Dancing Saiya-jins
By: Kelly M. Maraglia
*DBZ & all characters & such are property of Toriyama-sama.
I also do not own the "Men in Tights" song or any other song.
One day Chibi Trunks and Goten were sparring and became bored.
"Trunks, I'm bored!" Goten whined.
"I know why don't we look at the cool inventions in my Mom's lab?" Chibi Trunks suggested.
"Great idea, I love pushing buttons!" Goten cheered.
Trunks suddenly had a bad feeling about this.
They moved to the lab and discovered that Bulma had been working on an advanced version of Mirai Trunks' time capsule.
"According to these blueprints, this time capsule can go across dimensions, too. Isn't that cool, Goten? Goten?" Trunks began looking for his friend, only to find him pressing buttons in the time capsule.
"No, Goten, you might turn it on!" Trunks yelled and jumped into the machine to stop his friend, but they both became trapped inside.
Bulma returned to the lab with a cup of coffee and Vegeta on her heels demanding she fix the Gravity Room to see their son and his friend trapped in her invention.
"Trunks Goten, no!" She screamed as the time capsule zapped into the air.
Trunks and Goten arrived on a strange planet.
"Where are we?" Goten asked.
"I don't know stupid, you set the controls!" Trunks yelled angrily.
"I'm sorry Trunks!" Goten started to wail.
"Shhh, be quiet! We need to figure out where and when we are!" Trunks said, examining the controls.
"According to this, we have traveled to the past, thirty years back! These coordinates are not Earth's either. Let us see." Trunks exclaimed and picked up a book of coordinates that his father had helped his mother compile.
"We are on…Planet Frost?" Trunks nearly screamed.
"Is that why it's so cold?" Goten asked, shivering.
"Goten we HAVE to get out of here!" Trunks yelled, but the time capsule would not budge.
"It needs an hour to cool off before it can be used again. Dammit! Oh well, we have no choice. We will have to quietly explore for an hour. This is a planet we definitely do not want to be seen on!" Trunks explained seriously.
The two boys jumped out of the time capsule and decapsulized it.
"Shall we go?" Trunks asked.
"Yeah!" Goten replied and they went exploring.
"What the hell happened, Woman?" Vegeta screamed while Bulma collapsed on the floor, sobbing.
"I was working on a time and space capsule. They must have been locked inside. Wait, maybe I can trace it!" Bulma said excitedly and jumped to her computer.
After ten minutes of scanning, the computer locked onto the capsule.
"We cannot reach them! We can only hope they can stay safe for an hour until the machine is ready to be used again." Bulma said sobbing.
"Where and when are they, Woman?" Vegeta asked, concern creeping into his voice.
"Let's match the coordinates." Bulma suggested and took out her coordinate calculator.
"Well, they are thirty years in the past and they are on…Planet Frost." Bulma finished.
"What?" Vegeta yelled and stared at the calculator, praying it was wrong.
"Isn't that Frieza's planet?" Bulma asked, praying she was wrong.
Vegeta nodded solemnly.
"What's worse is that thirty years ago, I was there! This could be bad. Do you have another capsule?" Vegeta asked.
"I was working on a backup, considering this one was practically done." Bulma answered.
"How long till the backup is completed?" Vegeta asked who was already tinkering away on the other capsule.
"If you help me, thirty minutes." Bulma answered a pleading look in her eyes.
"Then I'll help you. We will get him back, Bulma. I promise." Vegeta spoke softly and kissed his mate briefly before they set upon their task.
"So what is so great about this planet, Trunks?" Goten asked.
"Don't you know, Goten, this is Frieza's planet!" Trunks answered.
"Frieza, I thought my Dad defeated him!" Goten exclaimed.
"Two things Goten: First, my future self finished off Frieza and two; we are thirty years in the past so he is still alive! In fact, wait, maybe my Dad is here! We can see him when he was younger! Let's go Goten!" Trunks yelled excitedly. Goten smiled happily as the two raced off toward the fortress which loomed over the planet.
