Disclaimer: LotR does not belong to me, nor does ought else having to do with Middle-earth. It's J. R. R. Tolkien's.
A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. I've completed several other chapters, so I will be posting those shortly.
Chapter 31
LOVE, AND UNDERSTANDING
"What is it, Apryl?" Pippin wanted to know. The halls were dark and chill, lit only by the occasional candle. But Apryl, her head lowered, did not answer. "Something's not right. You know something's not right. Frodo wasn't suppose to leave, was he? Apryl?" Pippin grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to halt. "Apryl, answer me. This isn't how it's suppose to be, is it?"
Apryl looked up at Pippin then, her eyes slowly finding his and there she looked within his grayish-green orbs as though she searched for something. "Not like this," she said finally, softly. "It's all wrong, Pip, but . . ." her eyes narrowed, "How do you . . . you've never read . . ." She shook her head, clearing her thoughts.
"I have to think," she said. "Glorfindel and Morgainne were never meant to go with the Nine. It's starting to happen already . . ." she broke off and turned away, continued to walk down the dark hallway. Pippin watched her for a moment, then followed after.
"What's starting to happen, Apryl?" he called.
Apryl did not respond.
"I don't understand!"
She turned and looked at him. The fear was clear in her eyes and Pippin did not mistake it.
"I do," she told him, "I understand all too well."
"Then won't you explain it to me?"
She shook her head. "I can't, not now . . . perhaps not ever," she added softly. Then, drawing herself up, she took a deep breath. "Come, Pippin, we are going after Frodo."
Pippin stopped short, stared at her incredulously. "Beg pardon?"
"We must. We--Oh, Pip, you're just going to have to trust me. I cannot explain it to you but if we do not follow then we may be in more trouble than even Gandalf thought." She turned and Pippin followed.
"How do you plan to do this?" he wanted to know. "Do you even know where they are going?"
"Yes."
"Do you know how to get there?"
The reply was longer in coming this time.
"Yes."
"You really mean to do this?"
Apryl stopped, forcing Pippin to stop, and looked at him. "Don't you?" she asked. "You and Merry meant to go with Frodo, didn't you, to wherever this silly quest might take him?"
Pippin nodded, "Of course."
"Well, Frodo's finally managed to slip through your fingers, whether he did it reluctantly or not. I do not mean for him to do this alone . . ." she looked at him, "and I know you don't either. You or Merry," she said, and Pippin wasn't certain but it seemed that she glared at him.
He looked away.
"Will you do this with me?" she asked kindly and slowly he caught her gaze again. He nodded firmly.
"Yes."
"Good," she smiled. "I shall get some things and--"
Pippin stopped her. "I know," he said.
She smiled at him. "Then I shall meet you . . . ?"
"The Hall."
Apryl looked hesitant. "What if there are Elves there?"
Pippin shook his head. "There won't be."
"How do you know?"
"Haven't you noticed?" Pippin asked. "Aside to sleep, the elves are never indoors at night."
"No," Apryl murmured, "I hadn't." But she suddenly knew why. The stars. "The Hall, then," Apryl agreed. "Half-hour." Pippin nodded and they both parted, Apryl to find her room and Pippin to find a certain hobbit who he had wounded--a poisoned dart close to the heart.
Pippin found Merry upon the lawn beyond the first rise leading from the House. He had spied him from the balcony leading off his bedroom and had come to him not five minutes later. Once upon his cousin however, he was hesitant, uncomfortable, and not at all certain how to approach him. Apologizing had always been a difficult thing for Pippin.
"You needn't have such a sharp tongue," Merry said without turning around, causing Pippin to start and wonder at his cousin's ability to hear him draw near. Reluctantly, Pippin joined Merry upon the grass.
"Nor such a hot head," he tried meekly. He followed Merry's example and peered up at the glittering stars above.
"Nay," Merry agreed softly, "Nor one of those." The hobbit's chest heaved and he looked over at his younger cousin. "You must understand, Pip, that I did not know what else to do. Cousin Frodo stood before that council of Elves and Men and Dwarves and took it upon himself to destroy Lord Sauron's ring."
