Disclaimer:                      Not mine -  I just know what to do with them.

Distribution:                     Story is mine.  If you want it ask. 'Nuff said.

Rating:                             UK-18 / USA-NC17 / Others – over the legal age of consent for 'adult' fiction.

Spoilers:                          Only spoils for those who don't like B/G

Feedback:                       Welcome.

Pairing:                            B/G (what a surprise)

Summary:                       Buffy convinces Giles she really is a big girl now. You've been warned.

Certain

Chapter 4

"Giles, I didn't know you could cook like this."

"Oh it's all owed to Delia Smith."

"Who?" asked Buffy. Her voice rising at the mention of another woman's name.

"Oh, she's a chef, well a TV Chef." He explained, smiling at the realization that Buffy was Jealous. Over HIM.

"Oh." She flushed red, right down to her….. "I thought Willow was going to start jumping up and down when I told her where I was going tonight."

"Hmm? Oh. Yes, I'll bet."  Why did something not feel right? A niggling feeling he'd had all day. Something, just… He tried to dismiss the thought. "I'll get dessert."

When he came back carrying two plates of cheesecake with a red berry sauce drizzled around the plate. "Giles, if  I didn't know better, I'd say you were hiding Delia whats-her-name in that kitchen!"

"You mean that and the earlier incident with the filo parcels?" They both smiled at the memory.

"Giles?"

"Hmm"

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I…" He stopped and looked at her. "There's this feeling that somehow, none of this is right." She nodded slowly. "I don't know Buffy. I don't know whether my sub-conscious is trying to sabotage it, telling me I don't deserve this. Or. Or what really." She moved out of her seat, walked around to his side of the table and planted herself on his lap. "You think that you don't deserve this?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe it's time you stopped putting me on a pedestal. I'm just Buffy, Giles. And you deserve more love than I could ever hope to give you in ten lifetimes, but I'm going to do my best to give you that love in the one that I've got, so unless you've changed your mind about how you feel, then this is right."

He looked at her earnestly and for a moment she actually feared that he had changed his mind. Until his hand slid up her skirt that was. "Let's just see what happens tonight alright my love?"

"Okay Giles." She leant in to kiss him and felt him wrap his arm under her legs and stand, he carried her to the sofa and laid her atop the mountain of cushions without letting go of her or breaking the kiss. A tingling was beginning in her spine and a fire in her belly. –Please let him make love to me tonight, even if I can only ever have one night before he comes to his senses and realizes he isn't in love with this silly little girl.-

The thought sliced through her like a cold knife.

She suddenly froze under his caress. Oh Lord. This was it. She had changed her mind. The thought of actually getting naked with him had finally got to her. He dropped his hands away from her chest like a naughty school boy. What had he done? Shame and guilt washed over him.

"Giles" She whispered.

"It's alright. I understand. Do-do you want me to drive you home?"

"What? NO. Giles, Giles look at me."

She swung her legs off the sofa, knelt opposite him and took his face in her hands, forcing him to face her.

"Giles…Rupert" she tried tentatively. The name sounded strange on her lips at first, but still, right. More right than Giles.

It was enough to make his eyes meet her gaze. She smiled at him and pushed her hands through his hair.

"You have to stop thinking the worst y'know"

"I know" He broke the look again.

She shuffled closer until their knees were touching, lifting his hand she kissed the raw knuckles and replaced it to just above her breast. To her relief he stroked the skin with his thumb. She pressed his hand with her own in reassurance.

"I was just thinking that I wanted you so much. I was praying you wouldn't realize you were not in love with me." She let the words hang between them giving him time to think about it.

"Buffy of course I'm in love with you, I have been for so long…"

"Exactly."

He looked at her in askance, trying to read what was going on behind her eyes, realizing what he saw was not what he had expected. It was as though somebody had lifted a veil and he saw a different Buffy before him.

"Giles, you went away to make me grow up. And despite my best efforts to the contrary, I did. But I don't think you see it."

"I don't understand…"

She took a breath and wondered how to explain this. "It wasn't just about taking responsibility. With it came…" She searched for the words "a new realization. About who I am and what I want…about you…. About life. I know that sounds a bit psycoanalysis, but my expressions come from too much Oprah."

This at least raised a smile to his lips.  "To you I'm still the Buffy you left a year ago. You fell in love with Buffy the Girl, Buffy the Slayer. And you never made a move on it, not just because you thought I'd reject you, but because you felt you were doing something wrong. Lusting after a teenager. Am I right?"

He removed his hand from her chest, instantly missing the steady rhythm of her heart. Rocking back onto his heels he studied his hands in his lap. "Yes." It was no more than a whisper.

She reached out for his hand, not wanting to lose the contact with him. "Rupert, when was the last time we had a normal conversation? One that didn't involve Demon's or Vampire's or Wicca's or Dawn?"

He thought for a moment. When had they last held a 'normal' conversation? The only time he could remember was "When we were decorating".

