Er, Alyssa; each chapter is longer than the previous one. I made it that
way on purpose. But not to worry, it all ends here.
"In your eyes I see a fire that burns to free
the you, that's running through,"
And that is the last quote, from 'Devil's Dance' by Metallica. I hope people had as much fun reading this fic as I did writing it.
Chapter Eight: Terminer (Finish)
The Brotherhood arrived at the mansion to see that the defences were all inactive. It seemed to make their job easier, but most of them did not need Mystique to tell them that it was a trap. The gates swung open as they drove. They were expected.
"Be careful," Mystique said, "It's a trap, so be alert. Get to your positions ASAP. Lance, bamf to the balcony, and radio the X-men's positions from there. Tabitha, phase from the side door, into the kitchen. They'll never expect you coming from there."
"Not even with two telepaths?" Tabitha asked, her voice dripping sarcasm.
"Oh, Goddamn. I forgot about that. How come Xavier never shuts our brains off, or makes us think we're good guys?"
"That would make for a very short series."
"Oh, of course, right. Well, then just assault. It's kind of useless trying to surprise someone who is reading our minds at this very moment." Lance and Tabitha nodded, and got to their positions, Lance disappearing with a choking stench, and Tabitha phasing through the car door.
*-*
Lance bamfed to the balcony. He looked inside, noting the positions of the X-men. He started to radio Mystique, and then noticed a familiar reek he hadn't smelt for a few days. He turned to see Evan standing there.
"Hello," Evan said, then suddenly extended his tongue, catching Lance's radio, and flicking it down into the garden. "Eeyuck!" he added, "that felt soo gross, knowing that's what Toad does with flies." Then he charged Lance. Lance knew he would be at a disadvantage, because Evan had Todd's powerful legs and tongue, and heightened reflexes, so he bamfed without any especial thought as to where he was going.
*-*
The room Lance bamfed into was definitely a girls'. His eyes travelled over the rows and rows of beauty products, taking in the neat order of things; shampoos on one side, conditioners next to them, then moisturizing creams. he paused. They were all in alphabetical order! He didn't have to see the name written in pink on the walls to know whose room this was.
"Okay," he muttered to himself, looking at a map of the mansion, "Jean's room is right above the war room. I can bamf down there and get them from behind." Taking a final look around the room (and adding "eeyuck!" under his breath,) he bamfed to the floor below.
*-*
Lance opened the door of the unoccupied war room to see the usual chaos that took place in a Brotherhood-X men fight.
He could see Pietro and Kitty fighting outside, Pietro -looking woozy from having Freddy absorb his powers- with Tabitha's bombs, and Kitty with Lebeau's charged cards. Inside he noticed Xavier grabbing his head and saying "The rose bushes! The marble floor! The wallpaper! All ruined! Oh, why did I have to have ethics?" When he wasn't moaning about the mansion, he was trying to encourage his students, but was taking no especial part in the fight.
Freddy was spewing out bombs as well, and trying to touch anyone who came near. Wagner was standing a few metres away, and trying to create a localised earthquake. Lance sneered. He was even worse at making earthquakes than Summers was.
He noticed Tabitha phase through the floor as Rogue tried to hit her with Evan's spikes. He saw Jean, hiding in a corner, all puffed up. There was no sign of Summers, or Lebeau, which was really strange. Another strange thing was that none of the teachers were taking part in the fight for some reason. Probably because of the abstract concept called 'fairness'.
He wanted to take part in the fight, but with Wagner's powers, he was pretty useless, so he did what they had come to do; find the monster. He bamfed away, aiming for the basement.
*-*
Remy arrived at the mansion well ahead of Scott, who seemed to have lost all focus as he flew on, and was jerking about in midair. He ran in before anyone noticed him, and took in the whole situation in a heartbeat. He figured he had to get to the monster, as at least one of the Brotherhood would try to wake it again.
"Oh good Remy, you've arrived. Do you know where Scott-" Xavier broke off, realising Remy was no longer there. He huffily slumped in his chair, arms folded, waiting for his students to convince the Brotherhood to stop fighting. However that didn't seem to be happening any time soon. The fights had not lessened in intensity by the time Scott arrived, minutes later.
*-*
The basement was colder then he remembered it. Colder, and darker as well. The smell of brimstone hit his nostrils, telling him he was not alone. Some Brotherhood mutant was down there with him. He was pretty sure he could handle all of them one-on-one, but he would get really irritated if this particular mutant was-
"So Lebeau, we meet again,"
-Lance Alvers. Argh.
Why God, why?
"I remember what you did, all the way back when, at the dike. We have to become even."
Why did it have to be Lance Alvers down here?
"If you let me kick you, I won't embarrass you in any other way, like I will have to, if we fight."
Jesus H. Christ! Why?
"What do you say, Lebeau?"
Why couldn't it be the Blob? Yes, he would be harder to fight, but he was as articulate as a cow.
"Will you say something??"
"Non." Remy sped towards him and gave a sweeping kick, taking out Lance's legs from under him before he realised what was happening. Lance then bamfed, but by that time, Remy had grabbed Lance's leg, and had his other foot arcing towards Lance's face. That was why they both bamfed together, with Remy' foot inches from Lance's face. They appeared a few feet above the roof, and Remy's foot had made the slightest contact with Lance's mouth, when everything simply stopped. They were left suspended in midair, unable to move anything except their eyes and their mouths. They looked at each other, and despite Remy's foot touching Lance's face, and their past differences, they were united in sharing the feeling that something bad was about to happen to them.
*-*
The students were fighting when Scott came in. The teachers looked at him in surprise as he floated forward.
"Where is he?" Scott said, but in a voice other that his own; it was deeper, and somehow, it was grander as well. It seemed to reverberate around the room.
"Where is who, Scott?" Xavier asked, unsure of how to deal with this new Scott.
"Scott is not here. I am using this body as a vessel." Scott paused, and fire seemed to come out of his eyes. "I am the Phoenix Force."
Scott continued talking in that deep voice in the stunned silence that followed.
"I, the Phoenix Force, am the sum of all things that have ever lived, and will ever live, in this galaxy, and other galaxies, in this reality and other realities. I came to this world and this reality, because I had found the perfect receptacle for my essence. Her name was Jean Grey." Scott's face grew confused as he continued talking, "However, when I arrived here, I found that the girl Jean Grey did not have the powers I required to make the transfer of my essence a favourable one. However, there was this person, Scott Summers, who did. I therefore transferred my essence into him. It was really strange at first, because I was expecting menstrual problems, and here I have testosterone imbalance. However, that is only a minor matter for one as powerful as I."
"What powers do you have, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, not really sure whether to believe Scott.
