Disclaimer: Not Rumiko, not big Japanese animation studio, not Viz. Hence not mine.

Chapter 8:

"Kari, remind me when we get back home to kill you, slowly." Taki said glaring at his sister.

"Same here." Kari said glaring back. Then she tackled him.

Mika and Si Cwan bruised and bandaged glared at the two as they started laughing mid-attack. "I detest them."

"I'm with you there." Mika said. "They are so freaking annoying."

"Quite. Habiki-San, is your arm better today?"

"Ya, thanks for the herbs."

"Your quite welcome." Si Cwan said standing, wincing as he did so. "I believe I have the next round."

Mika gave him a look of utmost sympathy. "Try to go down fast."

"I will not!"

"Trust me. I think Kari won that round." Mika said nodding at the now squabbling twins.

Si Cwan winced. "Regardless. I am an Amazon, I refuse to just give in."

"Your funeral. But remember she's still pissed about the stream incident." Mika reminded him as he limped toward the two.

**Flashback-two days earlier**

Kari smiled as she tackled Taki from behind. "Morning!"

"Ugh! Do you have to do that?" Taki said winded.

"Yup! It's SOOO much fun!" Kari said. "I'm gonna go wash up in the stream, make sure no one walks over 'Kay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Taki said throwing her off his back. "Go on I'll keep the Amazon hoard busy."

"Thanks!" Kari shouted as she bounded off.

Mika walked over. "Where's Kari going in such a hurry?"

Taki smiled. "She's gonna take a bath." Then he draped an arm over her shoulder. "So I take it I'm forgiven then? We can try friends?"

Mika punched him into a tree. "Keep your stinking hands off me!" With that she stalked off into the woods, and didn't return until breakfast the next day. Taki unfortunately, decided to take an unscheduled nap, just as Si Cwan walked by with a canteen. The resulting shriek woke him up but it was far too late, and Si Cwan got a very nice aerial view of the mountain. On a brighter note he also he found Mika, by landing on her.

**end flashback**

Taki rubbed his head as he made his way over to Mika. "Damn girl. Told her it wasn't my fault." He grumbled.

"What do you think your doing?" Mika asked coldly.

"I was just going to sit!" Taki snapped. "Sorry if the whole log was taken. Didn't seem to mind Si Cwan sitting with you."

"That's because Si Cwan is a gentleman." Mika replied. "You are a cretin."

"AHHHHHHHH!!" Si Cwan cried as he flew over their heads into the surrounding trees.

"You're up." Taki said. "Maybe YOU can calm her down."

Mika winced. "Not likely. How long does she usually stay mad like this?"

"Depends." Taki answered. "This wasn't too bad, happens at home all the time. So I'd say about two more days. We're just lucky it didn't involve food."
Si Cwan stumbled over to them, blinking blearily. "Food? Like Mochi?"

Taki nodded. "Yeah. Cause then she'd be in a rage for a good month, or until she killed someone."

The other two stared at him. "Killed someone?" They repeated.

Taki shrugged, uncomfortable. "Well, it's never really happened, but there was this one guy…"

"MIKA! You coming or what?" Kari growled.

Mika sighed and moved over to the field. Si Cwan nodded at Taki to continue. "Well, it was our ten birthday and this guy jumped the fence, smashed our cake and grabbed Mom. Dad jumped to kick him, but before he could Kari was on his back choking him. Of course he let Mom go right away but Kari still hung on. It took both my parents to pull her off. And my Dad was trying to calm her down, telling her that Mom was all right, well she tackled the guy again. This time while she was kicking him she kept saying, 'My cake! My cake!' Needless to say, Mom wasn't too thrilled by it." Taki shook his head. "It was such a shame too, Aunt Kasumi made that cake."

Si Cwan swallowed hard, thinking of his narrow escape earlier. "This happens every time?"

"No. Only if it was a particular favorite of hers, and it was done by someone she could feel justified beating on."

"Like me?"

"Oh yeah! I'd forgotten about that." Taki said laughing slightly. "You're lucky Sora stepped up to take the blame, or you'd still be in the hospital."

"So she wouldn't get mad at your cousin Sora?"

"Kari would never lay a hand on someone like Sora, or Kia for that matter and they know that. If they do happen to do something, well then Kari goes into crying fits, or hits me. Hard." Taki said wincing.

"Taki?"
"Yeah?"

"Remind me to thank you cousin when we get home. And give her free ramen for life." Si Cwan said faintly.

Taki nodded. Then caught Mika as she came flying toward them. Kari stomped up to them. "Alright who's next?"

The three groaned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Makoto bit her lip as she followed the other two. "Are you guys sure about this?" She whispered.

