Cowboy Star Fox
* * * * *
"Perhaps it was a bad idea to take Krystal here,"
commented Fox, as he sat on the bar stool. "I mean, would
you look at some of these guys? They're out for some fresh tail
and I don't like the looks they're giving her." They
were on a special assignment to capture Malpass, a ruthless thug
hired by the Syndicate, and Fox knew that he frequented the bar
they were in quite often. The assignment was no big deal. After
all, if they weren't working for the Lylat Police, they would
still have gone after Malpass anyway.
Krystal turned round to glare at Fox angrily.
"Would you not kindly talk about me as if I weren't here?" she asked Fox. "Besides, I can take care of myself."
"I'm sorry," apologised Fox sheepishly.
"It's just that I don't think this place is suitable for
such a young vixen like you."
A sigh escaped Krystal's muzzle, as she shook her head. Some
foxes wouldn't learn. She turned round and looked around her.
She saw someone of the looks that some of the men were giving
her.
"Say, is that him?" wondered Krystal, as she pointed over to a guy seated at a table not too far away.
"Yeah, I think so," replied Fox with a nod of his
head. He was about to get up, when Krystal placed a hand out in
front of him.
"I'll handle this one," announced Krystal,
"alone." She got up, despite Fox's protests. She made
her way towards the suspected thug, her tail swaying in a
pseudo-seductive manner. All at once, Krystal's once innocent
look disappeared, as she walked straight up and sat in the booth
with the guy.
"I hope she can handle this one," said Fox.
"What do you think, Falco? Should we...?" he said, as
he turned round to face his blue-feathered friend. He stopped
mid-sentence upon seeing what the avian was doing. "What the
Hell are you doing, Falc'?" He watched the avian shake
some pepper into a glass and watched each granule flutter down on
to a raw egg.
Falco sighed. He looked incredibly lethargic, as if someone
had sucked all the blood and energy out of him.
"It's called a Prairie Oyster," replied the avian in a low, guttural voice. "They say it's good for hangovers." He raised the glass, which was wide enough for his beak to get in.
"Guh, that looks foul," commented Fox. That reminded
him. He turned round quickly and saw the guy trying to make a
pass on Krystal. "Hey, you!" he shouted angrily, as he
rose from his seat.
That was when Krystal belted him over the head and knocked him
away from her and kicked him away from her.
"Oh, whoops, sorry," she apologised, as the guy went careering into another set of thugs. She saw them rise from their seats and noticed that they were all wearing ponchos. The next thing she noticed was them hitting the guy that she had sent careering towards them.
"Krystal, what have you done?" cried Fox, before
somehow the entire bar descended into one gigantic bar fight.
Falco was suddenly jolted aside, as one of the poncho-clad
lowlifes hit him. Slowly, he looked down at his lap and at the
contents of the glass that lay there. Surprisingly, the yolk was
still intact. That was not on his mind, however. He rose from his
seat and turned round.
"These were my best pants," said Falco through a clenched beak. "Oh, you're going to pay, pal!" He rushed forward and threw a feathered fist into the thug's face.
"Hey, you can't do that to our amigo," growled a
lynx, before he dashed towards the avian. He spread his claws and
lashed out at Falco.
The avian gracefully side-stepped out of the way and grabbed
the lynx by the ruff of his neck and pulled him towards him.
Falco raised his leg and kneed the guy in the stomach, before
flinging the lynx away. A guy rushed at him with a bottle.
Fox dashed forwards and grabbed the guy's wrist. In one
swift movement, he turned the guy over and slammed him down on to
the floor. His keen vulpine sense of hearing suddenly heard
approaching footsteps. He whirled round and flung his fist
upwards to where he anticipated the face would be. Bullseye! That
guy would have a black eye in the morning for sure.
Krystal wasn't doing too bad. Her staff was a weapon to
match all weapons, and she was knocking criminal lowlifes out
here and there, one after another. She leapt into the air and
swung her staff straight at an avian's head and knocked him out
cold.
