Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything else in this story

Chapter Five:

"Riku, I am your father."

"Who said that?" Riku asked, still holding that stamp collection.

"Umm...your father." A figure stepped out of a clown car. He looked strange.

"You're not my father."

"How would you know? He could be!" Sora glanced up at the clown.

He isn't really a clown, I just called him that.

The man jumped in a hole when he saw Sora. Well, first he had to dig it, but then he jumped in.

"Riku is my half-twin! Riku is my half-twin! If I didn't know any worse, I'd say he was Sora's father too!" Kairi fell over as she contracted the plague. "I don't feel so good. I want my pup...wait, I'm not Sora. I want candy!!!"

Thousands and thousands of pounds of candy fell from the sky as Kairi rolled around on the ground.

Sora looked up, "That never worked when I wanted my puppy!"

"Yeah, well you're not a princess, are ya?! Bwaahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!" Kairi laughed, then sat up completely fine, "You can have some of my candy."

"Thank you." Sora sat down next to her. He threw his head back, causing it to roll off down a very steep hill and...okay that didn't happen.

He threw his head back to catch the candy in his mouth when Cloud knocked his head off and it went rolling...huh? Oh! Sorry, wrong thought.

Now where was I?

He threw his head at Riku, "Ah ha ha ha ha!!!!"

Kairi fell back on a monkey and choked on a Jolly Rancher.

Or did she fall back on the Jolly Rancher and choke on the monkey?

Or did she just choke the monkey?

Who really cares?

"I want my puppy!!!!" Sora cried as he jumped into the hole with that man, "Are you my Daddy?"

"Aaaaahhhh!!!!" the man tried climbing up the wall, but couldn't make it to the top. He looked around when he got an idea.

He picked Sora up and threw him out of the hole.

"My Daddy doesn't love me!!!" Sora ran over Kairi and the monkey she was choking. "Sorry."

"A pickle!!!" Cloud ran to the zoo. Everybody else went too.

"I wanna see the lions." Leon told them.

"Those aren't my pants!" Cloud shouted as he climbed the Empire State Building.

Okay, since when is the Empire State Building in a zoo on Destiny Islands?!

Aerith finally got out of the ditch and went to the pancake capital of the world. "I love waffles!! Are waffles served at pancake houses?"

"If they have any money." Cloud replied as he left the zoo. Everybody else left too.

"I didn't get to see the lions!!!" Leon pulled out his Gunblade and started swinging it around.

Don't worry, it only crippled a few innocent by-standers, but it may have caused some brain damage to Cloud. But then, how could you tell?

"Great, Leon, now he's gonna be like this forever!" Yuffie declared stepping into view.

Why is she in my story?!

"Shut up!!" Leon swung the Gunblade and sent Yuffie flying all the way to Indiana where she will remain the rest of the story, knocked out in a corn field.

Oh, that's why.

"I have a head." Cloud pointed to his foot, "It's attached to me."

Cloud dramatically slapped his chest with both hands.

Aerith looked at him for a second, "I think I like him better like this."