Cowboy Star Fox
By Wolf O'Donnell
WARNING: This fanfic will contain swearing, graphic scenes of
death and violence and the use of British-English Spelling and
Grammar. If any of these things offend you or if you are
underaged, please do not read any further. Upon reading any word
or letter in this file, you hereby agree to forfeit all your
rights to sue me and that I cannot be held liable for any
psychological or physical damage caused by the contents of this
fanfic. Star Fox and all related characters (including me) are
copyrighted by Nintendo. Scales, Dinosaur Planet and all related
characters are copyrighted by Rare. The Gospel Army, Dr. Jerome
Kano, the Sekai Foundation and all related characters and places
are copyrighted by me.
* * * * *
Epilogue B: Encore un Verre
Fox looked down at his drink, as he sat the bar. He sighed
miserably. With the destruction of the Gospel Army and the Lylat
Syndicate, the Star Fox Team was now just as obsolete as they had
ever been since the defeat of the Venomian Empire. A smirk spread
across his face, as he thought about how it had been Andross that
was behind everything from the Lylat War, to Scales' rise to power
and to the Gospel Army.
"Andross sure was busy," he said to himself quietly.
Thoughts then turned to all the deceit that had led up to the
events of the past, those horrific events. Could they have been
prevented if the Super Vaccine Project had never been started? It
looked that way. To Fox, it seemed as if all the problems were
first started by the Cornerian Military. Was Andross really to
blame for all that he did or did he have a helping hand in
turning the Lylat System into the Hell hole that it had become?
Well, for now, it was back to being a bounty hunter, scouring
the Lylat System for the scum of the Galaxy and handing them over
to the police for rich pickings. An unstable source of income,
but no more unstable than when they had been mercenaries during
the Lylat War. Of course, then, they were always sure of having a
job no matter what.
"You know, Fox, I've been thinking," said Peppy, as
he sat on the opposite side of Falco, "is Andross really
dead? I mean, we've killed him three times now."
"What are you saying, Pep?" asked Falco. "You
think he can't take a hint and doesn't know that we all hate his
guts?" He laughed and finished off his beer. "Peppy,
Andross is gone for good this time. There's no doubt about it.
He's dead as a doornail. He is an ex-Andross."
Slippy shook his head with a heavy sigh.
"I just don't understand it myself," he said to the
others. "Once you're dead, you're dead. The Andross you guys
faced down at Dinosaur Planet and the Andross you faced down
underneath the hospital couldn't have been the same Andross."
He then pushed his beer away from himself. "There's no
possible way that you can come back from the dead, especially if
your body is blown to smithereens." Slippy thought up of an
explanation and he could only come up with one. "The
different Androsses you came across could only have been clones
of the real thing."
"What, including the one we trashed at Venom?"
queried Falco, as he placed his glass back down on the table.
"No way!"
"It's possible," mused Fox.
"Hey, we shouldn't be thinking about something depressing
like that," protested Krystal calmly. "We're here to
celebrate, aren't we?"
"Yeah, well it's pretty hard to do that if the beer's
been watered down!" stated Falco quietly at first, but then
raising his voice near the end. He looked at the new pint of beer
in front of him. That was the tenth one so far and he wasn't even
feeling the slightest bit of a buzz. "I mean, there's
something really wrong if you can drink ten of these and not feel
the slightest bit giddy."
Fox then thought about a drunk Falco Lombardi and then
shuddered at the thought of it.
"Falc', no offence, but we really don't want to see you
drunk," he told the avian. "Say, Peppy, Slippy, you
guys remember the last time Falco got drunk off his feathered
arse?"
"Oh, yeah," replied Peppy with a nod of his head.
"Kept me awake all night with his singing and did it take us
a long time to get him back to the Great Fox or what?"
"Never did get the smell of puke out of the seat covers,"
muttered Slippy with a shake of his head.
Krystal laughed at the thought of Falco drunk and sinking
songs drunkenly. The strange fact that the image suited him quite
well. Was there anything that didn't suit Falco?
"Well, I guess we'd better keep an eye on him," she
stated. "You'd better behave too," she told Fox.