"Who else wants some?" asked Krystal rhetorically, as she swung her staff to the side and looked around her. At that point, she saw the poncho-clad thugs dashing out of the door. A small smile spread across her muzzle, as she straightened up.
"Krystal, behind you!"
The vixen didn't even turn round. She just lifted her arm
and the staff's tip went backwards. She felt the staff jar
against something solid and then whirled round. Krystal saw it
was the guy she had approached earlier. She shoved him against
the wall, pinning him by the neck with her staff.
"Okay, Malpass, I know that's you," she said sternly. "Come along peacefully and maybe I won't hurt you more."
"Malpass? What are you talking about?" exclaimed the
horse in a stutter.
"Don't play dumb with me," she said, as she tore
at his shirt. "This tattoo is..."
It was a known fact that Maplass had a tattoo of a Chinese
dragon. This had been branded on in the usual way and dyed, as
was tattoos for all fur-bearing animals.
Krystal couldn't believe what she saw.
"What is this?" she asked loudly.
"I have a thing for eels," replied the horse
sheepishly.
"Oh, that's just great," sighed Fox sarcastically,
as he moved back over to the bar. "Oh, sorry, bud," he
apologised after bumping into someone. The mouse murmured some
apology and then sped past him. He suddenly stopped and turned
back round, to face the mouse that was running out. He saw a
dragon tattoo on the arm. "Hey, you, stop right there!"
he shouted, as he reached for his gun. "Shit! Why do they
always have to run?"
Fox ran for it, leaping through the hole in the bar window and
out on to the streets. He looked up and down and then he saw the
mouse running not too far away.
"Hey, Malpass, freeze!" he shouted, as he aimed the gun down the empty street. The mouse turned a corner. "Crap!" swore Fox, before he ran for it. He turned the corner and ran down the deserted alley, not caring for the puddles he splashed through.
"What? A dead end?" exclaimed Fox in surprise, as he
skidded to a halt. He looked up and around him. Bingo! Fox ran
and leapt, grabbing the rung of an escape ladder and climbing it.
He came up on to a metallic landing and ran up the fire escsape
stairs that snaked up the building.
He emerged up on to the roof and saw the mouse leap over on to
the next building. A smile spread across his face. No problem, he
could do that. Fox sprinted across the roof and made one leap,
clearing the alleyway. The mouse turned and cleared the next one.
'Dead end,' thought Fox, as he saw the mouse skid to a halt.
Malpass looked down. The river was below him. To his left and
right were large streets that he couldn't possibly leap over.
If he tried to go down the fire escape ladders, he would be
caught. He delved into his pocket and brought out a slim glass
tube.
"It ends here, Malpass," announced Fox, as he aimed
his gun at the mouse. "Surrender now and perhaps I'll go
easy on you."
"You a cowboy or something? A bounty hunter?" asked
Malpass.
"Yeah, that's right," replied Fox with a smile on
his muzzle.
"I hate cowboys," said Malpass, as he whirled round
and flipped out a knife. He ran straight for Fox.
The speed at which Malpass ran surprised the vulpine and
before he knew it, his gun was knocked out of his hand. Fox
stepped back, avoiding the mouse's knife. How was it that the
mouse was so fast? He winced in pain, as the mouse swung the
knife in an arc and cut the fox's arm.
"Shit, you're on some serious drugs," exclaimed Fox in surprise. Those red eyes could only mean one thing. Maplass was on that well-known Syndicate drug known as Crimson Head; it was a drug that increased speed, agility and one's reactions. It was said that a person on Crimson Head was able to dodge lasers easily.
Fox leapt out of the way, practically skipping across the
floor.
"You're still no match for me, buddy," he said, as he leapt out of the way. He was not sure whether he would be able to defeat Malpass, but he had to try. He kept himself on the balls of his feet, not wanting to get caught off guard. He saw Malpass lunge straight at him and decided to let his legs go like jello.
Instantly, Fox fell down and he stiffened his legs, sweeping
them round in a circle and knocking Malpass off his legs. He saw
the mouse crash to the ground and then lunged for him. He grabbed
the arm that held the knife and tried to wrench the knife out of
Malpass' hand.
