NOTE:: A lot of reviewers posted this question, or something similar to it about how Inuyasha doesn't know Rin isn't Kagome. I guess I forgot to clarify (and reading back, I did ^^;;) what's going on here is that the magic from Inuyasha's wish is taking effect over both their minds. Inuyasha still sees Rin as Kagome, and doesn't notice the personality changes and all. Rin is fully conscious of what she's doing, but her will has been weakened by the magic and she's being swayed towards wanting to be with Inuyasha and thinking she's Kagome. She's not in Kagome's body, and she's still Rin, but her memory is fading away ('nuther result of the magic) So in a sense, she's becoming Kagome slowly.

EEEK! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed!!! I was so surprised over the amount of reviews the last chapter got! *is all happy-like*

Well, sorry for the wait in chapter nine…I had a little bit of writer's block after I posted the last chapter ^^;; but finally I got a brainstorm and started writing…this chapter is a little longer than they usually are, and I didn't even realize that until I was done writing. Ohhhhhh wellllllll.

Because…

Chapter Nine

She passed by a field of white and golden flowers. The same color as his hair and his eyes. I should pick some for him.

After the intention formed in her head, Rin stopped. Pick them for who? Inuyasha? She tried to think about the last time she'd heard him make an appreciative comment about nature. He didn't like flowers; he trampled them without noticing while Rin mourned the broken petals on the ground.

But the flowers reminded her of something in her distant past, the memory that she struggled to grasp. It had long disappeared from her hands, a slippery, evasive being that she'd let go reluctantly. Each day she woke up, her mind felt more configured to this life and less to her old one.

The magic had taken a firm hold on her mind, but it couldn't totally erase the residue she had from before, something which annoyed her greatly.

Every day she got flashbacks from something that she was absolutely sure had never happened to her…yet it seemed like somewhere, sometime, it had.

Maybe Inuyasha will like the flowers anyways, she thought to herself, unable to shake the feeling of unease while she admired the blossoms swaying in the wind.

She knelt down and began to gather the fullest blooms into her hands.

But…that feeling. Still shackled to this feeling…she hadn't done this before, ever…but yet…she had…

Rin only had two flowers in her hand, and white one and a golden one, but she stopped.

A pain in her chest, a dull, throbbing ache as she regarded the two already wilting blooms. They look sad to be separated from their brothers and sisters…she thought.

Dropping the flowers, she turned and walked away. But she couldn't escape the pain.

The small green youkai stood on the edge of the wood, observing the bustle of the town. So far, he'd seen a whole handful of young ladies, but none of them carried Rin's scent.

It was so frustrating. Every place he went fairly dripped with her scent, but also, that of many other humans. How could these creatures stand living packed so tightly together like this?

Then again, he remembered Rin's loathing of solitude, so unlike that of her lord. When they left her alone, she did it willingly, but she always told them how glad she was when they got back.

So it would only make sense that the whole species flocked together in masses. It seemed odd that he knew this, that he was accepting it…but Rin had changed both of them.

Suddenly, a figure passed before his vision. Although clothed in strange garments he'd never seen before, her essence jumped out at him. This was definitely Rin. Something about her seemed so uncultivated compared to the other girls, but it wasn't in a bad way. There was simply something more colorful about her and everything she did, a wild, natural streak that was subtle, barely recognizable...not something one could easily pick out.

"Rin…" he ventured at the girl's back, but she still did not turn around.

"Rin!" This time his voice was shriller, more commanding, but still she ignored him. This was going to take drastic measures. Passing up her long, heavy strides was not easy to do, but finally his short legs brought him directly before her path- she had to acknowledge him now. 

Rin stopped. The expression on her face was priceless-eyes bugged out, mouth gaping open. Jaken was inwardly chuckling at her confusion.

"Rin. I am sure that you did not expect to see me here so soon, right? Don't worry, Sesshoumaru sama is nowhere nearby."

For a moment not a word came out of her mouth. What in the world was this thing? It looked like a little talking toad or something…perhaps it was a youkai…in fact, it probably was. And this "Rin" he spoke of…her name sounded vaguely familiar, but no one by that name resided here.

