Hey guys...once again, thanks for the reviews...
Aw, Halo, u didn't have to apologize...as long as u didn't mean it, it's ok ^_^ No hard feelings, ne??
Anyways...regents and finals coming up...but as soon as they're all over, freedom!!
Jyuuni will be finished soon...it's just that I only have time to update one chapter now and flipped a coin...lala Onigiri Mermaid!! ^_^
~Maeven~
Chapter Seven: Steps in Courting a Woman - Round I
Humming softly to herself, Tohru glided up the stairs to her room. She twirled the rose carefully between her fingers and reaching her door, she reached for the knob...except for the fact that the door across from her suddenly swung open and a hand shot out to yank her in.
"EEP!"
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
Blinking nervously, she stared up into a pair of gleaming crimson eyes.
"Ah, carrot-top, stop it. You're freaking her out," Uotani drawled lazily; she laid comfortably on the bed with Hanajima and Kisa perched next to her.
"Oh, I'm sorry...am I freaking you out? Well, don't be...I HAVEN'T KILLED YOU YET!!" He snarled.
"K - Kyou-kun, what's the matter?" Tohru stuttered.
"Oh, he's just experiencing a case of extreme male possessiveness bordering along the lines of resentment and jealousy regarding your escapade to another rivaling male's territory," Hanajima stated monotonously.
"I . . . see." Tohru and Kyou continued to look puzzled.
Kisa spoke up helpfully, "It means onii-chan's jealous of you and Sohma- san."
Before Tohru could react, Kyou roared, "HA! ME?! JEALOUS? OF THAT PUNY NEZUMI AND THE ONIGIRI?! Hahahahaha. Don't make me laugh...ha."
"Oh, then in that case, I guess you wouldn't mind the rose our sweet little "onigiri" got from that "puny nezumi"," Uotani smirked, propping up her chin with her hand.
"WHAT?!"
Kisa bit her lip anxiously. "Onii -"
"Shhhh...just sit back and enjoy the show; watching your brother make a fool of himself never fails to amuse me," Uotani grinned happily.
Tohru stuttered, "Um, well, Yuki-kun -"
"YOU'RE ON FIRST NAME BASIS??"
"Well, I - I also call you -"
"THAT'S DIFFERENT!!! HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN EACH OTHER? YEARS! HOW LONG YOU'VE KNOWN HIM? A COUPLE OF HOURS???"
"Well, he's my friend and -"
"FRIEND? HE'S A HUMAN! HUMAN PLUS MERMAIDS DON'T EQUAL FRIENDS! HUMANS EQUAL SCUM...WASTE...TWO LEGGED FREAKS...WORLD SUBTRACT HUMANS EQUALS PARADISE!!!"
"What is this, Kyon-kyon? A math lesson?" Uotani raised her eyebrow.
"SHUDDAP!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING HERE??!!"
"It doesn't count as talking when you're screaming nonsense."
"SHUDDAP!!!! Ahem, now Tohru, hand over that ugly thing."
"What? My rose? I can't! It's a gift!"
"TOHRU!! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED?? HUMANS EQUALS SCUM. HUMAN THINGS EQUALS SCUMY THINGS!! SCUMY THINGS EQUALS GARBAGE! GARBAGE EQUALS WASTE BIN! WASTE BIN EQUALS -"
"We get the idea, Kyon-kyon. Any more of that and you'll equal crippled and dead soon."
Kyou glared at his blonde sister and turned back to Tohru, folding his arms. "Tohru, we are different...you shouldn't be associating so closely with humans...nor should you be accepting gifts from them...they're all evil."
"Yu - Yuki is different. I believe - I believe not all humans could be evil -"
Kyou groaned and growled, "Tohru, give it to me."
"N - no!"
"What?! Give it!" He tugged at her hands.
"No! Kyou-kun!!" She pulled back.
"Don't Kyou-kun me! Listen to me!! Give it!"
"No!! I want it!!"
"Be good and release now!!
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!!"
"Yes!!!"
"Boy, it's amazing how we've matured over these years. It's a true sign of the state civilization have reached," Hanajima remarked dryly as the three girls watched the tug-of-war.
