Chapter 7

"And then he was in this movie called Dragonheart, which was pretty good. And finally, he got cast as you in the film of my third year at school." As Harry finished explaining who David Thewlis was, he realised that Lupin had fallen fast asleep, so was therefore completely ignoring him. Harry frowned irritably and exited the room, wondering over into Sirius office where things were much more interesting. Sirius sat wearing sunglasses on a deckchair, a hole blasted through the roof so he could catch the sun without having to leave the safety of the office. The cricket was playing loudly on his television. "Hi Sirius" Harry said cheerily, as he entered. Sirius turned abruptly, knocking his cocktail onto the floor and spilling it. "Oh...er, hi Harry. What brings you to these parts?" "Lupin gave me the job. So I guess from now on you'll be addressing me as Mr.Potter"

"Don't get your hopes up kid." Sirius replied, glaring at Harry angrily. For the briefest of moments Harry was reminded of the cold murderer he had seen on the front page of the Daily Prophet all those years ago. "Whatever you want Sirius. Harry...Mr.Potter... you can call me what you like." "That's better" Sirius growled. "Good to see you showing a little respect to your elders."

Harry paused for a moment, before sitting on the edge of Sirius' desk. "So, Sirius...I was thinking, Its Remus birthday coming up soon." "Indeed Harry. 40 years old. Big day." "Yes, well, I was thinking we could buy him something better if we got him something jointly." "Okay, what did you have in mind?" "I was thinking we could buy him a razor to shave off his moustache. You know, JK Rowling never said Lupin had a moustache in the books. I think it would make logical sense Sirius, as then he would be fitting in with the original descriptions laid out by JK, instead of trying to twist them into something new and strange." "What are you talking about Harry" Sirius muttered to himself, a little confused by what Harry was babbling on about.

"I am saying that Remus Lupin for some reason suddenly has a moustache, and it is pissing me off." Harry shouted back.

"WHAT!?!?!?!" Sirius screamed in reply, so loud that it awoke Lupin in the other room. Lupin came striding in, and stood in the doorway confused as to what all the noise was about.

"REMUS...HARRY HERE TELLS ME YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE."

"Errr, no Sirius that isn't true." Remus garbled as he fumbled in his pocket for something to quickly cut off his moustache with. Harry stepped backwards behind Sirius and lifted his hand, removing Sirius sunglasses for him. Sirius blinked for a second, adjusting to the brightness of the room then caught Lupin's eye.

"REMUS IT'S TRUE!!!!!!!!"

The sheer anger in Sirius voice forced Lupin to the ground, floods of tears falling down his face and his left hand desperately covering his moustache.

"SIRIUS I'M SORRY!!!"

"SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH REMUS, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING OF!"

Lupin composed himself, and sat up a little, kneeling on the ground trying to dry his eyes.

"It all started when we were solving the Weasley problem. I forgot to shave one morning, and before I knew it the moustache had come. I tried to stop it Sirius, really I did...I tried so hard but I couldn't"

Lupin grabbed the bottom of Sirius cloak, wiping his eyes frantically.

"GET THAT FILTHY THING AWAY FROM ME" Sirius roared, kicking Lupin's moustache across the room. "You will not be forgiven, you are grounded for a month. Now get to your bedroom right away and shave that thing off." Sirius was constantly pointing wildly at Lupin's facial hair as he screamed this order.

"Yes Sir." Lupin crawled away, occasionally bowing in Sirius direction. He seemed as pathetic as Peter Pettigrew crossed with Dobby. Neither Sirius nor Harry could feel pity though. The real Remus Lupin would deserve respect, but not this feeble impostor who dared to try and give such a beloved and talked about character a stupid crappy moustache. Only by shaving off the moustache and apologising many times could Lupin ever gain back the respect he had once had.

As he left, Sirius sat back down and put his sunglasses back on. Harry sat up on his desk again.

"What now?" Harry asked, a little bemused by the events of the day.

"We stay here for a while, until the author can think up some more ideas"

TO BE CONTINUED...