Faith in the Dark, Part 4
"There's no shadow tonight. Davey is upset."
Ann spoke as she followed Declan and Peggy up the stairs. Silently they rushed down the hall to Davey's room. They found him kneeling in the center of his bed clutching a stuffed dog. Declan looked toward the wall opposite the bed. There was no shadow. Peggy looked all around the room and then sat with Davey on the bed.
"What's the matter, Davey?"
The boy looked at his mother standing by the door before he answered Peggy. "I don't think my dad is coming tonight."
"Why?" Declan now sat next to him also "Did something happen tonight?"
The boy frowned and squeezed the stuffed toy tighter. "No…I don't think so. I fell asleep...and then Dad told me …to…to…"
"What, honey?" Ann asked her son. She walked to the bed and gathered him in her arms. Her face had gone pale with worry and fear.
"He told me I can build the tree house."
Ann gasped and held Davey's face in her hands. "Who told you that?"
"Dad told me, Mom. He was in my dream…I think." Davey's face suddenly lit up with a big grin. "He said he left me all the wood and tools. Even windows! This is going to be a really cool tree house! Dad said you're saving everything in a special place, Mom. This is a great!" He broke free of his mother and crawled over to Declan. "You want to help me build it?"
Declan looked at Ann who was staring off into space. Her breathing seemed strained. Peggy slipped an arm around her shoulder.
"Let's ask your mom," Declan answered the boy.
Ann caught her breath and grasped her son's shoulders. "I never told you about the house kit, Davey. I'm sorry. You were only four when your dad died and I …couldn't bare seeing the kit in the garage. I had all of the stuff put in storage a year later. Honey, I'm glad your dream about your dad made you happy. We both miss him so much." She exhaled slowly and pulled Davey into a hug. "Did Grandma Douglas tell you about the tree house when she called last week? She would remember Daddy talking about it when you were little. What did Grandma say?"
Davey sat back from his mother. "Grandma didn't tell me about the tree house." He suddenly sighed in exasperation as though he were stating the obvious. "Daddy told me tonight. He was really happy, Mom!"
Declan placed a hand on the boy's shoulder."What else did he say, Davey?"
The boy was thoughtful for a second and then he turned to look at Declan. "He said …don't forget to put the …weather something on it. I can't remember the word."
"The weathervane. There's an American flag weathervane that sits on the top." Ann murmured to her son. She rose shakily from the bed and moved around it. Declan and Peggy stood also as she began pulling back the quilt on the bed. "Hey, big guy, it's still time for bed. If you're scared or worried, you can sleep with me."
"No, I'm not scared. I want to see Daddy again. I know he'll come back. He said he would."
"He did?" Ann asked.
"Yeah! I can't wait to build my tree house!"
Declan looked down at Davey and smiled. "If it's okay with your mom, I'll help. Get some sleep, dude. I'll catch you later, gator."
"Goodnight, Davey." Peggy said as she and Declan left the room. They left the mother and son to their bedtime ritual for the second time and headed for the living room to wait. Peggy sat on a cushioned window seat looking out into the dark front garden. Declan watched her from the sofa and wondered if she was contemplating how to help Ann and Davey through this latest revelation.
"What do you think, Peg? All these weeks and now the shadow doesn't show up. Now the dream about his dad. You think Davey's okay?"
"I don't know. Maybe Davey was creating the shadow somehow and didn't tell anyone. He's afraid his mom doesn't believe that his father is back so he made up the dream to convince her."
"What about the tree house? Davey says his grandmother did not tell him about it."
"Maybe she did. Maybe he overheard a conversation between his mom and grandmother about it. These are logical explanations and more likely than whatever you're thinking."
Declan shook his head. "I'm not ready to confirm anything. I'm not thinking that Jim Douglas is communicating with his son. Peg, relax, I'm not going to push them into believing anything right now. I'm worried about this tree house thing. Let's find out if he overheard someone talking about it."
"He didn't. I never talk about the tree house . Jim's mom and I haven't talked about it since the week Jim was killed. I called her a few minutes ago. She never told Davey about it. She said she had completely forgotten the house kit after losing Jim."
Ann informed them as she entered the room with arms folded. She looked tired and dazed.
Peggy walked over to her and motioned for the weary mother to sit on the sofa. Peggy joined her. "Ann, is there any possible way Davey would know about the tree house.?"
Ann looked at Peggy and slowly shook her head. "It's not even in the house. I couldn't even look at it and it's still hard to talk about the thing…I just don't know he could know." She looked at Declan. "I want him to have the house built. He deserves this gift from his Dad. I can see that now. I'll get it from storage. Davey has asked a lot of you, Declan. You don't have to feel pressured to help with this. I have a neighbor who's a carpenter and contractor. I know he'll help."