"Look around you." Scott said, his eyes widening slightly, a flame lit in them.
Xavier did so, and saw everyone but he had stopped completely, paused in whatever they were doing. Their eyes were the only things moving; otherwise they could have been mistaken for very realistic statues.
"W-what do you want, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, recognizing a telepath with power exponential to his.
"At the moment I am looking for a Remy Lebeau."
"Remy?? Why?"
"He is going to make an attempt on the life of the person my host loves. He has said so to my host, and I must make a judgement on him so Scott, my host, can be relieved of his concern over her."
"Jean?"
"Yes." Scott looked at Xavier. "Stop telling him to run away, Charles Xavier. Do you think a telepath of my ability cannot tell that you are attempting to shield this man?"
"He may have been joking, Phoenix Force," Xavier began, trying to extricate both him and Remy from this mess.
"That is not what Scott Summers believes." Scott said; he seemed to loom larger and flames danced around him. "And for his peace of mind, Remy Lebeau must be tried. and executed." He flew upwards, homing right to where Remy was trapped with Lance.
*-*
"Get your foot outta my face."
"Remy can't. Get your face outta my foot."
"I can't."
"Guess y'r stuck, then. Dat should teach y' not t' bamf away like a coward when y' should be fightin'."
"I swear, Lebeau, when get out of this, I'll-"
"Try an' say sumtin' every B-movie villain hasn't said since de invention of de tel'vis'n?"
"Grr."
"Hey, maybe y' could try one of dose t'ings, y' know, de dialogues Scooby Doo villains say, like, 'if it weren't f'r dat meddlin' kid', hein?"
"Mark my words, Lebeau, when we get out of this-"
"Aw come on, homme, jus' admit y' don't have any originality in y'."
"I do, too!" Lance said, in his pride forgetting he was talking to his greatest enemy since Scott Summers.
"No y' don'"
"I'll prove it."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Tell me, master of cool orig'nal'ty, what is a good pickup line?"
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, what original pickup line did y' come up wit'?
"That doesn't count, pickup lines don't count!"
"Oh, so y'r an unorig'nal lout who can't even get a date? Y'r sad, mes ami."
"I do have pickup lines!" Lance shouted, racking his brains to think of a single one.
"Remy would be happy t' hear an' compare, homme."
"Uh, um, here's one; 'hey baby, did it hurt?'"
"Dat's de line? Y'r a sad case, Alvers."
"No, idiot! The girl asks me what hurt. Come on, act the part of the girl."
"Tee hee, is big strong Mr Alvers is goin' t' try and gimme a pick up line?" Remy said, in his best squeaky, girly impersonation.
"Argh. Okay, anyway, hey baby, did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt, Mr hunky Alvers?" Remy said cheerfully, trying to shove his foot down Lance's throat. Sadly, he couldn't move.
"When you fell from heaven." Lance cried triumphantly.
Remy looked at him for a moment, and burst out laughing.
"Dat's y'r cool pick-up line? Cool original pick-up line? Remy saw dat on Jay Leno sometime ago. Ah, Lance, y' great horse's derrière, y' suck more than Remy thought y' could."
Lance's reply was cut off as Scott came crashing through the roof. There was fire dancing around him and flames burned in his eyes as well.
"Homme, y' okay?" Remy asked in surprise. His surprise turned to shock as Scott started speaking, in a voice deeper than usual.
"Remy Lebeau. You have confessed to attempting to kill the love of my host body. If you do that, a host as volatile as this one will kill himself, finishing the Phoenix Force, and therefore the universes as well. That cannot be allowed to happen, and so you must be.destroyed."
"Que? Scott, what de hell are y' playin' at?"
"I don't think he's playing," Lance said in a weak voice, Remy's foot in his face forgotten.
"Goodbye, Remy Lebeau. I do this for all life existing." Scott narrowed his eyes, about to begin to concentrate telepathically.
Suddenly, there was another shift in mutant powers. Remy, Scott and Lance crashed down on the roof as the Phoenix Force left Scott.
"Wha-?" Scott began weakly. Remy smacked the side of his head.
"Y' were 'bout t' kill me, in case y' didn' know. Y' ac'ually believed I'd kill Jean. Y'r brain's a bigger pile of crottes de buffle than his." Remy said, indicating an unconscious Lance, who they were both sitting on top of. "Now come on, we have t' get t' de monster an' fix dis mess."
*-*
"Okay, before we begin attempting to fix the power switching, could someone tell me where the Phoenix Force is?" Xavier asked, looking at the group of mutants clustered around the monster's body.
"I am here, Xavier." Kurt said, his voice deeper than usual. He also looked nothing like a teenager, although one wasn't sure exactly how he had changed. He continued talking in the same deep, slightly ethereal voice. "I can tell you I am having the most uncomfortable experience here, with all this body-switching nonsense going on."
"Could you tell us how to stop it, oh great Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked as humbly as he thought he could.
"Cease with the stupid humbleness, Xavier," the Phoenix Force said. "I know you are being humble only because I can kill you with half a thought. But I won't because killing you serves no purpose. I do know how to stop the body-switching, and I know it started because of that creature there."
"Will you help us?" Xavier asked, trying not to sound eager.
"No. Thanks to this switching, I have encountered the worst headache in my infinite existence. I have been in the body of a control-freak, who has the confidence of a castrated tortoise during mating season. A paranoid control-freak, I may add, who believes his friend will kill the woman he loves. Now I possess the body of someone with even less self-confidence, if that's possible, someone who still wets his bed." Kurt's cheeks coloured as he spoke, showing clearly in the absence of blue fur. He continued speaking however, clearly unable to stop himself. "I am tired of being jolted around from body to body. I am the Phoenix force, and I have better things to do." Kurt looked at Jean. "I came this time because you impressed me with your bravery, child. I will return when you impress me again, and when you are strong enough to fix your headaches yourself, in case you have one when I am in your body." Kurt's' body sagged, and there was an audible gasp of air as the Phoenix Force left his body. Suddenly, he was just simply Kurt Wagner, resident teleporter and bed-wetter, again.
"Now what?" Xavier asked, in his surprise forgetting he was the one who answered those types of questions.
*-*
Xavier looked at the mutants, noting that Mystique was still struggling slightly in Hank's grip. The Brotherhood, however, was behaving themselves, because they wanted their powers back. He waited until Hank karate chopped Mystique on her neck, rendering her unconscious, and smiled apologetically at him. He harrumphed.
