The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith

By Aiwendil Greenleaf

Disclaimer: Keep it real!!! Sorry, I just watched Ali G In da house... Everything you think might just belong to Tolkien, pretty much does. Just wager on that.

~*~A/N: OHMYGOD!!!! I go to my stats, and I'm on 6 people's favourites Lists. *Does Snoopy dance* HALLELUJA, I'm so happy!!! Thanks.

Dear Reviewers (I'll just put all in here...):

~ HoL: Yeah, I know. Damn that Figwit's sinister attraction... And Thanks.

~ manx: You think. I didn't like movie-Faramir either, people who haven't read the book, will think he's evil... Hey look, I'm updating again.

~ DeeSarrachi: You Bitch!!! I've been trying to get Pearl out from the drain for three hours now, and it won't work. And like that wasn't bad enough, some hobbit is biting my ankle!!! ~.^ So, I'm so happy I inspired you, I didn't really think I was the inspiring-type... And, on your fav. List too. *Gives you a giant hug* THANK YOU!!!

Quenn of Slash: I know, I know. I kinda think so too, and I wanted slash in this story (I'm a big slash fan, I just haven't collected enough courage to try writing it), so I have Frodo/Sam (will have).

spritejessa: Thank you, thank you thank you *blushed bright red* I'm really not that good... On your favourite list, I see, THANKS, really thousand kisses.

Riders of Rohan (Jess): Oh God, I screamed at this. Ever since I started writing, I've dreamed about getting a review from one of the Breegirls crew- members (I'm a HUGE fan here), and now it's here. And I'm on you guy's fav. Lists, BOTH!!! I feel like crying of happiness. Thank you so much, I'm so flattered you liked my writing. *Faint in sobs of joy* Okay, I'm over reacting, I need professional help... Or they'll send my to Wormtongue *Shudders* He has cool eyes though. Ew, I'm speaking good about Wormtongue's looks. I must be shot...

But anyways, here we go:

(And chapter not checked for typoes, sorry... V. Little time today)

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Dain house was having Geometry with Morie house, first class Thursday morning. They had most classes together, Mellon then had theirs for themselves. ("Bloody small people" as Aragorn oh-so intelligently had put it) But to Nef's big surprise, Geometry could be worse then she had ever expected it to be...

"Why the hell didn't you tell me??" Nef growled in Legolas' ear.

Legs shrugged apologetically, "Let's say, we were keeping the worst facts from you, sparing you..." Aragorn nodded in agreement. Even Boromir (seated on the other side of the horseshoe the tables was placed in) seemed to think the same.

"The shortest distance between two points, is a straight line," Sauron declared, and a piece of chalk wrote it on the blackboard, making a horrid sound. All students cowered their ears, witch made Sauron glow dangerously.

"How the hell did he become Geometry teacher??" Figwit hissed. Nef leaned over the table to get a look at him. He was seated next to (happy-stoned-) Haldir, who was finding it extremely amusing to throw a pencil into the air. Actually Dimwit, ups Figwit, wasn't that bad after all. He did have nice eyes...

"He can make perfect circles," Elrohir suggested.

"That's about it..." Aragorn ended with a small smile on his lips.

"SILENCE!!!"

The whole class jumped from their seats (half probably just waking up). The five talkers lifted their eyes slowly (Haldir just giggled drunkenly), and Nef cringed at the look on Sauron's face. The 'You-Will-Burn-In-Hell-For- This - look.

"Anìron, Greenleaf, Monië, son of Arathorn, Half-Elven and..." Sauron looked annoyed and waved his hand at Haldir, "Detention after dinner."

Legolas groaned, and Elrohir pouted. Sauron's smile grew even more evil, "With Professor Bombadil!!"

Legs gasped, Aragorn's face twisted into a mask of horror, and even Haldir looked like he might pass out. Figwit became very pale (Haldir must've told him a few facts), Elrohir looked like he might drop dead, and Nef gulped. Second day, and now she had to face the horrors of Bombadil's poetry (they only had him on Wednesdays). Thing weren't going like she had planned them.

Now, the good old normal-school- Nefhuinëiel, would have stood up, and said some things, that would make even a construction-worker blush. But Nef knew better of Sauron, and didn't fancy spending a lifetime in detention. So she settled on receiving looks of pity from Faramir, Èomer and Elladan, and going back to working on a equally-sided triangle.