"Ow!" Kyou tugged the rose free but in the process, pierced himself with a thorn. He dropped it and accidentally crushed it beneath his feet. The whole room grew silent. Staring down at the red crumpled petals, he looked up sheepishly. "Oops."
Tohru looked devastated and tears began to fill her large green eyes.
"Aw, Tohru, don't - don't - I - it's better off this way...I can get you any flower you want - this one doesn't matter - it's - it's evil - it poked me! It did! I was bleeding! Really!" Kyou sputtered desperately.
"You - you - Kyou, you - you're a big meanie!!!" Tohru broke into tears and ran across the hall, slamming her door in Kyou's face.
Uotani whistled low. "Ooooo, now you're in for it. Tohru hasn't called you a meanie since the time you tied her hairs in knots while she was sleeping and she had to spend a week undoing them. And this time...she included the word big."
"Shut up," Kyou said glumly, plopping himself in a large chair.
There was silence for two seconds then, "Kyou?"
"What?!"
"If that wasn't jealousy, then I don't know what is."
"Shut up."
* * *
"Shut up!"
"Bwahahahahaha!!!!" Shigure continued laughing. "Aw, Yuki, you always had a way with words...but this time, I think you went a wee overboard! 'Tohru, you're a - an-' How did it go, Momiji?"
"A thornless rose," the boy supplied cheerfully.
"Yes, that's it. Bwahahahahaha!!!"
The dark-faced Yuki snapped again, "Are you done yet?!"
"Um...not quite...HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem. Okay, I'm - no, no, not yet - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Haha . . . ha."
"Gure!! Shame on you! Laughing at my darling brother like that! I thought it was simply marvelous how Yuki finally commenced the stage of romance! Oh, Yuki!! I feel so close to you now that you chose to share this wonderful experience with us!" Ayame cried out dramatically.
"I didn't, baka. You all spied on me and eavesdropped. Honestly, I can never get a moment of privacy," Yuki gritted his teeth.
"Ah, Yuki, that was really priceless...the corniest lines ever!! And here I thought that I was the only one in the family who excelled in those!! How did you ever managed to spout those out??" Shigure grinned jovially.
The boy flushed and growled, "Get out of my room...all of you."
"Aw, Yuki, I thought it was perfect! And that's pretty good coming from my high standards," Ayame beamed.
Yuki groaned and slid into a seat, running a hand through his hair. "Great. God, I must have been so sappy...her tooth rotted out."
"Don't worry. That ditz is so bright and cheery, I doubt anything can be more sickeningly saccharine than her," Hiro stated inattentively from the doorway.
"God! Did the whole palace hear about the conversation?!"
"Pretty much."
Yuki covered his eyes, groaning.
"You know what you need? You need to learn THE STEPS IN COURTING A WOMAN!!" Shigure and Ayame chimed in.
"What? The steps in courting a woman?"
"No, silly, it's THE STEPS IN COURTING A WOMAN!!" they boomed loudly.
* * *
"Huh?" Kyou blinked.
"Well, it's actually quite simple...and seeing as you're my poor pathetic little brother, we'll help you out. Tohru is already like a sister to me...being her sister-in-law will practically make it official!" Uotani grinned lopsidedly.
The boy blushed. "S - shut up. You're annoying."
"Eh? Then you don't want to learn THE STEPS?"
"Well...I'm listening, aren't I? Continue."
"Ahem, well it's like this..."
* * *
STEP ONE: TALK TO THE GIRL; TRY TO FOCUS ON HER INTERESTS AND NOT YOURS...YOU MAY ATTEMPT JOKES, STORIES, FLIRTING, ETC. (IF THIS FAILS, ABANDON THE TALKING AND ACTIVATE THE LISTENING!)
Kyou cleared his throat nervously. Darting a look at his sisters and the emotionless denpa, he whispered, "You sure this going to work?"
Uotani threw up her hands in frustration, "How many times do you have to ask?! Just go already! She's down for breakfast already!!"
He felt panicked and butterflies somersaulted in his stomach. "Shit. I haven't felt this nervous since dad forced me to make a speech in front of the whole kingdom. You three are going to be behind me, right? You don't think she's still mad at me, do you?"
