If it doesn't pick up here, I don't think it ever will. A wise man once said 'In reviews, there is truth.' I think I was that man, but I am not sure, since nobody seems to want to review this story. Regrettably, that is a sad state of affairs. sniff. I think it's making me a little crazy. Kangaroos' eat books to look green. You smell like poo.
I think I better get to the lyric quotation before I scare people into think I was high when I wrote this chapter, and that it's a PWP type chapter.
It isn't.
I think.
My bed bites big crocodiles.
Anyway, now for the quote for the chapter:
"Skin to skin, blood and bone,
You're all by yourself but you're not alone,"
This quotation is from 'Bodies' by Drowning Pool. Read on, enjoy, and for the love of God, review!
*-*
Chapter Four: The Mall.
As the X-men pulled up in their respective forms of transportation, the mall didn't look too badly damaged from the outside. Inside, however, the sounds of glass shattering, and structures falling could clearly be heard. And, strangely enough, so could laughter.
"We be facin' the freakin' Jolly Green Giant," Remy muttered. "Whoop-de-freakin'-doo." He readied a couple of cards.
"Aren't you, like, telling us our formations, mister fearless leader?" Kitty said, waving a hand in front of Scott's face. He was just staring at the mall. He snapped to with a jerk when she waved her hand though, and issued the orders.
"Jean, take Gambit and Spyke to the first floor to assault the thing, then get back to me. Rogue, come with me through the front. Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, check for other enemies throughout the mall, and guard the exits, make sure he doesn't escape." He took a breath, "Our gameplan is for Jean to find out his identity, any weaknesses, anything that can help us. I, Gambit and Spyke will hit him with ranged attacks, exploiting any weakness we can see. In case we have to have Rogue touch him, Gambit, Spyke, you guys distract him while Jean and I cover Rogue. Got it? Any questions?"
They all shook their heads, apart from Rogue, who asked, "Can we go now?"
"Let's go then." Scott said grimly.
*-*
The first indication that something was wrong was that Jean, floating Remy and Evan in her TK bubbles, had just gotten to the first floor balcony when she let them go, and fell herself, onto the balcony. It was a short fall, though, and none of them got hurt. Unfortunately, there was no need to ask her what had gone wrong.
"Flamin' card," Remy said, looking at the card in his hand. It turned a faint red as he tried to charge it, and then the red glow faded away completely. He looked up. "Hey Porcupine, got 'ny quills?"
"Nope," Spyke said, looking at his hand. Suddenly a spike crashed out of his arm, nearly spearing him in the face. Remy looked down fast enough to see the card glowing crimson, and flung it away as swiftly as he could.
"Get Scooter, tell him we may need de teachers" Jean nodded, then flew down fast, afraid of losing her powers in midair again. Remy followed Evan into the mall.
*-*
Jean flew down beside Scott, and relayed Remy's message. Then she noticed that he wasn't even looking at her. He was staring ahead, a very determined look on his face. She turned to see what he was looking at, and saw the Brotherhood smiling at her from the sides of the room, while in the middle, the monster destroyed assorted pieces of furniture. Scott looked like he was going to stay there the rest of his life if leaving meant another victory for Lance. *Still, that doesn't mean we can defeat a monster who can remove our powers* Jean thought irately, *men can be so pigheaded at times!* Still, she turned to Scott. As she started to repeat to him the necessity of leaving, he held up a hand.
"I heard you the first time, Jean," He said. "But we can do this without assistance. Gambit was right. I am the leader, and I know what is best for the team! I am confident that we can win this fight by ourselves, and prove to the Brotherhood that we are superior! … now if only we knew how that monster got here, and his connection with the Brotherhood."
She answered, her sarcasm thinly disguised "Maybe, just maybe, Lance invited you to the dike so you could nearly blast him, and I, being the fair referee with TK powers, could bring him back up, along with a device he knew was hidden in a mine shaft under him. Maybe, possibly, this object was used to summon the monster."
Scott stared at her in open awe. "My God, Jean! I do believe you've solved the mystery! How did you do it? What convoluted clues led you to this? What cold cut logic did you use?"
He was hit on the head by Rogue. "Maybe she just scanned Lance's mind, doofus." She was pretty irritated by him at that point. Jean however, was concerned. "What's wrong Scott? Why are you acting like this?"
His reply was cut off as a cherry-bomb exploded nearly on top of them. The Brotherhood was tired of waiting.
