A Zelda Story
J Messer
Disclaimer- I don't own the game, although i've played smash brothers and that link character is in it. Also Drugs are Bad M'Kay and Violence is always funny when used against the infidel Jordan.

Comrades Link, Ethan , DJ , Jordan , and Jann are sitting in a bar knocking a few 40's back.

DJ- Man Link I don't even like Zelda games but this Hyrule 40 is bitchin' Jann- Hey where are the bitches, I paid like three bucks to get some here Ethan- Are they Guys Jordan- God I hope so- Take me bitch Ethan- This be what I be talking bout' Ethan and Jordan begin to embrace but this is stopped by a barrage of 45's in thier stupid asses Jann- Damn fools' get a room Link- Lets go on an adventure or something I need some dollars to for some debts. Jann- Ya lets be going Jann and his Posse ride thier Benz' up to Queen Zelda's Brothel.

Jordan- Were going to a whore house? Link- Hey I'm an international Hero i'm like god round here' Ethan- Uhh... Is Jeri Ryan Here? Uhhhhhhhh..... DJ- I thought you were gay ethan Jann- He is (Jann smacks ethan and jordan with the stock of his rifle) Jordan- Can't we just be friends (pause) BUTT FRIENDS Jann- Shut the fuck up Jordan (Jordan aattempts a cornhole but Jann slashes Jordan and jordan groans and dun dun jigga duns himself) Link- Were here (Mistress Zelda comes out of the castle deal and introduces herself.)
Zelda- Care to come in?
(The guys enter the castle and are treated to several hookers and and lots of cash) Zelda- Before you can partake in the games you need to clear the forest of a rival group- Link- Sure (the guys run to the forest and split up) (JOrdan sneeks up on one of the rivals and promptly dun dun gigga duns him) Rival- Ahh its fuckstick! I killed you! (the guy pulls out 2 pistols and finally kills Jordan)

Chapter 2 will actually have a Zelda referance instead of my intellectual theft!