Chapter Three: Proving It
"Alright, we're all here. Now, who are you?" Buffy asked tiredly.
"I'm Andie and this is April." The Scoobies and their guests were now assembled in Buffy's living room. It was around 4:30.
"Where are you from?"
"Canada."
"How did you get here?"
"We got sucked through April's TV."
"Okay, you lost me," said Xander.
"We were watching television, and then we were getting ready for bed and the television sucked us inside. We fell into the cemetery and then we saw Spike fighting a vamp. He took us here. That's all we know."
"Why would you end up here if you got sucked into the TV?" asked Dawn, frowning.
"Because in our world, you people are all characters on our favourite show."
"We're TV people? So in your reality, we're not real?" Willow summarized.
"Pretty much."
"What show?" asked Anya. Andie smiled.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Buffy asked suspiciously.
"I bet we can answer any question you guys ask us about yourselves and Sunnydale," challenged April bravely.
"Alright," said Buffy. "What's my full name?" Andie scoffed.
"Too easy," she said.
"Elizabeth Anne Summers," she and April said together.
"Why did they call me William the Bloody?" Spike asked. Nobody could get this question. Not even the sodding Scoobies knew this. Andie grinned slowly and looked up at him.
"Because you used to write bloody awful poetry." Spike's jaw dropped.
"Aw.Did Spike write a wittle poem?" Xander teased.
"I told you. We know everything. Giles used to be called Ripper. He was a bad ass in his teen years. Xander lost his virginity to Faith after helping her relocate her shoulder. Tara thought she was a demon, but it turns out she's not. The Initiative put a chip in Spike's head so that he can't hurt humans. Anya is an ex-vengeance demon. You all wore maroon robes to your high school graduation. Your principal was eaten by the mayor. Dawn's the key. She didn't show up until the fourth or fifth season. Spike first showed up in episode fifteen 'School Hard.' He ran over the "Welcome to Sunnydale' sign, stepped out of his Desoto and said, 'Home sweet home.' He did the same thing in the third season when he came back, except he was really drunk and fell out of his car, then passed out. Buffy killed Angel even though he had a soul and then he came back, blah, blah, blah." She looked over at April. "What did I forget?"
"You didn't say anything about Glory and Ben or how Buffy jumped off that tower to save the world and then Spike counted the exact number of days she was gone, 147. And you forgot about how Riley was a big poof." Spike laughed at April's last comment.
"I like these girls," he said to the Scoobies.
"We could probably quote at least one line from each of you," Andie reasoned.
"Do it, do it," Dawn said.
"Okay." Andie pointed at Buffy. " 'I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.'" Buffy nodded.
"Yep. I did say that."
" 'The fifteen year old can spend half an hour alone in her locked house,'" Andie nodded at Dawn. " 'I've been saying it all along. The lunch lady's gunna kill us with that Mulligan stew. I mean, what the hell is a mulligan?"
"I said that. Incredible. That was, like, four years ago," Xander admitted.
"Third season. Episode called 'Earshot.' Buffy gets infected with an aspect of a demon and becomes telepathic," Andie elaborated.
"Oh, oh, do me," said Willow eagerly.
" 'I'm so evil and . skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay.'"
"Wow. That was so long ago. Remember vampire Willow?" The gang nodded, except for Spike and Tara. They weren't in that episode. "I wonder what ever happened to her."
"She died. Got staked by Oz seconds after returning to her world," April said sympathetically.
"Oh." Willow frowned. Dawn clapped.
"Do Spike now."
"Okay.um." Andie hesitated, then smiled devilishly. " 'A warm spring breeze tosses the leaves aside and once again we'll be registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust.'"
"When was that?" asked Xander.
"In the episode 'Something Blue.' When Willow cast the do-thy-will spell. Buffy was trying to convince Spike to have an outdoor wedding. Giles doesn't have a whole lot of great lines, but he does have some. I just can't remember any right now. But he did say to Angel, 'A vampire in love with a slayer. It's rather poetic, in a Maudlin sort of way.'"
"She's correct. I did say that. So you know everything about us."
"Yup. Sorry."
"You say that you watched us interact with each other on TV?" Andie nodded.
"What was it you were chatting about on the way here?" Spike asked. "Something about a table of roses?" Andie rolled her eyes.
" 'Tabula Rasa,' Spike." Willow frowned.
"That's a spell. It makes you forget stuff."
"It's also the title of an episode. April and I were talking about how right now we're between 'Once More With Feeling' and 'Tabula Rasa.'"
"What do you mean 'between them'?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses.
"Right now, you guys are in the middle of the sixth season. In my reality, this time period qualifies as reruns."
"We're from your future," April summarized.