*-*
However, that was just about the only thing done using mutant powers. As soon as Remy saw the bomb, he let lose with three cards. They flew straight and true- for about a second, and then lost their charge, fluttering to a halt near the monsters feet. That made the Brotherhood and the monster look behind them, to where Remy and Evan were crouching behind the first floor railing. "Way to go man," Evan whispered.
Just then, the cards glowed red again, and exploded. The monster staggered back a few feet and growled. It then made a motion with its hands, and a hush fell on the mall. "Damn, powers gone ag'in." Remy said, and nodded when Evan added, "This time, it feels permanent."
*-*
"What has he done?" Tabitha screamed at Lance, who was too shaken to reprimand her.
"He's stopped our powers somehow." He replied, hoping Cyclops didn't take advantage of their indecision.
"Well, make him stop!" Tabitha screamed, not unlike a spoilt child. She was taking the loss of her powers hard.
"Uh, Mystique has the controller." He hoped she wouldn't attack him with her hands, in front of Summers and the rest. That would be painful. Painful, and embarrassing.
Not noticing the exchange, the monster went on destroying stuff. Every mutant was frozen, even with strenuous physical training, they all were unsure without being able to rely on their powers. It was Remy who solved the problem though.
"Ah, screw you guys, I'm goin' home." He said, a la Cartman from Southpark. He got up and walked away. All the mutants were unsure how to respond to this. While they were deciding what to do, he suddenly reappeared with a large box, which he threw at the feet of the brotherhood. It smashed open to release lots and lots of ball bearings.
Evan, who was also missing, appeared with a T-shirt launcher. He released a salvo at the brotherhood yelling, "Say hello to my little friend!" Remy helped him by reloading the launcher, and they started scattering the brotherhood.
*-*
Nor were the other X-men standing around. As Scott saw Remy and Evan take the initiative, he motioned to the others to do the same. He himself ran into a pet store, and released the snakes, monkeys, dogs etc. It was time to fight dirty.
Rogue, on the other hand, went for maximum chaos with minimum effort. She simply walked up to the fire hose, turned it on, and swept away the opposition.
The opposition, however, were not so easily beaten. Freddy picked up a mannequin and hurled it at Remy and Evan, who ducked long enough to reload, and were up firing immediately thereafter.
Todd was busy shooing away the dogs and monkeys etc, and they all did turn away, running back towards the X-men, maybe because of his smell, or the green monster not too far from him. The snakes, however, seemed to like him, and were busy following him around after he realized they were heading for him, and tried to get away.
Lance and Tabitha came from the food court armed with pizzas and salamis enough to start their food fight. Lance also procured a tube which he connected to the drink dispenser, and sprayed Rogue, Jean and Scott with. The sides were pretty evenly matched.
*-*
Kurt bamfed to where Kitty was. "Any enemies?" He asked. She shook her head. "Like, zero."
He nodded. "Same here. There aren't any, at the exits at least. Oh, by the way, did your powers stop working at any time?"
She looked thoughtful "Yeah, for a short time, but they came back. I dunno what's happening here. I think Scott and the others have their work cut out for them."
"Okay, well, our orders are to patrol, so we should stay on the outskirts of the mall. Although I think we should check in on the team from time to time."
Kitty turned and walked through the wall in front of her, while Kurt bamfed towards the next exit.
*-*
The battle between the X-men and the Brotherhood had settled down to a normal fistfight, after the initial usage of mall objects stopped. Jean faced Tabitha, Evan faced Pietro, Rogue and Remy squared off against Freddy, while Todd ran away from the snakes.
"If ah save your ass, Cajun, it doesn't mean ah love ya" Rogue growled.
Remy waved a hand dismissively. "If ah grab yours, it means ah do." He said, imitating her. That line would either land him in her arms, or in the hospital. He was pretty sure it would be the latter, but he figured he was deep enough in the doghouse to risk it. The shock had barely faded from Rogue's face when he jumped at Freddy, trying to take him down. He failed miserably, of course. Even without the power of being immovable, Freddy was too goddamn fat to be taken down by anyone but a pro-football player. He did stagger a few steps though, then walked up to Remy, sitting stunned on the floor, pushed him into a supine position, and sat on him. And smiled.
Rogue, regardless of what she was feeling for Remy at the moment, tried to get the Blob off him. Unfortunately, she didn't have any powers, so her fists were rather ineffective. The only effect she had was that Freddy started pretending Remy was a horse. As Remy's screams rent the air, she frantically cast around for something to hit Freddy with.
