I going to side with? My best friend, who I trust with my life? I mean, sure, the man's a werewolf, but he's the best friend a guy could ask for, next to Jamie, of course. Jamie's just unbeatable.

Or do I go for my sister? I can't help seeing the scared little 5 year old who first came to me at night, crying. I mean, the poor girl was kicked out of her family when she was 5, and taken in by us. She needed me so desperately. And she would need me if she lost Remus, too. She'd need me badly. So what do I do?

I can't just say no, I'm not helping either of you. Wouldn't that just hurt them both even more? But what do I do? If I help Amelia, I lose my best friend. And I can't do that. Rem needs me. But if I side with Remus, I'm betraying my sister. My own sister. I'm supposed to protect her from getting hurt. Isn't that the older brother's code or something? Just wonderful.

And then there's this girl. Oh yeah. You knew that was coming. When have I told you anything and NOT mentioned a girl? But this girl... Wow. I could easily see myself falling for her. Not in love, of course. Love doesn't exist. It's a dream for the weak, the helpless, or the scared. People like Amelia.

Not that I don't adore my sister. I do. I really do. But she went through hell as a little girl. I mean, her dad... I'll kill the man someday. I don't care if the man swore he'd only have one daughter. That does NOT mean that you abandon your 5 year old daughter just because your wife has twins, and one of them is a girl! I doubt even Malfoy could be that evil. And that's saying a lot.

I'm extremely thankful that none of my friends know I keep a journal. I can't even imagine what they would say if they read what I had just written. Hmm, maybe I should erase that. No. I promised Amelia I'd keep this journal, at her request, and that I'd be honest with myself in it. I'd never realized just how difficult it is to be honest with oneself.

But it's kind of a relief to be able to say what I want, when I want. And know that no one will comment or do anything, because no one will know. Not even Jamie knows this stuff. The man may be closer than a brother to me, but he can be something of an insensitive git. Especially towards Evans.

You know, I have yet to pick up on what he sees in her. I mean, sure, she's pretty and all, but the girl is a bitch. A complete bitch. Uh-oh. Jamie is waking up. He's not allowed to see this!