"Cell Block Tango"
(This is dedicated to every single reviewer of mine. All of you!)
*scene: Six cells are in a row. The cell bars are blood red. Six shadowed women are standing, holding the bars in various poses. A dementor's silhouette passes in front of them, but fades into the dark.
Jail master: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Merry Murderesses of Azkaban's Death Row.... *fades to nothing *
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini
(ALL)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
(Ginny)
I betcha you would have done the same!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent) Zabini!
(Lavendar (Spoken))
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Seamus.
Seamus liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
Well, I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Seamus layin'
on the hearthrug, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Seamus, you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took my wand out of my pocket
and I fired two warning spells...
...into his head.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(ALL)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(Hermione (Spoken))
I met Ezekiel Young from
America about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
mix him a drink, we'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
two and a half of a flat.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my arse. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I mixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their Draught of Death.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself
To blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself
to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(Lavendar, Hermione, Ginny, Millicent]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
(Padma and Fleur)
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz
(Ginny (Spoken))
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
muggle style, for better taste
and in storms my husband Draco,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' Potter!"
he says. He was right!
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin Potter!"
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!
(GIRLS)
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
Pop, Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
(ALL)
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
(Fleur (Spoken)) *indistinguishable French*
(Ginny (Spoken))
Yeah, but did you do it?
(Fleur)
UH UH, not guilty!
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it tricks in a row,
one,two,three,
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
He had
It coming
He had it coming...
(Padma)
My sister, Parvati and
I did this double act
and my husband, Dean,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did these 20 acrobatic
four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in London,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Parvati and
Dean doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my wand
I even knew they were dead.
(Padma)
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They had it coming
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They had it coming
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They took a flower
(Padma)
All along
(GIRLS)
In its prime
(Padma)
I didn't do it
(GIRLS)
And then they used it
(Padma)
But if I'd done it
(GIRLS)
And they abused it
(Padma)
How could you tell me
(GIRLS)
It was a murder
[Padma]
That I was wrong?
(GIRLS)
But not a crime!
(Millicent)
I loved Blaise Zabini
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Celestina,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Jack.
I guess you can say we broke
up because our artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(ALL)
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
All along
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us And they abused us
And they abused us
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
How could you tell us
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(Lavendar (Spoken))
You pop that gum one more time!
(Hermione (spoken))
Single my ass.
(Ginny (Spoken))
Ten times!
(Fleur (Spoken))
*indistinguishable French*
(Padma (Spoken))
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
(Millicent (Spoken))
Artistic differences.
(ALL)
I betcha you would have done the same!
*fade to dark*
(This is dedicated to every single reviewer of mine. All of you!)
*scene: Six cells are in a row. The cell bars are blood red. Six shadowed women are standing, holding the bars in various poses. A dementor's silhouette passes in front of them, but fades into the dark.
Jail master: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Merry Murderesses of Azkaban's Death Row.... *fades to nothing *
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent)
Zabini
(ALL)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
(Ginny)
I betcha you would have done the same!
(Lavender)
Pop
(Hermione)
Six
(Ginny)
Squish
(Fleur)
Uh uh
(Padma)
London
(Millicent) Zabini!
(Lavendar (Spoken))
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Seamus.
Seamus liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
Well, I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Seamus layin'
on the hearthrug, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Seamus, you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took my wand out of my pocket
and I fired two warning spells...
...into his head.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(ALL)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(Hermione (Spoken))
I met Ezekiel Young from
America about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
mix him a drink, we'd have dinner.
Well, it was like heaven in
two and a half of a flat.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my arse. Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I mixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their Draught of Death.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself
To blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself
to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!
(Lavendar, Hermione, Ginny, Millicent]
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
(Padma and Fleur)
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh
Cicero, Lipschitz
(Ginny (Spoken))
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
muggle style, for better taste
and in storms my husband Draco,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' Potter!"
he says. He was right!
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin Potter!"
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!
(GIRLS)
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
Pop, Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
Pop,Six,
Squish,Uh-uh,
London,Lipschitz
(ALL)
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
(Fleur (Spoken)) *indistinguishable French*
(Ginny (Spoken))
Yeah, but did you do it?
(Fleur)
UH UH, not guilty!
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself to blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it tricks in a row,
one,two,three,
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
He had
It coming
He had it coming...
(Padma)
My sister, Parvati and
I did this double act
and my husband, Dean,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in
our act, we did these 20 acrobatic
four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops,
one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in London,
the three of us, sittin' up
in a hotel room, boozin' and
havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
I come back, open the door
and there's Parvati and
Dean doing Number Seventeen-
the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my wand
I even knew they were dead.
(Padma)
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They had it coming
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They had it coming
(Padma)
They had it coming
(GIRLS)
They took a flower
(Padma)
All along
(GIRLS)
In its prime
(Padma)
I didn't do it
(GIRLS)
And then they used it
(Padma)
But if I'd done it
(GIRLS)
And they abused it
(Padma)
How could you tell me
(GIRLS)
It was a murder
[Padma]
That I was wrong?
(GIRLS)
But not a crime!
(Millicent)
I loved Blaise Zabini
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Celestina,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Jack.
I guess you can say we broke
up because our artistic differences.
He saw himself as alive
and I saw him dead.
(GIRLS)
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(ALL)
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
They had it comin'
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
They had it comin'
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
All along
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us And they abused us
And they abused us
(Lavender, Hermione, Millicent)
How could you tell us
(Padma, Ginny, Fleur)
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(Lavendar (Spoken))
You pop that gum one more time!
(Hermione (spoken))
Single my ass.
(Ginny (Spoken))
Ten times!
(Fleur (Spoken))
*indistinguishable French*
(Padma (Spoken))
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
(Millicent (Spoken))
Artistic differences.
(ALL)
I betcha you would have done the same!
*fade to dark*