Pippin shuddered. The One.
"You were unwell and I could not bring myself to leave you when Frodo had Sam. And you know Sam. Nothing will happen to Cousin Frodo if Sam has a say in the matter. Besides, Frodo is not alone, Pippin. Gandalf is with him, and Strider. They'll look after him. Better than we ever could."
Pippin shook his head. "Yes, Merry, but Frodo is out there," he pointed beyond the trees and rolling hills, perhaps even beyond the mountains--Merry wasn't sure. "He is alone. Poor Sam is all he has. He is among the Big Folk, Merry, and though they are strong and brave they are not hobbits. They are not family, nor friends, nor do they love him like you and I." Pippin sighed and ran his fingers through his curls. "Big Folk will sure aid Cousin Frodo and I have not the slightest doubt that they would do Frodo better good against orcs and those Black Riders then we ever would, but--but I do not think protection is all our dear Frodo needs on this quest. He needs love, and understanding. We can give him that, Merry, you and I."
Merry was silent. "Yes," he spoke finally, "we could have. Perhaps in a different time when you did not fall ill and I did not choose to remain with you. But I cannot change the past, Pip, and I am sorry for it!" He turned to his cousin, looked at Pippin desperately, angrily. "I am sorry Cousin Frodo is burdened and I chose not to aid him and I am sorry that you are angry at me for it! I am sorry, all right? That is what you wanted to hear. Now, let me be, Pip. Go, now, let me be!" Tears rolled down his cheeks and Merry was more than angry at himself for allowing this weakness to show, especially with his younger cousin near. It was the first time Merry had cried in front of Pip and he swore on the Shire it would be the last.
He got to his feet so fast that he almost ended back on the ground. Wildly catching himself, he stumbled down the hill.
"Merry, wait!" he heard, but he did not stop. "You misunderstand me, Cousin," Pippin called and Merry knew his cousin followed. He would not escape Pippin, this he knew. Running his sleeve across his eyes, Meriadoc turned to face Peregrin who was running down the hill with much the same grace Merry had. Reaching his cousin, Pippin grasped Merry by the hand.
The hobbit jerked his hand away. "Merry, would you listen to me," Pippin demanded, frustrated. "I am not angry with you. I understand what you did and I am sorry that I was upset with you earlier. But I still hold true to what I said--Cousin Frodo should not be alone. We've decided, Apryl and I, that we are going after him," he smiled then, such a grin that Pippin often shared to those lucky enough to be near, "and you are coming with us."
She had nothing. A pocketful of junk, that was about it. But it's my pocketful of junk, she decided, and it's all I have left of Earth. The objects lay scattered upon the bed where she had left them, her coat and clothing near. She scooped the discarded items into her hands and dumped them unceremoniously into her pocket.
Apryl grinned. Pippin's pocket.
That done, and with ought else she had (and with a last mournful glance at her jacket), Apryl departed from her room and made to find the Hall. She had made the journey several times but Apryl had a horrible sense of direction and knew at once she was in trouble.
Do I go left here, or right? Where did this fork come from? I remember no fork. Do I turn here or continue on straight? Apryl gave a ragged sigh of frustration. Nothing looked familiar!
Apryl, you idiot, you should have gone with Pippin! But she knew she couldn't have, for the two were at odds and needed their time. Besides, Apryl did not want to have to hike hundreds of miles with those two at each other's throats. She'd never read about either them fighting with each other and she didn't want to experience it first-hand. It scared her, to be honest.
Apryl came upon another fork. However, this time she had a flash of recognition and smiled in delight. I remember now! Turning to the left, she followed the darkened hallway for several yards, passing doorways to either side and stopping at each doorframe to peer within, fearful one of the elves might spy her and demand to know why she was about. However, all were unlighted and unoccupied, empty, deserted and altogether dark. Apryl passed them by quickly, until she came to the last one and was startled to find a candle burning away at the shadows.
Apryl peered around the corner, certain an angry elf would be glaring down at her, but found there was none within. A single candle glowed upon a desk in the center of the room and Apryl wondered at this.
Someone must be close, she decided and was just about to hurry on when something caught her eye.
