Those You Love

New Morning, New Beginning

by Celebrian

It was another night of un-restful sleep for Lutheriel. By the time she made if back to her flet her eyes were already red and puffy from crying all the way back from the river. It felt that she had no more tears to cry but yet they still came. She tossed herself down onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow until the morning light shone though the window.

The warm sunlight lit her face up, but Lutheriel just wanted darkness to come again. Her head was pounding from crying so much, she wished she could just stop thinking, but she couldn't. Her thoughts kept replaying the events of the previous night. How she and Haldir told each other that they loved one another, their shared kiss, their cuddling, and then his proposal to her.

That's where it went all downhill.

"It's too soon for this...I hardly know him. I love him, but it is too soon to get married. What would my father say? What would Legolas say?" She thought as she pulled herself off the bed and staggered over to the mirror. She picked up a brush a raked it through her tangled mess of brown hair. Haldir's voice kept ringing in her ears....

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"Would you take me for your husband, Lady Lutheriel?" Haldir asked softly as he gazed at her with tender eyes.

Lutheriel's mouth gaped open. "He's asking me to marry him?" She thought. It was a shock, never in all her life did she expect to hear those words... "I-I" What was she to say? "Haldir...I don't think I can rush it to this right away..."

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Lutheriel set her brush down and looked at herself in the mirror. "I'm so young yet...I hoped to see the world...to travel...I love Haldir...but I'm not ready to settle down yet...Can't he just understand that?" She thought as she tied her hair back. "I wish I never fell in love with him in the first place...Legolas was right, Haldir broke my heart..."

Suddenly she stopped her thoughts and watched as her eyes grew big in the mirror. She had realized something. Something that she didn't think about until now. Slowly she brought her hand up to her mouth to cover it, tears welling up in her eyes. "What if I have hurt him....He said that he had never experienced love before and how he thought it was foolish. Then he falls in love and asks me to marry him and I..I turn him down."

It was true. Haldir had said that he didn't believe in love but then finally got up enough courage to tell her that he actually did love her and she turned him away. "I have hurt him...." She thought sadly, wiping her tears away.

She felt horrible.

She was so upset with herself. "I was so inconsiderate and so greedy...thinking of nothing but myself, not even thinking of how he felt. He must feel horrible and foolish..." She could barely think straight all these new thoughts were flooding into her mind and each one made her feel worse and worse about what she did to him.

Another revelation came to her.

"And why did I say no? I love him, he is my eldar. He is the one I am supposed to be with. I know he was; from the first moment I looked at him I knew it. Why am I denying him?" Again her thoughts went back to that night....

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"You don't get it do you?" Lutheriel said, her voice becoming slightly agitated. "Maybe I don't want to get married right now, maybe I want to travel Middle-earth and learn before I settle down. I do love you but I am not ready for marriage."

"I was a fool to believe all of this...I curse myself." Haldir said as his upper lip curled up slightly. He rose to his feet. "I take back everything I had said to you. I do not want to marry you and I do not love you. Even if you are my eldar...I refuse you."

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Lutheriel shook her head. "What was I thinking? I will never be able to travel Middle-earth and learn. Even if I could, I would be so scared too. It was nothing more than a mere dream. And here reality is....Haldir asked me to be his wife...and I said no. I said no to a wonderful, strong, gorgeous Elf, who is the March Warden of Lothlorien. Who I know in my heart would love me, take care of me, and protect me like no one else. He wants to share his life with me....He did want to share his life with me..." She closed her eyes. "Oh Haldir....I'm so sorry I hurt you...I do love you...I do want to marry you..."

Her eyes opened and looked away from her mirror to outside her window.

A new morning.

Her mother always said that new mornings always brought new beginnings. Could today be a fresh start for her and Haldir? Would he take her back or would he turn her away? If he did turn her away, she would understand why. "I don't even know if I would take back a lover who was so cruel to my feelings. So if he does, he has a right too. I will not cry and beg to have him take me back, I will bow my head like a lady and return to my flet." She thought to herself as she slowly began to put her boots back on. Part of her wanted to stay in her flet and wait until it was time to return to Mirkwood but the other half of her told her body to go to Haldir and speak with him.

Lutheriel took a deep breath as she turned the doorknob and headed out. She looked up at the sky.

New mornings meant new beginnings....so she hoped.

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I know this chapter was a bit short but the next one will be a bit longer :D

Thank you to all those that have been reading and reviewing. I hope you like where this story is going. It's not over yet...not even close ;)