The little super Saiya-jins snuck quietly through the fortress, suppressing their power so it could not be detected on scouters. They came to a huge door at the end of a hallway and could the sounds of someone getting beat up inside.
They were about to sneak in when someone came down the hallway. Trunks recognized Nappa and Radditz from his father's description.
"Is he going to humiliate us again?" Radditz asked.
"Probably, Frieza is a sick bastard after all! Besides, if it will keep him away from the Prince then we have no choice." Nappa replied.
"You're right." Radditz sighed.
When they opened the door, the kids snuck in and were luckily not seen.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" Frieza's feminine voice filled the room as Radditz shut it behind them.
Trunks ventured a look into the room and what he saw infuriated him so much that Goten had to hold him back. Ten-year-old Prince Vegeta was lying on the floor, bruised and bloody. Nappa and Radditz immediately ran to him. When they offered him a hand up, he simply pushed it away.
"I am the Saiya-jin Prince! I do not need help!" Vegeta yelled.
Trunks smiled. It seems his father had not changed much in thirty years. Goten suppressed a giggle at how young Vegeta's voice sounded. Trunks elbowed him in the gut to keep him quiet.
"Well, now that you are here, the torture shall begin." Frieza announced. Prince Vegeta's eyes grew wide with fear, Nappa and Radditz winced, and Trunks and Goten looked on wondering what could frighten Vegeta so much.
Frieza then proceeded to tie Vegeta down to a chair in front of a stage area and instructed Nappa and Radditz to get onstage.
Trunks had a bad feeling.
"Begin." Frieza ordered.
Nappa and Radditz sighed and began to sing and dance.
We're men
We're men in tights
We roam around the galaxy looking for fights
We're men
We're men in tights
We kill the rich, and kill the poor that's right!
We may look like sissies
But watch what you say or else we'll put out your lights
We're men
We're men in tights
Always on guard displaying our Saiyan might
At this point, Prince Vegeta was cringing in terror and Trunks and Goten were at the point of screaming in horror. In fact, Trunks had to cover Goten's mouth because he was screaming in horror. Frieza laughed while Nappa and Radditz destroyed their pride to save their Prince.
Alas the song continued.
Lala la la la la etc. (Nappa and Radditz begin a kick line.)
We're men, manly men
We're men in tights. Yes!
We roam around the galaxy looking for fights
We're men
We're men in tights
We kill the rich and kill the poor that's right!
We may look like pansies
But don't get us wrong or else we'll punch out your lights
We're men
We're men in tights. Tight tights!
Always on guard displaying our Saiyan might
When you're in a fix just call for men in tights
We're butch!
With the end of the song, Nappa caught Radditz in his arms and they posed that way for a few seconds then Nappa dropped the other Saiya-jin. Prince Vegeta had tears coming out of his eyes. It was the most humiliating experience to ever witness. Trunks and Goten were so busy staring at the horrific show that they failed to notice Zarbon standing right behind them.
"What do we have here?" He asked in his smooth Australian-English accent.
"Busted." Trunks and Goten stated and tried to scramble away but Zarbon caught them both by the edges of their shirts and brought them to Frieza.
"Well, well what do we have here?" Frieza asked his voice sounding female to the scared boys.
"Kakarrott?" Radditz murmured as he stared at Goten.
Trunks sighed. He knew no one would recognize him, but Goten was the mirror image of his father.
Luckily, Frieza was not paying attention.
"Did you enjoy the show?" Frieza asked, holding up Trunks' chin with one finger.
"First of all, do not touch me, you freak! Second, no, I did not enjoy the show! Thirdly, how dare you use the mighty Saiya-jin race for your own amusement you creepy lizard?" Trunks yelled furiously.
Frieza grabbed him by the neck and flung him across the room.
"Are you alright?" Someone asked Trunks and lifted him up.
He looked up to see Prince Vegeta standing next to him.