She came up with a 2 by 4, which she proceeded to hit Freddy with.
His smile frozen in place, he keeled over. She helped Remy up. "De hit to de head, dat was one for love, no?" He grinned at her.
"No." She said, brusquely, but he thought he saw her redden a bit. Her ears anyway, you couldn't tell about the face because of the darned makeup. He had to keep at it anyway, keep her off balance, so she wouldn't think about hitting him or something, so he grabbed her by the arm. "C'mon chérie, the others need some help."
*-*
Kurt and Kitty met again.
"Anything?"
"Like zilch, elf."
"Maybe we should go check out what's happening?"
"Fine by me."
Kurt held Kitty by the waist. She smiled – very slightly – and held his hand with hers, distancing it from her body. He made a face, but bamfed anyway.
*-*
Jean dispatched Tabitha off easily enough, pretty proud at the fitness of her muscles, when she had telepathy, and telekinesis to make things easier for her.
She turned to where Rogue and Remy were watching Scott and Lance fight. She raised an eyebrow quizzically, and Rogue replied "He doesn't want help." She said it the same way she would have said "Having his ass kicked is high on his list of things to do."
"Maybe you people should take care of the green dude?" Scott said, his frustration apparent. Lance hadn't hurt him, but neither had he hurt Lance. They were irritatingly evenly matched in hand-to-hand combat.
At that moment, Kurt and Kitty fell out of midair. Jean tersely explained the loss of powers, and that they were fighting the monster, as she walked towards them.
"Still, it is five on one, so we should beat him easily." Kurt pointed out. Out of the seven X-men who had gone to the mall, Scott was fighting Lance, and Evan and Pietro were knocked out, as the monster had pushed through them while continuing his damage. Todd was hanging off a streamer, as snakes circled below him.
"Maybe we should step back so you c'n go mono-e-mono, Elf?"
"Shut up, Remy. Kurt, you and Kitty distract him. Remy, you, Rogue and I will take him down."
"Like, why don't we ever get to do anything?" Kitty looked close to sulking.
"Observe." Remy said. He poked Kurt in the chest. Kurt fell down. "See? He be light enough to float, an' you ain' called half-pint for nothin'."
"We are wasting time." Jean said through gritted teeth. The monster had nearly destroyed the whole downstairs area. "Kurt, Kitty, go and distract it."
"So what do we do? Ah hope you have a plan."
"That thing looks too strong to take down by our punches. We are going to have to trip him."
Rogue stared. "That was your master plan? Ah thought you were smart. And what, pray tell, do we do when he gets up?"
"We make sure he doesn't get up." Jean replied, getting irritated at her plan being questioned. After all, she was the one who was a straight A student, not Rogue.
"And how do you propose that, Shugah?"
Remy wasn't even listening. He was looking at Kurt and Kitty yelling at the monster. So far the monster hadn't even looked at them. The most they were doing was stamping their feet.
"Damned amateurs," He muttered "Dey really need to learn how to bug people." He started walking towards a plant pot. "So let's have them take tips from the master." He called to them as he picked up the pot. "This is what you should do, ames." He threw the pot at the monsters head.
After the pot shattered against its head without doing any noticeable damage, the monster turned to look at him, as well as at Jean and Rogue, who were arguing by now. He started walking towards them.
Jean and Rogue only noticed when Remy ran past them saying "I pissed off the fils de chienne!"
"Fils de what?" Rogue asked Jean, who took French, as they ran.
"I wouldn't dirty my mouth by telling you. 'Fils de' means 'son of'. Now figure it out." She called ahead to Remy, who could be seen disappearing around a corner; "You foul-mouthed, bludgeon-headed coward! Kurt and Kitty were supposed to distract him, not us! Now come back here and fix the mess you've made!"
*-*
At this point, Kurt and Kitty were trying to figure out what to do.
"Any ideas?" Kurt asked.
Kitty giggled. "Yeah, you go and knock him down." She poked Kurt, who fell down again.
"You do that again, Pryde, and I'll leave you with Forge." He thought about it. "No, I'll leave Remy with Forge, and bamf you to the Caribbean with me." She inched away.
"So like I was saying, any ideas?"
"We could like, try to distract him, and hope Jean can improvise a plan."
"Fine by me." Kurt said as they chased after the monster.
