~~~~~
(We are now entering hell. Please keep your hands and elbows inside the cart)
I never though I'd change my opinion again
But you moved me in a way that I've never known
You moved me in a way that I've never known
But straight away you just moved into position again
You abused me in a way that I've never known
You abused me in a way that I've never known
So break me, shake me, hate me, take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
Just break me, shake me, hate me, take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
~~~~~
The alarm clock rang.
"Urr...." Goku groaned, and pulled his pillow out from underneath him and held it over his ears. The horrible clock continued to scream at him.
"Alright, alright..." he mumbled. He got out of bed, and turned the alarm off. Goku yawned, and stretched. He looked at the bed. As usual, Chichi was already downstairs preparing breakfast. He smiled. Geez, I don't know where I'd be without her ^_^
He went to have a shower.
~~~
Goku put on his clothes. He could smell Chichi making pancakes downstairs.
"Goku!" she called up.
"Coming!" Goku replied he headed towards the door.
"Goku..." a somewhat familiar voice hissed.
"Huh?" Goku turned around. He looked around the room. Nothing there. "Weird..." he mumbled.
"I must've imagined it..."
"Goku!"
"Coming!" Goku headed for the stairs.
He entered the kitchen. Goten was already sitting at the table.
"Hey dad." he greeted him. Goku smiled.
"Morning." he sat down.
"What took you so long?" Chichi asked, putting a plate of pancakes in front of him. Goku never needed to be told twice.
"I just...." Goku shook his head. He picked up his fork. "It's nothing."
"Really?" the same voice asked.
Goku gasped and dropped the fork when he realized who it was. He jerked his head round frantically trying to find him.
"Goku?" Chichi stared at him.
"Dad, what's up?" Goten asked.
"Didn't you hear that?!" Goku replied.
"I didn't hear anything." the same voice said innocently.
"There!" Goku cried out. He looked at his family. "You didn't hear anything?!"
"No..." Chichi looked at him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine!" Goku protested. He shook his head, and listened. Silence.
"... It's gone now..." he mumbled.
"Dad, we couldn't hear anything..." Goten told him.
"You couldn't...?" Goku put his hand on his head. He rubbed his temples. "I swear I heard him..."
"Heard who?" Chichi asked.
"... No. You're right." Goku nodded. "I couldn't have heard him. He's dead."
"Who?"
"Frieza. I thought I heard his voice." he chuckled. "But that's impossible."
"Yeah..." Chichi looked at him. "Listen... don't spar with Vegeta today, alright? In fact, don't train at all."
"Huh?" Goku frowned in confusion. "Why?"
"You're probably just stressed out. Why don't you have the day off?"
"Chichi, I'm fine. Really." Goku assured her.
"Well then if you're fine you can train tomorrow." Chichi said.
"......" Goku sighed. "Alright. I won't train. I'll just sit at home watching TV, bored out of my skull."
"Don't be like that!" Chichi frowned. "I'm only thinking of you!"
"Hey, relax. I was kidding ^_^"
~~~
"Goku! I'm going out for a couple of hours!" Chichi called. "I should be back before Goten comes home from school, though!"
"Okay!" Goku called back. He heard the door close. Goku couldn't wait to see Goten. It had been kinda boring here. But maybe it had done him good, he hadn't heard that stupid voice again. What was that?
Goku flipped through the TV channels. None of it really caught his eye.
"If only your father could see you now."
"Huh?!" Goku gasped, and jumped up off the couch. He looked around.
"That's better. Keep away from the sofa, you're a warrior, aren't you?" Frieza's voice smirked.
"Where are you?!" Goku demanded. "Show yourself!"
"Boo!"
"Bah!" Goku jumped as a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders. Frieza laughed.
"Sorry. Did I scare you?" he teased.
"But how?!" Goku spun around to face him. "How did you get here?!"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Frieza smirked.
"Tell me!" Goku demanded.
"Or what? You'll kill me?" Frieza asked. "You always were killer. Right from the day you were born you were destined to be a murderer."
"What?!" Goku stared at him.
"You know. A murderer. Someone who kills just for the thrill of spilling someone's blood. You may fight for good, but deep down, you don't care who your victims are. Good or bad, it doesn't matter." Frieza said. "You're just in it for the excitement."
Goku shook his head.
"No! How can you say that?! I'm not like that! I don't kill for fun!"
"Are you kidding me?!" Frieza protested. "You make it a sport! You love it!"
"That's not true!!" Goku argued.
"Really?" Frieza said. "I don't believe you? You know why?"
"... No..." Goku looked at him. "Why don't you believe me?"
Frieza rose onto his tiptoes and looked Goku in the eye.
