That Day

It's Down To This

A/N: Okay, you guys have waited patiently enough! I'm so glad that you like this so much, and I'm not a complete failure at writing... Have fun, kids!

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My body hits the ground hard, and my head smacks against the concrete a second later.

Oh, shit...I just got shot...

Dammit, I'll have to go on desk duty, I think as I lay there, my eyes slowly coming into focus as I stare upwards at the ugly cracked ceiling. I feel like laughing or maybe I'm gonna cry, because the first thing that runs through my head is funny and stupid and sad and terrifying all at the same time. Who cares about desk duty?

I just got shot. I'm laying here on the cold, cement floor with a bullet in my vest. No, wait, two bullets - he shot twice. I'm hit. He shot me. I'm wearing my vest. I'm okay.

An agonizingly slow second passes before I realize that I'm not breathing. I can't breathe. My chest struggles to move but I can't make it. Why can't I breathe? I hear a series of gunshots go off and I inadvertently flinch and wince. No! He got Faith... oh, God, he got Faith!

I need to get up, I need to help her...

I move to get up and the pain hits. I've never felt anything like this before. It tears through my chest and stomach like fire, and my body goes rigid in shock. God! I try to scream, but nothing is working right. I can't breathe. I need air...

Instinctively, my hands fly to my chest and claw at the searing pain. Stop! Make it stop, please... The only sound I can hear now is the sound of blood rushing to my ears and the horrible thumping of my racing heartbeat.

I need air. I can't breathe. I'm hit. I can feel warm, wet fluid seeping quickly through my fingers and spilling down my coat onto the ground beside me. Blood. That's blood. I'm bleeding. No... Oh, no, please...

My mouth works, silently struggling to get a breath. It doesn't come. God, something is on my chest stopping my air. There's so much pressure - too much. I need air. I need to get to Faith. He killed her...

Again I try to get up, but the burning in my chest and stomach intensifies, ripping me apart furiously. My body responds, going rigid again as spasms tear at every muscle. Everything in me screams in agony, but I have no air left to yell out and I remain quiet. Nobody is down here. Faith is dead. I'm dying. Nobody is down here. They won't find us 'till it's too late... My stomach turns painfully and bile rises into my throat. I feel so sick, I think I'm gonna pass out...

Please.... I need air...

Over and over, I try to breathe, attempting to fill the emptiness of my screaming lungs. Finally, I can feel my chest raise a fraction. Cold air rushes into my lungs and the pressure in my chest lightens slightly. I can breathe... I can breathe! I feel tears of pain sting down my cheeks, hot and moist and I gasp for a second breath. It comes, but I can barely feel my chest move. It isn't enough air. I'm suffocating.

I see a shadowy figure move into view and I strain to see who it is. I can't tell, but it's hovering over me, big and blurry. My heart drops. Oh, God, please... don't let it be him... it cant be him... no...

My eyes finally focus as I blink away the tears that are rapidly filling my eyes. No, it's not him. It's Faith. She's okay... oh thank God.

I make out her blonde hair and hear her panicked voice as she screams at me, "Bosco! Oh my God!" Her hands grab my shoulders and I can see her blue eyes full of alarm and fear. "God, Bosco, where're you hit? Where're you hit?" she shrieks, her voice high-pitched and frantic.

She doesn't wait for an answer and quickly moves out of my eye line. I can feel her fingers tearing at my coat, trying to pull it off. Damn, that hurts... My vision goes blurry again at the intense pain that shoots through me from her touch. I cringe and attempt to suck in another breath. God, Faith, don't touch. Help me breathe... I can't breathe, Faith...

I hear Faith start to hyperventilate, her breaths coming short and quick. I need air, Faith. I can't breathe... I try and tell her, but I have no air left.

"Shh, shhh," she shushes me, stroking my cheek with her hand. "Don't try and talk. It's okay. Just breathe..."

I can't!

I grab her arm and squeeze hard, my eyes screaming what I can't say: I can't breathe! Help me!

Faith's eyes narrow as they stare into mine, concerned and confused. "Bosco, breathe... breathe!" she whispers, her voice now tight with distress. She understands. She sees that I can't breathe and her eyes go wide with panic.