"Stop saying that!"
"Fine by- oh what the heck. Alright, I'll stop."
*-*
Scott was still fighting Lance. "Ha! Face it Summers! You can't beat me!" Lance grinned through clenched teeth.
That was what finally made Scott lose control. He made a Juggernaut-esque charge at Lance, slamming his knee between Lance's legs. Lance made a squished sound as he fell to the floor. Scott then proceeded to kick him until he was fairly certain Lance wouldn't have children without major surgery. He then turned to where the monster was, standing with Remy a few feet away, under the roof of the first floor, with Jean and Rogue fallen on the floor, and Kitty and Kurt hanging on to the monsters back. It still hadn't noticed them.
"Jean! No!" He ran up the stairs.
*-*
The majority of his vision was taken up by the monster, but out of the corner of his eyes, Remy saw Scott kicking Lance. As he crouched against the wall with the monster breathing deeply, and looking at him as if trying to decide what type of death would be painful. Just then Scott looked towards him and the others and shouted "Jean! No!" Remy's fear lessened a little. Maybe he wouldn't be pulped. Just then Scott ran up the stairs.
Remy's eyes bulged. He had not thought Scott would run away, no matter how quirky he had been lately. But that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was to get out of the mall on his own two feet, and not on a stretcher… or in a casket. Maybe he could distract the monster himself. He got to his feet, and dusted himself. Then he stuck out his hand.
"My name is Remy, and I'm pleased to meet you." The monster ignored the proffered hand, and glared at Remy. Then he growled. Remy, who knew from hanging around with Wolverine that when you were growled at, the best place to be was as far away as possible, gulped. But he had no choice. He had to keep talking, and hope the monster would not beat him up.
"This be your first time in this town, right?" Another growl.
Rogue shifted slightly and whispered "For Gawds sake Cajun, caint you ever shut up? You're pissing him off even more." Remy gaped. He didn't think Rogue would play dead. In the second it took him to realise that Rogue was faking, the monster had picked him up.
"Aw, gee thanks Rogue. I wonder why he wasn't picking me up when I was talking."
"Nice to know you cain be sarcastic when you're being crushed. An' better you than me, Gumbo."
Remy wondered why the monster hadn't hit him yet. He looked at the monster, and saw him looking interestedly at Remy. He raised an eyebrow, and asked a question on impulse.
"You can understand us, can't you?"
The monster nodded. A muffled "Aw cripes!" can from the general direction of Rogue's seemingly supine body.
"Well, can you speak?"
The monster shook his head.
"Are you going t' do grievous bodily harm to me?"
The monster nodded.
"Ah. Okay, will you leave de rest of dem alone?" What was that annoying scraping sound?
It shook its head. Then it raised its other hand to strike Remy. Remy closed his eyes.
"Love ya, Rogue."
Just then a sofa came and landed on the monster and Remy. He was only glancingly hurt, however, as the arm raised to hit him had interrupted the meeting of the sofa and his face. As the monster was knocked out, Remy felt the return of his powers. Just then, Scott's voice called from above.
"Is it out? And is Jean fine?"
"Yeah, it's out, and yeah, I'm fine." Jean said, getting up. Remy stared.
"Both of you were pretending t' be unconscious?"
Jean nodded.
"Women." Remy muttered. Aloud he said "Nice to know. Now can you get this sofa off me?"
She raised the sofa telekinetically, and smashed it onto the monster as Remy rolled away.
Kitty and Kurt had jumped away when they saw Scott pushing the sofa, and they came forward to help Remy up. Scott joined them.
"What do we do now?" Jean asked him.
"We go home, and tell Xavier that we have temporarily neutralized a threat to the city, and ask him about any further instructions."
"We just leave it here?"
"Do you want that thing waking in the mansion and neutralizing all our powers? We don't have a way to shield its effect. And we don't need to take the Brotherhood."
The rest of the team nodded.
*-*
When the X-men left the mall, the monster was piled under every piece of rubble it had made. The Brotherhood were wrapped in the middle of the mall (With ribbons, Kitty had insisted), and a bow on Lance's head. Todd was still hanging above the snakes, who had had a box put around them with Jean's TK to make sure they didn't get bored and go away.
When the police arrived, there was only destruction, with none of the Brotherhood, or the monster, in sight.