Kisa nodded and smiled softly up at him, "You'll do fine. Onee-chan is so nice...yesterday night, she already forgave you...she actually worried that you were going to be mad at her for her "harsh words" ...she's definitely not angry with you...I think she'll love you for sure."
He grinned tenderly down at the little girl and ruffled her hair. "Thanks, kiddo. I'll try not to let ya down."
* * *
"I don't know why I'm doing this...I must be out of my mind," Yuki muttered as he walked down to the dining hall with his brother and his cousin behind him.
"Yuki, have no fear!! Your brother is here!! Have my ideas ever failed?!"
The boy faltered, thought for a moment, and began to turn back around.
Shigure turned back the boy and continued to march him down. "Relax, I've got a lot of experience with girls and know everything that will surely melt their hearts!! That's how come Mit-chan's always chasing me around."
Yuki snapped, "Really? And here I was, thinking it had something to do with her wanting to kill you!"
The older man gasped. "Whatever gave you that horrible idea?!"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the butcher knife she was holding?!"
"Hmmm...yes, now that you mentioned it, it does seem highly plausible...but whatever, just follow my instructions and the rest will take place," the man shoved the boy into the room firmly and waved cheerfully. "God bless you."
Yuki grimaced, took a deep breath, and began to walk to the oblivious girl sitting at the large table, buttering her toast.
* * *
Uotani threw Kyou into the room. "Good luck! We'll be here!!"
The boy growled lowly and turned around slowly. He felt his temper rising when he saw Tohru wasn't alone. Yuki was making his way slowly but surely towards the girl with a determined look on his face. The human prince looked across the room and met Kyou's eyes.
Kyou folded his arms, raising his eyebrow in a challenge. Yuki smirked in response. Both boys began bolting forward, racing to the girl's side.
"TOHRU!"
"HONDA-SAN!"
The bewildered girl looked up as each of the two boys grabbed one of her arms and yanked hard. "COME WITH ME! IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY! LET'S TAKE A WALK AND YOU CAN TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF!" Kyou and Yuki looked at each other, startled and then glared.
Tohru blinked and hesitantly said, "Ano, are you two feeling alright today? I -"
"Tohru, you like sand castles, don't you? When we were little, we always played together...if you want, we could have a little trip to the beach and make sand castles again. Isn't that one of your interests? Won't that be fun?" Kyou asked.
Yuki smirked. "Yea...for a baby. Tohru, do you want to visit my secret base again? Aren't you interested in flowers? I can teach you more about gardening -"
The other boy snorted, "Ha! Gardening's for sissies..."
Yuki's eyes flashed. "Excuse me, baka neko?"
"You heard me, kuso nezumi."
They dropped the girl's arms and went into their martial arts stance. Yuki growled, "Come on...this "sissy" would take the time to throw you little baby out the window any day."
Kyou sneered, "I'm not scared of you...you dork."
"Infantile."
"Prima donna."
"Imbecile."
"Girly girl."
"Puerile."
"I don't know what that meant but I do know you're look like a pixie!! An ugly pixie!"
"Oh, yeah, real mature. Why don't you just throw in 'I know that's you but what am I?'?"
"Sticks and stones might break my bones but your stupid little blabbing would never hurt me!!"
"Oh fine...since we're playing this way...you're glue and I'm rubber, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!!"
"Oh yeah??? Well . . . . . ."
* * *
"Are they serious?? How long are they going to keep this up?" Uotani mumbled, peering into the room from the doorway.
Kisa said sadly, "Onii-chan's crashed and burned."
"No, Kisa, he never even got off the ground," Hanajima said quietly.
* * *
From the other doorway, Shigure sighed, "Oh jeez...so I guess step one failed, huh?"
Ayame pouted. "This is so disappointing!! I was hoping to begin on a wedding dress today!!"
"For Tohru?"
"Huh? What are you talking about? For me!"
"But, Aya, who were you planning to get married to?"
"No one! I just thought a wedding dress would look very pretty on me, don't you agree??"
"Oh...uh, of course...yea..."