"I want to help build the tree house. I just want to see this through with Davey." Declan smiled at Ann. "He's a good kid."
She nodded and fought against the pain of past memories." Davey was only four when he lost his father. Jimmy was so excited about the tree house. He was going to build it in the sycamore tree at the old house." Ann smiled sadly."I told him Davey was too young to play in a tree house. He wanted to build it anyway. It was going to be a surprise so we never said a word to Davey. We planned it for his fifth birthday. The week before he died, Jim bought the kit and everything. After…I just sent the whole thing to storage. No one else knew about except Jim's mom."
She suddenly burst into tears. Peggy held her and mouthed to Declan to leave them alone for awhile. He reluctantly complied.
Peggy spent the next hour consoling and convincing Ann that Davey was fine and is just now starting to understand his loss. He wishes his Dad were alive and might be desperate to make it happen and to convince everybody that it's true. The two women talked about grief and acceptance. Peggy assured Ann that her son is going to feel better especially since he'll now have a solid monument to remember his father.
Declan and Peggy discussed the evening's events in the truck as they returned to the city. Halfway across town to Peggy's house, Declan noticed that she became quiet. He glanced at her periodically while driving. She sat very still while staring at the road ahead. Declan let his eyes trace the familiar profile of her brown face. He stole side glances of her as he pulled into her driveway. Declan wondered about the frown that creased her forehead when he stopped the truck. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Peggy realized she was in front of her house.
"Oh. I must be more tired than I thought." She said. Declan got out and circled the truck to open her door. Peggy stepped out with her key in hand. Declan stood in front of her.
"You've been in another world since we got back into town. Is everything ok?"
'Yes, I'm fine." Peggy looked up at him with a surprised smile. 'I've just been so busy at work lately and I guess it's catching up to me."
Declan felt a shiver travel up his back.. :: She doesn't look tired, he thought, she looks worried. :: He placed a hand on her arm. "Hey, it's me, Declan, your friend, right? I sorta know you a little and I know when something's wrong with you."
Peggy sighed. She looked away from the warmth of his eyes with difficulty. ::As long as I don't look directly into his eyes I'll be alright, she thought.::
"Lighten up, Declan. It's not something terrible." She smiled. " Elliott asked me to go to Seattle with him next weekend." Peggy laughed suddenly. "It's just so weird. I really do like him and I think…I'm not sure I'm ready to travel with him." She was frowning and thoughtful again. "He's the keynote speaker at a foreign policy caucus in Seattle. There's a big formal dinner, some theater tickets for guests, and basically a fantastic weekend that no sane person would pass up…but I'm not sure I'm …"
"Don't go then. Tell him you don't want to go away with him." Declan interrupted her. "You've only been out with this guy a few times. I'm sure he'll understand why you'd turn him down."
"I'm okay with turning him down. I think he expects me to say no." She was looking at him again and feeling safe enough to allow his concern to comfort her. "I've been thinking about my relationship with Elliott and… other things. Talking to Ann tonight…I started remembering…the depth of a loss like that."
Declan inhaled and let the air out in a sigh. "I'm sorry, Peg. I didn't even think…"
"Oh, I'm okay. I've counseled many patients through grief since my husband died." Peggy felt his hand slide up her arm to grip her shoulder. He pulled her into a brief hug and then let her go. She stepped back, slightly, putting extra distance between them.
Declan contemplated putting his truck in gear and jumping in front of it. His spontaneous physical contact was never an issue before. However, since his past relationship with Emma Sheppard, his friendship with Peggy had changed. Sometimes they were "okay" without any strained camaraderie. But other times, he felt awkward around her and. unable to understand why.
"You know, I'm not a shrink like you but I've been known to have a sympathetic ear and occasionally throw out some good vibes." Declan was smiling, "You can talk to me about some of those memories. Especially if I put you in the middle of something like this…this situation with Ann Douglas."
Peggy returned his smile. "I'll remember that. I'm fine, though." She started walking slowly backward toward her house still looking at Declan. "Thanks. Call you tomorrow." Then she rushed to open her door, went inside, and quietly closed the door.
Declan stood in front of her house for a few minutes staring at her front door. He was beginning to see that the problem with their friendship was not going to be an easy fix. Tonight, he allowed himself the luxury of touching her and, after months of barely making eye contact, he enjoyed her eyes seeking and hiding from his gaze.
When he finally pulled his truck from the curb and headed home, Peggy abandoned her perch on the windowsill of a front bedroom. Her eyes had followed the truck down the street. She turned away from the window thinking about Declan's hug.
