The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith

By Aiwendil Greenleaf

Beta reader: Jessa Sprite (God bless her)

Disclaimer: Tolkien would be rolling around in his grave, if he knew what I was doing to his amazing creations. Not mine, not making any money. Don't sue me, I'm just playing with them. Swear I'll put them back on their shelves when I'm done. More or less whole. And another thing: "LIKING THE DUNEDAIN" AND "ARWRETCH" BELONGS TO BREEGIRLS (DE AND KRISTIN)!!!! Remember that, I kiss the ground at their feet. Literally. ^.^

~*~*~ A/N: Sorry I was kicked off, but here we are at last. I'm so in the write a lot mood. Still, I know I jumped fast over the whole Legolas/Aragorn thing. So here's the good stuff, or some good stuff at least.

Dear Reviewers. I don't have time to write to you all, but thank you for the reviews!!!!! I never had this many before. *Cheeky smile* And I'm princess of Slash... *Big smile* All you non slashers, I don't care, Legolas/Aragorn 4ever!!! Don't read if you don't like.

Warning: Slash, not graphic sex, but still kissing!!!



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"Kindly pull the curtains down," Mîm sobbed, and buried her head in her pillow. Rosie sent her a blaming look, and put her hands on her hips. But she obliged anyway. Mîm had stumbled into their room at six in the morning, beer in one hand. Then she had stood frozen by the door, as Sauron's footsteps echoed down the hallway. Rosie remembered hearing something in the lines off "Going to sleep," and then Mîm had collapsed on her bed.

"Drinking isn't allowed," Rosie said, more to herself then to Mîm.

"And don't I know it," Mîm grinned, then clutched her head in pain. She noted never to move her face again.

"Did Gimli survive??"

Mîm thought about the question for several seconds, "I think..."

Rosie raised her eyebrows, "You think??"

"Well, jeesh, I was drunk," the dwarf uttered in an annoyed tone.

Rosie smiled, "Like I didn't figure that one out."

"I should go check on him..."

"You should..."

"In a moment..."

Rosie shook her head, and pulled the curtains back. Mîm did a wonderful Nazgûl impression.

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Pain. Soul-numbing, heartbreaking, head-blowing pain. Nefhuinëiel blinked a few times, adjusting her eyes to the light. She was in a bed. In only her shirt. With someone, a dark haired someone. In a room with a giant weed poster. Haldir and Figwit's room. She defied the pain of moving, and looked up.

"Oh God."

Figwit stirred, and opened his eyes. Then focused lazily on her, "Nef??" Now he frowned.

"I repeat: Oh God." Nef turned her head the other way, and grabbed the painkillers on the nightstand, swallowing them dry.

"We had sex," Figwit mused. Then a confident smile settled on his face. Nef glared at him and got up, walking for her jacket and skirt. Getting dressed and having a smoke would be nice.

She stopped by Haldir's desk, "Oh, don't flatter yourself." She grinned evilly.

"How do you know," Figwit drawled, and sat up, "You probably fell for my sinister attraction." He turned his head to Nef, only to find her holding up a note, in Haldir's scappy handwriting, saying "You didn't have sex!!". Figwit groaned, "Fine, fine, fine."

Nef winked, and went out the door humming "Purple Pills".

She barely got out before she was confronted by a young human girl. Dressed in black, dress thingie. "Hi!!"

Nef cocked one eyebrow, "HI!!!" she chipped sarcastically.

The girl didn't seem to catch the joke, "Do you know where Haldir lives??" The girl was practically bouncing.

"Why?? Who are you??" Nef didn't feel like just giving such information away. Maybe Haldir owed someone money, or something.

The girl smiled, showing off a row of blinding-ly white teeth, "I'm Fiora. I have something for him."

Nef considered for a few seconds, "I don't know where Haldir lives."

The smile faded for a few seconds, then came back, "Well, no harm in asking. Bye, have a nice day!!" Nef stared open-mouthed after the girl, as she waved and skipped (yes, skipped) around the corner.