"SHHH!" Yui said, waving back at her. Michelle turned and grinned, giving her a thumbs up. Makoto rolled her eyes as she crawled closer.

"What are you looking at anyway?"

"Sensei Gosunkugi." Yui whispered. "He's talking with that vampire teacher."

Makoto sighed. "Yui, Saotome-san said that Hinako was not a vampire."

"Mom doesn't know everything." Yui said frowning. "Look at the two of them! If that's not a zombie I don't know what is."

Michelle grinned at them. "This is fun, regardless. But I do think we should leave soon."

"Why's that?" Yui asked crossly.

"Because, they've left the office."

"WHAT?" Yui cried, swiftly turning toward the window. "Aww man, another chance blown."

"Chance?" A hyper voice asked. "Are you deliquents?"

"EEK!" Makoto squealed running behind the other two. In front of them stood a WAY too hyper little girl in a baggy purple dress.

Yui smiled sheepishly. "Hi Sensei. We were just talking about our chances for entrance exams. They're coming up fast you know!"

"OH! That's very studious of you!" She said beaming as she patted the three on the head. "Keep up the good work!"

As she bounced off the three slumped. "That was too close, Yui!" Makoto said shaking.

"Maybe. Wanna go for some okonamiyaki?"

"Yui!" Makoto said frowning.

"Yeah! Let's go!" Michelle said bouncing. "Habiki-san is SOO cute!" The two raced off towards 'Ucchans.'

"But…Hey! Wait for me!" Makoto called as she ran after them. "Boys." She grumbled under her breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kia hummed softly as he fluffed the living room pillows. "These are getting quite old, I wonder if I should talk to Momma about replacing them."

"Hello, is anyone home?"

"In here!" Kia called.

"Oh my! You're getting so big Kia!" Kasumi said smiling.

"Hi Aunt Kasumi." Kia smiling back. "And thank you! Is something wrong?"

"Oh no! I was just passing through and thought I'd pay a visit."

"How nice!" Kia said. "How is uncle? And Grandfather?"

"Oh they're both very well, Yusake'll be home next month." Kasumi with a dreamy look in her eye. "Is Akane home?"

"It's her day in the Dojo today." Kia answered. "Would you like me to fetch her?"

"That's okay, I'd forgotten that it was her turn. I suppose Ranma is with her?"

"Uh-huh. Would you like some cookies?"

"Thank you, that's very thoughtful." The two ate in relative peace and serenity. "Tea?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ukyo smiled at the trio that raced inside the shop. "Hey kids. Have a fun day?"
Yui and Michelle laughed, while Makoto groaned. "It was memorable."

Ukyo shook her head laughing. 'Cute kids, even if one does belong to that psycho-bitch. That brown-haired girl is awfully familiar though.' "Here, have one on the house."

Yui's eyes lit up. "Thanks Auntie!" He raced toward the counter as Michelle grabbed Makoto.

"One for us too?" Michelle asked, doing the best puppy dog eyes.

Ukyo grinned. "Yeah sure, kiddo. Hop right up."

"Yeah!" Michelle cried. Dragging Makoto behind, Michelle jumped up beside Yui. "You're sooo cute Habiki-san!"

Ukyo frowned. "You look really familiar. I wouldn't happen to know your parents would I?"

Michelle glowered. "I hope not." One of the plants against the wall shook. At a squeal all four turned toward the entrance. A small black piglet was racing in heading for Ukyo.

"Ryoga! What are you doing here?" Ukyo asked sternly. The piglet just cried and tried to hide behind her.

"Charlotte! Here Charlotte! Mommy has a little collar for you!"

Michelle went pale and hid behind Makoto. "AH! She found me!"

"There you are!" Azusa said brightly coming into the store. The plant started shaking more. "Come to Mommy now Charlotte." Azusa said bending down to the pig.

Ukyo cleared her throat. "Excuse me. What, pray tell, are you doing to my husband?"

Azusa blinked up at the woman. "Husband?"
Ukyo glared. "Yes. That's MY Ryoga." The piglet nodded vigorously.

"You married a pig?"

Ukyo grit her teeth, "Look, just answer my question, before I get mad."

"That's MY little Charlotte!" Azusa said firmly. "I lost Charlotte to this horrid girl in a skating match, but I found Charlotte again and it's mine now. Mine. Mine. Mine!" Azusa said banging Ukyo on the head with a tray.

"Listen you bubble-brained twit…"

"STOP!" A voice cried as the plant smashed into the two. "Azusa I can't let you harm my beloved Ukyo!"

Ukyo and Michelle stared in horror at the talking plant. "No! It can't be!" Ukyo groaned as Ryoga growled. Michelle started banging counter with head.

