The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith

By Aiwendil Greenleaf

Disclaimer: All belongs to Tolkien. Except the plot, and those crazy OC's...

~*~* A/N: Here's something for the Haldir-lovers. Love you!!! For the first time in POV, and Haldir's nonetheless. Now, be happy, and cheerie.

Reviews:

wujasmine: Thank you. *Blushes*



****************The Growing Pains of Haldir, student of PRCMT*********************



Friday the 15th of November



Morning journal. Welcome to the life of an elf student.

Friday. By any means a fine day. The last day of the week, singing lovingly about the weekend at hand. And just as a reminder of our situation, the most boring day of the week. The day invented for gazing emptily into space, and throwing stuff at various Dain-students.

I strolled after Figwit on the way to our first class, English. Of cause, he seemed annoyingly bouncy this morning, not matching my hangover very well. Neither does English, by the way. And let's not begin with History... But I do what I always have done. I take one class at a time.

Outside the classroom we were met by Legolas and Nef. Nef gave me a brief hug, and then tried to calm Leggy down. Apparently she had been talking with Faramir, and Legolas found that very bad. Not that I disagree, getting close to Faramir is getting close to a bad joint. Never wise, unless you wanna puke. That sounded clever considering I just made it up.

Turns out Professor Gandalf must've been in a shitty mood (might be because he was banned from the kitchens for unknown reasons last week), and had given half the class C's. I myself got a D-. Turns out writing "English class is boring" when the subject is "boring things", isn't counted artistic or modern by Professor Gandalf. Both Nef and Figwit thought it clever, not to mention Aragorn, who copied. I swear, I saw a B+ on his paper. Teacher's pet.

The rest of the class was uneventful. Unless you count Éomer throwing a worm in Arwretch's hair an event. It was pretty funny though, and Gandalf accidentally turned her hair green, when trying to make it go poof (or whatever he was trying). Since Wretch got renamed she's been so cranky. Wonder why??

Nef found the whole deal greatly amusing. She's pretty when she's laughing. God, this is turning out sappy. On the other hand, Aragorn thought it even funnier. This got him detention with Sauron. Glad it's not me, I hear someone has to catch the "Precious Hisser" so he won't freeze over the winter...

As we always do after yet another torture session, the elves went smoking. Legolas felt greatly sorry for Aragorn. I think he might fancy him, and visa versa. Nef seems to think the same, as she smirks every time Legolas mentions Aragorn. I dunno, maybe it's kinda cute. Elladan and Elrohir was planning some wicked joke to play out on Professor Galadriel in class. I mentally noted to get a seat in the back and/or away from them. Flashy, computer generated Galadriel v. Scary. Mark my words. In other news, I got stoned. Again. That might be why I forgot about staying away from trouble.

Since Sauron nearly court us all on Wednesday (save Legolas and Nef, bless them), we had tightened security. Figwit was on tree-watch-duty, and we had a quick escape plan ready. Not that I would remember in my current situation.

Somehow I got to the classroom for History. I think Legolas might have carried me, or maybe it was Nef. Or Glorfindel, someone blond at least. When the small fishes (in bright pink and blue colours) stopped dancing on my table, I found that I was in fact sitting just in front of the twins. With Nef at my side, shooting some very meaningful glares. Something in the lines of "You stupid, stoned, twit, can you do anything but get people in trouble?" Nef has really meaningful looks, in very big sentences.

Professor Glaladada, or whatever, was just going over the details of the last alliance, when something exploded in her face. And turned her pink with yellow polka dots. After the seconds of silence, and the collective gasps of horror, from student within her reach, everything went kinda blurry. I flashed back to find Elladan keeping me from giggling. And we appeared to be in a broom closet. Elladan, Legolas, Nef, Aragorn, Figwit and me, in a very small broom closet. Note to self, if I get a nasty blue mark on my foot, I'm to blame Aragorn. Clumsy humans, always stepping on people. I think I saw him grab Legolas' bum. Scary mental image. Then the dancing fishes returned. Must buy better quality weed, those fishes are kinda spooky.

Geography, one of the better classes, when it comes to sleeping. The leather cases you put maps in, can be used as a v. Comfy pillow. Heard Professor Baggins say something about school trip next Thursday. Heard a thud from behind. Later found out we're going to Emyn Muil. Understood why Boromir fainted. I have to try listening in class's, I really must. But it's so damn hard.





Saturday (or actually Sunday) the 16th (17th) of November



Dear Journal,

I'm scarred for life.

This midday, I found out I lost my lighter yesterday, so I went to look for it. I thought of looking in the broom-closet, but I didn't find anything pretty. Well, Leggy is pretty. So, Aragorn and Legolas engaged in some activity, where you apparently don't need any clothes. So I'm guessing they weren't playing cards. Legolas as a nice ass though. Valar, I need to get some pussy soon. Even Arwretch will do.

Even more disturbing. I went back to my room (bumping into several hobbit's as I went), and found Nef waiting for me. No, unfortunately (for my new found horny-ness) she was dressed. But opening a bottle of champagne with Figwit, and seemed extremely pleased with something. That something turned out to be Leggy shagging Aragorn in the closet. How she found out, I don't wanna know.

So, we shared a bottle of champagne. Then Figwit had some Vodka, and we played 'I've never'. Turns out Nef is quite wild... And Figwit has had sex every time, every place. We drank a whole bottle of vodka. And then we giggled over stupid jokes. Then Legolas came by with more champagne, which we drank. Then he also got some of my Gin (I hide it under a lose floorboard, you never heard). Turns out the whole Legs/Estel deal is on courtesy of Mrs. Anìron. Never underestimate women, never. Legolas kissed her on the lips, and got up, crashing into various objects before he left. He said he wanted to lick the Dunedain some more... Nef grinned uncontrollably and Figwit looked like he might get sick. Then he went and threw up.

When Figwit returned ten minutes later, Nef and I had already packed for a little smoking trip. Figgie said 'no' in very tired voice, and laid down.

So, campus was supposed to be quite. No one out after dark. Nef found it amusing to scare the shit out of some humans drinking in some bushes. Recognised one, think his name is Mablung or something. We bumped into Éomer too, but he was going back to his dorm. Looked sick, too.

Anyways, since it was a very special accession, Nef and I actually got high on some fine weed. Not that cheap stuff the hobbit's sometimes sell you, the good stuff. Nef giggled like school girl for what seemed like hours. So did I, but surprisingly enough, we didn't get court. Then there's a fade into black.

My head hurts like Mordor. And, I woke up this morning, Sunday, with a knife craving in my arm saying 'Nef and Haldir 4 ever' in a heart. Nef has one too. Speaking of the princess, she is passed out in Figwit's arms, and I really don't feel like waking her. She looks so peaceful. Wait 'till she wakes up and feels her head. I placed two aspirins and some illegal codeine tablets on the night-stand, when the wake they'll thank me. Now I need coffee. And I might wanna ask Aragorn how the "drunken-Dunedain-licking" went. Maybe I'll have a smoke first. Yeah, good idea.

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~*~ A/N: Hmm, that was fun writing. I luv my Haldir. And his new tattoo. Muwuhuhahahaha!!! His marked mine forever!!! No, he's marked Nef's forever. Bloody hell. Review good people. Did you know that the "Word" paper clip, also falls asleep. Kinda insulting really... "You're so boring, I don't even wanna help you, and I'm not a real person." Bloody clips.

REVIEW!!! Gotcha...

Haldir Lovers United, Show you love for Haldir and Review!!! God, I love that elf...

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