"I have been in telepathic conversation with the monster-" he waited until the chorus of voices asking him whether the monster could think quieted down, and then resumed speaking. "And he will reverse the power switching, if we let him go away without trying to control him. Ever." The effect of glancing at Mystique to make sure she had heard was wasted, as she was knocked out. "So all the students can filter into the chamber I have arranged for this purpose, while we adults remain outside," there was a chorus of feet being dragged, and people talking. Annoyed, Xavier telepathically froze them.
*Let me finish,* He said, magnifying his voice in the teenagers' minds, but leaving it at a normal level in the adult's minds. *The monster has said that the keys must be destroyed before he will switch the powers back. Hank, if you would be as kind as to?*
"Yes, professor," Hank said. "There are advantages to having a size 42," He added as he took out both the keys and stomped them underfoot.
"Now you can go," Xavier said calmly. The teenagers filed out, some still holding their heads. The teachers followed, Hank easily carrying Mystique.
The teacher's progress was slowed by Xavier's wheelchair, so they had not quite gotten to where the monster was, when Toad came running back, Quicksilver's speed carrying him instantly to them.
"Themonsterescapedand-" he paused, looking at the confusion on their faces, and took a deep breath, stopping after every word to make it clearer to understand. "The. monster. has. escaped. after. Wagner. told. it. tele. pathic. ally. that. the. keys. were. destroyed. help. us."
"Why didn't you people wait?" Xavier asked angrily, trying to go faster. The other teachers had run past him. Toad walked at the speed Xavier's wheelchair was setting with visible effort.
"Sorry. impatient. Rogue. made. us. she. had. Freddy's. powers. she. was. fat."
"Wheel me, Todd." Xavier began, and found himself in the room where the switching was supposed to take place, staring at a gaping hole in the wall at the scene outside.
*-*
"Stay back, kids." Logan said, as he leapt at the monster, which was running away. He fit easily onto a shoulder. He started hacking at it, when he noticed Hank on the other shoulder, doing the same without claws. Hank stopped punching the monster, looked up and smiled, before looking down and resuming. Before Logan could make any of his typical nonchalant remarks, the monster was hit with ball-lightning on his torso. There was nothing nonchalant about the remark he made as the lightning narrowly missed his foot. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kitty grab her ears in horror.
"Stop!" Xavier ordered, as Toad wheeled him out onto the lawn, through the hole in the wall. Toad stopped. "Not you, Todd," Xavier said, irritated. "I was talking to my teachers." He telepathically froze everyone again, including the monster.
*Now, why did you run?* he asked the monster.
*You would hurt me.*
*Not if you fixed the power switching.*
*I have no trust in you humans.*
*Fix it and you will be taken wherever you want, and left there, and not bothered again.*
*No.*
*We outnumber you. Listen to me, and I will stop these people from hurting you.*
*No.*
*What will you lose?*
*What will I gain?*
*Freedom.*
*Hah.*
Xavier unfroze everyone except the monster, and rubbed his temples wearily. "He will not help us, people. Does anyone have any suggestions?"
"Control him mentally, and make him do it." Logan said.
"It goes against my ethics Logan; I have told you this before."
"Can I try to make him?" Kurt asked.
"I doubt Jean could make a good go of it Kurt, and you have had her powers for only some minutes."
During the conversation, Remy had walked up to the monster, who was eyeing him warily. Then he kicked him between the legs as hard as he could. The monster's eyes, the only part of him that could move, crossed in pain.
"Remy figured, even if y' don' have a mout', y' wouldn' be missin' dat part'cular piece of equipmen'. Now, do y' want Beast dere to do dis t' y' ev'ryday?" He said, indicating Hank, and taking satisfaction in noting how the monster's eyes travelled to Hank's huge feet.
Xavier's conversation with Kurt explaining why he couldn't try to mind control the monster was interrupted by a telepathic shout from the monster.
*I'll fix it!*
He smiled, and released the monster from his telepathic hold, motioning to the teachers to back away, out of the range of the monster.
The monster backed away from Remy, and made the same type of motion he had made in the mall. Remy felt the powers he had at the moment (Tabitha's) fade away, but he didn't feel his powers come back. He turned to where Jean was trying to get Scott to put on his visor.
"No Jean, wait a second, my powers haven't returned."
"Does anyone have any powers?" Xavier asked from the safety of the front porch. Everyone answered in the negative. He sent a one word long telepathic message to the monster.
*Explain.*
*The powers will come back eventually. Now you must let me go, as you promised.*
*Not until the powers return.*
*Tch, fine.* the monster said to Xavier, and swirled his hand. Xavier turned to the teenagers just in time to see Scott nearly blow Jean's head off with his optic blast.
*I'll have Logan drop you off in the X-Jet, monster. I'll come as well, so you can communicate with us.*
*Great. I have a relative in the Himalayas.*
*-*
Kurt walked through the corridor of the Xavier Institute. There was nothing to indicate that the day wouldn't be an ordinary day. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Over in the corner, Logan had grabbed Remy by his collar.
"If the professor hadn't warned us to let you people take a little time out after the power switching fiasco, I'd gut you fer takin' my beer again, Gumbo."
"Now suppose y' relax a bit, Logan." Remy said, as composedly as someone could when he was in danger of having his face mashed in
To his surprise, Logan felt himself calm down slightly. For a moment, it seemed Remy's empathy powers had saved him, but only for a moment.
Logan smiled. "I won't do anythin' to ya right now, but you can look forward to a month of extra danger room sessions alone with me." As Kurt rounded the corner, he could still hear Remy pleading with Logan:
"A mont'? Please, Log'n, jus' beat me up right now, please? Remy be fine right now. He c'n take a beatin'. C'mon, please?"
Shaking his head Kurt walked on. The ban on his bamfing was due to be lifted in the next few days, but Xavier had added the condition that he be fit enough to take part in danger room sessions, as well as the condition that he was never to bamf into the bathroom. His train of thought was broken by a very strange sight in front of him.
Kitty, Evan and Rogue were sitting down and quietly reading. Kurt closed his eyes, shook his head and opened them again, but the three remained sitting and reading, so it was not an apparition. He checked the books; Kitty wasn't reading a fashion magazine, Evan wasn't reading comics, Rogue wasn't reading, well, whatever the heck it was that she read. Murder mysteries, probably. They were all reading classics.
Evan looked up at him, and said in a spooky voice, "You have reached a paranormal universe, where strange things happen all the time. The Evan of this universe likes to read-" He glanced down at the book- "Wuthering Heights."
"You're pulling my leg, P-porcupine." Kurt said, nervously hoping that they were pulling his leg.
"Like, is that what you, like, really think?" Rogue said.
"Wahy da ya'll thaynk way're puhllin' yawr laygh?" Kitty asked. Kurt stared in horror for a second, before he bamfed away.