"Because you're a saiyan." he said. He retreated back to his normal standing position. "And whether you admit it or not, all saiyans have urge to destroy. It's not your fault, Goku. You can't help it. It's just in your nature. It's in your blood."
"You're wrong!!" Goku yelled. "I don't have the urge to destroy!"
"Like fuck you don't!" Frieza snapped.
He smirked. "You're a killer. In fact, you're like me. Me and Vegeta. We're killers, and we know it." he said. "You've seen Vegeta as his true self. Before you and your friends changed him, you know how he loved to kill. The excitement, the thrill of killing. He loved it. Sure, he hated me. Who can blame him? After what I did. But he loved his job. As a saiyan, he couldn't feel more alive when he went on a mission."
"Vegeta's different now!" Goku argued.
"That's right. But he doesn't deny what he used to be. And what he still is, deep down. I don't deny it, either. I'm a killer." Frieza replied. "But so are you."
"I'm not like you!" Goku protested.
"That's right. You're not like me." Frieza agreed. "You're worse than me."
"What?!?!" Goku cried out. "Worse than YOU?!"
"What's worse? Someone who feels alive when he kills and admits it? Or someone who feels alive and denies it?"
"I don't feel alive!!" Goku protested. "I don't kill for fun! I kill to protect people -"
"That's what you think!" Frieza hissed. "But deep down, you love it. You love it when your friends and family are threatened, because it means you get to shed someone else's blood. And shedding their blood makes you feel good inside. Excited. Alive. You love it."
"That's not true!" Goku sounded a little weak. Frieza noticed this.
He smirked.
"Why so quiet? Are you afraid of something?" he asked. "Afraid that I know the truth about you?"
"You.... you don't know anything!" Goku turned away. "You're the only killer in this room."
"Say that to my face." Frieza challenged.
"Fine then!" Goku turned around and glared at him. "I - am - NOT a killer!!"
"Why so angry? It's not like you have anything to hide, right?" Frieza shrugged.
"Y - You!!" Goku yelled. He turned super saiyan without even realizing it.
He glared down at Frieza, and grabbed his throat. "If you don't shut up right now -"
"What? You'll kill me?" Frieza smirked. "Go ahead. I can see it in your eyes. You want to stain the carpet with my blood. Crush my bones. Squeeze the life out of me -"
"N - NO!!" Goku gasped. He let go of Frieza and backed off.
"I - I'm not a killer! I won't hurt you! I - I don't even want to!" a hint of fear could be seen in his eyes. "I'm not like that!"
"You're scared." Frieza said, rubbing his neck. "You know perfectly well what you are. Give it up, Goku. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Don't hide away trying to be someone you're not. Let yourself go."
"N - No!!" Goku fell to the ground and knelt down. He hung his head. "I'm not a killer..." he raised his head to look at Frieza. "I'm not!"
Frieza walked over to him, and put his hand on his shoulder.
"Goku... it's alright. You've not done anything wrong. It's just in your blood. We can't change who we are. No matter how we act, we're still the same person deep down. You're Kakarotto. Whether you like it or not, that's who you are. Stop running from it."
"... I love my family..." Goku said, hanging his head.
"But it that true?" Frieza asked. He knelt down and looked at Goku. "Hm?"
"....." Goku looked at him. ".... I.... - Yes! I do!"
"But they're not yours. Not really. The one who fell in love with that woman doesn't really exist. He's just a character. An alter ego. He's not really you. Kakarotto is the real you." Frieza replied. "Don't deny it any longer."
"I'm not hiding!" Goku protested. "I'm not!"
"Then perhaps you need to be shown... I'll come back later." Frieza said. He faded away.
"Huh?!" Goku looked around. "Where'd he go..?"
He stood up, and ran around the house, searching in every room. He came to his and Chichi's room last of all. But Frieza was nowhere. How did he come and go like that? Was he really alive? But how...? How did he come back to life? And fade into thin air?
"What's going on...?" Goku asked. Nothing answered him. He thought about Frieza's words.
"A killer...?" he shook his head. "No. He's just trying to trick me." he laughed. "I'm no killer. I love my family. My wife... my kids... they're mine. Goku is who I am. I was never Kakarotto, right?" he smiled, and sat down on the bed. "I know who I am."
He heard a bird chirping outside the window. Geez, what a horrible sound!
"Hey..." Goku got up and walked over to the window. He looked at it. "Can you please be quiet?" he frowned. The bird continued to chip.
"You -" Goku growled, glaring at the bastard. He blinked. "Huh?" he looked down at him clenched fist. "Geez." he let out a laugh. "What's gotten into me?"
The bird still chiped. Goku sighed.
"Whatever." he mumbled, and walked away.