Finally she spoke. "I think you have the wrong person, little toad. There is no Rin in this town. You might try the town over. It's down the path, a few miles east-"

"Are you mad?" he squealed, his wide eyes opening even wider.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. People walked all around, a few glancing at the disheveled girl facing the strange looking youkai.

Rin was barely aware of anything in the town. It all seemed to blur away as the small, sharp words echoed in her mind. Are you mad? Are you mad?

She didn't know…was she mad?

She shut her eyes against all the thoughts, but they kept invading her brain. Like poison…

Was that why she kept feeling all these vague, empty pockets in her mind? Was that why she felt as if something was stored there, but she couldn't reach it? Was that why…she felt like an empty shell?

There was no use hiding it… these past few days, past few weeks in fact, had seemed so strange…something in her mind was squirming for control.

As if there was someone else down there…

"But I'm Kagome," she mumbled, arguing with her inner voice.

"What?" Opening her eyes, the small green youkai loomed before her view.

"Kagome? You mean the mate of the hanyou?"

"Mate?" She muttered vaguely. She'd heard that term once before…

"I can't remember," she finally yelled, voice tense with strings of frustration, "I can't remember!" Tears rushed up to obstruct her vision. "I don't know! I can't remember!" Was she Kagome?

"Kagome is dead," said Jaken, confused. What was wrong with Rin? Did she think she was Kagome? "Rin…?" Jaken asked, and this time, she raised her tear-filled face to meet his eyes.

"I don't know who I am…who I was…"

"Do you want me to get Sesshoumaru sama?"

Sesshou…maru….

Rin gasped abruptly as an image flicked in her head. White. Tall. Powerful. She captured it and held it in her mind, studying the golden-eyed face, and the long white hair.

Then, more images came across to her- moonlight, blood. A girl looking like her. A kiss.

They all were fragments of that something that she thought she had forgotten. 

Then it all began to speed up. She clutched her head as the images appeared progressively faster.

She saw Sesshoumaru lying bloodied against the tree. A girl offering him food. Sleeping on something fuzzy during a cold night. Picking him flowers.

And then, she was older. Her heart fluttering at the sight of him. He was telling her to leave. That girl was her.

"Kagome san?" A man appeared at her side, but she glanced at him with dull, unrecognizing eyes.

He backed away in fright. The glazed expression in her eyes frightened him. "Madness?" He whispered, "Kagome san? Are you quite all right?"

"I…" She found herself helpless. For the images in her head…

"Kagome san?" A woman approached her, voice full of concern. "Are you ill?"

Rin.

The name blanketed all the images she'd seen. It sliced through the fog of happiness and her very self.

Gods. What have I done?

She was Rin. She'd let herself forget.

"I am Rin. I am not Kagome... Rin. Rin...please call me Rin!!."

She didn't realize how she looked to the townspeople. Clutching her head, as if trying to repress all the disrupting images, tears trailing down her face, and speaking in disoriented sentences.

The whispers she heard were frightened, timid. They formed a circle around her, and when she looked up, she saw a sea of faces looming before her vision. They were ugly, these faces, accusing and staring at her as if she wasn't quite human.

Rin tried to break through the circle, but there were too many of them floating in to watch the insane girl. Their eyes, which had once welcomed her into their village and smiled happily at her in greeting were now cold and filled with animosity. But it was over something else…fear…

She did not want to give up, but her spirit was so exhausted…

Jaken was pushed out in the stampede of humans to encircle Rin. He backed away slowly, clutching his staff. He would kill them all if he could.

Though killing an entire village of stupid people like this was pleasing to him, it wasn't a very good idea.

How easily humans turned upon one another in the light of confusion or ignorance. Rin should have been born a youkai girl, for she possessed none of these foolish traits. He wondered what Sesshoumaru would say about that.

"Let's stone her! She's possessed by oni!" Someone called out, and this proposition was met with a brigade of excited voices.

"Stone her!" Someone else called out, and soon this phrase turned into a chant.