*-*
Was it good? Was it bad? I don't think I'll ever find out unless someone presses the 'review' button. I realise I'm might be irritating people with all this insistence, but hey, it did take quite a lot of time and effort, so I'd like to know if it was worth it.
Please let me know..
I think I better get to the lyric quotation before I scare people into think I was high when I wrote this chapter, and that it's a PWP type chapter.
It isn't.
I think.
My bed bites big crocodiles.
Anyway, now for the quote for the chapter:
"Skin to skin, blood and bone,
You're all by yourself but you're not alone,"
This quotation is from 'Bodies' by Drowning Pool. Read on, enjoy, and for the love of God, review!
*-*
Chapter Four: The Mall.
As the X-men pulled up in their respective forms of transportation, the mall didn't look too badly damaged from the outside. Inside, however, the sounds of glass shattering, and structures falling could clearly be heard. And, strangely enough, so could laughter.
"We be facin' the freakin' Jolly Green Giant," Remy muttered. "Whoop-de-freakin'-doo." He readied a couple of cards.
"Aren't you, like, telling us our formations, mister fearless leader?" Kitty said, waving a hand in front of Scott's face. He was just staring at the mall. He snapped to with a jerk when she waved her hand though, and issued the orders.
"Jean, take Gambit and Spyke to the first floor to assault the thing, then get back to me. Rogue, come with me through the front. Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, check for other enemies throughout the mall, and guard the exits, make sure he doesn't escape." He took a breath, "Our gameplan is for Jean to find out his identity, any weaknesses, anything that can help us. I, Gambit and Spyke will hit him with ranged attacks, exploiting any weakness we can see. In case we have to have Rogue touch him, Gambit, Spyke, you guys distract him while Jean and I cover Rogue. Got it? Any questions?"
They all shook their heads, apart from Rogue, who asked, "Can we go now?"
"Let's go then." Scott said grimly.
*-*
The first indication that something was wrong was that Jean, floating Remy and Evan in her TK bubbles, had just gotten to the first floor balcony when she let them go, and fell herself, onto the balcony. It was a short fall, though, and none of them got hurt. Unfortunately, there was no need to ask her what had gone wrong.
"Flamin' card," Remy said, looking at the card in his hand. It turned a faint red as he tried to charge it, and then the red glow faded away completely. He looked up. "Hey Porcupine, got 'ny quills?"
"Nope," Spyke said, looking at his hand. Suddenly a spike crashed out of his arm, nearly spearing him in the face. Remy looked down fast enough to see the card glowing crimson, and flung it away as swiftly as he could.
"Get Scooter, tell him we may need de teachers" Jean nodded, then flew down fast, afraid of losing her powers in midair again. Remy followed Evan into the mall.
*-*
Jean flew down beside Scott, and relayed Remy's message. Then she noticed that he wasn't even looking at her. He was staring ahead, a very determined look on his face. She turned to see what he was looking at, and saw the Brotherhood smiling at her from the sides of the room, while in the middle, the monster destroyed assorted pieces of furniture. Scott looked like he was going to stay there the rest of his life if leaving meant another victory for Lance. *Still, that doesn't mean we can defeat a monster who can remove our powers* Jean thought irately, *men can be so pigheaded at times!* Still, she turned to Scott. As she started to repeat to him the necessity of leaving, he held up a hand.
"I heard you the first time, Jean," He said. "But we can do this without assistance. Gambit was right. I am the leader, and I know what is best for the team! I am confident that we can win this fight by ourselves, and prove to the Brotherhood that we are superior! … now if only we knew how that monster got here, and his connection with the Brotherhood."
She answered, her sarcasm thinly disguised "Maybe, just maybe, Lance invited you to the dike so you could nearly blast him, and I, being the fair referee with TK powers, could bring him back up, along with a device he knew was hidden in a mine shaft under him. Maybe, possibly, this object was used to summon the monster."
Scott stared at her in open awe. "My God, Jean! I do believe you've solved the mystery! How did you do it? What convoluted clues led you to this? What cold cut logic did you use?"
He was hit on the head by Rogue. "Maybe she just scanned Lance's mind, doofus." She was pretty irritated by him at that point. Jean however, was concerned. "What's wrong Scott? Why are you acting like this?"
His reply was cut off as a cherry-bomb exploded nearly on top of them. The Brotherhood was tired of waiting.