Evan, Kitty and Rogue tossed aside the classics as soon as he had disappeared.
"Wuthering Heights. Ick." Evan said.
"Wasn't thayt accent overdone, dahlin'?" Rogue asked Kitty with feigned sweetness.
"Not more than your shoving like, two hundred likes into one sentence."
"Ladies, please. I'm reading Batman here. And remember, if Kurt comes again, we have to look like we're wondering how these comics an' all came into our hands."
They quieted down and resumed reading, Evan reading Batman, Kitty reading Seventeen, and Rogue reading a paperback romance. Evan stopped reading long enough to glance over the top of his comic book at Rogue. She noticed, and smiled sweetly again.
"Got a death wish, Porky?"
"G-got it Rogue, I never saw you reading Mills & Boon's. Is that fine?"
"Perfect, shugah."
They sat reading. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Or at least as close to normal as they ever came.
*-*
At the Brotherhood's place, things were normal as well. Freddy sat on a sofa scratching his head and wondering how the can of dog food was opened. Finally he managed to figure out how to use a can opener. Lance was sitting on a chair opposite him, watching television. He took out some dog food and gave it to Lance. Lance muttered thanks, and took a spoonful, his eyes still on the TV. Suddenly, there was a tremor as he spat out the dog food.
"What the hell was that?" Lance demanded angrily.
"Dog food."
Lance jumped at Freddy as the building seemed to spasm.
Elsewhere, Tabitha was motioning with a broom for Todd to come down off her cupboard.
"I told you to remove the fly dispenser from my room."
"Flytrap."
"I don't care. Now come down and get what you deserve."
"No I won't. At least up here you won't hit me 'cause you don't wanna bust your room."
Tabitha, however, was in no mood to be forgiving. She readied a bomb.
*-*
Remy watched Kurt taking the extra danger room sessions he had lost in the bet made in the rec room. Scott was the only person there with him. He watched with his eyes half open, as Scott narrowly missed Kurt with his visors four consecutive times. Kurt was getting killed down there. Remy smiled. He was going to even the odds a little. He pressed a few buttons.
*-*
Scott had just missed Kurt with an optic beam when he noticed a monkey coming towards him. The monkey was dressed in a tricone hat with the skull and crossbones on it, an eyepatch, peg leg and a hook. A parrot perched on his shoulder.
"Who the hell is this? Apebeard? What's going on?" He looked at Remy waving to him from the control centre long enough for the parrot to come flying and bite his nose. Kurt bamfed behind him and kicked him into the path of the pirate monkey, who gave him a matrix style kick.
The monkey disappeared as the simulation ended with Kurt being declared the winner. Remy walked into the danger room in time to see Scott lying on the ground, with Kurt looking down in concern at him, and in time to hear Scott say, in a very wobbly voice,
"I think my ankle is twisted. When I get alright, I'm going to kill Remy for putting the monkey in here, and then I'm going to kill Dr. McCoy for giving anyone the option of putting pirate monkeys in a simulation. What the hell? Pirate monkeys? Was he drunk?"
Kurt looked up to see Remy standing there.
"Ah, if you want you can kill Remy now. But I think you should have him take you to Dr McCoy for checking first. Maybe you can kill both of them together. Anyway, I have to go now,"
"Kurt, wait." Scott began.
"Bye." Kurt said, and disappeared with a loud bamf.
".Bamf me to Dr." Scott looked around and noticed Kurt was missing. ".McCoy. Damn Elf." He looked at Remy, who was starting to walk away. "Aren't you going to help me?"
"Naw, Remy t'ink he done 'is part." His walk to the door was interrupted by an optic beam skirting his legs and slamming into the entrance.
"You can try to dodge beams till you run out the door, or you can help me," Scott said, his tone glacial ice.
"Remy t'ink he c'n spare some time t' help 'is leader."
"Good for Remy."
*-*
"De monkey was a t'ank y' from me," Remy said, as he helped Scott to the basement, where Hank McCoy operated a makeshift infirmary.
"Remind me not to do anything deserving your thanks again," Scott said, negotiating a particularly warped stair. "What did I do to deserve your thanks anyway?"
"Y' telepathically shielded me an' Rogue dat night. Y' might as well 'ave set up a neon sign sayin' 'guess w'at's goin' on in dis here room!'"
"I'm sorry, Remy. I was only trying to help."
"Aw, it's okay. Xavier was pretty understanding about it anyway. It's good t' get t' know how far y' can go wit' a superior."
"Oh? How far would you go with me?"
"Y'? Superior? Remy'd go far enough t' throw y' down de stairs righ' now, dat's how far he'd go."
"I take it you think you're better than me."
"Dere's a diff'rence between thinkin' and knowin', mon ami."
"There is, isn't there?" Scott asked as he straightened up at the foot of the stairs, and walked normally to the door, with no trace of the limp he had shown earlier. At the door he turned and smiled at a shocked Remy. "I can take care of myself now. Thanks for half-carrying me from the danger room, Remy. I don't think I could have made it on my own." He disappeared inside the door.
*-*
Xavier smiled as he heard the conversation between Remy and Scott. Behind him, Logan stood, his expression showing he would rather be doing something more exciting. Like peeling lemons and sucking them, for instance.
"What did you call me here for, professor?" He asked for the umpteenth time.
"To discuss the monster incident with you."
"I get a headache every time I try. It's not something I want to pound out theories about. Tell me one thing though, professor, what good came of this whole fiasco?"
"Well, that is a question not easily answered, but I can tell you that Jean is acting a little less pretentiously-"
"Snottily?"
".yes. After she took on Freddy Dukes powers, I think she realised that there are people unlike her, who cannot be perfect in anything they try. It should help her a great deal."
"Anythin' else?"
"Well, Remy has fit in more with our other teenagers than he did before."
"Talk is, he did our resident goth in the past couple o' days."
"Did?...oh. yes. He did do Rogue as you put it, in all crassness, but I think it is-"
"Go Gumbo."
".Justifiable." Xavier looked at Logan in surprise. "You don't mind this happening on the premises?"
"Nah, I don't. I figured you would be upset enough for both of us. Personally, I'm happy 'cause I always thought Gumbo swung the other way, if you know what I mean."
"I regret to say that I do know what you mean. It was also good for Rogue, poor child."
"Yeah. She probably wanted him to take her powers permanently."
"Hm. Yes."
"Did any other good thing come out of it?"
"Well, we discovered that our field leader has a sense of humour."
"Is that what you were laughing about right now?"
"Yes, it was. He also has more self confidence in himself."
"So does that mean he won't kill himself if someone, say Kitty, gets mumps tomorrow?"
"That is to be hoped for, Logan."