"There's no shadow tonight. Davey is upset."
Ann spoke as she followed Declan and Peggy up the stairs. Silently they rushed down the hall to Davey's room. They found him kneeling in the center of his bed clutching a stuffed dog. Declan looked toward the wall opposite the bed. There was no shadow. Peggy looked all around the room and then sat with Davey on the bed.
"What's the matter, Davey?"
The boy looked at his mother standing by the door before he answered Peggy. "I don't think my dad is coming tonight."
"Why?" Declan now sat next to him also "Did something happen tonight?"
The boy frowned and squeezed the stuffed toy tighter. "No…I don't think so. I fell asleep...and then Dad told me …to…to…"
"What, honey?" Ann asked her son. She walked to the bed and gathered him in her arms. Her face had gone pale with worry and fear.
"He told me I can build the tree house."
Ann gasped and held Davey's face in her hands. "Who told you that?"
"Dad told me, Mom. He was in my dream…I think." Davey's face suddenly lit up with a big grin. "He said he left me all the wood and tools. Even windows! This is going to be a really cool tree house! Dad said you're saving everything in a special place, Mom. This is a great!" He broke free of his mother and crawled over to Declan. "You want to help me build it?"
Declan looked at Ann who was staring off into space. Her breathing seemed strained. Peggy slipped an arm around her shoulder.
"Let's ask your mom," Declan answered the boy.
Ann caught her breath and grasped her son's shoulders. "I never told you about the house kit, Davey. I'm sorry. You were only four when your dad died and I …couldn't bare seeing the kit in the garage. I had all of the stuff put in storage a year later. Honey, I'm glad your dream about your dad made you happy. We both miss him so much." She exhaled slowly and pulled Davey into a hug. "Did Grandma Douglas tell you about the tree house when she called last week? She would remember Daddy talking about it when you were little. What did Grandma say?"
Davey sat back from his mother. "Grandma didn't tell me about the tree house." He suddenly sighed in exasperation as though he were stating the obvious. "Daddy told me tonight. He was really happy, Mom!"
Declan placed a hand on the boy's shoulder."What else did he say, Davey?"
The boy was thoughtful for a second and then he turned to look at Declan. "He said …don't forget to put the …weather something on it. I can't remember the word."
"The weathervane. There's an American flag weathervane that sits on the top." Ann murmured to her son. She rose shakily from the bed and moved around it. Declan and Peggy stood also as she began pulling back the quilt on the bed. "Hey, big guy, it's still time for bed. If you're scared or worried, you can sleep with me."
"No, I'm not scared. I want to see Daddy again. I know he'll come back. He said he would."
"He did?" Ann asked.
"Yeah! I can't wait to build my tree house!"
Declan looked down at Davey and smiled. "If it's okay with your mom, I'll help. Get some sleep, dude. I'll catch you later, gator."
"Goodnight, Davey." Peggy said as she and Declan left the room. They left the mother and son to their bedtime ritual for the second time and headed for the living room to wait. Peggy sat on a cushioned window seat looking out into the dark front garden. Declan watched her from the sofa and wondered if she was contemplating how to help Ann and Davey through this latest revelation.
"What do you think, Peg? All these weeks and now the shadow doesn't show up. Now the dream about his dad. You think Davey's okay?"
"I don't know. Maybe Davey was creating the shadow somehow and didn't tell anyone. He's afraid his mom doesn't believe that his father is back so he made up the dream to convince her."
"What about the tree house? Davey says his grandmother did not tell him about it."
"Maybe she did. Maybe he overheard a conversation between his mom and grandmother about it. These are logical explanations and more likely than whatever you're thinking."
Declan shook his head. "I'm not ready to confirm anything. I'm not thinking that Jim Douglas is communicating with his son. Peg, relax, I'm not going to push them into believing anything right now. I'm worried about this tree house thing. Let's find out if he overheard someone talking about it."
"He didn't. I never talk about the tree house . Jim's mom and I haven't talked about it since the week Jim was killed. I called her a few minutes ago. She never told Davey about it. She said she had completely forgotten the house kit after losing Jim."
Ann informed them as she entered the room with arms folded. She looked tired and dazed.
Peggy walked over to her and motioned for the weary mother to sit on the sofa. Peggy joined her. "Ann, is there any possible way Davey would know about the tree house.?"
Ann looked at Peggy and slowly shook her head. "It's not even in the house. I couldn't even look at it and it's still hard to talk about the thing…I just don't know he could know." She looked at Declan. "I want him to have the house built. He deserves this gift from his Dad. I can see that now. I'll get it from storage. Davey has asked a lot of you, Declan. You don't have to feel pressured to help with this. I have a neighbor who's a carpenter and contractor. I know he'll help."