"Ahem, excuse me, but I think that you're quite mistaken."
"Oh no," sighed Fox, as he buried his head in his
hands. It was Fara. He knew what happened when Fara and Krystal
got together. The Lylat War had nothing on these two. The raging
struggle between them made the Lylat War look like a friendly
chess game. "Look, Fara, Krystal, would you two give it a
rain check?" he asked the two. "The least thing we want
is for you two to be fighting over..." He stopped and
continued no further. There was no point. Fox heard the two of
them bickering over who lay claim to Fox as a boyfriend.
Peppy leaned over towards Fox with a concerned look on his
face, not that Fox noticed with his gaze focused on the bar table.
"You know, Fox, I think you'd better choose between one of
them before things get really out of hand," he whispered to
the vulpine. He had been consulted over Fox's dilemma a numerous
amount of times and it not only gave him a headache but others as
well, especially when Fara and Krystal started to throw things at
each other and people got caught in the crossfire.
Fox gritted his teeth. The big problem was that he couldn't
choose between the two. In his eyes they were both beautiful and
he didn't want to see one or the other hurt, but at this rate,
the two would hurt each other. He had never seen anyone so
persistant and these two were very persistant indeed. Even with
him not deciding between the two, they still fought over him as
if he was the ultimate prize, which he probably was. The fact
that he loved them both, drove him mad. What was a guy supposed
to do in such a situation?
The vulpine thought back to when he had last been in a
triangle relationship. It was before he met Fara and he had a
girlfriend then. What was her name again? He forgot, but it was
something along the lines of Ryoko. Anyway, he hadn't the nerve
to dump Ryoko for Fara. In fact, he had ended up in a
relationship with no displays of affection between the two
girlfriends in fear of offending the other. He had never got
round to dumping Ryoko. She was a formidable woman and Fox had
learnt the hardway that it didn't pay to displease her. In the
end, Ryoko had dumped Fox.
"Look, Fara, Krystal, would you two stop it?"
shouted Fox.
"So, who do you love then?" asked Fara.
"Yeah, who?" asked Krystal sternly. "Me, right?"
Love had always been an awkard subject to Fox and he had never
been very competent at it. He was always oblivious to woman that
had a crush on him and it took him so long to try and ask a girl
out that they usually asked him out first. This time was no
exception. Fox started babbling incomprehensibly.
"What?"
"Uh, I have to go to the little fox's room," blurted
out Fox quickly and ran for it. He quickly made his way past the
drunks in the bar. How they had managed to get drunk, he didn't
know, but they were drunk. 'They're probably drinking anti-freeze
on the side,' he thought to himself, as he made his way through
into the men's room. He quickly walked over to one of the
sinks and peered into the mirror just to look at himself. It had
been ages since he had really looked at himself and got to know
himself a little better. Fox looked into the mirror and saw
himself staring back at himself with ten times more intensity
that he put in. Perhaps they were distorting mirrors, but Fox
severely doubted that. "Urgh, they're starting to get to me,"
he sighed to himself, as he turned the tap on.
- Encore un verre, cette fois sera la derniere
- Tchin Tchin! Campé! Kampai! Santé!
- Ma mère disait "qui a bu boira"
- Bien que avisé, je suis vissé la
Translation:
- Another glass, this time will be the last
- Chink, chink! Set down, Kampai health!
- My mother said "who has drunk will drink"
- Even though advised, I am screwed there.
Fox scooped up some water and splashed it across his face.
There. He needed that. Now he looked up and looked at himself in
the mirror and started to smooth his fur down. As he did so, he
tried his best to summon up all his courage to tell Fara and
Krystal what he really thought about them. However, the courage
soon swirled away as if it was water in a colander.
Why was it that he had enough courage to face down hordes of
enemy ships, evil scientists, SharpClaws and even mutant monsters
but had no courage when it came to girlfriends? It seemed rather
bizarre and perverted even. Why was life like that? Fox just
couldn't understand.