*-*
"In your eyes I see a fire that burns to free
the you, that's running through,"
And that is the last quote, from 'Devil's Dance' by Metallica. I hope people had as much fun reading this fic as I did writing it.
Chapter Eight: Terminer (Finish)
The Brotherhood arrived at the mansion to see that the defences were all inactive. It seemed to make their job easier, but most of them did not need Mystique to tell them that it was a trap. The gates swung open as they drove. They were expected.
"Be careful," Mystique said, "It's a trap, so be alert. Get to your positions ASAP. Lance, bamf to the balcony, and radio the X-men's positions from there. Tabitha, phase from the side door, into the kitchen. They'll never expect you coming from there."
"Not even with two telepaths?" Tabitha asked, her voice dripping sarcasm.
"Oh, Goddamn. I forgot about that. How come Xavier never shuts our brains off, or makes us think we're good guys?"
"That would make for a very short series."
"Oh, of course, right. Well, then just assault. It's kind of useless trying to surprise someone who is reading our minds at this very moment." Lance and Tabitha nodded, and got to their positions, Lance disappearing with a choking stench, and Tabitha phasing through the car door.
*-*
Lance bamfed to the balcony. He looked inside, noting the positions of the X-men. He started to radio Mystique, and then noticed a familiar reek he hadn't smelt for a few days. He turned to see Evan standing there.
"Hello," Evan said, then suddenly extended his tongue, catching Lance's radio, and flicking it down into the garden. "Eeyuck!" he added, "that felt soo gross, knowing that's what Toad does with flies." Then he charged Lance. Lance knew he would be at a disadvantage, because Evan had Todd's powerful legs and tongue, and heightened reflexes, so he bamfed without any especial thought as to where he was going.
*-*
The room Lance bamfed into was definitely a girls'. His eyes travelled over the rows and rows of beauty products, taking in the neat order of things; shampoos on one side, conditioners next to them, then moisturizing creams. he paused. They were all in alphabetical order! He didn't have to see the name written in pink on the walls to know whose room this was.
"Okay," he muttered to himself, looking at a map of the mansion, "Jean's room is right above the war room. I can bamf down there and get them from behind." Taking a final look around the room (and adding "eeyuck!" under his breath,) he bamfed to the floor below.
*-*
Lance opened the door of the unoccupied war room to see the usual chaos that took place in a Brotherhood-X men fight.
He could see Pietro and Kitty fighting outside, Pietro -looking woozy from having Freddy absorb his powers- with Tabitha's bombs, and Kitty with Lebeau's charged cards. Inside he noticed Xavier grabbing his head and saying "The rose bushes! The marble floor! The wallpaper! All ruined! Oh, why did I have to have ethics?" When he wasn't moaning about the mansion, he was trying to encourage his students, but was taking no especial part in the fight.
Freddy was spewing out bombs as well, and trying to touch anyone who came near. Wagner was standing a few metres away, and trying to create a localised earthquake. Lance sneered. He was even worse at making earthquakes than Summers was.
He noticed Tabitha phase through the floor as Rogue tried to hit her with Evan's spikes. He saw Jean, hiding in a corner, all puffed up. There was no sign of Summers, or Lebeau, which was really strange. Another strange thing was that none of the teachers were taking part in the fight for some reason. Probably because of the abstract concept called 'fairness'.
He wanted to take part in the fight, but with Wagner's powers, he was pretty useless, so he did what they had come to do; find the monster. He bamfed away, aiming for the basement.
*-*
Remy arrived at the mansion well ahead of Scott, who seemed to have lost all focus as he flew on, and was jerking about in midair. He ran in before anyone noticed him, and took in the whole situation in a heartbeat. He figured he had to get to the monster, as at least one of the Brotherhood would try to wake it again.
"Oh good Remy, you've arrived. Do you know where Scott-" Xavier broke off, realising Remy was no longer there. He huffily slumped in his chair, arms folded, waiting for his students to convince the Brotherhood to stop fighting. However that didn't seem to be happening any time soon. The fights had not lessened in intensity by the time Scott arrived, minutes later.
*-*
The basement was colder then he remembered it. Colder, and darker as well. The smell of brimstone hit his nostrils, telling him he was not alone. Some Brotherhood mutant was down there with him. He was pretty sure he could handle all of them one-on-one, but he would get really irritated if this particular mutant was-
"So Lebeau, we meet again,"
-Lance Alvers. Argh.
Why God, why?
"I remember what you did, all the way back when, at the dike. We have to become even."
Why did it have to be Lance Alvers down here?
"If you let me kick you, I won't embarrass you in any other way, like I will have to, if we fight."
Jesus H. Christ! Why?
"What do you say, Lebeau?"
Why couldn't it be the Blob? Yes, he would be harder to fight, but he was as articulate as a cow.
"Will you say something??"
"Non." Remy sped towards him and gave a sweeping kick, taking out Lance's legs from under him before he realised what was happening. Lance then bamfed, but by that time, Remy had grabbed Lance's leg, and had his other foot arcing towards Lance's face. That was why they both bamfed together, with Remy' foot inches from Lance's face. They appeared a few feet above the roof, and Remy's foot had made the slightest contact with Lance's mouth, when everything simply stopped. They were left suspended in midair, unable to move anything except their eyes and their mouths. They looked at each other, and despite Remy's foot touching Lance's face, and their past differences, they were united in sharing the feeling that something bad was about to happen to them.
*-*
The students were fighting when Scott came in. The teachers looked at him in surprise as he floated forward.
"Where is he?" Scott said, but in a voice other that his own; it was deeper, and somehow, it was grander as well. It seemed to reverberate around the room.
"Where is who, Scott?" Xavier asked, unsure of how to deal with this new Scott.
"Scott is not here. I am using this body as a vessel." Scott paused, and fire seemed to come out of his eyes. "I am the Phoenix Force."
Scott continued talking in that deep voice in the stunned silence that followed.
"I, the Phoenix Force, am the sum of all things that have ever lived, and will ever live, in this galaxy, and other galaxies, in this reality and other realities. I came to this world and this reality, because I had found the perfect receptacle for my essence. Her name was Jean Grey." Scott's face grew confused as he continued talking, "However, when I arrived here, I found that the girl Jean Grey did not have the powers I required to make the transfer of my essence a favourable one. However, there was this person, Scott Summers, who did. I therefore transferred my essence into him. It was really strange at first, because I was expecting menstrual problems, and here I have testosterone imbalance. However, that is only a minor matter for one as powerful as I."
"What powers do you have, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, not really sure whether to believe Scott.
"Look around you." Scott said, his eyes widening slightly, a flame lit in them.
