III. Life Without Pie

Sometimes, Catherine found it incredibly difficult to function from day to day. She had lost count of the many times she wished that she was a really cool PTA mom, with a business savvy husband that loved her, and a nice big house filled to the brim with children whom she would love and adore. She could dream, couldn't she?

Catherine looked at her ever-aging appearance in the mirror. She admitted that she was still attractive and could be the man magnet that she always was. Only this time, she wouldn't go down the same path she went with Eddie. Everything would be different this time. Everything she did would be for Lindsay.

She studied herself in her bikini. It was loud, but it worked for her. Her figure hadn't been compromised over the years as most mothers' figures are after giving birth to children. The reason she stayed so thin was because one, she danced and it required that she have a good figure, two, for Eddie to keep up her strength in a good fight, and three, just because. Now that Eddie was gone, she could've eaten to her heart's content and blown up like a balloon, but for some reason, she stayed thin. Not by personal choice, but because she wanted to impress somebody. At work, she didn't know who'd she impress. Greg was certainly impressed, but Nick, Warrick, and Grissom…she wasn't sure. Grissom was just a friend. He helped her through the tough times with Eddie. With Nick and Warrick, it was first impression shock. For them it was probably like a crush on a girl's provocative PTA mom in elementary school. It was funny to think about actually.

It was strange though. With three men that she worked with excluded, who was giving her roses in her locker? She figured it might be Greg and filed away in the back of her mind to thank him and give him a peck on the cheek. He could be incredibly romantic, no matter how unstable and neurotic he was sometimes.

Either the roses were in her locker, or they were on the bench in front of it.

Lindsay was all excited about going to the country club. She rambled on and on in her swim suit about how she'd never been around rich people before. Catherine smiled at her enthused daughter. She liked Sara, which was surprising. Catherine had never really made amends with Sara and things had always been awkward between them. She knew that Sara was wondering why all of a sudden she would want to go anywhere with her. Nick was probably trying to rationalize, which he was terrible at doing. That was one thing about him that always annoyed Sara. His inability to rationalize and think he's right. It worked to her advantage because now that Catherine thought about it, Sara had been walking in with large amounts of cash lately. She was still shocked to know that she and Nick were together. They hid their relationship very well and kept lovers' quarrels out of the lab.

"You look pretty mommy," Lindsay said whilst jumping on Catherine's bed.

The comment almost made her want to cry. After a long time, Lindsay still thought her mommy was pretty. Catherine was pleased to know that her daughter still loved her and thought she was beautiful. Catherine smiled wider and picked up her little girl.

"Are you ready?" She asked Lindsay.

"Yeah!"

***

It would figure that Sara was late. Catherine knew the reason for her tardiness. Sara needed sexual release. Now that she was together with Nick, she had been a much better person. Her whole demeanor changed from a depressed deprived woman to a happy, perky, meat-eating CSI. Nick didn't put up with Sara's crap as Warrick and Grissom did. Nick wouldn't have it. Catherine thought she over heard a little argument about her being a vegetarian.

"I'm not going to change the entire menu to accommodate your dietary needs," Nick said firmly, yet sweetly. "You're gonna have to eat what I buy and like it. You will, I promise."

Sara gave him her famous death stare which seemed unique only to those whose last name was Sidle.

"Hi Cath," Sara said coming into Catherine's home. "Sorry I'm late."

"That's okay," Catherine said.

"Sara!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"Hey Lindsay," Sara said smiling. Sara was not good with kids, but she was fine around Lindsay. "Ready to go have a good time?"

"Yeah," Lindsay said smiling brightly. "Mommy told me that there were rich people there."

"Yes there are," Sara said. "And they will love you when you meet them."

Catherine liked the interaction between Sara and Lindsay. Catherine found herself already blessing Sara to have children of her own.

They got in Sara's car, which was a new white Volkswagon Beetle. The drive was quiet.

It only took thirty minutes to get to the country club. Summerlin's Country Club.

"Okay Sara," Catherine started. "I have to ask: how did you even get a membership?"

Sara smiled coyly and answered, "I have my ways."

Sara really did have a social life; and she also happened to be a socialite, apparently, because people that walked by knew her and were friendly.

"C'mon, I want you to meet some friends of mine," Sara said taking Catherine and Lindsay's hands.

They walked into the registration office.

"Hey Jose," Sara said jovially even for her. "I've got two guests today. Where's Joanne and Steve?"

Jose chuckled lightly. "In their usual spot in the sauna doing…you know, senorita," he explained in a subtle enough way to confuse Lindsay.

"Are you serious?" Sara asked in surprise. "That is truly strange. Anyway, tell them I'm here and that I want them to meet my friend and her daughter. This is Catherine Willows and her daughter Lindsay."

"Nice to meet you," Jose said politely. "Any friend of Senorita Sidle is a friend of mine."

Catherine smiled at the man's politeness. Sara had made a complete change from her rough blunt personality to this soft, gentle, kind everyday woman. Catherine liked the change. It made Sara a better person. Sara was still the same, yet different. At work she would handle a case the same way she used to, but she was different around her other coworkers, which was nice.