She firmly grabs my hands off of my chest, my wounds, and pushes then to the ground next to me. The cold concrete makes my hands burn slightly as they rest against it and I struggle to control my reflexes that will me to grab at the pain in my chest. "Com'on, dammit, breathe!"

I gasp again and another small bit of air enters my begging lungs, ripping through my throat and chest and burning all the way down. It's still not enough. Please, I need more air than this... I groan the tiny amount of air out as a loud, pleading, choking sob. Help me...

Faith is yelling frantically into her CB, her hysterical gasps are shrill and frightening. "10-13, 10-13! My partner's been shot! Officer down..." her voice becomes a muffled babble as the rapid pulsing of my blood fills my ears. I'm dying - I know it... I can't die... I don't want to die... please... this wasn't supposed to happen...

I'm starting to shiver because I feel so cold, like I'm in a freezer. I clench my eyes closed and my back arches in excruciating pain as Faith pulls and tugs at my clothes again, tearing off my shirt and unfastening my vest as fast as her frenzied fingers will allow.

My vest... the damn thing didn't work.

My hands move once more for my chest. Please... stop the pain - it burns so bad... Faith pushes my hands away again gently, and presses her palms against the blood spilling out of my chest. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," she whispers when I cringe and sob at the excruciating pain.

My throat burns, a fiery, stinging sensation, and I can feel fluid rushing rapidly up. I gag and choke on it, trying not to inhale it. Bright red blood spills out of my mouth with every cough and choke.

Shit, that's not good. I fight back the feelings of panic as I gasp at the blood and feel my eyes roll back in my head.

No! I fight to stay awake, forcing my eyes to open and focus on Faith's face. She's terrified. "Bosco? Bosco! Oh, God, hold on!" she shrieks, panicked at the amount of blood coming out of my mouth. God, it hurts, Faith... I need to breathe...

I try to control my body and focus on inhaling air. Okay, inhale...exhale... I can do this. I draw a small, shaky breath and wheeze it out. Again.

Faith is crying, sobbing really, tears are running down her face and dropping rhythmically onto my chest. She keeps whispering to me, her voice thick with emotion. "It's okay, I got you. It's okay. Please, just hold on..."

I gasp and gurgle against the blood in my throat; damn I sound like I'm dying. I swallow down the blood in my mouth and grab my partner's arm again. She's shaking like hell. "Faith..." I croak out, wincing at the pain the one word causes me. My chest is on fire, I swear, it burns hotter with every movement.

"God, Bosco," she sobs as I gasp and labor for another breath. I could breathe - it's just that my chest is so damn tight...

"Faith..." I manage to sputter again. "I...can't...breathe..." I whimper, my voice slightly above a whisper. I can feel more blood rushing up my throat, causing me to once again gag and choke. I feel so nauseous; my stomach is starting to heave.

I'm gonna be sick.

I turn my head to the side just in time to see a rush of bile and blood surge out onto the cold concrete beside me. Oh, shit, that's so much blood. My vision blurs as I gasp and cough it all out, but I can see people running up to us. Please be the medics... Please...

"Faith!" someone calls out. I recognize the voice immediately - it's Davis. His footsteps are pounding against the floor and echoing loudly around the empty station. "Faith! What the hell happened?"

Ty stops right beside me and gasps loudly. "Oh my God!" he exclaims and takes a step back. I guess I look as rough as I feel.

Another pair of feet runs into view. "Son-of-a-bitch," Sully mutters loudly, kneeling down next to my head. "What happened?" he asks Faith and pulls away my undershirt a bit to look at my wounds. I see him cringe noticeably and swallow what I assume is a huge lump in his throat. "God, Faith, what happened?"

Oh, man, it's bad...

Faith shakes her head at his questions. "Just help me," she sobs.

Sully nods and yanks his gloves off, stuffing them into Faith's hand. "Use this," he commands roughly. She immediately obeys and packs them into the gaping holes in my chest, intensifying the pain until it's white-hot and searing. I don't have the air or the energy to cry out, and instead I struggle not to let myself strangle on the blood in my throat.