Xavier did so, and saw everyone but he had stopped completely, paused in whatever they were doing. Their eyes were the only things moving; otherwise they could have been mistaken for very realistic statues.
"W-what do you want, Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked, recognizing a telepath with power exponential to his.
"At the moment I am looking for a Remy Lebeau."
"Remy?? Why?"
"He is going to make an attempt on the life of the person my host loves. He has said so to my host, and I must make a judgement on him so Scott, my host, can be relieved of his concern over her."
"Jean?"
"Yes." Scott looked at Xavier. "Stop telling him to run away, Charles Xavier. Do you think a telepath of my ability cannot tell that you are attempting to shield this man?"
"He may have been joking, Phoenix Force," Xavier began, trying to extricate both him and Remy from this mess.
"That is not what Scott Summers believes." Scott said; he seemed to loom larger and flames danced around him. "And for his peace of mind, Remy Lebeau must be tried. and executed." He flew upwards, homing right to where Remy was trapped with Lance.
*-*
"Get your foot outta my face."
"Remy can't. Get your face outta my foot."
"I can't."
"Guess y'r stuck, then. Dat should teach y' not t' bamf away like a coward when y' should be fightin'."
"I swear, Lebeau, when get out of this, I'll-"
"Try an' say sumtin' every B-movie villain hasn't said since de invention of de tel'vis'n?"
"Grr."
"Hey, maybe y' could try one of dose t'ings, y' know, de dialogues Scooby Doo villains say, like, 'if it weren't f'r dat meddlin' kid', hein?"
"Mark my words, Lebeau, when we get out of this-"
"Aw come on, homme, jus' admit y' don't have any originality in y'."
"I do, too!" Lance said, in his pride forgetting he was talking to his greatest enemy since Scott Summers.
"No y' don'"
"I'll prove it."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Tell me, master of cool orig'nal'ty, what is a good pickup line?"
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, what original pickup line did y' come up wit'?
"That doesn't count, pickup lines don't count!"
"Oh, so y'r an unorig'nal lout who can't even get a date? Y'r sad, mes ami."
"I do have pickup lines!" Lance shouted, racking his brains to think of a single one.
"Remy would be happy t' hear an' compare, homme."
"Uh, um, here's one; 'hey baby, did it hurt?'"
"Dat's de line? Y'r a sad case, Alvers."
"No, idiot! The girl asks me what hurt. Come on, act the part of the girl."
"Tee hee, is big strong Mr Alvers is goin' t' try and gimme a pick up line?" Remy said, in his best squeaky, girly impersonation.
"Argh. Okay, anyway, hey baby, did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt, Mr hunky Alvers?" Remy said cheerfully, trying to shove his foot down Lance's throat. Sadly, he couldn't move.
"When you fell from heaven." Lance cried triumphantly.
Remy looked at him for a moment, and burst out laughing.
"Dat's y'r cool pick-up line? Cool original pick-up line? Remy saw dat on Jay Leno sometime ago. Ah, Lance, y' great horse's derrière, y' suck more than Remy thought y' could."
Lance's reply was cut off as Scott came crashing through the roof. There was fire dancing around him and flames burned in his eyes as well.
"Homme, y' okay?" Remy asked in surprise. His surprise turned to shock as Scott started speaking, in a voice deeper than usual.
"Remy Lebeau. You have confessed to attempting to kill the love of my host body. If you do that, a host as volatile as this one will kill himself, finishing the Phoenix Force, and therefore the universes as well. That cannot be allowed to happen, and so you must be.destroyed."
"Que? Scott, what de hell are y' playin' at?"
"I don't think he's playing," Lance said in a weak voice, Remy's foot in his face forgotten.
"Goodbye, Remy Lebeau. I do this for all life existing." Scott narrowed his eyes, about to begin to concentrate telepathically.
Suddenly, there was another shift in mutant powers. Remy, Scott and Lance crashed down on the roof as the Phoenix Force left Scott.
"Wha-?" Scott began weakly. Remy smacked the side of his head.
"Y' were 'bout t' kill me, in case y' didn' know. Y' ac'ually believed I'd kill Jean. Y'r brain's a bigger pile of crottes de buffle than his." Remy said, indicating an unconscious Lance, who they were both sitting on top of. "Now come on, we have t' get t' de monster an' fix dis mess."
*-*
"Okay, before we begin attempting to fix the power switching, could someone tell me where the Phoenix Force is?" Xavier asked, looking at the group of mutants clustered around the monster's body.
"I am here, Xavier." Kurt said, his voice deeper than usual. He also looked nothing like a teenager, although one wasn't sure exactly how he had changed. He continued talking in the same deep, slightly ethereal voice. "I can tell you I am having the most uncomfortable experience here, with all this body-switching nonsense going on."
"Could you tell us how to stop it, oh great Phoenix Force?" Xavier asked as humbly as he thought he could.
"Cease with the stupid humbleness, Xavier," the Phoenix Force said. "I know you are being humble only because I can kill you with half a thought. But I won't because killing you serves no purpose. I do know how to stop the body-switching, and I know it started because of that creature there."
"Will you help us?" Xavier asked, trying not to sound eager.
"No. Thanks to this switching, I have encountered the worst headache in my infinite existence. I have been in the body of a control-freak, who has the confidence of a castrated tortoise during mating season. A paranoid control-freak, I may add, who believes his friend will kill the woman he loves. Now I possess the body of someone with even less self-confidence, if that's possible, someone who still wets his bed." Kurt's cheeks coloured as he spoke, showing clearly in the absence of blue fur. He continued speaking however, clearly unable to stop himself. "I am tired of being jolted around from body to body. I am the Phoenix force, and I have better things to do." Kurt looked at Jean. "I came this time because you impressed me with your bravery, child. I will return when you impress me again, and when you are strong enough to fix your headaches yourself, in case you have one when I am in your body." Kurt's' body sagged, and there was an audible gasp of air as the Phoenix Force left his body. Suddenly, he was just simply Kurt Wagner, resident teleporter and bed-wetter, again.
"Now what?" Xavier asked, in his surprise forgetting he was the one who answered those types of questions.
*-*
Xavier looked at the mutants, noting that Mystique was still struggling slightly in Hank's grip. The Brotherhood, however, was behaving themselves, because they wanted their powers back. He waited until Hank karate chopped Mystique on her neck, rendering her unconscious, and smiled apologetically at him. He harrumphed.
"I have been in telepathic conversation with the monster-" he waited until the chorus of voices asking him whether the monster could think quieted down, and then resumed speaking. "And he will reverse the power switching, if we let him go away without trying to control him. Ever." The effect of glancing at Mystique to make sure she had heard was wasted, as she was knocked out. "So all the students can filter into the chamber I have arranged for this purpose, while we adults remain outside," there was a chorus of feet being dragged, and people talking. Annoyed, Xavier telepathically froze them.