*-*
However, that was just about the only thing done using mutant powers. As soon as Remy saw the bomb, he let lose with three cards. They flew straight and true- for about a second, and then lost their charge, fluttering to a halt near the monsters feet. That made the Brotherhood and the monster look behind them, to where Remy and Evan were crouching behind the first floor railing. "Way to go man," Evan whispered.
Just then, the cards glowed red again, and exploded. The monster staggered back a few feet and growled. It then made a motion with its hands, and a hush fell on the mall. "Damn, powers gone ag'in." Remy said, and nodded when Evan added, "This time, it feels permanent."
*-*
"What has he done?" Tabitha screamed at Lance, who was too shaken to reprimand her.
"He's stopped our powers somehow." He replied, hoping Cyclops didn't take advantage of their indecision.
"Well, make him stop!" Tabitha screamed, not unlike a spoilt child. She was taking the loss of her powers hard.
"Uh, Mystique has the controller." He hoped she wouldn't attack him with her hands, in front of Summers and the rest. That would be painful. Painful, and embarrassing.
Not noticing the exchange, the monster went on destroying stuff. Every mutant was frozen, even with strenuous physical training, they all were unsure without being able to rely on their powers. It was Remy who solved the problem though.
"Ah, screw you guys, I'm goin' home." He said, a la Cartman from Southpark. He got up and walked away. All the mutants were unsure how to respond to this. While they were deciding what to do, he suddenly reappeared with a large box, which he threw at the feet of the brotherhood. It smashed open to release lots and lots of ball bearings.
Evan, who was also missing, appeared with a T-shirt launcher. He released a salvo at the brotherhood yelling, "Say hello to my little friend!" Remy helped him by reloading the launcher, and they started scattering the brotherhood.
*-*
Nor were the other X-men standing around. As Scott saw Remy and Evan take the initiative, he motioned to the others to do the same. He himself ran into a pet store, and released the snakes, monkeys, dogs etc. It was time to fight dirty.
Rogue, on the other hand, went for maximum chaos with minimum effort. She simply walked up to the fire hose, turned it on, and swept away the opposition.
The opposition, however, were not so easily beaten. Freddy picked up a mannequin and hurled it at Remy and Evan, who ducked long enough to reload, and were up firing immediately thereafter.
Todd was busy shooing away the dogs and monkeys etc, and they all did turn away, running back towards the X-men, maybe because of his smell, or the green monster not too far from him. The snakes, however, seemed to like him, and were busy following him around after he realized they were heading for him, and tried to get away.
Lance and Tabitha came from the food court armed with pizzas and salamis enough to start their food fight. Lance also procured a tube which he connected to the drink dispenser, and sprayed Rogue, Jean and Scott with. The sides were pretty evenly matched.
*-*
Kurt bamfed to where Kitty was. "Any enemies?" He asked. She shook her head. "Like, zero."
He nodded. "Same here. There aren't any, at the exits at least. Oh, by the way, did your powers stop working at any time?"
She looked thoughtful "Yeah, for a short time, but they came back. I dunno what's happening here. I think Scott and the others have their work cut out for them."
"Okay, well, our orders are to patrol, so we should stay on the outskirts of the mall. Although I think we should check in on the team from time to time."
Kitty turned and walked through the wall in front of her, while Kurt bamfed towards the next exit.
*-*
The battle between the X-men and the Brotherhood had settled down to a normal fistfight, after the initial usage of mall objects stopped. Jean faced Tabitha, Evan faced Pietro, Rogue and Remy squared off against Freddy, while Todd ran away from the snakes.
"If ah save your ass, Cajun, it doesn't mean ah love ya" Rogue growled.
Remy waved a hand dismissively. "If ah grab yours, it means ah do." He said, imitating her. That line would either land him in her arms, or in the hospital. He was pretty sure it would be the latter, but he figured he was deep enough in the doghouse to risk it. The shock had barely faded from Rogue's face when he jumped at Freddy, trying to take him down. He failed miserably, of course. Even without the power of being immovable, Freddy was too goddamn fat to be taken down by anyone but a pro-football player. He did stagger a few steps though, then walked up to Remy, sitting stunned on the floor, pushed him into a supine position, and sat on him. And smiled.
Rogue, regardless of what she was feeling for Remy at the moment, tried to get the Blob off him. Unfortunately, she didn't have any powers, so her fists were rather ineffective. The only effect she had was that Freddy started pretending Remy was a horse. As Remy's screams rent the air, she frantically cast around for something to hit Freddy with.
