I Can't Go There
A short Hiei song fic, the song is "I Can't Go There" by Kenny Chesney. Download it!
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Hiei walked through the streets in the Ningenkai, the cold snow breezing by his frowning face. Every year on the 24th of December Hiei would come to the Ningenkai and morn the lost of his first and last love, Dakota Urameshi, she was Yusuke's cousin and a beauty at that. It had been a year now, but Hiei could still remember her face like it was only yesterday. It was always smiling, making her slightly pale skin glow…. Just like an angel. She'd come to live with Yusuke and his mom after her parents had gotten killed, Hiei fell in love with her the moment he saw her. That long raven black hair, and dark eyes made her look so forbidden and mysterious. Hiei looked to the side of where he was walking and saw that he was on Highway 1…. the place they'd had their first date.
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You know that restaurant on highway 1
with the key lime pie that song the sand and the sun
where we ran in our bare feet, built a castle on the beach
just the wind, the rocks, the waves and you and me
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Hiei walked down to the restaurant and saw a sign that read, "Out Of Business"; Hiei's heart sank into his chest. He looked into the dusty windows and began to have a flashback…. He saw himself and Dakota, sitting there in the booth next to the window, Dakota had been the only human able to make Hiei respect other humans and like human things. Hiei wrapped his cloak around himself tighter as he walked down to the beach, he saw himself and Dakota again…. running around in the sand, splashing around in the water and building those sandcastles. Hiei closed his eyes, remembering Dakota's laugh, her smile…. and her touch. He opened his eyes at once, for a moment, it seemed like he felt Dakota's warm touch on his skin again.
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I can't go there, cause that's just too much us.
I can't go there, I still feel your touch.
There are places in my heart and head that feel as empty as our bed, so most
nights I don't even walk upstairs
Cause I can't go there.
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Hiei walked into his house that he and Dakota had bought in the Ningenkai after they'd gotten married. They'd had so many memories. The moment Hiei walked in he heard his daughter crying, he rushed up to the nursery and picked up the little Kodomo. She had been born a month before Dakota had gotten killed, Hiei looked down at the now calming baby girl. She looked just like her mother…. only with her father's eyes. "Shh, it's okay Tenshi" Hiei whispered. "Daddy's here"
The child calmed down, and nuzzled her little face into Hiei's chest. Hiei smiled sadly and kissed his top of his child's head and then placed her back down in the crib, pulling the blankets up over her and then placed the bear that Dakota had made next to her. Hiei looked around the nursery and saw the image of Dakota sitting in the rocking chair with Tenshi in her arms, singing her to sleep.
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Remember San Francisco on that cable car
Our reflection in the window of that store
How we danced the night away
With the lights out on the bay
Then wound up in a blanket on the floor
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Hiei sat in the living room, the fire roaring and cackling in the fireplace. He remembered the first Christmas Eve they'd spent in their house as newly weds. He looked over to the Christmas tree and saw images of he and Dakota trimming the tree and Dakota hanging two Christmas ornaments on his ears. Hiei laughed sadly at that memory and then looked down at the box in his lap, he pulled the top off and looked at all the memories pouring out. He picked up a few pictures from when he, Dakota, Kayko, Yusuke, Kurama, Botan, Yukina and Kuwabara had gone to the States and went to San Francisco. Hiei looked at the pictures of he and Dakota that Botan had taken…. They were sitting in a cable car, and Dakota had both her index fingers behind his head, making him look like a rabbit. Hiei felt a tear roll down his face at that, he closed his eyes and remembered the store they'd went to and the way they danced on the docks with only the light of the moon and the beautiful night they had when they first made love to each other.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't go there, cause 'Friscos too much us.
I can't go there, I still feel your touch.
Now there's places in my heart and head that still feel as empty as our bed, so
most nights I don't even walk upstairs
Cause I can't go there
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Hiei opened his eyes and put the pictures from California back and rustled through the others and found their wedding pictures, they'd gotten married in Florida, down by the beach. Hiei remembered that day so well, Yukina was Dakota's maid of honor and Botan and Kayko were her brides' maids. Yusuke had been his best man fallowed by Kurama and Kuwabara. Hiei looked down at the picture with all of them, it had been the best day of his life. They were all so happy. Hiei tried not to break down and cry as he looked at the pictures from their honeymoon, they'd went on a cruise. There was a picture of Dakota, leaning against the railing on the ship, the setting sun behind her, her dark hair blowing freely.
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If it was only Florida or California, maybe I could let
myself move on but its everywhere we've been.
And everywhere I turn I can't love again, cause I've learned. That I can't go
there It's somethin I can't do I can't go there I'll run into you I can't go
there
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Hiei continued to look through the box; he found so many pictures of them at football games, in Reikai and Makai, playing in the rain, jumping into leaves during the fall, on the beach in the summer, building snowmen in the winter and kissing under the mistletoe at Christmas parties. Hiei soon found a tape and looked at it. He couldn't think of what it was, so he placed it into the VCR and pressed play.
"Hiei! Its time… call Yusuke and the others!" Dakota's voice sounded. Hiei knew right off what it was, it was their tape of Tenshi's birth.
Hiei watched, hearing Dakota scream and cry during the birth of Tenshi, the cries of the little baby girl when she was born, and then cheers from the others when they learned that he was a father of a beautiful, 8lb. 9oz. baby girl. Hiei began crying when he saw Dakota holding Tenshi, they both looked like two beautiful angels.
"I love you Hiei," Dakota's voice rang from the TV, Hiei had to get up and stop the tape there. He began crying even more. The first love he'd ever had was ripped away from him…. He never truly got to show her how much he really loved her. Hiei got up and went over to the bay window that faced the beach, he looked up at the snow filled sky and smiled a bit.
"Dakota, I hope you know that I truly did love you…. with everything I had" Hiei whispered.
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When the sun shines, when it rains, Christmas parties, football games, I can't go there. Winter, summer, fall or spring I see you in everything. I can't go there, its too much us I can't go there
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The meanings of some of the words used in the fic:
Reikai - Spirit World
Makai - Demon World
Kodomo - Child (ren)
Ningenkai - Human World
Tenshi - Angel