"Wait!" another yelled, "Let's lock her up for tonight, and see if she's still possessed tomorrow morning."

The humans argued amongst themselves. Of course she would still be insane the next morning, they said, let's do away with her now. But others thought that the oni would leave her body soon, so they wanted to wait.

Jaken smelled fear on them.

Someone scooped her up in his arms and carried her away. The rest of the humans followed him to a small stone hut in a parade. Rin offered little to no resistance. Her body seemed so frail and weak.

Jaken was stricken.

They were going to kill Rin, then.

 He turned and ran back to Sesshoumaru sama as fast as his small legs would carry him.

"Sesshoumaru samaaaaaaa!" Jaken's cry carried through the whole forest. Sesshoumaru waited. In a minute, he saw him scrambling over in his direction, and when he halted, he stopped, panting.

"Sess…shou…maru….Rin…they said…oni…." Words tried to force themselves through his panting, but in the end breathing won over.

Sesshoumaru simply lifted one eyebrow and waited for his minion to regain control of himself. He highly doubted the importance of anything Jaken had to say.

Finally, he began to speak, the words starting out fast and tumbling over one another. "It's Rin, my lord. She thinks she is Kagome. You know, the hanyou's wench. Her mind seems to be altered, or controlled, or something! She did not know her name at first, but appeared to have remembered.

But the humans, oh, traitorous beasts they are, believed she was being possessed by an oni! They are going to kill her tomorrow morning! Sesshoumaru sama! We must rescue her or else she will die!!"

Jaken finished up with a flourish, his eyes widening even more and voice raising to a shriek.

No reaction from Sesshoumaru, save the other eyebrow shooting up. His eyes remained as cold as ever. 

Jaken waited for him to say something, anything.

Finally, the silence became intolerable. "Aren't you going to do something? Aren't you going to order me around and run over to rescue her like you always do?" By the end of his statement, his voice was nearly pleading.

Sesshoumaru did not answer him, and when Jaken looked up, he saw his hair swinging matter-of-factly over his back as he walked away.

Jaken scurried after him, still talking. "Sesshoumaru sama, I know that girl means something to you. Please my lord… if it's not too much to ask…will you go rescue her??"

Finally Sesshoumaru turned upon him, eyes flashing. "It is not our concern," he said curtly. His voice sounded as rocky as ever.

Ignoring Jaken, he turned away and walked away from the only human who'd ever meant anything to him.

Inuyasha hadn't planned on spending the entire day out. But he'd plopped himself in the forest, idling away, waiting for a hot idea to come to him about how he should propose to "Kagome".

So far, nothing.

"Damn this shit!" He screamed, slicing the nearest tree with his claws. When it came to anything else…killing…defending himself…blowing other people off…he did it without a second thought. But now, the simplest thing was turning out to be harder than he'd ever expected.

After the shadows grew taller and the forest dimmed, he decided it was time to go home.

"Screw it," he muttered, "I'll just blurt it out and hope I don't make a total ass of myself."

He leaped towards the village at full speed, but even before he reached it, he heard shouting.

When Rin awoke, she felt ugly.

Head hurt, eyes groggily taking in her surroundings. It took her a moment to realize why her chest was hurting so.

The whole situation settled over her like a pile of dust. She was weak, then. She'd allowed herself betray Sesshoumaru sama. Her mind had been controlled.

She couldn't even remember any of the things she'd said or done while she was acting as Kagome, and the thought terrified her. This was the worst kind of fear she'd ever encountered. She could run away from palpable danger, but the horrifying void in her mind simply hovered over her, seeming to smirk triumphantly.

And she was going to die soon.

That last bit of information seeped in slowly as her brain struggled to comprehend everything at once.

The condemnation had happened before her eyes, but she found herself unable to form words, unable to protest.

After they'd tossed in into this small stone prison, she'd felt herself slipping away…

And now here she was, facing death in a matter of a few short hours. She heard them saying she'd die at dawn- provided she still was "possessed." But she could not go back to being Kagome. The thought terrified her. If she did that, she might lose herself again…and then it would all be over for real.