"Get lost, fox," cried Malpass, before kicking Fox
in the stomach. "Get off!" He flung his head forehead
and headbutted Fox on the head. He felt the vulpine let go of his
arm and he swung the knife at the vulpine.
With a wince of pain on his furry face, Fox rolled away. He
staggered back to his feet and was suddenly rushed by Malpass. He
was knocked back to the ground and saw the gleaming blade of
Malpass' knife slash at him. Fox raised his hand and caught the
knife-wielding hand by the wrist. Malpass was strong, possibly
due to the drugs, but Fox knew that he could handle the mouse.
"Hold it right there, Malpass!" shouted a voice.
The mouse turned round and hissed in anger when he saw a gun
aimed at him. The avian that held it had a smug face on his beak
and that enraged Malpass even more.
"Get lost, bird, before I tear you to shreds," he warned the blue-feathered avian.
"Falco, watch out! He's on Crimson Head," shouted
out Fox.
Malpass tore his wrist away from Fox's grasp and rushed
straight at Falco. He saw the avian fire his gun at him. His
vision was tinged red and everything seemed to move in slow
motion to him. He could dodge the lasers easily and with no
problem. It seemed that he would leave it to the last moment,
just avoiding the laser when it was a few inches away from him.
Something grabbed him from behind. It was an arm and it was
wrapped around his throat tightly, nearly choking the air out of
him.
Seeing this, Falco rushed over to help his vulpine friend. He
grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the knife and tried his
best to wrench the blade out of Malpass' grip. The mouse was
writhing in Fox's grasp and was kicking out.
"I've had enough of you!" he cried, before punching the mouse in the face and drawing blood with the blow. He was sure he had even knocked out a few teeth.
"Hey, Falco, that's enough!" protested Fox, but
not before Falco could punch the mouse in the stomach. He heard
Malpass' knife drop to the floor.
"Hey, it did the job, didn't it?" retorted Falco
with his arms spread out and a smug smile on his face.
"Yeah, I guess," mumbled Fox under his breath.
"Come on, let's get him cuffed and take him down to the
station."
"Fox, I've been thinking."
"Did it hurt?" joked Fox, as he slapped the
handcuffs on Malpass.
Falco glared at Fox.
"Very funny, Fox," he said sarcastically. He helped Fox hoist the unconscious mouse up to his feet and then between the two of them, they carried him over to the fire escape stairs. "You know how reluctant the police are to give us the bounty rewards? I think this is their way to stop us catching crooks. Think about it. They're getting us to capture big time crooks, all of whom would have had huge rewards on their heads, and they're making us do it for less money than we would do if we weren't working for them."
"Are you saying Bill is in on some kind of conspiracy to
stop us from doing what bounty hunters do best?" asked Fox,
as he helped Falco throw Malpass on to a couple of bags. "I
don't think so, buddy," he said, before sliding down the
ladder that led down to the alley below. "Bill would never
do such a thing. Now come on and help me get Malpass to the
car." He waited for the avian to leap down from the ladder
and then the two of them hoisted Malpass up and walked out of the
alley together.
A car screeched to a halt in front of them and the window
lowered down. Sitting behind the wheel was none other than
Krystal.
"So, are you guys done playing?" asked Krystal with a frown on her face.
"Krystal, what are you doing?" asked Fox in
disbelief. "You don't know how to drive! You don't even
have a licence!"
"Hey, I can learn," she retorted. "Now get
in."
"Only if I drive back," stated Fox sternly.
Krystal saw that Fox was determined. She was tempted to tell
him to walk, but she couldn't. After all, she had fallen in
love with that fox.
"Yeah, okay," she sighed in agreement, "but you owe me driving lessons and the fee I need to pay to take the tests." She waited for a reply from him and received one. He agreed. "Deal!" She got out of the driver's seat and opened the back door, to allow Fox and Falco to dump Malpass in the back.
Fox heard a screeching and turned round to see a car turning
the corner rather fast. His emerald green eyes caught sight of
one of the windows opening.