*Let me finish,* He said, magnifying his voice in the teenagers' minds, but leaving it at a normal level in the adult's minds. *The monster has said that the keys must be destroyed before he will switch the powers back. Hank, if you would be as kind as to?*
"Yes, professor," Hank said. "There are advantages to having a size 42," He added as he took out both the keys and stomped them underfoot.
"Now you can go," Xavier said calmly. The teenagers filed out, some still holding their heads. The teachers followed, Hank easily carrying Mystique.
The teacher's progress was slowed by Xavier's wheelchair, so they had not quite gotten to where the monster was, when Toad came running back, Quicksilver's speed carrying him instantly to them.
"Themonsterescapedand-" he paused, looking at the confusion on their faces, and took a deep breath, stopping after every word to make it clearer to understand. "The. monster. has. escaped. after. Wagner. told. it. tele. pathic. ally. that. the. keys. were. destroyed. help. us."
"Why didn't you people wait?" Xavier asked angrily, trying to go faster. The other teachers had run past him. Toad walked at the speed Xavier's wheelchair was setting with visible effort.
"Sorry. impatient. Rogue. made. us. she. had. Freddy's. powers. she. was. fat."
"Wheel me, Todd." Xavier began, and found himself in the room where the switching was supposed to take place, staring at a gaping hole in the wall at the scene outside.
*-*
"Stay back, kids." Logan said, as he leapt at the monster, which was running away. He fit easily onto a shoulder. He started hacking at it, when he noticed Hank on the other shoulder, doing the same without claws. Hank stopped punching the monster, looked up and smiled, before looking down and resuming. Before Logan could make any of his typical nonchalant remarks, the monster was hit with ball-lightning on his torso. There was nothing nonchalant about the remark he made as the lightning narrowly missed his foot. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kitty grab her ears in horror.
"Stop!" Xavier ordered, as Toad wheeled him out onto the lawn, through the hole in the wall. Toad stopped. "Not you, Todd," Xavier said, irritated. "I was talking to my teachers." He telepathically froze everyone again, including the monster.
*Now, why did you run?* he asked the monster.
*You would hurt me.*
*Not if you fixed the power switching.*
*I have no trust in you humans.*
*Fix it and you will be taken wherever you want, and left there, and not bothered again.*
*No.*
*We outnumber you. Listen to me, and I will stop these people from hurting you.*
*No.*
*What will you lose?*
*What will I gain?*
*Freedom.*
*Hah.*
Xavier unfroze everyone except the monster, and rubbed his temples wearily. "He will not help us, people. Does anyone have any suggestions?"
"Control him mentally, and make him do it." Logan said.
"It goes against my ethics Logan; I have told you this before."
"Can I try to make him?" Kurt asked.
"I doubt Jean could make a good go of it Kurt, and you have had her powers for only some minutes."
During the conversation, Remy had walked up to the monster, who was eyeing him warily. Then he kicked him between the legs as hard as he could. The monster's eyes, the only part of him that could move, crossed in pain.
"Remy figured, even if y' don' have a mout', y' wouldn' be missin' dat part'cular piece of equipmen'. Now, do y' want Beast dere to do dis t' y' ev'ryday?" He said, indicating Hank, and taking satisfaction in noting how the monster's eyes travelled to Hank's huge feet.
Xavier's conversation with Kurt explaining why he couldn't try to mind control the monster was interrupted by a telepathic shout from the monster.
*I'll fix it!*
He smiled, and released the monster from his telepathic hold, motioning to the teachers to back away, out of the range of the monster.
The monster backed away from Remy, and made the same type of motion he had made in the mall. Remy felt the powers he had at the moment (Tabitha's) fade away, but he didn't feel his powers come back. He turned to where Jean was trying to get Scott to put on his visor.
"No Jean, wait a second, my powers haven't returned."
"Does anyone have any powers?" Xavier asked from the safety of the front porch. Everyone answered in the negative. He sent a one word long telepathic message to the monster.
*Explain.*
*The powers will come back eventually. Now you must let me go, as you promised.*
*Not until the powers return.*
*Tch, fine.* the monster said to Xavier, and swirled his hand. Xavier turned to the teenagers just in time to see Scott nearly blow Jean's head off with his optic blast.
*I'll have Logan drop you off in the X-Jet, monster. I'll come as well, so you can communicate with us.*
*Great. I have a relative in the Himalayas.*
*-*
Kurt walked through the corridor of the Xavier Institute. There was nothing to indicate that the day wouldn't be an ordinary day. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Over in the corner, Logan had grabbed Remy by his collar.
"If the professor hadn't warned us to let you people take a little time out after the power switching fiasco, I'd gut you fer takin' my beer again, Gumbo."
"Now suppose y' relax a bit, Logan." Remy said, as composedly as someone could when he was in danger of having his face mashed in
To his surprise, Logan felt himself calm down slightly. For a moment, it seemed Remy's empathy powers had saved him, but only for a moment.
Logan smiled. "I won't do anythin' to ya right now, but you can look forward to a month of extra danger room sessions alone with me." As Kurt rounded the corner, he could still hear Remy pleading with Logan:
"A mont'? Please, Log'n, jus' beat me up right now, please? Remy be fine right now. He c'n take a beatin'. C'mon, please?"
Shaking his head Kurt walked on. The ban on his bamfing was due to be lifted in the next few days, but Xavier had added the condition that he be fit enough to take part in danger room sessions, as well as the condition that he was never to bamf into the bathroom. His train of thought was broken by a very strange sight in front of him.
Kitty, Evan and Rogue were sitting down and quietly reading. Kurt closed his eyes, shook his head and opened them again, but the three remained sitting and reading, so it was not an apparition. He checked the books; Kitty wasn't reading a fashion magazine, Evan wasn't reading comics, Rogue wasn't reading, well, whatever the heck it was that she read. Murder mysteries, probably. They were all reading classics.
Evan looked up at him, and said in a spooky voice, "You have reached a paranormal universe, where strange things happen all the time. The Evan of this universe likes to read-" He glanced down at the book- "Wuthering Heights."
"You're pulling my leg, P-porcupine." Kurt said, nervously hoping that they were pulling his leg.
"Like, is that what you, like, really think?" Rogue said.
"Wahy da ya'll thaynk way're puhllin' yawr laygh?" Kitty asked. Kurt stared in horror for a second, before he bamfed away.
Evan, Kitty and Rogue tossed aside the classics as soon as he had disappeared.