She came up with a 2 by 4, which she proceeded to hit Freddy with.
His smile frozen in place, he keeled over. She helped Remy up. "De hit to de head, dat was one for love, no?" He grinned at her.
"No." She said, brusquely, but he thought he saw her redden a bit. Her ears anyway, you couldn't tell about the face because of the darned makeup. He had to keep at it anyway, keep her off balance, so she wouldn't think about hitting him or something, so he grabbed her by the arm. "C'mon chérie, the others need some help."
*-*
Kurt and Kitty met again.
"Anything?"
"Like zilch, elf."
"Maybe we should go check out what's happening?"
"Fine by me."
Kurt held Kitty by the waist. She smiled – very slightly – and held his hand with hers, distancing it from her body. He made a face, but bamfed anyway.
*-*
Jean dispatched Tabitha off easily enough, pretty proud at the fitness of her muscles, when she had telepathy, and telekinesis to make things easier for her.
She turned to where Rogue and Remy were watching Scott and Lance fight. She raised an eyebrow quizzically, and Rogue replied "He doesn't want help." She said it the same way she would have said "Having his ass kicked is high on his list of things to do."
"Maybe you people should take care of the green dude?" Scott said, his frustration apparent. Lance hadn't hurt him, but neither had he hurt Lance. They were irritatingly evenly matched in hand-to-hand combat.
At that moment, Kurt and Kitty fell out of midair. Jean tersely explained the loss of powers, and that they were fighting the monster, as she walked towards them.
"Still, it is five on one, so we should beat him easily." Kurt pointed out. Out of the seven X-men who had gone to the mall, Scott was fighting Lance, and Evan and Pietro were knocked out, as the monster had pushed through them while continuing his damage. Todd was hanging off a streamer, as snakes circled below him.
"Maybe we should step back so you c'n go mono-e-mono, Elf?"
"Shut up, Remy. Kurt, you and Kitty distract him. Remy, you, Rogue and I will take him down."
"Like, why don't we ever get to do anything?" Kitty looked close to sulking.
"Observe." Remy said. He poked Kurt in the chest. Kurt fell down. "See? He be light enough to float, an' you ain' called half-pint for nothin'."
"We are wasting time." Jean said through gritted teeth. The monster had nearly destroyed the whole downstairs area. "Kurt, Kitty, go and distract it."
"So what do we do? Ah hope you have a plan."
"That thing looks too strong to take down by our punches. We are going to have to trip him."
Rogue stared. "That was your master plan? Ah thought you were smart. And what, pray tell, do we do when he gets up?"
"We make sure he doesn't get up." Jean replied, getting irritated at her plan being questioned. After all, she was the one who was a straight A student, not Rogue.
"And how do you propose that, Shugah?"
Remy wasn't even listening. He was looking at Kurt and Kitty yelling at the monster. So far the monster hadn't even looked at them. The most they were doing was stamping their feet.
"Damned amateurs," He muttered "Dey really need to learn how to bug people." He started walking towards a plant pot. "So let's have them take tips from the master." He called to them as he picked up the pot. "This is what you should do, ames." He threw the pot at the monsters head.
After the pot shattered against its head without doing any noticeable damage, the monster turned to look at him, as well as at Jean and Rogue, who were arguing by now. He started walking towards them.
Jean and Rogue only noticed when Remy ran past them saying "I pissed off the fils de chienne!"
"Fils de what?" Rogue asked Jean, who took French, as they ran.
"I wouldn't dirty my mouth by telling you. 'Fils de' means 'son of'. Now figure it out." She called ahead to Remy, who could be seen disappearing around a corner; "You foul-mouthed, bludgeon-headed coward! Kurt and Kitty were supposed to distract him, not us! Now come back here and fix the mess you've made!"
*-*
At this point, Kurt and Kitty were trying to figure out what to do.
"Any ideas?" Kurt asked.
Kitty giggled. "Yeah, you go and knock him down." She poked Kurt, who fell down again.
"You do that again, Pryde, and I'll leave you with Forge." He thought about it. "No, I'll leave Remy with Forge, and bamf you to the Caribbean with me." She inched away.
"So like I was saying, any ideas?"
"We could like, try to distract him, and hope Jean can improvise a plan."
"Fine by me." Kurt said as they chased after the monster.
"Stop saying that!"
"Fine by- oh what the heck. Alright, I'll stop."
