Chapter 1 Thoughts

Author's Note: [especially to Phoenix Flight] sorry the story's a bit vague right now, and even I know that's an understatement. But I don't want to give a way too much, right now. Things will make more sense in chapter 2, promise!

Ok, I really don't really know how long the story's going to be, but it's not going to be /very/ long. I have most of the plot sorted out, but I don't really like planning /everything/ ahead. I just write.

AND, sorry this chapter took so long. I finally found out what a writer's block feels like, and I swear, I don't like it.

SEVERUS' POV IS SO HARD TO WRITE! DON"T TAKE IT OUT ON ME! Nah, its ok, I don't mind flames. I like criticism. Not enough people are truthful these days. BUT ITS TRUE! I know! But I got to do it, its part of the fanfic. Probably every couple of chapters will be in Sev's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It's all JKR's. Well, I don't own anything yet.

/: This means /italic/, cause Word documents don't really permit all this stuff.

*Severus' POV*

Harry's body shuddered as he fell limp in my arms. I could feel his deep breathing. His raven-black hair was untidy and dirty, and it covered the lightning scar that was proof of his extraordinary past. The more I studied him, the more I couldn't help notice how much the boy looked like James. I repressed my snarl. Potter. He was never worthy enough for Lily . . . Nonetheless; Harry had the same hair and the same features as him. He could've passed for James if it hadn't been for his eyes. They were Lily's. And although I could not see them at that moment, I knew how they looked. I could never have forgotten Lily. And his emerald eyes had come from her. The way he acted and the determination he possessed, it had all come from Lily. Courage was found in all Griffindors, but Lily had owned the ability to understand. It was knowledge beyond all wisdom and belief . . . If only things had been different, if only things could be changed . . .

"Severus? Would you mind putting down my patient?" Poppy was at my side, hands at her hips and a frown on her face.

I had been foolish enough to be distracted by my thoughts. And to play 'If only.' I almost scolded myself, but instead, I gently placed the boy back down and sneered.

"Of course, Poppy. I'm sure Mr /Potter/ will be fine. After all, nothing seems to be able to break his spirit. Or him," I added with a smirk.

I knew Weasley was glaring at me, maybe even with hatred, almost as much as I knew Granger had her hand over her mouth, eyes probably bright with unshed tears. Typical. I could have thanked her for the concern, but I guess the result of it wouldn't have been right. I didn't need Harry, or his friends for that matter, hating me any more then they already did.

So, without another word, I strode out the door, toward the dungeons. My confusion was not calmed when I found some curious fifth years spying on the hospital wards.

"He's delusional . . ." The brunette had whispered, earning her smiles from her two companions.

"Miss Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, unless you would /like/ points taken from your house, I suggest you return to your dorms. It /is/ after hours."

All three of them jumped at my voice, but only Miss Parkinson swayed around, a sickly sweet smile on her face, "But, /Professor/ . . ."

"Ten points from Slytherin, Miss Parkinson." I added, irritated. So annoyed, I'd almost added, 'each.'

Her smile turned nasty almost instantly and she dashed down the stairs without a moment's hesitation, Crabbe and Goyle trudging not far behind.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a second.

"Severus." I turned immediately, only to find Albus looking at me from the bottom of the staircase. "I'll see you in my office, I have important news."

I nodded slightly and sighed again. Couldn't I get /any/ time alone?

~

"Albus. You wanted to see me." I said quietly as I pushed the heavy oak door open.

"Ah, yes."

I was tired. I was annoyed. I was confused. And I had no time for games.

"Well?" I said impatiently.

He stared at me for a moment through his spectacles. They reflected a wisdom that I'd only ever seen in him alone. His blue eyes sparkled. "Well it seems we need a new Defence of Dark Arts teacher."

I refrained from clenching my fists and retorting something sarcastic. "You're implying, /Albus/?"

"I was thinking, and both students and parents are not complaining," he added, his eyes practically twinkling, "that we should ask Remus to return. I'm sure you remember Remus Lupin, after all, you /were/ once friends."

"Once." I replied coldly. "And is there no one else?"

Dumbledore blinked, but I could still see the remnants of his smile, "Someone else?" he said, and I swear he was trying not to laugh.

Great. My day was getting better by the minute. Now I sounded like a pleading first year student who couldn't handle being in the same room with another because of a grudge. It sounded pathetic to my own ears.

"Fine." I answered icily, "Lupin it is. And I suppose you'll be the one to inform him?"

Dumbledore nodded innocently. "And the Potion?" he added softly.

"Potion?" I answered stupidly. Oh, the Wolfsbane Potion. "Done." And without another word, left, the door clicking shut behind me.

~

I rushed quietly to my own quarters. The silence of the corridors was comforting. Reaching the dungeons, I cut a sharp left just before the Slytherin dorms and ignored most of the portraits covering the silver and black walls. I only stopped when I reached a portrait of a young man. Green eyes and black hair, I knew him as good natured and ambitious, as well as cold and irritable. I knew him as Salazar Slytherin.

"Eyrlenoir. *"

The portrait swung open without another word. Salazar didn't seem like he was in all that a good mood, either. I trudged over to the nearest chair, if anyone had seen me, I probably would've look drunk. My head was pounding and my thoughts were spinning. What was wrong with me?

Finally, I decided I would take a Dreamless Sleep Potion. At least when I was asleep, I didn't have to think or feel.

Or fear.

~

*Black eagle [don't ask, its totally fake. ^_^']

Ok, that was more than strange. I'm not all that big on writing character POV's, especially for Severus. He's a really hard character to write about, cause he's so mysterious [that's why we love him!]. And I was pretty vague about it. Tell my if I should change anything, or do it again.

Anyone have requests for the story? I'd love that! I'm not big on plots either. And I'll try my best to fit it in with the story!

One question: Should I turn Harry, Ron and Hermione [maybe Ginny and Draco] into Animagus? I wasn't very keen on the idea at first but it sounds really interesting to write about. So? Should I have them turn or not? And if it's a yes, what animals should they become?

And now that you read [hopefully you just didn't scroll down the page [I do that sometimes . . . lol] and review! I don't mind flames. Criticism is good; I'll use it. Thanks!