Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, nor am I making any money off of this work of fanfiction.

~*~A Most Unusual Day~*~

Umino Iruka was blissfully asleep by the time the telephone wires outside his bedroom window *really* started crackling. He got up early that morning, as usual, stretched and performed a few katas, as usual, and made himself a quick breakfast of rice and miso soup, as usual. He wondered if his life was becoming too routine. He wondered if he should get new curtains. He wondered if it was time for him to go. It was. He washed his dishes and put them away and made his way out onto the street. As usual.

Only when he was halfway to the Academy did Iruka realize that his day was not going to play out "as usual."

No one waved at him. Usually, the people he'd pass on the street would at least nod in greeting. Today, though there were a variety of reactions to his presence, none were the expected nods, smiles or hellos. Instead, people stared at him as if he were diseased. People giggled and blushed as he passed. People met his eye and then looked away, as if they'd never seen him before and didn't want to again. Occasionally someone gave him a supportive smile, but as much as he appreciated it, he couldn't remember anything he'd done recently he'd need to be supported for. Every so often, he looked down to make sure his clothes were still on. They were, thankfully. Only God knew how many times he'd had *that* particular nightmare.

Asuma's reaction was the strangest of all. They ran into each other on a particularly crowded street. Iruka tried the same "nod in greeting" he'd been trying all day, not expecting it to work. Asuma stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and leaned in, looking guilty. He whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei, for Kurenai and for myself." And then he walked off, hands in his pockets and hunched over.

Iruka stood there for a moment, a rock in the swirl of people, before he realized that he was a bit behind schedule and trotted off to the Academy. When he got there, something else unusual happened. On most days, he made his way unnoticed through the crowd of playing kids and into his classroom to prepare for the day. Today, though, the kids stared at him too. Some giggled. Whenever he looked in their direction, they stopped, and the ones on the other side started. He could hear kissy noises coming from behind him. He snapped.

"What?" he shouted, waving his arms around. "What? Do I have a sign on my back? Are my pants ripped? What?" The kids laughed and skittered away. Iruka rubbed his eyes and chalked it up to some stupid prank they'd come up with. He thought about the bottle of sake he had under his sink and decided that tonight was as good a night as any to heat it up.

"Iruka-sensei--"

"What?" he gritted out, whipping around to face yet another person dead-set on bothering him. As it turned out, it was just Tanaka-san, the mother of one of his best students. She smiled patiently. Iruka blushed. "Ah, sorry about that."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Iruka-sensei. May I talk to you for a moment?" she said, her voice as calm as her expression.

"Um, OK," he said. He followed her to the side of the building, hands in his pockets. He wondered what she wanted to talk to him about and took a guess. "Mei is doing well in her chakra control, amazingly well. However, her taijutsu is a little clumsy, so you may want to--"

"Actually, I just wanted to ask how Kakashi's doing," she interrupted gently. Iruka blinked.

"I don't know. I don't see him very often." Tanaka-san put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes sympathetically. Iruka crossed his arms, trying to fend off her invasion of his personal space.

"That's too bad. It must be very hard on you."

"...Not really. I just hope he's taking good care of Naruto." He thought briefly of his most irritating/favorite student. He'd have to take him out for ramen sometime soon, to congratulate him on passing the chuunin exam prelims. Bringing his attention back to the conversation, he startled and backed up. The look on Tanaka-san's face was so accepting, he was sure it was going to suck him in.

"I'm sure he is. And may I add that it's wonderful, the trust you have in him." Him? Trust Kakashi? Maybe as a ninja, but Iruka just knew Naruto was learning all sorts of bad habits from him. Still, he figured the best course of action would be agreement; Tanaka-san was almost glowing with happiness.

"Ah. Trust. Right. Well, it's almost time for class, so--" Before he could bolt away from this strange conversation, Tanaka-san grabbed his hands and held them. All sorts of thoughts ran through Iruka's mind: she was going to break his hands, she was going to throw herself at him--

"Iruka-sensei, before you go, I'd like to tell you that my husband and I think you're a wonderful teacher, and we fully support you, whatever your lifestyle choices." She leaned up and kissed his cheek. Then she whispered in his ear, "If you're ever up for it, I'd love to watch you and Kakashi together. Talk it over with him, would you, please?" She smiled and disappeared, a small puff of smoke the only indication she'd been there at all.