"Alright, we're all here. Now, who are you?" Buffy asked tiredly.
"I'm Andie and this is April." The Scoobies and their guests were now assembled in Buffy's living room. It was around 4:30.
"Where are you from?"
"Canada."
"How did you get here?"
"We got sucked through April's TV."
"Okay, you lost me," said Xander.
"We were watching television, and then we were getting ready for bed and the television sucked us inside. We fell into the cemetery and then we saw Spike fighting a vamp. He took us here. That's all we know."
"Why would you end up here if you got sucked into the TV?" asked Dawn, frowning.
"Because in our world, you people are all characters on our favourite show."
"We're TV people? So in your reality, we're not real?" Willow summarized.
"Pretty much."
"What show?" asked Anya. Andie smiled.
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Buffy asked suspiciously.
"I bet we can answer any question you guys ask us about yourselves and Sunnydale," challenged April bravely.
"Alright," said Buffy. "What's my full name?" Andie scoffed.
"Too easy," she said.
"Elizabeth Anne Summers," she and April said together.
"Why did they call me William the Bloody?" Spike asked. Nobody could get this question. Not even the sodding Scoobies knew this. Andie grinned slowly and looked up at him.
"Because you used to write bloody awful poetry." Spike's jaw dropped.
"Aw.Did Spike write a wittle poem?" Xander teased.
"I told you. We know everything. Giles used to be called Ripper. He was a bad ass in his teen years. Xander lost his virginity to Faith after helping her relocate her shoulder. Tara thought she was a demon, but it turns out she's not. The Initiative put a chip in Spike's head so that he can't hurt humans. Anya is an ex-vengeance demon. You all wore maroon robes to your high school graduation. Your principal was eaten by the mayor. Dawn's the key. She didn't show up until the fourth or fifth season. Spike first showed up in episode fifteen 'School Hard.' He ran over the "Welcome to Sunnydale' sign, stepped out of his Desoto and said, 'Home sweet home.' He did the same thing in the third season when he came back, except he was really drunk and fell out of his car, then passed out. Buffy killed Angel even though he had a soul and then he came back, blah, blah, blah." She looked over at April. "What did I forget?"
"You didn't say anything about Glory and Ben or how Buffy jumped off that tower to save the world and then Spike counted the exact number of days she was gone, 147. And you forgot about how Riley was a big poof." Spike laughed at April's last comment.
"I like these girls," he said to the Scoobies.
"We could probably quote at least one line from each of you," Andie reasoned.
"Do it, do it," Dawn said.
"Okay." Andie pointed at Buffy. " 'I'm an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.'" Buffy nodded.
"Yep. I did say that."
" 'The fifteen year old can spend half an hour alone in her locked house,'" Andie nodded at Dawn. " 'I've been saying it all along. The lunch lady's gunna kill us with that Mulligan stew. I mean, what the hell is a mulligan?"
"I said that. Incredible. That was, like, four years ago," Xander admitted.
"Third season. Episode called 'Earshot.' Buffy gets infected with an aspect of a demon and becomes telepathic," Andie elaborated.
"Oh, oh, do me," said Willow eagerly.
" 'I'm so evil and . skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay.'"
"Wow. That was so long ago. Remember vampire Willow?" The gang nodded, except for Spike and Tara. They weren't in that episode. "I wonder what ever happened to her."
"She died. Got staked by Oz seconds after returning to her world," April said sympathetically.
"Oh." Willow frowned. Dawn clapped.
"Do Spike now."
"Okay.um." Andie hesitated, then smiled devilishly. " 'A warm spring breeze tosses the leaves aside and once again we'll be registering as Mr. and Mrs. Big Pile of Dust.'"
"When was that?" asked Xander.
"In the episode 'Something Blue.' When Willow cast the do-thy-will spell. Buffy was trying to convince Spike to have an outdoor wedding. Giles doesn't have a whole lot of great lines, but he does have some. I just can't remember any right now. But he did say to Angel, 'A vampire in love with a slayer. It's rather poetic, in a Maudlin sort of way.'"
"She's correct. I did say that. So you know everything about us."
"Yup. Sorry."
"You say that you watched us interact with each other on TV?" Andie nodded.
"What was it you were chatting about on the way here?" Spike asked. "Something about a table of roses?" Andie rolled her eyes.
" 'Tabula Rasa,' Spike." Willow frowned.
"That's a spell. It makes you forget stuff."
"It's also the title of an episode. April and I were talking about how right now we're between 'Once More With Feeling' and 'Tabula Rasa.'"
"What do you mean 'between them'?" Giles asked, cleaning his glasses.
"Right now, you guys are in the middle of the sixth season. In my reality, this time period qualifies as reruns."
"We're from your future," April summarized.