- Ce soir, je broie du noir
- Je noie au bar
- En vrac, mon BLUES dans du cognac
- Encore un verre, le der des der désalrtère
Translation:
- This night, I mope
- I drown at the bar
- My jumbled blues in cognac
- Another glass, the last of the last refreshes
Closing his eyes, Fox thought about his father and what he
would say at a time like that. That was an easy one.
"Trust your instincts," he recited carefully. "Never
give up." Easier said than done. He feared what would happen
if he rejected one of them. Would Fara or Krystal be like Ryoko?
He had heard of rejection being painful and if any of them were
like Ryoko, he would end up with all the pain and lots of bruises
to prove it.
Still, things were better now than they used to be. Scales was
behind bars. Andross was gone, as was Kano, the Gospel Army and
the Lylat Syndicate. They were all gone. Even Andrew Oikonny,
Leon Powalski and Pigma Dengar were dead. The Star Wolf Team was
no more. Yet, now that he thought about it, he felt as if he had
forgotten something or rather, someone. Someone was unaccounted
for. Now who could he have forgotten? Caiman? No, that reptilian
was safely behind bars too, but serving a reduced sentence thanks
to his part in helping them find the Lylat Syndicate HQ.
Now his thoughts were focused on that someone, that missing
someone. Fox couldn't quite figure out who it was that they
hadn't apprehended or made sure was truly dead. There was someone
whose body was never found, someone who could be out there and
plotting their revenge against the Star Fox Team. Yet Fox just
couldn't remember who it was.
- "Bien mal acquis ne profite jamais"
- "Poorly gained never profits"
- Mais ce whiskey je l'ai pa volé
- C'est ce que dit la serveuse, une allumeuse
- Qui tient la bouteille dans sa main
- Je lève mon verre à ceux qui marchent de travers
Translation:
- "Poorly gained never profits"
- But I have not stolen this whisky
- That's what the waitress said, a teaser
- Who holds the bottle in her hand
- I lift my glass at those who walk askew
Fox walked away from the sink and stepped back out in the
bar. He looked towards his friends and saw the smiles on their
faces. It seemed as if Fara and Krystal had somehow stopped
fighting. They were happy, yet he had this worried feeling deep
down inside him.
"I guess we'll just have to deal with him or her when they
rear their ugly heads again," he sighed to himself, before
he made his way back to the others.
Yes, they were victorious over their enemies, but not quite.
The victory would be short-lived at best, yet Fox didn't want
that to dampen their spirits. Together, they'd be able to face
down whatever troubles came their way. Whoever it was that Fox
had forgotten about, that person wouldn't be able to defeat the
Star Fox Team, not when they have each other...
- "Un tiens vaut mieux que deux tu l'auras"
- "Qui sème le vent récole la tempête"
- Carpe Diem"
- "Un homme averti en vaut deux"
Translation:
- "One head is better than two you will have"
- "Who sows the wind gathers the storm"
- "Seize the day"
- "A man warned is worth two"
"Perhaps I'll go to Dinosaur Planet and see whether
that Well in the Maze can give me any clues," thought Fox to
himself. "Yeah, I'll go first thing in the morning." He
decided that he'd leave by himself for Dinosaur Planet, visit
Prince Tricky and then go to the Well in the Maze underneath the
WarpStone. Fox remembered having a few tokens left over and he
decided that he would use them in the Well. Perhaps he would be
able to find out more about his future like he did the last time
he visited there.
The End?
Congratulations! Your observations earned you the Neutral
Ending. The lyrics featured in this Epilogue are from Yoko
Kanno's, Encore un Verre. There is, however, one matter
that is unresolved. There are two Secret Epilogues to this
fanfic. To find them, translate and then answer the below
question. Whichever answer you choose, follow the instructions
attached to it. The following question is written in Dinosaur
Language and some of it has been translated for you.
NXASX EV NECV'J OOOJ SUD JOO KXO VIKIHO, KXO COVK EDO EH KXO HAWXK EDO?
W--C- O- --L-'S EY-- -A- -E- -H- F--U-E, --- ---- -NE -R --- -IG-T --E?
Right ..... go to Secret Epilogue A: Blue
Left ....... go to Secret Epilogue B: Forever Broke