"Uh, yes, thank you Prince Vegeta." Trunks replied, unsure of what to say to his ten-year-old father.
"Vegeta stay out of this!" Frieza ordered.
Prince Vegeta stood in front of Trunks.
"I don't know who you are, but you defended my race like it was your own! I appreciate that." Prince Vegeta told Trunks.
Goten stood beside Trunks and Nappa and Radditz stood beside Vegeta.
"So a mutiny, huh, fine, I will get rid of all you pathetic monkeys!" Frieza sneered and fired a blast directly at Vegeta.
"No!" Trunks screamed and pushed the Prince out of the way.
"How could possibly move that fast?" Frieza asked incredulously.
"Saiya-jins are not monkeys!" Trunks screamed and turned into a Super Saiya-jin. He attacked Frieza head-on.
"I would stop if I were you." Zarbon spoke as he held Prince Vegeta and Goten unconscious in his arms. Nappa and Radditz were on the floor, unconscious as well. Trunks had no choice. He powered down and Frieza wasted no time making him into a punching bag.
Just when Trunks thought he could take no more, someone hit Zarbon on the head from behind, making him drop the kids. He turned around and saw…
"Mom, what are you doing here?" Trunks yelled to Bulma as she stood there with a broken board in her hand.
"Trying to save my little boy who decided to play around in my lab!" Bulma answered angrily.
"I'm sorry Mom. If we get home alive, you can ground me if you want." Trunks said, trying to pacify his mother.
"I intend to." Bulma answered.
"I want to play with her later, Zarbon, capture her!" Frieza ordered.
"As you wish, Lord Frieza." Zarbon answered and advanced toward Bulma.
Suddenly, the ceiling was blasted and fell on Zarbon's head, knocking him out.
"What took you so long?" Bulma yelled.
"I was enjoying you taking on Zarbon!" A voice laughed from the shadows.
"Who is there?" Frieza asked angrily.
"I know it sounds cliché, but your worst nightmare." Adult Prince Vegeta answered as he entered the room in his Super Saiya-jin form.
"Vegeta?" Frieza asked incredulously.
"I am the spirit of the Legendary Super Saiya-jin and I am here to take revenge for my people!" Vegeta answered.
Frieza backed away in fear.
Ten minutes later
While Nappa and Radditz were still unconscious, young Prince Vegeta awoke to see the purple-haired boy and his friend with two adults laughing at something. He snuck closer to see. What he saw he would never forget.
Frieza was onstage, in a frilly pink dress that said BADGIRL on the front and he was singing and dancing.
I'm a Barbie Girl
In a Barbie World
Etc.
Trunks saw the young Prince and invited him to have a front row seat. The Prince laughed heartily at the sight.
"Who are you all?" He asked.
"We are the future." Bulma answered, smiling at the young Prince then back at her mate, who was still laughing at Frieza.
The young Prince stared at adult Vegeta in awe. He was still in his Super Saiya-jin form and sporting Saiya-jin armor.
"Is that me?" The young Prince asked.
"I could be. You have a long way to go before you reach this stage, but train hard and never forget where you're from, and you will become a Super Saiya-jin!" Adult Vegeta told his younger self.
"My father told me that once." The young Prince said solemnly.
"I know." Adult Vegeta replied, remembering his father's words.
With that, Super Saiya-jin Vegeta knocked Frieza out and Bulma administered a memory loss drug that would make him forget the past hour. This way, he would not punish the Saiya-jins for their mini-mutiny.
"Time to go!" Trunks said as he and Goten climbed into the capsule with his parents.
"Wait!" Young Prince Vegeta called as he floated up to the top of the capsule.
"Please take this." He ripped the Saiya-jin royal crest off his ripped armor and gave it to Trunks. Trunks looked at it in awe.
"Thank you." He said, smiling.
"From one Prince of the Saiya-jin to another." The young Prince said knowingly and smirked.
Trunks mirrored the smirk and nodded.
Then the travelers from the future made their way home.