Davis is kneeling closer to my head, mumbling quietly under his breath, but I can hear every word, "Oh, man...oh, man... shit... shit!"

I want to scream at him - dammit Davis, help me! I stare him right in the eye, hoping that he'll see that I'm slowly suffocating to death. His brown eyes blink at me and I can read the alarm in them.

I watch his gloved hands move jerkily, as if he can't decide what to do with them. Finally, he slides one under my neck and props my head back a little. Immediately it's easier to breathe, the difference is slight, but I'm so grateful I could cry.

"Hey, man, we got ya," Davis mumbles and starts wiping my bloody mouth off with something.

Sully is grabbing my shaking hands and pinning them down by my sides. My body is staring to feel disconnected - I can't control anything anymore. I feel the urge to panic tighten my chest and I moan in agony. "God...please," I whisper. More tears spring up into my eyes and sting hot trails into my cheeks.

"Bosco, it's okay," I hear Faith say softly. "Don't talk, just breathe."

I wish it were that easy.

"10-13, Officer down! We need a rush on that bus!" Sully barks loudly into his radio.

"Copy that, Charlie. Bus is three minutes out," comes the static reply.

Three minutes. I can't... Three minutes is forever.

"You hear that, Bos?" Davis squeezes my shoulder gently. "Help is almost here... just hang on, okay?" I can hear his voice trembling slightly.

I attempt to nod my head, but end up gagging and spiting more blood out of my mouth. Davis' eyes grow even wider at this and his grip on my shoulder tightens.

Every second is dragging on, bringing more pain and panic then I've ever felt. I'm not sure if I can make it three minutes without passing out, but Faith and Davis' constant patter of encouragement forces my eyes open and my mind to stay clear. Well, semi-clear at least.

My brain feels all muddled and confused, like I'm high on some psychedelic cocktail. If it weren't for the fact that I'm in so much pain right now, I'd probably be wondering what I had taken.

Now, as I lay here in my own blood, spots have started to float in front of my eyes and my head is aching like a sledgehammer hit me. But the pain in my head is nothing compared to the intensely severe burning of my chest and stomach. I keep thinking that it'll get better, but it only gets worse.

Faith and Sully continue to put pressure on my wounds and Ty holds my hands down. I want to tell him that that's not necessary, but I know that the second he lets go, my reflexes will take over and I'll start flailing around again. I can't control my body anymore...God, I'm so scared.

I feel so tried, every muscle in my body has been rigid up to now, but I can feel them slowly relaxing, dragging me into the dark void of sleep. My eyelids droop, tempting me to surrender to the darkness that is calling. If I sleep, I won't feel pain... Damn, that sounds so good right now.

"Bosco!" Davis' voice startles my eyes open again. Pain hits again like a bolt of lightning, and I moan and gasp at the severity of it. I can't do this... I can't...

"Don't fall asleep, man. You gotta stay awake. Com'on, buddy," Ty pleads with me, his hands grasping mine a little tighter and his eyes flooding with panicked sincerity.

My hands are starting to quiver, aching to be free from his grasp. Davis, please let go, I silently beg as I fight to breathe. My pathetic attempts fall short by a long shot. I think I'm barely supplying my brain with enough oxygen to function. Everything is fuzzy, from the lack of air or from the extreme pain, I don't know, but all I want right now is to die.

Just kill me now, I want to scream at them. It'd be lass painful... All I can manage to do is sob out another breath and hope that I don't asphyxiate on my own fluids. God, I can't die like this...

Davis' head snaps up and he looks far into the distance. "Oh, thank God," he breathes. His eyes dart back to my own and he smiles weakly. "Hey, Bosco, hold on. The medics are here. We're gonna get you outta here, okay?"

I can hear the faint sound of slapping feet as they run towards us. My lungs start to feel tight again and I feel like I'm drowning. I rasp in another small breath and cough out a whole lot more blood.

"Hurry!" Faith screams at the running feet, her blue eyes wide and red from crying. I can see her fingers pressed against my chest. There's so much blood seeping through them, dripping and falling to the floor beside me. Enough blood is on the ground all around me to be considered a pool, I'm sure. I wonder how much longer I can bleed before it's all gone...

