Big thanks to Malfoy Snogger, luin-lote, angelpixiedust, lisawescott, and Layce74! You guys rock my socks!

Warning: Risqué (and real) names of alcoholic beverage names and future underage drinking!

            "Of course not Draco. But there is the matter of this essay." Blaise replied, pushing his chair back and rising leisurely from his seat. Following his suit, I stood up too. I didn't like the idea of having to look up and crane my head to see Malfoy.

          Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "I thought you already finished yours, Blaise."

          "I did," was the airy reply. "However, my partner hasn't and he could use some help." Blaise smiled his best do-gooder smile that could, quite possibly, make even Lucius Malfoy do something charitable. "Since I'm about to leave in a few minutes, could you possibly be a dear and-"

          Malfoy scowled and shook his head venomously. "No way! There is no way that I am going to tutor Potter while you scrub cauldrons, measure ingredients, or whatever lowly task Professor Snape subjects you to!"

          "Besides, I don't need his help!" I exclaimed.

          Blaise looked skeptical. "Right, you don't Draco's help with your assignment just like Draco doesn't need a professional manicurist's help to get his nails that shiny and neatly trimmed."

          Malfoy and I both glared at him.

          Blaise glared back at both of us. "Yes, you need assistance," he said to me. I opened my mouth to protest yet again, but his eyes flashed a dangerous, shimmering shade of clover, and I decided to follow his advice of never angering a fey. I suppose I did need some help with my Potion's homework. Blaise turned his attention to Malfoy. "And yes, you are going to be the one to assist him."

          Malfoy was unfazed and shook his head fervently. "No!! Bloody hell, I wouldn't do it for a brand new Firebolt! Not for a million galleons! Not for a chateau in France, a villa in Italy, and a penthouse in New York! There is nothing you could offer that would make me even consider-"

          Malfoy was getting so worked up that I wondered if he always acted like the Drama King of the Silver Screen. I also had to wonder if there was anything in the world that could entice the boy who had everything.

          "I'll get Pansy off your case."

          Malfoy stopped ranting. Although he couldn't help but look interested, his tone was thinly veiled with suspicion. "Will she stop trying to get into my pants?"

          "She'd treat them like designer knock-offs. Pansy won't go within a twenty foot radius."

          "She'd stop clinging onto me?"

           "The scent of obsession will no longer linger in the air around you." Blaise scrunched up his nose. "I never liked that perfume."

          "I wouldn't have to deal with her constant bitching? Her dreadful mood swings?"

          "Goyle couldn't be more stolid, not even after being hit with five horse tranquilizers."

          Malfoy paused. "And there would be no more insufferable pet names?" he ventured hopefully.

          "Well I don't know about that, Drakie-poo."

          "Sod off," was the sharp reply, but there was no malice in his tone. Malfoy looked at me warily, his eyes straying from Blaise's face for the first time since he had arrived.

          "Fine," he finally relented. "But I'm only helping Potter this one time." He paused. "And I need a drink first. Getting drunk is the only way that's going to make any of this tolerable."

          I frowned. How could drunk!Malfoy possibly help me with my essay? And would drunk!Draco be even more of a git than sober!Malfoy? Come to think of it- was it possible for Malfoy to be any more insufferable, under any circumstance, than he already was?

          "I could use a drink too. Let's go up to the dorm and mix something up," Blaise suggested, grinning mischievously.

           "I don't want Potter in our Common Room," Draco spat, making it sound like I had a weird and contagious disease that would cause anything I touched to become contaminated.

          "It's not like I haven't been in it before," I muttered angrily under my breath.

         The two were too engaged in their argument to register my last comment. Blaise rolled his eyes at Draco. "Come on Draco, stop being a prat? What are you worried about? Do you honestly think he'd steal our password, sneak in while everyone's sleeping, and totally trash the place? Potter's a Gryffindor. He has too much do-gooder spirit."

          "You make it sound like a bad thing," I mumbled, only to be ignored once again.

          "Precisely," Malfoy said tersely. "This is Saint Potter we're talking about! Do you honestly think he'd join us in having Blow Jobs in our room?"

          My eyes bulged. Wait, what?! Weren't they talking about drinks? How'd they get on the subject of that? And what about me joining them??!!

          "We don't have any whipped cream," Blaise replied coolly.

          Draco looked disappointed. "Wild Sex then."

          I felt myself blush and stifled a snort. I couldn't help it- the word 'sex' always made me uncomfortable.

          "No Grenadine."

          Did one need 'grenadine' to… do the deed? Or was 'grenadine' some kind of kinky sex toy? What if 'Grenadine' was the name of a person?! I felt myself blush harder. Oh Merlin, think good and wholesome thoughts- Campbell's chicken soup, making snow angels in the freshly fallen snow, sitting in front of the fireplace and drinking hot chocolate…

          "Sex in the Shower?"

          Blaise shook his head.

          "What do we have to work with?" Draco asked, sounding irritated.

          "My sister has the ingredients in order to make Strawberry Daiquiris," Blaise offered. "Virgin Strawberry Daiquiris."

          Malfoy brightened. "S'ok, I have some light rum."

          "So it's settled then?"

          Malfoy's face darkened again. "I still don't want Potter invading our territory."

          Blaise sighed, obviously tired of bickering, and looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose Blair wouldn't mind if we had them in the Ravenclaw Common Room," he said after deliberating for a few moments. Malfoy made no motion to object. "Good, now it's finally settled. Now hurry up and go get the rum, Draco, and meet us there in ten minutes."

Well what do you think? I don't like this chapter as much as the other ones, but it sets the stage for some good ol' Harry and Draco interaction. Please review! And in case anyone was wondering-

Blow Job #1: 1.5 oz. Amaretto and Whipped Cream      

Wild Sex: Ice, 1 oz. Malibu rum, ½ oz. Peach Schnapps, ½ oz. 151 Proof Rum, 1 oz. Orange Juice, 1 oz. Cranberry Juice, 1 oz. Pineapple Juice, and ½ oz. Grenadine (it's a syrup made form pomegranates)

Sex in the Shower: Ice, 1 oz. Blue Curacao, 1 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps, and 2 oz. Orange Juice