Nef blinked a few times, and shook her head in disbelieve. "Hi Nef- something-I-can't-pronounce," came a more "down to earth" voice.

"Hi Éomer." Nef looked up at the blank face, and smiled briefly. Solid rock- calmness.

"Um, did you see that girl??" Éomer's face was questioning, and curious. Nef liked that, no need to guess what he was feeling.

"Yeah, the weird one, asking for Haldir??"

Éomer nodded, "I thought I wouldn't tell her. With the knowledge of Haldir in the back of my mind, of cause."

Nef grinned sadly, and nodded too, "Same here."

There was a pause, "Why do you have 'Nef and Haldir 4 ever' craved on you forearm??"

Nef froze, and looked down. Yep, Éomer was right. "I honestly, don't know."

Éomer smiled, "Drinking is suck a bitch, eh?"

"What did you do??" Nef asked in a giggle.

Éomer smirked, "I came onto Arwretch."

Nef was silent for a few seconds, then started laughing so hard, she had tears rolling down her cheeks. "Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball," Éomer muttered, only making Nef laugh harder.

Someone shouted "shut up," from down the hall, and Nef seemed to get herself under control, "Yeah, mine is lame, compered to that." Éomer nodded with a sarcastic smile.

Nef took a deep breath, and sighed, "Why is it, that all names from Rohan, had a "´" in it?"

Éomer sent her a weird look, "How the hell would I know??"

Nef shrugged, "You're from Rohan??"

"So I'm supposed to know all about it??"

"Nah..." Nef grinned, and patted him on the back. "Have a nice day, Éomer."

The human smirked, "May yours be full of misery."

Nef sighed, and gave him a hug before prancing down the hall. She felt like having a smoke, then a nap. Maybe kick some dwarf-ass. Preferably one that didn't kick back.

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Aragorn opened his eyes slowly. The body in his arms whimpered as he moved. Legolas, his blond-babe. He had to talk to Nef, maybe give her a present worthy of her glory. Maybe a crown... Or a Ferrari. "Headache?" Aragorn asked, nuzzling the male elf's neck.

"The size of Mordor," came the answer.

Aragorn smiled, and placed a kiss on the blond hair, "Poor baby."

Legolas rolled to face him, and smiled briefly, "Hi."

"Hi, do you want some painkillers??"

Legolas sighed and buried his head and Aragorn's chest, "Kinda..." He murmured, and threw his arm around the humans' neck. Aragorn closed his eyes and hugged his love closer. "I have to thank Nef," Legolas said, muffled by Aragorn's chest.

"Same here." Aragorn pulled back and waited. Legolas opened his eyes and glared. Of cause a pretty pathetic glare, but still a glare. It soon turned into a weak smile. Aragorn looked amused, and slowly slit a finger over the elf's cheek. Legolas sighed, closed his eyes again. The human leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on the beautiful lips. Then another, deeper and filled with desire. Aragorn let his free hand (the one not trapped under Legolas) slide down the elf's perfect form, and was just reaching it's goal when...

The door burst open, and both jumped. Legolas ended up tumbling down from the bed, and tried desperately to keep himself in there. This involved grabbing onto the cowers, which Aragorn weren't holding to tight onto. So Legolas fell on the floor, pulling the blanket with him, leaving Aragorn naked in the bed.

"Oh God, I need a new room!!" Melianwen. Brilliant.

Legolas stared at her for a few seconds, then closed his eyes in horror. No WAY she wasn't telling. Before he could even notice Aragorn's state of clothing, Melianwen had thrown a pillow at him. Legolas looked up at the blushing Aragorn and shrugged in apology. Damn, how embarrassing could it get?

"Good thing I was stuck in Boromir's room," Melianwen muttered, as she picked her toothbrush from her trunk.

Legolas, crawling up in Aragorn's bed again, found the time to raise an eyebrow, "You slept with Boromir??"

