Chapter 4

A number of things flashed through Dumbledore's head as he stood there weakly holding his wand and staring at the tank heading towards him. The first thing that crossed his mind was why the ministry of magic so adamantly insisted on hiding the wizard world's way of life from the general public. Surely it would be for the benefit of mankind to utilise the potential of magic to its fullest, instead of the fortunate few who possessed such abilities constantly keeping their skills hidden from the world. The second thing that passed through Dumbledore's head was a bullet as Arthur Weasley lept from the tank firing madly. No reason for his actions, but the senior Mr.Weasley didn't like to see anyone pulling a wand on his son, who he was unaware had actually been killed several days prior to the current events, and had been replaced with a T-1000 mimetic poly-alloy liquid metal cyberdyne model terminator.

As Dumbledore fell to the ground, Ron turned to face his family. Like a hobo on a ham sandwich, they all charged towards him, eagerly grabbing him and throwing him inside the tank where he would be safe from any further attacks. Seconds later, Lupin, Sirius and Shacklebolt came busting back into the hall. Ginny Weasley made a run for the tank, but Shacklebolt was packing some serious heat, and with one firm press of his finger, a rocket was making its way swiftly through the air and in her direction. Her ginger hair was instantly turned to carbon as the rocket exploded.

"No more sequels for her" Remus Lupin said unconscientiously as the trio strode past her flaming corpse and over to the tank. With a swish of his wand, Sirius had the tank open and had dragged Arthur, Molly, George, Fred and Percy Weasley out and into the centre of the hall where Shacklebolt proceeded to put a bullet in each, completing their mission. Well, apart from Ron...who kinda screwed up the whole thing when he leaped out of the tank and ripped off Kingsley Shacklebolt's head. He threw it aside like the now useless lump of meat it was and marched towards Sirius and Lupin.

Both sweared extremely loudly, realising the inevitability of their fate. It was worse for Sirius though, because as they say 'you only live twice'. It would take an incredible stroke of luck to save the remaining two marauders now, which came in the form of young Hermione Granger with a big plastic bag full of fridge magnets. "Quickly, throw these fridge magnets at the liquid metal Ron and it will disrupt his molecular structure and kill him" She yelled.

"Where the hell did you find that out?" Sirius replied.

"From the library. Gilderoy Lockhart's new book 'Robots from the future and me' was released last week, it has a whole chapter on what to do when your best friend and potential future husband is replaced by an evil killer cyborg from a dark and noirish future where humans find themselves in a battle for their survival against not apes, but machines."

"Er, okay" Lupin muttered under his breath as the three of them began to throw the Teletubbies and Bob the Builder fridge magnets, collected from Cereal packets, at Ron Weasley.

At first, they did nothing more then stick to him, slowing his progress slightly as he walked towards them. But as the hundredth magnet hit him in the face, he found the weight overwhelming, and fell to the floor unable to move. The easiest thing now was for Sirius and Lupin to both heave the metal heap off the floor and toss him out the stained glass windows. He fell 200 feet onto the rocks below, then slid down to the bottom of the lake, still unable to move, and not in a hurry to either. The fridge magnets had done something miraculous to the Ron Weasley terminator. As he lay under a mass of water staring up into the Dipsy and Laa-Laa magnets that covered his eyes, he found his programmed urge to kill Harry drifting away into the abyss and discovered a new and docile way of survival. Not that it mattered anyway, for when you are laying at the bottom of a bottomless lake covered in fridge magnets... you're not escaping anytime soon.

Back in the main hall, Snape and Harry were slowly creeping back inside to see how the whole thing had gone. It appeared that during their brief absence, Snape had been shopping with his £50 bribe, and now sported a pair of Ray-ban sunglasses to match his black robes. Harry definitely looked forward to the future with this new fun loving and cool Snape opposed to the old bastard who used to urinate into their potions.

"How did it go?" Harry asked as he kicked aside Kingsley Shacklebolt's decapitated cranium. "Well, accidents happen, but I like to think that we got the job done. Surely another success story for the B-team" Lupin replied. "Yes" Sirius concurred, "the only problem now is that we require someone to replace Kingsley. I would ask you Severus, but you have a track record of betrayal."

"What!!!!" Snape screamed back in shock.

"Oh come on Snivellus, the list is endless. Die Hard, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Michael Collins; you keep screwing over people who trust you. You will never be a part of the B-team. We need someone new, someone original, someone nobody would ever expect to find in a Warner Bros film!"

At that moment of desperate confusion and despair, salvation came as the main doors swung open and a figure emerged. An ethereal being made of light, who cast white beams deep into the eyes of those standing before him, all fell to their knees apart from Snape who's sunglasses were proving their worth.

"WHO ARE YOU? SHOW YOURSELF!" Lupin screamed, trying to cover his face.

Out of the light emerged Gandalf, robed in white and carrying a new staff.

"I come back to you now at the turn of the tide"

Furiously, Sirius rose and grabbed Gandalf by the collar, throwing him head first out of the stained glass window the way Ron went. He then lent out and shouted after him. "WRONG FRANCHISE MCKELLAN YOU BLOODY IDIOT"

TO BE CONTINUED...