Ryu-chan's Fairy Book

龍ちゃんのフェリブック

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Murakami Maki ©. The fanfiction belongs to me.

Warning: Yaoi, please don't read if you don't like this. Flamers are retards. Nothing to learn from them, so there! Take that, Reiji! Meow ha! XD

Plot Cockroach: I know I should be writing programs now but I needed a break na no da! And KumaKuma-chan's so bored! So we came up with a collection of ficlets and pretended to be Ryu-chan writing it fwees! We hope it's good!

Pairing: Changes as the stories change! 0_o

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Fairy Tale # 2: The Producer and the Pea

Pairing: Sakano x Tohma, Yuki x Shuichi

Once upon a time in Tokyo, there was a great company's president called Seguchi Tohma. Everyone else called him Seguchi-san, but Noriko and I call him Tohma na no da so I guess we'll all call him Tohma in this story.

Now, Tohma the president was a cute and handsome young man and he lived happily with his Queen Mika-san in a large mansion on a hill near Tokyo Bay because it was near the Pelshana and sometimes Tohma couldn't be bothered to drive there when he wanted to watch the live shows. Tohma would just walk there.

Anyway Tohma lived with Mika-san and they had a son called Yuki-san… actually Yuki-san was Mika-san's brother but Tohma and Mika-san saw him as a little boy and always tried to meddle in his affairs. This time, they wanted to make Yuki-san marry a good person, a producer.

He couldn't be just any producer.

He had to be a REAL producer.

Which meant that he had to be able to turn into a tornado, he had to be able to cry enough to flood at least a room, scream 'Sorry Seguchi-san I'll take the responsibility', 'Oh no we're 5 minutes past the release date we're gonna die we're gonna die' and break all mirrors with his voice and nibble his fingernails in general nervousness.

That was hard to find, much less a real producer. But Tohma and Mika-san were adamant about Yuki-san marrying a real producer. The thing was, Yuki-san was such a stubborn guy, and they had to knock some sense into him. Tohma tried it out first.

"My cute little brother-in-law Eiri! I've got a request I'd like to make."

"Hn. Make it snappy," Yuki-san hadn't even bothered to look up from his laptop's screen.

"We want you to marry a producer."

"No."

"Not just any producer, but a REAL producer!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll push Aizawa in front of a car for you."

"No."

"I'll buy you a month's supply of fresh apple pie."

"No."

"Shortcake?"

"No."

"Lemonade?"

"No."

"Dammit I'm getting your sister!" Tohma stomped out of the room in a rather OOC fashion and went straight to Mika-san's room to demand her to take a stand to get their 'son' a real producer as a husband. Now, Mika-san was more driven than Tohma and also less tactful.

"Eiri, you've got to grow up and marry a producer. A real producer. NOW!!"

"No."

"Eiri! What have we done to deserve such a son?" she wailed. Yuki-san rolled his eyes.

"I'm your brother, in case you've forgotten that since, say, forever." Everyone could tell that Mika-san and Yuki-san were related. They were both not very tactful people.

"Whatever. You're still going to marry a real producer."

"Why?"

Mika-san thumped the table hotly. "Because I say so that's why!"

Yuki-san got up. He shut his laptop down, packed it up gently, got a bag and stuffed his clothes in it, as well as his personal stuff, and walked towards the door. Mika-san stared at him.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to New York so that you can't find me." Yuki-san strode off, just as angry as his sister was.

Mika-san was upset, but still determined as ever. She wanted her brother to have a good life, after all. Yuki-san knew that. And that's why he loved her, and that's why they knew that he was going to come back. In the meantime, all they had to do was find a prospective husband for him before he returned.

Tohma and Mika-san got an ad published the next day. Before long, all the producers were lining up at their doorstep. Tohma and Mika-san both went through them, but none of them were able to turn into a tornado, cry enough to flood at least a room, scream 'Sorry Seguchi-san I'll take the responsibility', 'Oh no we're 5 minutes past the release date we're gonna die we're gonna die' and break all mirrors with their voice and nibble their fingernails in nervousness.

They were just about to give up when a producer called Sakano-san stepped up towards them hurriedly. He tripped over his own feet and fell down in a flustered heap on the floor in front of the couple.