"Mmmhmm. And what did we talk about? Me. My life. Rupert, I hardly know you. I don't know anything about your family, your home in England, what you miss about it. What you like about being here….nothing." She smiled at him. "I want to know….but…you've got to be able to talk to me like an adult…." This line wasn't getting the point across well so she decided to change tack. "Today when you said that an age difference could complicate a relationship, you were talking about having different values, different tastes, ideas, right?"

"Yes. Your interests, your priorities, they change over time…"

"I've noticed that."

"You have?" He actually looked surprised. It confirmed everything she had just said.

"Yes Rupert. That's what I'm trying to tell you." She maneuvered her hand inside of his and gently tugged him back up to her, she wanted to feel his warmth, his strength, just to be near him. Pleased he did not resist she placed his hands on her waist before linking her fingers behind his head, stroking his jaw with her thumbs.

"Look at me Rupert."

That name again. There was something in the way she said it. He felt both as though he was going to melt and as though he were talking to a stranger at the same time. He obeyed her request.

"I am not the Buffy that you left. I'm the new, improved version." Her light tone dropped to a softer tone with a touch of guilt. "The one that doesn't cover up her feelings by ridiculing you. The one who is capable of being honest with herself. Taking responsibility for my own actions. Hell I can even get Dawn to do her homework most of the time. Rupert you were right. I don't need you. But I want you. I love you. Real, heart-warming, passionate, love. And I really want you to feel the same. But I know in my heart of hearts that after the way I've behaved, after what you buried for so long. It's going to take a while. I don't want a man who is going to feel guilty everytime he makes love to me."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she pressed a finger against his lips. Tracing the outline she pulled his head down toward her, closing her eyes and hoping he would comply because she wasn't tall enough to close the gap between them herself.  She kissed him gently, his lips responded tentatively and she pulled away, satisfied that she was being understood.

He coughed gently "So could I perhaps take you out for a drink sometime Ms Summers?" She laughed with him. And nodded readily.

"Should I give you my number?"

He dropped his voice conspiratorially "Oh well, actually I've already got it. You see I've been stalking you for the past six years disguised as a stuffy old librarian in a tweed suit." She laughed with him again and he thought he had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. And that was it. Right there. The moment struck him and reached out endlessly as it slowly dawned on him that he had taken the first step on the road to happiness. There was a beautiful woman in his arms, laughing with him. Looking at him with love, lust and a world filled with promise in her eyes. This wasn't his Buffy. This was the Buffy he had been waiting to fall in love with.

She looked up at him and saw the change in the way his eyes appraised her.  Instinct took over as she licked her lips, batted her eyelashes and her smile became seductive. She hadn't realized he would be able to look at her with fresh eyes so quickly, she had expected it to take weeks, months of dating, getting to know one another before he could accept her as a an equal partner, could make love to her without shame. Five minutes ago, she had fully expected to be going home to bed alone. Possibly never with Rupert. But the way he looked at her now….

"Buffy." He laughed gently at the thought which occurred to him. "I wish I had some other name by which to call you." He explained gently.

"No need…it's in your eyes…" He nodded his concurrence.

"Rupert I don't have to be at work until tomorrow afternoon. And if you don't do this, I'm going to rip your clothes off with my teeth. Guilt or not." She assured him solemnly.

"Oh. Well we can't have that. I only bought this shirt a week ago."

Without further ado he was gathering her into his embrace, his mouth bearing down on hers. Gone was the furtive, gentle kisses of earlier, his lips, his tongue were creating sensations all through her body. She had never experienced a passion that was so tender before and she gave herself up to it completely, once again trusting all to this man she barely knew. 

As his mouth left hers she gasped for air, then gasped again in surprise and pleasure as all at once a hand trailed up her spine, another caressed her bottom, he began to kiss her neck and her collar bone and she felt his erection against her stomach.

He pulled back and for one unsteady moment she clung to him as she thought he had changed his mind, that he couldn't go through with making love to her yet after all.  He was lifting her, quite literally to her feet and she swayed against him, the feel of his body pressing against hers was sending hot flames through her body. As he searched her eyes once more for any sign of doubt before resuming their kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up until he was lifting her again, hands once more caressing her backside, moaning his desire into her mouth when the only pantyline he could find was no more substantial than a seam.

She hooked her legs around his hips, the texture and shape of the fly of his jeans, and the mounting pressure behind it adding to her already evident excitement. This allowed his hands to roam further and he took the opportunity to unzip her dress. With gentle encouragement it slipped softly from her shoulders and a sigh escaped him as she wriggled her arms free one at a time. Her breasts were fuller than he had ever noticed and now they bounced gently in front of him as she moved. Freeing herself completely she caught the look on his face and was gratified to find he was almost drooling. Her imagination let fly in anticipation of what he was thinking about doing to her and she closed her eyes and ground herself against the ever-increasing stiffness contained within his jeans.  Hhmmm, time to get him out of those.