It--it couldn't be . . . It most certainly looked to be what she thought it to be. But how did it end up here? In Middle-earth at Rivendell? Her curiosity got the better of her, like it often did, and Apryl found her feet taking her within. She reached the desk in no time, with hardly a sound made and she saw that it was indeed The Lord of the Rings. Not only that, but it was her The Lord of the Rings, the one she kept upon her desk at home. She could tell by the frayed edges and crippled spine, not to mention the hundreds of leaflets within the novel with her handwriting scrawled upon them.
She picked it up. How . . . ? But then:
"Do you know how to get there?" Pippin's words came back to her, followed by her hesitant, "Yes."
Apryl flipped open to the back of the book, located the maps and . . .
They are rough, she knew, probably impossible to follow . . . but they are better than nothing. I do not wish to travel blindly. This should aid us somewhat.
Is it worth the risk, though? Apryl knew what could happen if it got into the wrong hands--Sauron's, Saruman's. But then, she also knew what could happen if it got into foolish hands. The elves are not fools, I know, but do I trust them with the world? Do I trust myself?
She peered down at the book, heavy, burdensome, not unlike the Ring.
It would be safe here in Rivendell, far from enemy hands. But the elves . . . why do they have it? And why is it here, in the open, upon a lighted desk?
It could aid us.
It is not worth the risk.
I cannot leave it behind.
Not letting her mind take it any further, Apryl slipped the book beneath her arm and hurried from the room.
Apryl found the Hall with little trouble after that, but she was almost certain that a half-hour was well over when she arrived. Merry and Pippin were already there and either of them wore their cloaks and their packs. Merry was squatted on the floor near the fire, warming his hands in its dying flame, his hood cast over his head. Pippin was near, pacing the floor, looking up from time to time and mumbling beneath his breath.
He spied her as she entered, sighed in relief and was running over to her before she had taken two steps. "There you are," he hissed in the dark, and Merry looked up. Seeing her, a smile came to his eyes, and he joined them near the entrance. "We were afraid you'd changed your mind."
"What's that?" Merry asked, spying the book beneath her arm.
"It has a map in the back," she said uncomfortably. "I thought it would help. It's rough and I'm not certain how accurate but--"
Merry nodded. "Better than nothing."
"Yes," she nodded, "That's what I thought."
"Are we ready, then?" Pippin asked.
"I haven't got anything," Apryl said in shame. "I didn't know where to find any food, nor do I have a pack or cloak. I didn't--" Merry was smiling at her. Pippin looked very smug. "What?" she demanded.
Merry went over to one of the chairs and lifted from its dark depths a pack and a small dark bundle. "We figured as much," he told her. "Pippin snuck into Bilbo's room and found he still had his old pack. It's worn," he said apologetically, handing it to her. "But it should do rather well."
"I also found you a cloak," Pippin said. "It was in a chest at the foot of Bilbo's bed." He took the bundle from Merry and helped Apryl slip it on.
Strapping the pack on so that it was secure, the three looked at one another.
"Well?" Apryl said finally. "Are we ready?"
Merry nodded.
"I don't suppose this is going to be a typical jolly outing?" Pippin asked with little hope.
"I shouldn't think so," Merry said softly. Apryl watched them both.
"I rather miss them," Pippin commented.
Merry nodded but said nothing.
"Well," Pip sighed, "I suppose we'd best leave before we're spotted."
"I feel rather awful," Merry murmured, as they filed from the House.
Pippin nodded. "Like when we snuck out to pinch mushrooms. Perhaps we ought tell them . . ."
Apryl shook her head but in the dark none saw.
"I mean," Pippin continued. "It's not like they could force us to stay."
They could if they knew what we meant to do, Apryl thought, glancing over her shoulder at the sleeping House. Perhaps what we're doing is wrong but I don't think I can take the risk. If Merry and Pippin are not reunited with the Fellowship, who knows what may come of it.
"Let us hurry on," Apryl said softly. "The less they know the better," and the trees bent to hide their escape, knowing better than ought else what would happen should these little ones fail in finding the Nine.
*****