"Hit the ground!" he shouted, as the air was suddenly alive with the sound of gunfire. He dived for Krystal and pushed her to the ground and shielded her body with his. He turned round and saw Falco shielding Malpass with his own body.
Falco brought his gun out and moved over to lean against the
car's metallic body with the gun pointed skywards. He turned
round and fired a few shots. Lasers flew at him and he whirled
back behind the car for cover.
"Hey, Malpass, stop or I shoot!" he shouted, upon seeing the mouse running away.
"I'll get him!" cried Fox, as he leapt to his
feet. Lasers were sprayed into the air and he dived back to the
ground.
"That's it!" cried Krystal, as she brought out her
staff. She leapt off the car and used the staff to create some
kind of light blue forcefield around her. It was like an umbrella
and she ran, the lasers ricocheting off the forcefield. She was
unstoppable and when she reached the thugs, she brought the staff
crashing into them.
Fox peered round from the hole-ridden car and saw that they
were too busy trying to penetrate her forcefield. That was too
good. He whirled round and fired. Each shot hit a guy in the leg,
making them buckle and fall down to the ground. He ran towards
them and Falco followed suit.
"No, Falco, get Malpass," he said to his friend.
With a sigh, Falco turned round and ran back into the alleyway
that the mouse had disappeared into. He heard a gunshot. That
wasn't good. His run turned into a sprint and then that turned
into a grinding halt. Falco looked on in disbelief. Who had done
this?
"Nice shade of brain," he said sarcastically, as he saw Malpass's lifeless body slumped against the concrete wall. He sighed and shook his head upon thinking of the consequences. How were they going to find out the Syndicate's next move when Malpass was dead?
"Well, Rob? Got anything on it?" asked Slippy,
as he walked into the room.
The Lylat Police had sent a tissue sample from the bio-weapon
for Rob to analyse. Their own forensic scientists had no data on
Andross's bio-weapons, so it was up to the Star Fox Team to
study the mitochondrial DNA. If they could prove a match, then it
was possible that the bio-weapon was one of Andross's old
creations or that Andross was still alive.
Rob unhooked himself from the computer that was connected to
the electrophoresis gel and other equipments.
"The mitochondrial DNA does not match those from Andross's bio-weapons," announced Rob. "That could mean that either it was not made from the same batch of cells or that it was not made by Andross. I am, however, unable to discover the age of the bio-weapon, as there is not enough material to do so."
"I see," sighed Peppy, who had been sitting the room
with Rob all day. "Are there any signature pieces of DNA?
You know, the kind of things that Andross always puts in the
genomes of his bio-weapons."
The robot shook his metallic head in response.
"Negative," he replied. "That was the first thing I looked for." The robot could remember analysing tissue samples from some of Andross's other bio-weapons. All had the same sequence of nonsense DNA in the same positions. It was like Andross's very own signature. "This was not one of Andross's bio-weapons."
Slippy sighed in relief.
"Well, that's good," he squeaked. "That proves that Andross isn't behind the Gospel Army." He would have been scared witless if Andross was behind the Gospel Army. That would have meant the mad monkey was still alive, a bigger shock than that he received on Dinosaur Planet. "Well, I guess we've got someone else to contend with then. Could it be someone who's even badder then Andross?"
By Wolf O'Donnell
Author's Note: Star Fox and all related characters (including me) are copyrighted by Nintendo. Scales, Dinosaur Planet and all related characters are copyrighted by Rare. The Gospel Army, Dr. Jerome Kano, the Sekai Foundation and all related characters and places are copyrighted by me. Upon reading any word in this file, you hereby agree to forfeit all your rights to sue me and that I cannot be held liable for any psychological or physical damage caused by the fact that this fanfic contains swearing, violence and the use of British-English Spelling and Grammar.
Episode 5: Don't Bother No One
"Would you not kindly talk about me as if I weren't here?" she asked Fox. "Besides, I can take care of myself."
"Say, is that him?" wondered Krystal, as she pointed over to a guy seated at a table not too far away.