She looked at him steadily as he held her with one hand, tracing an invisible line down between her breasts, circling them, across her stomach up and over a nipple. His touch was feather light and she was just about ready to scream 'just take me!' when suddenly he cupped her roughly, turned and smothered her back against the wall, his hands were everywhere, his mouth followed where it could, then they were sliding and Buffy felt reality slipping away as he pressed his body against her and maneuvered her down the wall until she could put her legs down and stand. All hesitance gone, his hands explored her body, teasing, pressing….

Only two coherent thoughts entered her head. First that her legs were not going to support her much longer, slayer strength or not, and second he was wearing too many clothes for her liking.

He stopped and stood to face her. His breath was ragged, and he had a look about him that she had never seen before, and frankly, it was sexy as hell. He raked a hand into her hair, the elegant style long since replaced by a wild mane, and stroked her face. He appeared to be memorizing every detail of her face and body, his lips still moved as he saw in his mind's eye just how he was going to make this an experience she would never forget.

Buffy had come back to reality reluctantly, but saw her opportunity as he drank her in.  In an instant she had unbuttoned his shirt and had moved on to his belt. Soon he was helping her by removing his shirt fully and shrugging off the jeans she had started on. She took a step toward him. Her turn to drive him wild….

She took him in her hand through the soft silk of his boxers and led him upstairs, teasing all the way.

Once upstairs she turned, sat and removed his underwear.  He moved to push her back on the bed but she resisted. On the bed-side table there was a new pack of condoms. Taking him in hand once again she took up the packet with her other hand and unwound the plastic wrapper with her teeth. His hand was in her hair again, massaging the scalp. She unhooked the box and took out a condom, again with her teeth, tossing the packet onto the floor she found the correct side then ripped the foil open.  Knowing he expected her to take it out and get straight to business she tossed the open wrapper onto the cabinet without removing the condom. -I've never done that before, I'm not going to spoil this moment, and I'm going to have some fun with you yet mister- she smiled at him in response to his frown.

With his hand still in her hair she continued massaging his erection, watching his handsome face contort with disbelief and anticipation as she gently lowered her head down and used just the tip of her tongue to lick him from base to tip in one long slow movement. His hand gripped her hair briefly before he quickly released it; she guessed he was worried he might hurt her. It's not my hair you need to worry about hurting she thought absently as she realized she was never going to be able to carry out her original intentions.  Instead she licked her lips and placed a kiss at his very tip, allowing her lips to linger on the salty taste of him before sliding them down as far as she could around his head. His breathing was very heavy now, little whimpers and moans escaping him. She felt him twitch and realized it was taking him great effort to hold back from pushing himself further. She had never been in a situation where she could not have obliged before and she felt a little wave of trepidation that she was going to get this whole thing embarrassingly wrong. Fortunately she decided until she thought of something more, she could simply tease him with her tongue. His breathing was becoming shallower by the second until he pulled her head back smoothly and managed to squeeze out a strangled 'stop'.

She smiled to know she had achieved the desired effect, without giving her nerves away. He reached down and picked her up, throwing her across the bed onto her back. She laughed with delight, realizing this was going to be the most amazing experience. He pressed his body over hers, kissing her deeply and allowing his hands to roam her body. The tiny scrap of material she remained wearing  disappeared like magic in his hands and then he was touching what had remained hidden, pressing further, discovering her bud and causing waves of electricity to shoot through her. Meanwhile he covered her nipple with his mouth, teasing, sucking and she arched her back encouraging him further. Having ensured he gave equal attention to both, he moved further down. Any nervousness at the newness of what she was about to experience evaporated at the first touch of his tongue at her entrance. It was like nothing she had ever imagined and the tension came to it's height as he slipped his tongue right into her. She felt her whole world explode and cried out his name with the release.

He moved back up until once again he semi-covered her body with his own, a wolfish smile played on his lips as he rolled to retrieve the condom she had teased him with earlier. He rolled it on with shaking fingers and noticed she was only just coming down from her orgasm.

She was reaching out to him and he leant into her embrace. Her legs wrapped around his back and she was whispering 'Rupert, please' into his ear. Slowly, knowing that to take her harshly while she was still sensitive would hurt he entered her. She gasped slightly and he held perfectly still. A murmur escaped her lips and although he didn't catch what she said, her legs wrapped around him pulling him down and her hips bucking against him ensured he got the message. Reciting the Greek alphabet to hold himself back a little he stroked gently, once, twice, watching her face for any further sign of pain or discomfort. Finding none and feeling her push against him with more force he increased his speed. Her head was thrown back once more and he felt her tighten around him. The sensation was too much and he gave up all restraint, thrusting into her faster and faster until with a primal cry of his own, he felt himself come with a force which was more than anything he had experienced in an unaltered state.

Slowly coming back to earth he lent over her whispering his love into her neck, her hair. When he looked at her face, a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth and tears were spilling from her closed eyes.

"Buffy?" His voice was still husky.

She opened her eyes to look at him and her smile widened.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No. No. Just happy…floating" she tried to explain.

He eased himself away from her to deal with the condom, which he threw into the dustbin near the door. She felt her body mourn the loss of him and she quietly waited for him to turn back to her before snuggling against his chest as he lay down.