"I want to help build the tree house. I just want to see this through with Davey." Declan smiled at Ann. "He's a good kid."
She nodded and fought against the pain of past memories." Davey was only four when he lost his father. Jimmy was so excited about the tree house. He was going to build it in the sycamore tree at the old house." Ann smiled sadly."I told him Davey was too young to play in a tree house. He wanted to build it anyway. It was going to be a surprise so we never said a word to Davey. We planned it for his fifth birthday. The week before he died, Jim bought the kit and everything. After…I just sent the whole thing to storage. No one else knew about except Jim's mom."
She suddenly burst into tears. Peggy held her and mouthed to Declan to leave them alone for awhile. He reluctantly complied.
Peggy spent the next hour consoling and convincing Ann that Davey was fine and is just now starting to understand his loss. He wishes his Dad were alive and might be desperate to make it happen and to convince everybody that it's true. The two women talked about grief and acceptance. Peggy assured Ann that her son is going to feel better especially since he'll now have a solid monument to remember his father.
Declan and Peggy discussed the evening's events in the truck as they returned to the city. Halfway across town to Peggy's house, Declan noticed that she became quiet. He glanced at her periodically while driving. She sat very still while staring at the road ahead. Declan let his eyes trace the familiar profile of her brown face. He stole side glances of her as he pulled into her driveway. Declan wondered about the frown that creased her forehead when he stopped the truck. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Peggy realized she was in front of her house.
"Oh. I must be more tired than I thought." She said. Declan got out and circled the truck to open her door. Peggy stepped out with her key in hand. Declan stood in front of her.
"You've been in another world since we got back into town. Is everything ok?"
'Yes, I'm fine." Peggy looked up at him with a surprised smile. 'I've just been so busy at work lately and I guess it's catching up to me."
Declan felt a shiver travel up his back.. :: She doesn't look tired, he thought, she looks worried. :: He placed a hand on her arm. "Hey, it's me, Declan, your friend, right? I sorta know you a little and I know when something's wrong with you."
Peggy sighed. She looked away from the warmth of his eyes with difficulty. ::As long as I don't look directly into his eyes I'll be alright, she thought.::
"Lighten up, Declan. It's not something terrible." She smiled. " Elliott asked me to go to Seattle with him next weekend." Peggy laughed suddenly. "It's just so weird. I really do like him and I think…I'm not sure I'm ready to travel with him." She was frowning and thoughtful again. "He's the keynote speaker at a foreign policy caucus in Seattle. There's a big formal dinner, some theater tickets for guests, and basically a fantastic weekend that no sane person would pass up…but I'm not sure I'm …"
"Don't go then. Tell him you don't want to go away with him." Declan interrupted her. "You've only been out with this guy a few times. I'm sure he'll understand why you'd turn him down."
"I'm okay with turning him down. I think he expects me to say no." She was looking at him again and feeling safe enough to allow his concern to comfort her. "I've been thinking about my relationship with Elliott and… other things. Talking to Ann tonight…I started remembering…the depth of a loss like that."
Declan inhaled and let the air out in a sigh. "I'm sorry, Peg. I didn't even think…"
"Oh, I'm okay. I've counseled many patients through grief since my husband died." Peggy felt his hand slide up her arm to grip her shoulder. He pulled her into a brief hug and then let her go. She stepped back, slightly, putting extra distance between them.
Declan contemplated putting his truck in gear and jumping in front of it. His spontaneous physical contact was never an issue before. However, since his past relationship with Emma Sheppard, his friendship with Peggy had changed. Sometimes they were "okay" without any strained camaraderie. But other times, he felt awkward around her and. unable to understand why.
"You know, I'm not a shrink like you but I've been known to have a sympathetic ear and occasionally throw out some good vibes." Declan was smiling, "You can talk to me about some of those memories. Especially if I put you in the middle of something like this…this situation with Ann Douglas."
Peggy returned his smile. "I'll remember that. I'm fine, though." She started walking slowly backward toward her house still looking at Declan. "Thanks. Call you tomorrow." Then she rushed to open her door, went inside, and quietly closed the door.
Declan stood in front of her house for a few minutes staring at her front door. He was beginning to see that the problem with their friendship was not going to be an easy fix. Tonight, he allowed himself the luxury of touching her and, after months of barely making eye contact, he enjoyed her eyes seeking and hiding from his gaze.
When he finally pulled his truck from the curb and headed home, Peggy abandoned her perch on the windowsill of a front bedroom. Her eyes had followed the truck down the street. She turned away from the window thinking about Declan's hug.