Aw, Halo, u didn't have to apologize...as long as u didn't mean it, it's ok ^_^ No hard feelings, ne??
Anyways...regents and finals coming up...but as soon as they're all over, freedom!!
Jyuuni will be finished soon...it's just that I only have time to update one chapter now and flipped a coin...lala Onigiri Mermaid!! ^_^
~Maeven~
Chapter Seven: Steps in Courting a Woman - Round I
Humming softly to herself, Tohru glided up the stairs to her room. She twirled the rose carefully between her fingers and reaching her door, she reached for the knob...except for the fact that the door across from her suddenly swung open and a hand shot out to yank her in.
"EEP!"
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
Blinking nervously, she stared up into a pair of gleaming crimson eyes.
"Ah, carrot-top, stop it. You're freaking her out," Uotani drawled lazily; she laid comfortably on the bed with Hanajima and Kisa perched next to her.
"Oh, I'm sorry...am I freaking you out? Well, don't be...I HAVEN'T KILLED YOU YET!!" He snarled.
"K - Kyou-kun, what's the matter?" Tohru stuttered.
"Oh, he's just experiencing a case of extreme male possessiveness bordering along the lines of resentment and jealousy regarding your escapade to another rivaling male's territory," Hanajima stated monotonously.
"I . . . see." Tohru and Kyou continued to look puzzled.
Kisa spoke up helpfully, "It means onii-chan's jealous of you and Sohma- san."
Before Tohru could react, Kyou roared, "HA! ME?! JEALOUS? OF THAT PUNY NEZUMI AND THE ONIGIRI?! Hahahahaha. Don't make me laugh...ha."
"Oh, then in that case, I guess you wouldn't mind the rose our sweet little "onigiri" got from that "puny nezumi"," Uotani smirked, propping up her chin with her hand.
"WHAT?!"
Kisa bit her lip anxiously. "Onii -"
"Shhhh...just sit back and enjoy the show; watching your brother make a fool of himself never fails to amuse me," Uotani grinned happily.
Tohru stuttered, "Um, well, Yuki-kun -"
"YOU'RE ON FIRST NAME BASIS??"
"Well, I - I also call you -"
"THAT'S DIFFERENT!!! HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN EACH OTHER? YEARS! HOW LONG YOU'VE KNOWN HIM? A COUPLE OF HOURS???"
"Well, he's my friend and -"
"FRIEND? HE'S A HUMAN! HUMAN PLUS MERMAIDS DON'T EQUAL FRIENDS! HUMANS EQUAL SCUM...WASTE...TWO LEGGED FREAKS...WORLD SUBTRACT HUMANS EQUALS PARADISE!!!"
"What is this, Kyon-kyon? A math lesson?" Uotani raised her eyebrow.
"SHUDDAP!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TALKING HERE??!!"
"It doesn't count as talking when you're screaming nonsense."
"SHUDDAP!!!! Ahem, now Tohru, hand over that ugly thing."
"What? My rose? I can't! It's a gift!"
"TOHRU!! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED?? HUMANS EQUALS SCUM. HUMAN THINGS EQUALS SCUMY THINGS!! SCUMY THINGS EQUALS GARBAGE! GARBAGE EQUALS WASTE BIN! WASTE BIN EQUALS -"
"We get the idea, Kyon-kyon. Any more of that and you'll equal crippled and dead soon."
Kyou glared at his blonde sister and turned back to Tohru, folding his arms. "Tohru, we are different...you shouldn't be associating so closely with humans...nor should you be accepting gifts from them...they're all evil."
"Yu - Yuki is different. I believe - I believe not all humans could be evil -"
Kyou groaned and growled, "Tohru, give it to me."
"N - no!"
"What?! Give it!" He tugged at her hands.
"No! Kyou-kun!!" She pulled back.
"Don't Kyou-kun me! Listen to me!! Give it!"
"No!! I want it!!"
"Be good and release now!!
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!!"
"Yes!!!"
"Boy, it's amazing how we've matured over these years. It's a true sign of the state civilization have reached," Hanajima remarked dryly as the three girls watched the tug-of-war.
