It was 7:00 and he still hadn't decided if he was going to go to the bridge. He really didn't want to go he figured if he talked to her, all the feelings that he had pushed deep down would re surface. He didn't need that; he needed to move on. He couldn't force his problems on her, he couldn't let her back in, it would tare him apart. So he decided that he would write her a letter, and go early and put it on the bridge where she would see it. He sat down and got a pen and paper and wrote.
Rory
I'm not sure what to say to you. I don't know why you want to talk to me, after all I did to you. I know I was a real jerk to you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you without saying goodbye. I never told you what caused me to leave, even if you have heard it from someone else I think you deserve to hear it from me.
I told you a long time ago that I knew I wasn't going to collage so why try in high school. I didn't care, I have never cared. When I started dating you I promised my self that I would try, that I wouldn't let you down. But that's not me, I have always let the people closest to me down. I pushed myself away from my mother. I was always a problem for her, a disappointment. She never wanted me, so I pushed and let myself believe I didn't care about her. I got in some trouble and got sent here. That's when I met you.
The conditions for my staying at Luke's was that I would stay out of trouble and that I would graduate. I know it may not seem like it, but I like Luke. He was the first person who ever tried to set me on the right path, he kept me out of trouble for the most part. I think he really was the first one to care. Then there was you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I lost you. I came into your life and caused problems for you and Dean and you and your mom. I turned your life upside down, or so I thought. It was really my life that I turned upside down. You made me want to be something. But wanting and doing are two different things. I was so set in my ways, that I couldn't change. You let me in, and I just pushed you out. I have never been good at relationships, all previous ones were purely sexual. With you it was different. I did not know how to deal, you were special, you tried to help me, but I wouldn't let you in to me. I was afraid that once you got to really know me, you would be disappointed at what you saw. I was just a scared angry little boy hiding and mad at the world. I didn't graduate, I would have to redo the 12th grade.
But then out of nowhere and with no warning, Jimmy came. He's my dad. I had never known him, he ran when I was born, couldn't handle his mistakes. I saw this as my opportunity/ I had let down both you and Luke, and now I could escape. I ran. I ran from my problems just like Liz, just like Jimmy. I followed their influence, not Luke's or yours. I couldn't bear to stay and see the disappointment in Luke's eyes he had trusted me to do well. But worse I couldn't face you. You have so much going for you, you had faith in me. I ran from you because of that. I never meant to hurt you, it was the last thing I wanted. But its natural for me, I push those who get to close. I haven't talked to you, because I don't want to hurt you again. But more I don't want to hurt myself. I will be leaving and I just can't do it all over again.
That's why I can't meet you. Don't ever blame your self for me leaving, it was never your fault. Please just except what I have said, don't try and talk to me. I have said all that I need to, to make you understand. I will never forget you Rory Gilmore. You will succeed in whatever you do. Just smile knowing that you changed my world.
Jess
Two hours later, he wiped his desk clear of crumpled up pieces of paper, put the letter in an envelope, and grabbed tape and his coat. He got to the bridge just after nine. She wasn't there. He walked to the middle and placed the letter down and taped it. He looked around and walked away. But he didn't go far. He stood in the shadows of a tree and watched her come. At first it looked as though she didn't see the letter. But then she slowly sat down and picked it up. He watched her carefully open it, and look around, then back at the paper. She started crying softly. She read it over a couple of times, all the while crying. He sighed and made his way back to Luke's Diner.