"It's called a Prairie Oyster," replied the avian in a low, guttural voice. "They say it's good for hangovers." He raised the glass, which was wide enough for his beak to get in.
"Oh, whoops, sorry," she apologised, as the guy went careering into another set of thugs. She saw them rise from their seats and noticed that they were all wearing ponchos. The next thing she noticed was them hitting the guy that she had sent careering towards them.
"These were my best pants," said Falco through a clenched beak. "Oh, you're going to pay, pal!" He rushed forward and threw a feathered fist into the thug's face.
"Who else wants some?" asked Krystal rhetorically, as she swung her staff to the side and looked around her. At that point, she saw the poncho-clad thugs dashing out of the door. A small smile spread across her muzzle, as she straightened up.
"Okay, Malpass, I know that's you," she said sternly. "Come along peacefully and maybe I won't hurt you more."
"What is this?" she asked loudly.
"Hey, Malpass, freeze!" he shouted, as he aimed the gun down the empty street. The mouse turned a corner. "Crap!" swore Fox, before he ran for it. He turned the corner and ran down the deserted alley, not caring for the puddles he splashed through.
"Shit, you're on some serious drugs," exclaimed Fox in surprise. Those red eyes could only mean one thing. Maplass was on that well-known Syndicate drug known as Crimson Head; it was a drug that increased speed, agility and one's reactions. It was said that a person on Crimson Head was able to dodge lasers easily.
"You're still no match for me, buddy," he said, as he leapt out of the way. He was not sure whether he would be able to defeat Malpass, but he had to try. He kept himself on the balls of his feet, not wanting to get caught off guard. He saw Malpass lunge straight at him and decided to let his legs go like jello.
"Get lost, bird, before I tear you to shreds," he warned the blue-feathered avian.
"I've had enough of you!" he cried, before punching the mouse in the face and drawing blood with the blow. He was sure he had even knocked out a few teeth.
"Very funny, Fox," he said sarcastically. He helped Fox hoist the unconscious mouse up to his feet and then between the two of them, they carried him over to the fire escape stairs. "You know how reluctant the police are to give us the bounty rewards? I think this is their way to stop us catching crooks. Think about it. They're getting us to capture big time crooks, all of whom would have had huge rewards on their heads, and they're making us do it for less money than we would do if we weren't working for them."
"So, are you guys done playing?" asked Krystal with a frown on her face.
"Yeah, okay," she sighed in agreement, "but you owe me driving lessons and the fee I need to pay to take the tests." She waited for a reply from him and received one. He agreed. "Deal!" She got out of the driver's seat and opened the back door, to allow Fox and Falco to dump Malpass in the back.
"Hit the ground!" he shouted, as the air was suddenly alive with the sound of gunfire. He dived for Krystal and pushed her to the ground and shielded her body with his. He turned round and saw Falco shielding Malpass with his own body.
"Hey, Malpass, stop or I shoot!" he shouted, upon seeing the mouse running away.
"No, Falco, get Malpass," he said to his friend.
"Nice shade of brain," he said sarcastically, as he saw Malpass's lifeless body slumped against the concrete wall. He sighed and shook his head upon thinking of the consequences. How were they going to find out the Syndicate's next move when Malpass was dead?
"The mitochondrial DNA does not match those from Andross's bio-weapons," announced Rob. "That could mean that either it was not made from the same batch of cells or that it was not made by Andross. I am, however, unable to discover the age of the bio-weapon, as there is not enough material to do so."
"Negative," he replied. "That was the first thing I looked for." The robot could remember analysing tissue samples from some of Andross's other bio-weapons. All had the same sequence of nonsense DNA in the same positions. It was like Andross's very own signature. "This was not one of Andross's bio-weapons."
"Well, that's good," he squeaked. "That proves that Andross isn't behind the Gospel Army." He would have been scared witless if Andross was behind the Gospel Army. That would have meant the mad monkey was still alive, a bigger shock than that he received on Dinosaur Planet. "Well, I guess we've got someone else to contend with then. Could it be someone who's even badder then Andross?"
To be continued...