"Ow!" Kyou tugged the rose free but in the process, pierced himself with a thorn. He dropped it and accidentally crushed it beneath his feet. The whole room grew silent. Staring down at the red crumpled petals, he looked up sheepishly. "Oops."
Tohru looked devastated and tears began to fill her large green eyes.
"Aw, Tohru, don't - don't - I - it's better off this way...I can get you any flower you want - this one doesn't matter - it's - it's evil - it poked me! It did! I was bleeding! Really!" Kyou sputtered desperately.
"You - you - Kyou, you - you're a big meanie!!!" Tohru broke into tears and ran across the hall, slamming her door in Kyou's face.
Uotani whistled low. "Ooooo, now you're in for it. Tohru hasn't called you a meanie since the time you tied her hairs in knots while she was sleeping and she had to spend a week undoing them. And this time...she included the word big."
"Shut up," Kyou said glumly, plopping himself in a large chair.
There was silence for two seconds then, "Kyou?"
"What?!"
"If that wasn't jealousy, then I don't know what is."
"Shut up."
* * *
"Shut up!"
"Bwahahahahaha!!!!" Shigure continued laughing. "Aw, Yuki, you always had a way with words...but this time, I think you went a wee overboard! 'Tohru, you're a - an-' How did it go, Momiji?"
"A thornless rose," the boy supplied cheerfully.
"Yes, that's it. Bwahahahahaha!!!"
The dark-faced Yuki snapped again, "Are you done yet?!"
"Um...not quite...HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem. Okay, I'm - no, no, not yet - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Haha . . . ha."
"Gure!! Shame on you! Laughing at my darling brother like that! I thought it was simply marvelous how Yuki finally commenced the stage of romance! Oh, Yuki!! I feel so close to you now that you chose to share this wonderful experience with us!" Ayame cried out dramatically.
"I didn't, baka. You all spied on me and eavesdropped. Honestly, I can never get a moment of privacy," Yuki gritted his teeth.
"Ah, Yuki, that was really priceless...the corniest lines ever!! And here I thought that I was the only one in the family who excelled in those!! How did you ever managed to spout those out??" Shigure grinned jovially.
The boy flushed and growled, "Get out of my room...all of you."
"Aw, Yuki, I thought it was perfect! And that's pretty good coming from my high standards," Ayame beamed.
Yuki groaned and slid into a seat, running a hand through his hair. "Great. God, I must have been so sappy...her tooth rotted out."
"Don't worry. That ditz is so bright and cheery, I doubt anything can be more sickeningly saccharine than her," Hiro stated inattentively from the doorway.
"God! Did the whole palace hear about the conversation?!"
"Pretty much."
Yuki covered his eyes, groaning.
"You know what you need? You need to learn THE STEPS IN COURTING A WOMAN!!" Shigure and Ayame chimed in.
"What? The steps in courting a woman?"
"No, silly, it's THE STEPS IN COURTING A WOMAN!!" they boomed loudly.
* * *
"Huh?" Kyou blinked.
"Well, it's actually quite simple...and seeing as you're my poor pathetic little brother, we'll help you out. Tohru is already like a sister to me...being her sister-in-law will practically make it official!" Uotani grinned lopsidedly.
The boy blushed. "S - shut up. You're annoying."
"Eh? Then you don't want to learn THE STEPS?"
"Well...I'm listening, aren't I? Continue."
"Ahem, well it's like this..."
* * *
STEP ONE: TALK TO THE GIRL; TRY TO FOCUS ON HER INTERESTS AND NOT YOURS...YOU MAY ATTEMPT JOKES, STORIES, FLIRTING, ETC. (IF THIS FAILS, ABANDON THE TALKING AND ACTIVATE THE LISTENING!)
Kyou cleared his throat nervously. Darting a look at his sisters and the emotionless denpa, he whispered, "You sure this going to work?"
Uotani threw up her hands in frustration, "How many times do you have to ask?! Just go already! She's down for breakfast already!!"
He felt panicked and butterflies somersaulted in his stomach. "Shit. I haven't felt this nervous since dad forced me to make a speech in front of the whole kingdom. You three are going to be behind me, right? You don't think she's still mad at me, do you?"