*~*~*~*~*

He carefully put the mushrooms in the pot, brushing the past piece from his perfect hands. He then put one perfect finger in his perfect mouth (perfect moist, full lips), sucking the little perfect cut he had made be accident. Sam licked his lips. Now, he turned on the water, and smiled slightly (but perfect) when the water ran over his beautiful, perfect hands, his perfect clear blue eyes shinning like...-

"Would you stop that for just a second??" Pearl asked irritated.

Sam tore his eyes of Frodo, "Huh??"

"Gazing longingly at Perfect-Frodo," Pearl said with a sly smile, and gave her cookie-dough a good punch.

Sam blushed scarlet, "I wasn't..." Pearl sent him a dirty look, practically saying 'don't lie to me, Sweetchums'. "Maybe I was..." he murmured, and went back to his chopping tomatoes.

Pearl smiled sweetly, "So, you fancy him??" she asked blankly.

Sam's head shot up, "Not so loud," he snapped and continued, "No..."

Pearl raised an eyebrow, and looked down at Sam's work. Two tomatoes chopped into pieces, together forming a heart. "Maybe..." Sam blushed even redder, and Pearl giggled.

"I must admit, he's pretty handsome," she whispered a few second after.

"You think??"

"Absolutely."

Sam shook his head and went to fry the vegetables, noting for Pearly to follow with her dough. "So, you and Peregrin...?" he said slowly, knowing that Pearl was the one blushing now.

"W-W-What about us??" Sam noted that Pearl stuttered again.

Sam smiled cheekily, "He cured you're stuttering..."

Pearl looked up, and smiled when Pippin met her brow eyes, "Yeah, just waiting for the beast now." Sam looked puzzeled. "Never mind," Pearl said, and threw down her hands in defeat, "This isn't going to work."

"Need's more milk," Sam answered without even looking down the bowl. Pearl smirked at him, and went to battle the hobbit's answer the Melianwen (Diamond, something) for the milk. Sam sighed, and resumed his Frodo- gazing. Now he picked up a spoon, with his perfect milky white hand, his perfect chestnut curls falling around his perfect face, witch...

~*~*~*~*~*

"Maybe Mrs. 'daughter of Thalion', would like to tell us all, WHY a^2 + b^2 = c^2 ??"

Melianwen blinked, and stared at Professor Celeborn. A-whatta was that?? "Uhm..."

"What was that, I didn't quite hear you??" the blond teacher said, looking like the greatest pleasure he could get about now, was flunking her from the first day.

"It just is, people wiser then me have found out that it is, and I do not want to put myself responsible for making mistakes with their hard work," a male voice hissed behind her.

Melianwen didn't think twice, It just is, people wiser then me have found out that it is, and I do not want to put myself responsible for making mistakes with their hard work."

Celeborn raised an eyebrow, "Oh, really??"

Melianwen held her breath.

"As much as it pains me, the little Mrs. 'daughter of Thalion' is right. No one really..." Celeborn continued, and Melianwen sighed of relief. She had seen what Aragorn and the elf had looked like, when they got back from detention. And it wasn't pretty.

She turned backwards, to thank her helper (in math, the tables were place neatly in five rows, single person tables). "Thanks, um...?"

The boy smiled slightly, "Boromir. And no problem really. Now turn around, and pretend to listen." Melianwen giggled for the first time in weeks, and turned. Now, that was her type of person, Boromir. And, he wasn't bad looking either...

~*~*~*~*~*

Mîm looked blankly at her home-made map, and turned to Rosie, "Is this supposed to look this way??" she whispered urgently.

Rosie looked up from her work, and shrugged, "I have no idea." Her map looked almost messier then Mîm's.

Mîm thought for a few seconds, followed by a few more, and some after that. Then she threw her pencil and lineal on the table in defeat. "Stupid hobbit," she growled angrily. Rosie looked wounded. "Not you, that blockheaded Professor Baggins." Yes, they had Geography, with Bilbo Baggins. (A/N: He likes maps...)

"There's only one way to do this," Gimli added from the next table. Rosie nodded in agreement, "Make something up," they both said in one voice. Mîm smiled evilly, and went to work. Well, Rivendell was on the west side of the misty mountains, right?? Moria, easy to place. And Mirkwood, big wood on the east side of the mountains. Now, where to put in Rohan...???

~*~A/N: Sorry it's so short- but I must go to bed now, New Years tomorrow. And Dad's breathing down my neck, so I'm getting nervous here. Next chappy soon, I promise. Now press down there, and tell me what you think of the story/chapter !!!

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BYE!!!