Iruka stood there for a time, frozen. Why were people acting so weird today? Why did they keep on whispering in his ear? And why would anyone want to watch him with Kakashi? It wouldn't exactly be long or exciting: not only was Kakashi far superior to him in technique and raw talent, he also had more stamina. He blinked, scratched his head and checked his watch. No more time. He sighed. God, he hated being behind schedule.

He hurried into his classroom and managed to get his bag unpacked before the bell rang and his first students began trickling in. As this was the youngest class, the trickle stopped after a time, and he went out into the yard to capture a few who didn't have the attention span to make it into the classroom. As usual. It relaxed him. Now that his day had officially begun, he was sure there would be no more surprises.

Umino Iruka is a terrible fortuneteller.

The kids snickered while he took role, more loudly when he turned to the blackboard to write the day's schedule on it. He let them. They were too young to know how bothersome it was, and maybe whatever they were laughing at would become a good story when they got older. Hell, maybe it would be a good story for *him* one day. He doubted it, though. That sake looked more and more appealing with each tiny giggle. When he'd finished with the schedule, he turned back to the class.

"OK," he said. "We'll start the day off as usual with meditation and stretching, after which I'll see your katas. You'll be learning a new one today, so pay attention." He paused for breath, then continued. "Then we'll learn some chakra theory and see if we can put it into practice. I'll tell you what's happening after lunch, after lunch. Any questions?" Konohamaru, sitting in the back of the classroom, raised his hand. "Yes?"

"Iruka-sensei, what do people do when they really, really like each other?" Iruka blinked. He thought about dismissing the question and moving on, but, well, it was the youngest class; the oldest wasn't even six yet. He could spare a few moments for this.

"Well, when people really, really like each other, it's called love, and they usually get married. Though it's a good idea if they think about it for a while before they do it, so they won't make a mistake." He smiled, privately very pleased with himself. Konohamaru pressed on.

"Even if they're both boys?" Iruka raised his eyebrows. Giggles filled the classroom as he cast about for something to say.

"...I don't see why not. Some people have a problem with things like that, but I'm not one of them. Though you'd probably want to ask your parents more about that." He rubbed the back of his neck. If the school board caught him teaching his class about homosexuality... well, he probably wouldn't be fired. Teachers were in short supply, after all. But still, best to get away from that subject as quickly as possible. You never knew which parents were sensitive about that kind of thing. He cleared his throat.

"Anyway, are there any more questions before we start meditation?" A tiny girl in the front--Yomiko--raised her hand. Iruka braced himself, then nodded in her direction.

"Have you ever seen Kakashi-san's face?" Kakashi again. What was it about today? He backed up a step as he realized his entire class was leaning forward, staring at him as if he were about to reveal the answer to the Ultimate Mystery of Life.

"No, no I haven't," he said. His class was astonished.

"YOU HAVEN'T?" they yelled. Iruka's back hit the blackboard as the wave of sound slammed into him.

"S-Should I have?" He instinctively grasped for a weapon, any weapon, and came up with a piece of chalk. *That* calmed him down. Here he was, a teacher, a chuunin, a twenty-five-year-old man, and he was letting a bunch of five-year-olds intimidate him. He flipped the chalk up and caught it expertly, then faced his class with new confidence.

"Alright, we need to get started, so no more questions. Everyone come down to the front and we'll--" He paused, sensing something amiss. In the back of the classroom, Konohamaru was perched on the windowsill, attempting to open the window.

"Konohamaru, where do you think you're going? Get down from there this instant!" he yelled. With a burst of chakra aiding him he leapt over the rest of his class. Rolling to soften his landing, he attempted to grab Konohamaru, who had just managed to push the window open. His arms closed around air. He forced the creaky old window open the rest of the way and shouted "Konohamaru, get back here!" but the boy paid him no heed. Iruka watched him disappear between two buildings, then buried his face in his hands. He couldn't leave his class. The Hokage would have take care of it. Which Iruka was sure he would, but still, what a thing to have happen.

Screw waiting until the evening. That sake was getting heated right after work. Maybe even during lunch, if things kept going the way they were. He sighed and looked down at the excited boy currently tugging at his pants leg. "Yes?"

"That was really cool, Iruka-sensei!" As if on cue, the entire throng of youngsters closed in on him, shouting praises and demanding to be taught. Great. Now he'd never get them settled enough for meditation. He waded through them down to the front and tried anyway. When he'd finally gotten them to at least shut up, though, a whisper echoed through the room:

"Do boys who love each other like seeing each other in skirts?"

Lunch it was, then.

~*~To be continued~*~