Chapter 9: Tabula Rasa-- Part 2

"Hey, I'm Anya," she said, pronouncing her name 'Ann-ya.' She stuck a key in the interior lock of the Magic Box. "My key fits the lock and I found some forms by the register that say Rupert and Anya own the shop together," she continued proudly. "That's me. Anya Shop-owner." Giles looked around slowly.

"This is our magic shop? Well, that's... very progressive of me. You know it truly is a small mind that fails to acknowledge the, um, alternatives to our rational, scientific understanding of the universe." His gaze fell on something interesting and he changed the subject. "Oh look! Fancy herbs!"

"So you don't have a name?" Dawn asked Buffy.

"Of course I do. I just don't happen to know it," she said defensively.

"You want me to name you?"

"That's sweet, but I think I can name myself. I'll name me.. Joan."

"Ug!" Dawn groaned involuntarily.

"What? Why'd you 'ug' my name?" Buffy looked hurt.

"I didn't. It's just so.. .blarg. 'Joan'?"

"I like it. I feel like a Joan."

"Fine. That's your purgative."

"Prerogative," Buffy corrected.

"Whatever. 'Joan'."

"Whatever. 'Umad'."

Then, at the same time, Buffy said, "Boy you're a pain in the neck," and Dawn said, "Boy you're bossy." An idea seemed to overcome the both of them.

"Do you think we're-" started Dawn.

"Sisters." It felt so true, neither could deny it. They grinned at each other and hugged. Spike turned to Giles, sneering.

"You never showed me affection like that. I'd wager."

Back in the training room, their was a great deal of hilarity ensuing.

"Shhhhh," Andie begged, waving her arms frantically in an attempt to get April to stop laughing. The hilarious movement only prompted more laughter.

"But its. . .so . . .funny. . .," April gasped between giggles.

"I know, but they'll hear us. When they get their memories back, we're going to be in enough trouble without them finding us now. How would we explain us? Huh?" April immediately sobered.

"We could fake that we lost our memories, too, then when they get their memories back, they can't blame us for screwing around with them, because they'll think we were in the same state they are," she said. Andie grinned.

"Excellent." They stood at the door, preparing for the performance of a lifetime. Andie stretched her arms and neck. "No memory. No memory," she chanted. She took a deep breath and threw open the door.

"Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic mid-life crisis transport: something red, shiny, shaped like a penis," Spike was suggesting.

Everyone turned and looked at Andie and April, who had just entered the room. "Who're you?" April asked. Andie turned to April when she spoke, jumping as if she'd just noticed her for the first time.

"Who am I?" Andie said. "Who is everybody?"

"I'm Alex," Xander said proudly.

"Rupert."

"Willow Rosenburg. And this is Tara."

"I'm Dawn."

"I'm Anya Shop-owner."

"Joan." Finally, there was only Spike left.

"I'm. . .Randy Giles," he said reluctantly, wincing at the name.

"Why are you here?"

"Not a clue," Spike admitted. "You?" Andie shrugged.

"Do you two have drivers licenses?" Willow asked helpfully. Andie stuffed her hand into the pocket of her jeans and felt around. She peered into the contents of her hand, when she pulled it out. She had purposely left her license at Buffy's for just such an occasion.

"Nope. I got a few Skittles, a business card with a number on the back. . ." She frowned. "A condom. Mint flavored. . . .and a rubber ball. No license. What about you?" she asked April.

"Yep. I'm. . .Dennis B. Parker," she read off the card. "Wait, that can't be me. I don't have a mustache." She reached up and felt her upper lip.

"I'll name you if you name me," Andie suggested, grinning devilishly.

"Okay. You're. . .Kendall," April said finally.

"Fair enough. You can be Jan."

"Jan?" April groaned.

"Hey, we had an agreement!" Buffy shook her head, and jerked the door to the shop open. She screamed and slammed it shut, just as one of the vampires called out 'Slayer'.

"Did you guys see what I - " she started.

"Vampires!" Spike said.

"Maybe it's Halloween," Tara suggested uneasily.

"Doesn't feel like Halloween," Dawn said.

"Even if it is, those were definitely not kids and they were definitely not wearing costumes. Randy's right. We got vampires!" Xander replied nervously. The vampires banged on the door, rattling the doorknob in frustration.

"And I don't think they're knockin' for candy," he finished.

"Doors! We should check for other doors, make sure they're locked and then put big heavy things in front of them! Come on!" Willow said. She grabbed Xander and disappeared into the back of the shop.

"Monsters are real... Did we know this?" Buffy asked, processing everything that had happened.

"I don't know. We n-need our memories back! We have to get to the hospital!" Tara said.

"Speaking as the proprietor of a Magic Shop, I propose we fight back. We can use things here in the shop, magic... tricks or whatever they call-" Giled got cut off when a vampire slammed against the front window angrily. "Send out Spike!" he called. "They seem to want spikes," Giles observed. "Oh, I saw some . . ." Spike moved to Giles desk and returned with a handful of stakes. "Here, let's give 'em these." "Slayer! Come out and play!" was heard from behind the door. "Slay her! That's just what they said before!" Tara said. "There going to use those spikes to -" "To slay someone. A female someone," Andie interrupted lamely. "That's what I was going to say. . ." Buffy suddenly looked angry. "Who do those jerks think they are?" "Bloodsuckers, that kill, by sucking blood," Anya answered. "Take it easy, Joan."

A/N: Just incase you were wondering, there was a reason behind Andie and April's new names. Kendall was who Sarah Michelle Gellar played on All My Children and Jan was who Alyson Hannigan played on Roseanne.