*-*
Scott was still fighting Lance. "Ha! Face it Summers! You can't beat me!" Lance grinned through clenched teeth.
That was what finally made Scott lose control. He made a Juggernaut-esque charge at Lance, slamming his knee between Lance's legs. Lance made a squished sound as he fell to the floor. Scott then proceeded to kick him until he was fairly certain Lance wouldn't have children without major surgery. He then turned to where the monster was, standing with Remy a few feet away, under the roof of the first floor, with Jean and Rogue fallen on the floor, and Kitty and Kurt hanging on to the monsters back. It still hadn't noticed them.
"Jean! No!" He ran up the stairs.
*-*
The majority of his vision was taken up by the monster, but out of the corner of his eyes, Remy saw Scott kicking Lance. As he crouched against the wall with the monster breathing deeply, and looking at him as if trying to decide what type of death would be painful. Just then Scott looked towards him and the others and shouted "Jean! No!" Remy's fear lessened a little. Maybe he wouldn't be pulped. Just then Scott ran up the stairs.
Remy's eyes bulged. He had not thought Scott would run away, no matter how quirky he had been lately. But that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was to get out of the mall on his own two feet, and not on a stretcher… or in a casket. Maybe he could distract the monster himself. He got to his feet, and dusted himself. Then he stuck out his hand.
"My name is Remy, and I'm pleased to meet you." The monster ignored the proffered hand, and glared at Remy. Then he growled. Remy, who knew from hanging around with Wolverine that when you were growled at, the best place to be was as far away as possible, gulped. But he had no choice. He had to keep talking, and hope the monster would not beat him up.
"This be your first time in this town, right?" Another growl.
Rogue shifted slightly and whispered "For Gawds sake Cajun, caint you ever shut up? You're pissing him off even more." Remy gaped. He didn't think Rogue would play dead. In the second it took him to realise that Rogue was faking, the monster had picked him up.
"Aw, gee thanks Rogue. I wonder why he wasn't picking me up when I was talking."
"Nice to know you cain be sarcastic when you're being crushed. An' better you than me, Gumbo."
Remy wondered why the monster hadn't hit him yet. He looked at the monster, and saw him looking interestedly at Remy. He raised an eyebrow, and asked a question on impulse.
"You can understand us, can't you?"
The monster nodded. A muffled "Aw cripes!" can from the general direction of Rogue's seemingly supine body.
"Well, can you speak?"
The monster shook his head.
"Are you going t' do grievous bodily harm to me?"
The monster nodded.
"Ah. Okay, will you leave de rest of dem alone?" What was that annoying scraping sound?
It shook its head. Then it raised its other hand to strike Remy. Remy closed his eyes.
"Love ya, Rogue."
Just then a sofa came and landed on the monster and Remy. He was only glancingly hurt, however, as the arm raised to hit him had interrupted the meeting of the sofa and his face. As the monster was knocked out, Remy felt the return of his powers. Just then, Scott's voice called from above.
"Is it out? And is Jean fine?"
"Yeah, it's out, and yeah, I'm fine." Jean said, getting up. Remy stared.
"Both of you were pretending t' be unconscious?"
Jean nodded.
"Women." Remy muttered. Aloud he said "Nice to know. Now can you get this sofa off me?"
She raised the sofa telekinetically, and smashed it onto the monster as Remy rolled away.
Kitty and Kurt had jumped away when they saw Scott pushing the sofa, and they came forward to help Remy up. Scott joined them.
"What do we do now?" Jean asked him.
"We go home, and tell Xavier that we have temporarily neutralized a threat to the city, and ask him about any further instructions."
"We just leave it here?"
"Do you want that thing waking in the mansion and neutralizing all our powers? We don't have a way to shield its effect. And we don't need to take the Brotherhood."
The rest of the team nodded.
*-*
When the X-men left the mall, the monster was piled under every piece of rubble it had made. The Brotherhood were wrapped in the middle of the mall (With ribbons, Kitty had insisted), and a bow on Lance's head. Todd was still hanging above the snakes, who had had a box put around them with Jean's TK to make sure they didn't get bored and go away.
When the police arrived, there was only destruction, with none of the Brotherhood, or the monster, in sight.
*-*
Was it good? Was it bad? I don't think I'll ever find out unless someone presses the 'review' button. I realise I'm might be irritating people with all this insistence, but hey, it did take quite a lot of time and effort, so I'd like to know if it was worth it.
Please let me know..