Doc and Carlos finally pound into view with various medical bags and the bright orange backboard thrown over their shoulders. "Move over guys," Doc orders as he runs up, "we got him."

Faith and Sully move out of the way as best as they can while still applying pressure. Their slight movements send pain ricocheting throughout my torso, causing me to gasp in agony. My eyes fuzz in and out of focus and my heart pounds relentlessly against the horrible, fiery pain.

Doc half-slides into a kneeling position next to me, and whips out his stethoscope. "Hey, Bosco, we gotcha now," he says quickly as he listens to my heart. "You're okay, we gotcha."

A moment passes of silence and the only thing I can hear is the sound of my feeble attempts to inhale: a grating, gagging, choking sound. It makes me feel sick.

"Doc, he can't breathe," Faith tells him huskily. "Help him, please..."

Doc nods his head solemnly and reaches behind him to grab an oxygen tank and mask. "Okay, Bosco, I'm gonna put this on you and see if we can get you to breathe easier," he tells me and slips the oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. I can't tell if it's helping any, but I just focus on breathing and pray that they don't have to tube me. I don't think I could handle a tube down my throat.

Doc leans over me and asks Faith in a low voice, "Did you check for an exit?"

I know what he means. The bullets might not have gone through. They need to check. They need to move me. God, no... I can't move, I'll pass out.

Faith shakes her head no. Doc nods at her and comes closer to my face. "We're gonna roll you over, Bosco. We gotta check for an exit, okay?" He turns to Carlos. "Bring the backboard over here and get ready to slide it under him," he commands.

Don't. Please... I silently beg as Doc and Carlos prepare to roll me. Faith moves up towards my head and pushes my damp hair back from my forehead. I stare up into her eyes and watch them as they dart back and forth from mine to Doc to my chest. I can't help but see the uneasiness in them; her normally blue eyes have turned cloudy and are almost gray with fear. God, I wish this wasn't happening...I'm sorry, Faith...

"Okay, you got him?" I hear Doc ask Sully and Ty. They both have their hands under my right side and are ready to roll me over. My chest tightens again and my body tenses as I dread the inevitable. "Ready? One, two, three," he counts quickly.

The pain hits as a shockwave - intense, excruciating, and unbearable all at once. Oh, damn, it hurts like hell! I fight the overwhelming urge to give in and pass out.

The force of the movement thrusts whatever air I had left out of my lungs as a loud, raspy groan. My arms flop in front of me and smack onto the ground, scaring me half to death. I can't move them at all, they're numb.

This is hell. No doubt about it. I'm convinced.

I'm so damn tired... My vision is hazy again and my body is so deadened that can't feel anything but the extreme pain and the slowing thumps of my heart. I'm dying. I'm shutting down...

"Okay, no exit wound on the upper. We got one down here," Doc's voice is loud and grating. Shut the hell up, Doc, I just want to sleep... or die - whatever is less painful, I don't really care anymore...

"Carlos, get me another four-by-four and grab the C-collar. We need 'ta scoop and run," he tells his partner.

Crap. Scoop and run. They only do that when you barely have like five minutes left in your life.

Finally, they roll me back onto the hard backboard. My head rolls around and I can't steady it, totally freaking me out, and I once again can't breathe.

"How you doin', Bosco?" Doc asks me worriedly and grabs my chin to steady my head. "You still with us here? We're gonna put a collar on you real quick, and then we'll get you outta here."

Carlos' big, ugly head floats into view and he tips my head back quickly to fasten the collar on. As soon as he snaps that plastic thingy on, my stupid airway seals completely. Oh...shit.

Now I panic.

My eyes fly open and my heart races at the thought of suffocating. Get it off! Get the damn thing off! I will my hands to move, to yank the collar off, but they don't shift at all. They must have tied them down already. Oh, God, help me...

I'm screwed.

Carlos peers down at me and frowns. "Uh, Doc, he stopped breathing... I'll bag him."

Thank you! For the fist time in my life, I actually feel like hugging the moron. He takes off the useless oxygen mask and places the blue cup of the air pump over my nose and mouth. Carlos' hands are dripping and covered in blood. My blood. Oh, sick.