"Wuthering Heights. Ick." Evan said.
"Wasn't thayt accent overdone, dahlin'?" Rogue asked Kitty with feigned sweetness.
"Not more than your shoving like, two hundred likes into one sentence."
"Ladies, please. I'm reading Batman here. And remember, if Kurt comes again, we have to look like we're wondering how these comics an' all came into our hands."
They quieted down and resumed reading, Evan reading Batman, Kitty reading Seventeen, and Rogue reading a paperback romance. Evan stopped reading long enough to glance over the top of his comic book at Rogue. She noticed, and smiled sweetly again.
"Got a death wish, Porky?"
"G-got it Rogue, I never saw you reading Mills & Boon's. Is that fine?"
"Perfect, shugah."
They sat reading. All over the Xavier institute, things were perfectly normal. Or at least as close to normal as they ever came.
*-*
At the Brotherhood's place, things were normal as well. Freddy sat on a sofa scratching his head and wondering how the can of dog food was opened. Finally he managed to figure out how to use a can opener. Lance was sitting on a chair opposite him, watching television. He took out some dog food and gave it to Lance. Lance muttered thanks, and took a spoonful, his eyes still on the TV. Suddenly, there was a tremor as he spat out the dog food.
"What the hell was that?" Lance demanded angrily.
"Dog food."
Lance jumped at Freddy as the building seemed to spasm.
Elsewhere, Tabitha was motioning with a broom for Todd to come down off her cupboard.
"I told you to remove the fly dispenser from my room."
"Flytrap."
"I don't care. Now come down and get what you deserve."
"No I won't. At least up here you won't hit me 'cause you don't wanna bust your room."
Tabitha, however, was in no mood to be forgiving. She readied a bomb.
*-*
Remy watched Kurt taking the extra danger room sessions he had lost in the bet made in the rec room. Scott was the only person there with him. He watched with his eyes half open, as Scott narrowly missed Kurt with his visors four consecutive times. Kurt was getting killed down there. Remy smiled. He was going to even the odds a little. He pressed a few buttons.
*-*
Scott had just missed Kurt with an optic beam when he noticed a monkey coming towards him. The monkey was dressed in a tricone hat with the skull and crossbones on it, an eyepatch, peg leg and a hook. A parrot perched on his shoulder.
"Who the hell is this? Apebeard? What's going on?" He looked at Remy waving to him from the control centre long enough for the parrot to come flying and bite his nose. Kurt bamfed behind him and kicked him into the path of the pirate monkey, who gave him a matrix style kick.
The monkey disappeared as the simulation ended with Kurt being declared the winner. Remy walked into the danger room in time to see Scott lying on the ground, with Kurt looking down in concern at him, and in time to hear Scott say, in a very wobbly voice,
"I think my ankle is twisted. When I get alright, I'm going to kill Remy for putting the monkey in here, and then I'm going to kill Dr. McCoy for giving anyone the option of putting pirate monkeys in a simulation. What the hell? Pirate monkeys? Was he drunk?"
Kurt looked up to see Remy standing there.
"Ah, if you want you can kill Remy now. But I think you should have him take you to Dr McCoy for checking first. Maybe you can kill both of them together. Anyway, I have to go now,"
"Kurt, wait." Scott began.
"Bye." Kurt said, and disappeared with a loud bamf.
".Bamf me to Dr." Scott looked around and noticed Kurt was missing. ".McCoy. Damn Elf." He looked at Remy, who was starting to walk away. "Aren't you going to help me?"
"Naw, Remy t'ink he done 'is part." His walk to the door was interrupted by an optic beam skirting his legs and slamming into the entrance.
"You can try to dodge beams till you run out the door, or you can help me," Scott said, his tone glacial ice.
"Remy t'ink he c'n spare some time t' help 'is leader."
"Good for Remy."
*-*
"De monkey was a t'ank y' from me," Remy said, as he helped Scott to the basement, where Hank McCoy operated a makeshift infirmary.
"Remind me not to do anything deserving your thanks again," Scott said, negotiating a particularly warped stair. "What did I do to deserve your thanks anyway?"
"Y' telepathically shielded me an' Rogue dat night. Y' might as well 'ave set up a neon sign sayin' 'guess w'at's goin' on in dis here room!'"
"I'm sorry, Remy. I was only trying to help."
"Aw, it's okay. Xavier was pretty understanding about it anyway. It's good t' get t' know how far y' can go wit' a superior."
"Oh? How far would you go with me?"
"Y'? Superior? Remy'd go far enough t' throw y' down de stairs righ' now, dat's how far he'd go."
"I take it you think you're better than me."
"Dere's a diff'rence between thinkin' and knowin', mon ami."
"There is, isn't there?" Scott asked as he straightened up at the foot of the stairs, and walked normally to the door, with no trace of the limp he had shown earlier. At the door he turned and smiled at a shocked Remy. "I can take care of myself now. Thanks for half-carrying me from the danger room, Remy. I don't think I could have made it on my own." He disappeared inside the door.
*-*
Xavier smiled as he heard the conversation between Remy and Scott. Behind him, Logan stood, his expression showing he would rather be doing something more exciting. Like peeling lemons and sucking them, for instance.
"What did you call me here for, professor?" He asked for the umpteenth time.
"To discuss the monster incident with you."
"I get a headache every time I try. It's not something I want to pound out theories about. Tell me one thing though, professor, what good came of this whole fiasco?"
"Well, that is a question not easily answered, but I can tell you that Jean is acting a little less pretentiously-"
"Snottily?"
".yes. After she took on Freddy Dukes powers, I think she realised that there are people unlike her, who cannot be perfect in anything they try. It should help her a great deal."
"Anythin' else?"
"Well, Remy has fit in more with our other teenagers than he did before."
"Talk is, he did our resident goth in the past couple o' days."
"Did?...oh. yes. He did do Rogue as you put it, in all crassness, but I think it is-"
"Go Gumbo."
".Justifiable." Xavier looked at Logan in surprise. "You don't mind this happening on the premises?"
"Nah, I don't. I figured you would be upset enough for both of us. Personally, I'm happy 'cause I always thought Gumbo swung the other way, if you know what I mean."
"I regret to say that I do know what you mean. It was also good for Rogue, poor child."
"Yeah. She probably wanted him to take her powers permanently."
"Hm. Yes."
"Did any other good thing come out of it?"
"Well, we discovered that our field leader has a sense of humour."
"Is that what you were laughing about right now?"
"Yes, it was. He also has more self confidence in himself."
"So does that mean he won't kill himself if someone, say Kitty, gets mumps tomorrow?"
"That is to be hoped for, Logan."
*-*