Rin leaned against the cold, stone wall in a feeble attempt to warm her chilled bones. The only light was coming in a small, square window near the roof. The moon's out today, she thought idly. Full moon, probably, judging by the brightness of the light.

It was a perfect beam shooting through the window, casting out the darkness of one tiny square.

Death. What a strange concept. To simply stop living. Where would she go? Would she feel anything once she was dead? Or would she simply vanish?

Gods, she didn't want to die now. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to cage in the sobs, but one escaped in a burst and echoed against the walls.

The sound of her own voice unnerved her. Soon, she wouldn't be capable of making a single noise…

See, then, said a nasty little voice in the back of her head, this is what you get for leaving Sesshoumaru sama. He would have protected you, fool.

The thought of Sesshoumaru sama forced another tear down her cheek.

How she wanted to see him again. But she probably never would. She would die, and he would go on with his life without another thought of her, ever.

She shut her eyes against everything and tried to quiet her screaming mind. So many voices spoke- panic, guilt, nausea..and love.

Suddenly, a memory spoke up. She didn't know where it had come from

"Rin, my dear. If all else fails, pray."

Who else had ever called her "my dear?" It took her a moment to realize that this was her mother speaking to her.

"Pray?" She whispered. How did one pray? And what was it? Talking? And to whom?

Her mother used to pray to Buddah. She'd ask him for health of herself and her children and think him for his blessings.

The memories of her early childhood were seeping in slowly. Her mother helping her pray- folding her little hands together, kneeling down next to her. Then she would tuck her into bed and promise her she'd never let anything happen to her.

But now she was dead, and soon, Rin would join her.

The moon winked at her tantalizingly from outside, and the whole hut was illuminated in white light. Rin crawled over to the center of the beam and knelt down on the stone floor slowly. Its asperity dug into her knees, but she barely felt the pain.

 Yes, her mother had told her to pray. She had always been so sure that this Buddha had heard her prayers. Like she was merely chatting with a close acquaintance. But Rin didn't believe in anything anymore. Everyone else had let her down too many times, and besides, if this so called Buddha did exist, he wouldn't let this happen to her, would he? There was only one person in the world who she trusted completely; she would talk to him.

 "Sesshoumaru sama?" she ventured.

"I've never done this before…so please be patient with me." Pausing, Rin struggled to keep her thoughts together. They were so scattered, so panicked, it was hard to keep them all in place.

"First of all, I'm sorry for being disloyal to you. I know that I've always followed your shamelessly without question, but I'm an adult now. I'm finally grown up, Sesshoumaru sama. I hope you're proud of the person I've become." She seemed to have totally lost herself as if Sesshoumaru was standing right next to her, listening. Her voice rose and fell with each word, growing soft and swelling with passion. In her mind, she could see him clearly- sitting next to her, perhaps even holding her, golden eyes fixated on her.

"If it's not too much to ask, Sesshoumaru sama, can you please, please come to rescue me? I know you told me to go back to a village, but you must have done it because you love me. Because it was for my own good. Right?"

Her voice was choked up with tears, but she tried to push past them with more words.

"I never told you this before, but I love you. A while ago, when you killed Kagome, I thought my love for you had died, too, even though it was an accident. But I do still love you, even after that. Maybe it's because I'm a weak, stupid human. I know that's probably what you think, anyways. But…" She could barely force the last bit out through her tiny, closed throat.

"That's how I feel, and I can't change it. But just so you know…I'll be your Rin, forever."

When she opened her eyes, the empty walls of the cave stared back at her.

And she was alone.

Sesshoumaru suddenly stopped walking, listening to the air around him sharply.

"My lord? What is it?" It took him a moment to realize his minion was addressing him.

"It is nothing," he replied indifferently. Only a moment ago, though, he could have sworn over his very life that he'd heard Rin's pleading voice in the wind. 

I have no idea when I'll be done with the next chapter O_O I wanna make it as good as possible, so I'm not gonna rush it…but at least I know where I'm heading this time, unlike before I wrote this chapter ^^;; so maybe it won't take me as long. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed this chappie! ^^ 

x~Aurora chan