The Dumb and Dumberer

Author's notes: I don't own Harry Potter. This fic was written one fine day when I was feeling real bored. Please read and review! Thanx. ^v^

They are now in the library.
SHHHHHH!" Malfoy stuck both his fingers into his ears. "Will you please stop singing that horrible song?"
"Why? My voice is just so nice..." Hermione continued singing the Hogwarts School Song. "...bits of fluff..."
"ARRGH! Just SHUT UP, will you?"


Hermione stopped. She peered over Malfoy's shoulder.
"Wow! What's that you're reading?"
"You must've finished this book and you're asking me what I am reading! Anyway, it's none of your business what others want to read. You just stop bothering me!"
Hermione replied, "I didn't know why you are so hardworking, Malfoy. The exams are weeks away, for goodness' sake. And you're revising for Potions already. That's the, what, fifth test? Relax, Malfoy. You don't have to be so --"
"Hardworking? What? Don't tell me you haven't started revising yet?" Malfoy was shocked.


"Of course! There's still lots of time. Besides, all work and no play makes me a dull girl!"
"Is this the real Hermoine?Anyway, who cares whether you are a dull girl or not? No one even looks at you twice!"
Hermione's face screwed up, looking as she was about to cry. "That's not true!" she said.
I am not going to waste my time talking to you," Malfoy sneered.
"Yeah, why am I talking to you too?"
"If you don't mind, will 'cha please get out and leave me alone!"
"Ooh, someone's so polite today! He uses phrases like 'If you don't mind' and 'please'..." Hermione said sarcastically.


"KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" Malfoy nearly screamed.
"SHHH!" Madam Prince stared at Malfoy angrily.
"Haha, now who's the one making noise now?"
"Just get out, Fat Lady," Malfoy said.
"I'm NOT fat!" Hemione said indignantly.


"You're not fat, you're pregnant!" Harry, who had just walked into the library, said.
"YOU ALL ARE SOOOO BAD! I WANT MY MUMMMMMMYYYYYYYY!" Hermione wailed.
"That's a nice one, Harry." Malfoy said, grinning. Both boys gave each other high-fives.


Ron arrived. "What's going on here? HARRY?! Why are you hanging around with someone like Malfoy?
"Mind your own poor business, red-head. I hang out with those I like. I'm glad I'm not with you!"
Ron's face burned. It now looked as red as his hair, if not redder.
"Who's messed with my girl?" Ron looked over at the crying Hermione.
"You got a problem?" Harry asked.
"And what do you mean by that, Harry? You're the one who made Herm cry? Well, you'll get what you deserve!"


Both boys pulled out their wands...

>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

...threw them aside...

and began arm-wrestiling instead. (A/N: Haha!)


"GO GO GO!" Meanwhile, all the people in the library were cheering and shouting.
With all the din, even Madam Prince's angry shouting of "SHHH!" and "Keep quiet!" could not be heard.
Lavender said, "Ooh...Ron to the rescue! How romantic!"
"Hermione, you are just so lucky. If only I had a guy like that..." Parvarti teased.


==== After a long while... ====
Battered and bruised, Harry and Malfoy escaped from the library. Ron had won the 'match'.
"Ron, you okay?" Hemione asked worriedly.
"Yeah."
Hermione gave Ron a big hug, leaving Ron red-faced and embarrased. "Thanks."
Seeing the 'match' was over, everyone got back to their seats and minded their own business.
Madam Prince muttered, "Students these days..." She shook her head and sighed.
It was a happy ending after all.

Author's notes: Haha! That was stupid. Evil Harry and brave Ron! Harry Potter fans, please don't be offended. Just to let you know, I like Harry too. But I just wanted to change his character a bit in this dumb story. Thanks for reading till the end.