Kisa nodded and smiled softly up at him, "You'll do fine. Onee-chan is so nice...yesterday night, she already forgave you...she actually worried that you were going to be mad at her for her "harsh words" ...she's definitely not angry with you...I think she'll love you for sure."
He grinned tenderly down at the little girl and ruffled her hair. "Thanks, kiddo. I'll try not to let ya down."
* * *
"I don't know why I'm doing this...I must be out of my mind," Yuki muttered as he walked down to the dining hall with his brother and his cousin behind him.
"Yuki, have no fear!! Your brother is here!! Have my ideas ever failed?!"
The boy faltered, thought for a moment, and began to turn back around.
Shigure turned back the boy and continued to march him down. "Relax, I've got a lot of experience with girls and know everything that will surely melt their hearts!! That's how come Mit-chan's always chasing me around."
Yuki snapped, "Really? And here I was, thinking it had something to do with her wanting to kill you!"
The older man gasped. "Whatever gave you that horrible idea?!"
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the butcher knife she was holding?!"
"Hmmm...yes, now that you mentioned it, it does seem highly plausible...but whatever, just follow my instructions and the rest will take place," the man shoved the boy into the room firmly and waved cheerfully. "God bless you."
Yuki grimaced, took a deep breath, and began to walk to the oblivious girl sitting at the large table, buttering her toast.
* * *
Uotani threw Kyou into the room. "Good luck! We'll be here!!"
The boy growled lowly and turned around slowly. He felt his temper rising when he saw Tohru wasn't alone. Yuki was making his way slowly but surely towards the girl with a determined look on his face. The human prince looked across the room and met Kyou's eyes.
Kyou folded his arms, raising his eyebrow in a challenge. Yuki smirked in response. Both boys began bolting forward, racing to the girl's side.
"TOHRU!"
"HONDA-SAN!"
The bewildered girl looked up as each of the two boys grabbed one of her arms and yanked hard. "COME WITH ME! IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY! LET'S TAKE A WALK AND YOU CAN TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOURSELF!" Kyou and Yuki looked at each other, startled and then glared.
Tohru blinked and hesitantly said, "Ano, are you two feeling alright today? I -"
"Tohru, you like sand castles, don't you? When we were little, we always played together...if you want, we could have a little trip to the beach and make sand castles again. Isn't that one of your interests? Won't that be fun?" Kyou asked.
Yuki smirked. "Yea...for a baby. Tohru, do you want to visit my secret base again? Aren't you interested in flowers? I can teach you more about gardening -"
The other boy snorted, "Ha! Gardening's for sissies..."
Yuki's eyes flashed. "Excuse me, baka neko?"
"You heard me, kuso nezumi."
They dropped the girl's arms and went into their martial arts stance. Yuki growled, "Come on...this "sissy" would take the time to throw you little baby out the window any day."
Kyou sneered, "I'm not scared of you...you dork."
"Infantile."
"Prima donna."
"Imbecile."
"Girly girl."
"Puerile."
"I don't know what that meant but I do know you're look like a pixie!! An ugly pixie!"
"Oh, yeah, real mature. Why don't you just throw in 'I know that's you but what am I?'?"
"Sticks and stones might break my bones but your stupid little blabbing would never hurt me!!"
"Oh fine...since we're playing this way...you're glue and I'm rubber, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!!"
"Oh yeah??? Well . . . . . ."
* * *
"Are they serious?? How long are they going to keep this up?" Uotani mumbled, peering into the room from the doorway.
Kisa said sadly, "Onii-chan's crashed and burned."
"No, Kisa, he never even got off the ground," Hanajima said quietly.
* * *
From the other doorway, Shigure sighed, "Oh jeez...so I guess step one failed, huh?"
Ayame pouted. "This is so disappointing!! I was hoping to begin on a wedding dress today!!"
"For Tohru?"
"Huh? What are you talking about? For me!"
"But, Aya, who were you planning to get married to?"
"No one! I just thought a wedding dress would look very pretty on me, don't you agree??"
"Oh...uh, of course...yea..."