"Seguchi-san! Mika-san! I'm… *heave* a real producer!"

"Oh, really?" Mika-san asked him testily. "How will you prove it?"

"I don't know I don't know I'm so sorry I'll go right now!!" Sakano-san began to hurry out before he felt a tap on his shoulder by Tohma. "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII –-"

"Relax," Tohma laughed. "You've just proven a part of the test already! Now for the real test – Sakano-san, would you like to stay with us for the night?"

"I… err… Seguchi-san… really?"

Tohma smiled pleasantly (his evil smile na no da). To Sakano-san, this was pure heaven. "I promise I won't let you down, Seguchi-san! I'm a real producer!"

Just then, Yuki-san came in. It was already late at night, so Yuki-san didn't speak much to his prospective husband. Instead, he wore a silly, big grin and headed right away to his room, slamming the door shut.

"That's Eiri, whom you'll be marrying if you're a real producer," Tohma told the nervous Sakano-san.

"Did I do something wrong that he doesn't like me?" the young man straightened his tie out of habit. "Maybe it's my hair… no it's this stupid tie no it's –"

"Don't worry, don't worry!" Tohma laughed. "He's always been like that. And that's why I really like him."

"No kidding, you too?"

"Yes. Anyway, let's take you to your room," Tohma took Sakano-san to his room for the night. Then, in front of him, he put a pea under a stack of mattresses. Sakano-san stared at him, bug eyed.

"S-Seguchi-san!"

"It's okay, relax. Goodnight, Sakano-san. If I find that pea missing in the morning, I'll sack you. Please sleep tight." Smiling sweetly again, Tohma exited the room.

At once Sakano-san frantically dived under the mattresses to find the pea. "I've got to find it I've got to keep it safe for Seguchi-san or I'm not worth NG hiring me as a producer and that won't make me a real producer anymore…"

It went on the whole night.

Mika-san had dark rings round her eyes the next morning.

Tohma smiled prettily but even he had dark rings round so he wore sunglasses.

Yuki-san glared at everybody, bleary-eyed. He had initially wanted to kill Sakano-san with a book aimed at his head, but since the mansion was so big, Yuki-san didn't know where Sakano-san was staying for that night.

Sakano-san came out to the dining room, gasping. "I FOUND IT SEGUCHI-SAN!!"

He produced the pea from his pocket. At that, Tohma beamed. He took the pea from the producer's hands. "Ah, thank you, Sakano-san."

Tohma then threw the pea out of the window, smiling still. "Oopsie. You're fired."

"W…What?"

"You're not a producer anymore now." Tohma got up. He caught hold of Sakano-san and dragged him out towards the exit. The ex-producer began to howl.

"S-SEGUCHI-SAN! I… I…"

"Didn't you hear me? You're not a producer anymore," Tohma repeated his words. He then climbed atop Sakano-san's arms and hurled himself and Sakano-san past and over the threshold. "We're married now. Mika, I've cheated on you. Let's get a divorce but remain partners in looking after Eiri and running NG."

"Okay. I'm calling my lawyer. Now, how about Eiri's husband?"

"I'll marry that guy I met in the park last night while attempting to run away from you to New York so that you couldn't find me and try to run my life," Yuki-san informed them. "You don't have to get involved in this."

"Who's this guy?"

Yuki-san went into his room and returned a few minutes later, pulling a pink haired singer out with him. "This is Shindou Shuichi. He's from Bad Luck, one of your subordinate groups. I screwed him last night and we'd like to get married and live in my new apartment which I had booked only yesterday."

"Ooh… Yuki! Do you really mean that?"

"Yes, baka," Yuki-san patted Shu-chan on his head tenderly.

And therefore, the story ends. Tohma and Mika-san got divorced, with Tohma arranging a marriage ceremony with the new real producer Sakano-san, Yuki marrying Shu-chan and Mika-san planning to re-establish Nittle Grasper. Everyone lived happily ever after.

~*~ おわり ~*~

Notes: Heh, heh! What a weird piece na no da! I don't think it was too Ryu-chan here. I'm sorry! I know I hadn't added in many na no das or comments, but I'll try to next time! Thanks for reading fwees!