Faith's hand flies to her mouth and covers her sobs. God, she's as scared as I am...

Faith I'm sorry.

Carlos squeezes the bag and a gust of air rushes down into my lungs. My chest nearly bursts with pressure, but I don't care - it's air.

Doc grabs his penlight and opens my eyes, shining it right into them. Damn, the light is so bright it makes my head hurt.

"Pupils are equal and dilating," he tells Carlos. Shit, that can't be good.

The next few minutes are a blur as I feel them pick me up and carry me upstairs to the ambulance above us. I barely feel anything anymore, besides the pain, of course. My vision fades in and out of focus, but I manage to keep my eyes open despite the overpowering urge to fall asleep. I can't fall asleep. If I fall asleep I might never wake up... I'll be dead.

"Bosco, you just hold on, buddy," Doc murmurs to me. His head is right above mine but he's only a big, black blur. Someone is squeezing my hand tightly - I think it's Faith 'cause I can hear her crying. I squeeze back as hard as I can, but my numb fingers scarcely move.

"Mercy, this is Adam-553... GSW to the right upper... massive blood loss... decreased breath sounds... BP 60 over 30 and droppi-..." I can only hear bits and pieces of Doc's frantic call over the sound of my heartbeat and the noisy "whooshes" of air that Carlos pumps into me.

Doc takes another look at my chest and then his hands reach down and press down firmly on my stomach. A white flash of pain blinds me, and for a second I'm sure I'll pass out. My body tenses again and goes rigid in agony and I yell out in pain. "Belly is tender and distended," Doc barks into his radio.

You think?! If he does that again I'll kill him...

We make it to the top of the stairway, and the icy wind bites into every inch of my uncovered skin. "Let's get him in quick," Doc says, sounding really rushed and worried. "Davis, I need you to drive!"

"I'm coming with you," Faith sobs and squeezes my hand tightly, but Sully pulls her away from me and shakes his head.

"No, they need room to work," he tells her as they load me into the bus. "We'll follow right behind them."

No, wait...Faith... I want her to come with me. What if I die? I don't want to die in the back of a bus with Carlos. That's like my worst nightmare. I need Faith.

I hear the back doors slam shut and someone pound the routine three knocks on the back. The sirens start up, splitting my head in half with their shrill ringing. Oh, God, please turn it off... please...

"Just hang on, Bosco, we gotcha," Doc assures again as he works on me. I wish to God that everyone would stop asking me to hold on. They have no idea what they are asking me to do... It's too hard. I can't...

Someone grabs my arm and I feel a stinging sensation as an IV line goes in. Doc and Carlos talk back and forth quickly in a bunch of medical jargon that I don't even try to understand. Something about "hemopneumothorax" and "cyanotic" and junk like that.

All I know is that my heart is slowing down fast - too fast. I should panic, but I'm too damn tired to do anything. "Hey, Bosco, squeeze my hand," Carlos murmurs as he grabs mine. I try to, but it's limp and floppy. My stomach turns at this and I feel like I'm going to be sick again.

Suddenly my heart starts beating really hard and out of sync, twisting painfully in my chest. It feels like someone is ripping it out... Oh, God, I'm so sacred... "He's throwing PVC's!" Doc says loudly, sounding really panicked. "Davis! Put your foot down, we need to get there fast!" he hollers to the front seat.

This can't be happening to me. It's all a dream. I just need to wake up...

"You got it," I can barely hear Davis answer as the bus lurches forward.

The urge to let go and give in to the darkness is uncontrollable. I can't stay awake anymore. I tried, but I can't. My eyelids are heavy and my body feels numb and lead-filled. I should just let it go, there's no way I can wait until the hospital...

Faith I'm sorry... Tell Ma I love her...

I relax and give up, letting myself slip away into it, letting my eyes close. Everything is black, dark, but I can still hear. I can hear frantic voices and the beeping of the monitors.

I can hear it all slowly fade away.

The last thing I hear before the sounds are completely gone is the loud, death-shriek of the heart monitor.

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TBC... Maybe. ;)