Catherine felt awkward standing in her bikini with a sheer skirt on top of that. Sara's suit was a one piece, but it was strapless. It looked like a hand-me-down, actually. It was blue and white striped and had a 60s look to it. Catherine figured it was Sara's mom's suit. She had on a white hat that covered her brown hair, which was up in a tight bun. She noticed that Sara had put on a few pounds. Her midsection and her butt were bigger than usual.

It's the meat, Catherine thought. Sara looked healthier, though.

"Sara!" Joanne called.

"Hey," Sara said smiling. "I brought some friends of mine with me today. This is Catherine Willows and her daughter Lindsay. Catherine, Lindsay, Steve and Joanne."

"Hi, nice meeting you," Catherine said cordially. "What do I need to pay for? I'm new here."

"Oh, it's okay. I'll just use my membership to get you and you daughter in," Steve offered.

"Thanks," Catherine said.

Lindsay played in the pool after eating a gourmet turkey sandwich. Sara and Catherine were still working on their lunches. Sara had ordered the baked duck, a greasy meal that made Catherine cringe in disgust. Catherine ordered a steak with a baked potato. They were out on the patio enjoying their meals.

Catherine found herself going over her list whilst looking around at all of the men in the place. She wasn't gold digging, she just thought that she would find fairly decent men who had already established careers. Some of the men were too old, and some too young. She was looking for a man nearing forty or already there. Some guys passed her and checked her out a few times, but she was mostly scouting.

"What are you thinking about?" Sara asked. "It's not like you to be so quiet."

"Uh, nothing, I'm just…was I a bad wife? I mean, to Eddie?" Catherine asked her.

Sara looked at her in confusion. "Why? I mean, I wouldn't be able to tell you because I wasn't around. Maybe you should ask the guys."

"Would I be a good wife?" Catherine asked.

Sara leaned back in her seat, looking at Catherine strangely, pondering the question. Sara was wondering where the conversation was going.

"Well, to be honest with you," Sara started. "I don't believe in "good wife", "bad wife". My mother was a "good wife" and she never realized how beautiful she was without bruises."

Catherine caught what Sara was trying to say. It was hard. Women did what they had to do. It was simply in their nature.

"Well, humor me," Catherine said.

"You would be a wonderful wife," Sara said. "Because you won't put up with anyone's crap. You stood against him, Cath. You have to stop beating yourself up about letting him beat you. You did what you had to. And you did it for Lindsay's sake."

Life was not easy without someone to help along the way. This was Catherine's life without pie. There was no gooey sweetness to her life. She had to work so hard just to get a piece of what she wanted, while some people got it without breaking a sweat. She felt so much like Sara did. Alone, deprived, scraped of any emotions she had left in the abyss of her soul. Sara found someone, though, and loved him deeply. Catherine needed to feel that love again.

She couldn't ignore the tidbit of Sara's past.

"Did your father abuse you?" Catherine dared to ask.

"He never touched me, or my younger brother," she said in a hard tone. "I told him I'd kill him if he did. But he sure did beat the hell out of my mother. She has scars to this day. The only reason why they don't fight now is because they're too tired to fight. When I was sixteen, I moved to Frisco to live with my boyfriend swearing I would never let a man touch me unless I wanted him to. Two months later, I was out on my own working and going to school because my boyfriend tried to rape me."

Sara crossed her arms and turned to look out at the pool. Two women with one thing in common. Catherine never knew. That was why Sara was so hesitant about men. She had been through it as well. She was not one to put up with men. Nick was her lifesaver. She was getting ready to break down and he helped her through everything she went through. Nick was the one man Sara truly trusted. Although it took poor Nick three years to finally get the stubborn woman.

Catherine found a new respect for Sara. She finally understood the younger woman. Catherine realized that she wasn't the only one who was beaten by her relatives. Other women like Sara and herself were out there. She wasn't the only one without pie.

Nick surprised Sara. "Hey beautiful," he said.

"Hey," she said, her face lighting up.

He gave her a peck on the cheek then sat down next to her putting his arm protectively around her shoulders.

"Hey Cath," Nick said smiling.

"Hey Nick," she said smiling back.

Sara and Nick had that "Sara and Nick" look.

"Okay you guys, what's going on?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing," Sara said. "Why do you think that something's going on every time me and Nick are together?"

"Because you have those looks," Catherine said giggling. "C'mon, tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," Sara said insistently.

"We know something you don't know," Nick taunted. "Oh, and by the way Sara's pregnant."

Catherine was in complete and utter shock. No wonder Sara was so sweet and nice and plump and chubby. Catherine thought it was the meat. Wrong! It was the baby Sara was carrying.

"H-how far along are you?" Catherine asked still in shock.

"Two months, almost three," Sara answered smiling.

"Oh my God that's great," Catherine said smiling. "My you two have been busy bees. Wait until I tell the other guys…"
"No!" Nick and Sara said in unison.

Catherine put away her cell phone. She was elated for the couple. What was the other thing she didn't know?

"Okay, my lips are sealed," she said. "Now what is it that you know that I don't know?"

"You think we're going to tell you?" Sara said chuckling. "Think again Cath."

Catherine shifted her eyes between the pair suspiciously.

"Excuse me miss," a man said from behind her. "I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are."

Nick and Sara exchanged nervous glances.