Melianwen's ears turned pink, "No I didn't. I was in his room after closing hour, and we thought it was safest if I slept there."

Aragorn smiled evilly, "In his bed??"

"Yes. And he slept in a chair. Seems like he's more of a gentleman then any of you," the female growled. "Would the two of you mind getting dressed??"

Legolas found his boxers on the floor, and got up, pulling them on, "You don't seem very surprised, concerning us," he said suddenly. Aragorn frowned, the elf was right.

Melianwen smiled for the first time, in any of their company, "Oh please, even Boromir could tell you fancied each other."

Aragorn groaned and took the pant's Legolas was offering him, "Were we the only people who couldn't??"

"Most likely, yes," Melianwen grinned, and opened the door, walking out in the hallway. Her head popped back in, "Even though I hate you both, with the fire of a thousand suns, I'm happy for you."

Legolas opened his mouth and closed it again. "Thank you very much, Melianwen," Aragorn answered, and Mel send them a small smile.

Silence, while they both dressed. "When did she turn normal??" Legolas asked and looked up, "Did I miss the memo??"

Aragorn looked thoughtful, "About the time she started hanging with Boromir, really..."

Legolas smiled to himself, "God, this place is a pain."

"Tell me about it," Aragorn responded, and pulled the elf to a kiss. Legolas sighed of happiness, and snuggled to the humans' chest.

"It's not so bad"

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"No sex, no drinking, no rule-breaking, no sex, no drugs, no music, no cutting lessons, no talking back, no disrespect for teachers and no sex!!!"

Pearl finished the list, and gave Pippin a meaningful look, "What are we doing outside Principle Elrond's office??"

Pippin looked around, then began picking the lock on a door a few meters from the center of horror, "We're about to have sex."

Pearl looked outraged, "First of all: Oh, really?? Second of all: Here!?!?"

Pippin smiled charmingly, "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm."

"No kiddin'," Pearl murmured. The door opened, and Pippin pulled her inside. "I'm gonna rot in siners-hell."

(A/N: Pearl hater ^.^ Can you see where I'm leading it, or do you need more hint's?? *CoughpregnanthobbitCough* How do you explain that to the school nurse??)

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"Hi Faramir." Faramir jumped from his seat, as Nef walked into the room. "How are you this glorious morning??"

Faramir shrugged, and muttered an "Okay."

Nef paused and picked up a bottle of pills on his desk. "Sleeping-pills. Mind if I borrow one, I need to sleep though??" she asked boldly, and put on an innocent face.

"Sure..."

Nef opened the new glass, and took a pill. She received a coke from under her bed, and took it, before sitting down next to Faramir, "You seem beat."

The boy sent her a puppy-eyed look, "I'm fine."

Nef waited, but he didn't say anything. She sighed and got up. Looking closely at her roommate, didn't trigger any response, "I'll crash."

"I'll by silent, or leave," Faramir muttered, and got up. Before Nef could stop him, he was gone.

She frowned, but a drowsy 'sleeping-pills/codeine-mix-feeling' made her fall back on her bed with a smile. Now, sleep. There was a welcome prospect.

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Haldir greeted Glorfindel and The Twins, with a nod. "So, you heard Haldir??"

The blond looked questioning at Elrohir, and shook his head, "Heard what??"

"We're getting Latin," Glorfindel said and threw a lighter at him, "New teacher. Elf, and he's bringing a daughter."

"Oh..."

Elladan frowned, "Haldir, in the old days you would've started making dirty jokes by now."

The others nodded, but Haldir just shrugged. "Nefhuinëiel," Glorfindel said slowly. Haldir didn't look up, but the rest nodded knowingly.



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A/N: Okay, late. Review, I'll hold a party if I ever get 100 reviews. That'd be SO cool. Anyways, still many to go. Flames will be used to heat my room (the radiator is broke ^.^) !!!!