Yui sighed and made his way to the kitchen. As fun as this was to watch; Ryoga probably wanted to be human so he could pound on the plant. Makoto just patted Michelle on the back. One hot water kettle and some clothes later, Ryoga had the plant broken and the cute form underneath bruised.

"Now what was that about MY Ukyo?" Ryoga growled. Next to him Ukyo had her spatula out and was threatening Azusa, who by that point was concentrating on something else.

"Jean-Louise!" Azusa cried tackling Tsubasa. "Where did you run off to you naughty man?"

Tsubasa groaned. "AHH! Let me go! And for the last time my name is Tsubasa!" "It's Jean-Louise!" Azusa said crossly. The two started arguing fiercely and forgetting the other occupants.

"Um, should we, like hit them or something?" Ryoga asked.

"I'm not really sure." Ukyo answered.

"ENOUGH!" Michelle screamed. Everyone turned to look at the girl.

"How cute!" Azusa cried, grabbing her and hugging her tightly. "How's mommy's little cutie pie?"

"Hi honey!" Tsubasa said embarrassed.

"Let me go, let me go!" Michelle said crossly. "GOD! And you two wonder why I don't want to be seen in public with you!"

"But sweetie!" Tsubasa began.

"But nothing." Michelle said scowling. "Now apologize to the two of them."

Azusa pouted. "But they took my little Charlotte."

"Moth-er." Michelle ground out. "Remember the talk Daddy and I gave you? The one about not taking other people things?" Azusa pouted and crossed her arms. "And Daddy?"
Tsubasa looked at her guiltily. "Um, yes?" he asked smoothing out his frills on his dress.

"We've talked about the whole dress thing."

Tsubasa pouted. "But I LIKE dresses."

"You're a guy."

"So?" Azusa nodded. "So what? Jean-Louise is much cuter in dresses."

"MY NAME IS TSUBASA!" He screamed. "GOD! It was cute the for the first five years, but jeez!"

"THEY'RE MARRIED?" Ukyo and Ryoga cried finally realizing what it all meant. "EWWWW!"

"Michelle should try dresses too, you'd be sooo much cuter!" Azusa said ignoring the others.

"FOR THE LAST TIME MOM, I'M A GUY!" Michelle screamed. "And unlike Daddy-dear, I do not cross-dress!"

Azusa frowned. "But you're so cute!"

Michelle threw up his hands. "That's it. I'm going home!" He stomped out of the restaurant, leaving chaos behind him.

"Michelle! Michelle you come back here!" Azusa called, frowning she ran out after him.

Tsubasa rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, sorry about the mess. You can, uh, send me the bill. I gotta be going. Bye!" Then he quickly exited the shop.

Ukyo and Ryoga stared blankly at the door while Yui ate his and Michelle's food. Makoto just groaned and lay her head down on the table. "What a day huh? Free food and a show all in one!"

Down the street, Keiichi watched the odd procession and wisely stayed out of their way. Stopping at the site of the new Cat Café he poked his head in. "Hello!"

"Nihao!" Mei-Lin said coming out from kitchen. "Keiichi! Want you do here?"
"I thought I'd see of you needed any help unpacking."

"That nice." Mei-Lin said smiling. "We have many boxes."

"Aiyah! What little lost boy do here?" Shampoo asked glaring slightly at Keiichi.

"Hello Shampoo-san. I wanted to see if you need help, and technically I'm not a lost boy. I avoided that genetic heritage, but feel free to call me spatula boy." Keiichi said calmly.

Shampoo gave him an odd look while Mei-Lin giggled. "Shampoo hope you not teasing."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Keiichi said winking at Mei-Lin.

Shampoo frowned and crossed her arms. "Good. Spatula boy can clean kitchen. And tell stupid Mousse to bring boxes out here."

"Sure thing! Happy to help!" Keiichi said racing toward the back. Mei-Lin grinned to herself.

Author's Notes: Well lookie, lookie, an update for AM! Well what do you know? Actually I got a promotion (such as it was) at work, and it changed my hours a bit allowing a tad more free time than I previously had. Which resulted in the updates and new stuff I've posted. Well here's the secret of Michelle's parentage! *giggle* Though I don't think it was much of a secret. Come on, who didn't guess at least her mom? I tried to expand a little more on some of the more neglected characters, but that really didn't work out well. I can't seem to stay away from the Saotomes. Tacchi's actually thinking of suing. I'm not sure I like the Kia and Kasumi scene but…*shrug* And the river incident? Hey it's Ranma! What would the show be without people accidentally walking in while another person was bathing? I think that's like half the show. I'm still considering an interlude about just Tacchi, mostly because he's really upset about the small role and is talking about breech of contract and other nonsense. We'll see how the negotiating goes.