The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith

By Aiwendil Greenleaf

Disclaimer: Do we have to go over this again?? I don't own the LoTR characters, and you people own half the OC's. Ya' happy??

~*~A/N: I got 200!!!! Actually I got 213!!! Wow, that's something I'd never expected would happen with this story. Okay, anyway, moving on... Because I got so many reviews and my exams are successfully over (*sigh*) you get a big chapter!!! A big one, really big. Like 10 word pages. Now, that's what you get when you review.

And, if there's any perverted Hugo Weaving fans out there (who aren't busy watching hundres of him running around in The Matrix Reloaded), I have a little goody for you. A student/headmaster relationship. To satisfy my current Hugo loving...

Reviewers (Now that I love you guys so much):

Kat: Yes. Drunk people should not care. About Bret, I live in Denmark, he lives far away from here. But, in 20 years, when I'm either a lawyer or a writer, I'll move. And buy a red Ferrari, like Elijah... What kind of lollipop?? LOL!!

orlando_ fangirl: Oh, I lub you too. And please, I'm not the best... Well, if you think so.

bjam: Thank you, it's fun writing those chapters, and I kinda like them. And I have a beta, but I didn't have time to send it.

Kate: *Sulks* I'm not gay. But I think my best friend is. Anyway, don't send the evil Legolas, Nef isn't getting pregnant for the moment. *Smiles Smugly* But someone else might be.

Lady Idril: Thank you for the good luck. The math was the easiest test we've had this year, so I'm hoping for an A, Yay!! And thank you, thank you. This lovely chapter will start with Idril in action. Go figure, or read it.

offspring-the-kids-aint-a : Go you!! Nef and Haldir 4ever!! Have I mentioned I like you??

Renze: Thank you very much. I think a crowbar would be really handy...

Isilwen: Ihh!! I'm glad you like it, very glad.

alina: In this chapter, you'll see Haldir trying to get some. Oh just read, it'll be amusing.

The Oreo of Love: School library printers can be bitches. And thank you for the compliments.

DeeSarrachi: I agree. The bridge chapters are good in a long story like this. And thank you, thank you. Brook is turning out to be really good to write... Disturbing.

A Certain Individual: I don't know ^.^ But I'm glad you liked it.

Aerin: *LoL* You're very amusing when you're hyper. And I'll enjoy the good luck you send me. Also, enjoy and thanks for the review.

Fiora: Love and Insanity. Power and Chaos. We should rule the world, you and me. Make Orlando grow his hair long, dye it, and then have his ear pointed by a plastic-surgeon. Then we'd keep him locked up in the basement. *Smiles and sighs happily* That'd be nice.

Ennedacilwen: Thank you for reviewing, and for the kind words. I have no idea how you spell that word...

elfy baby blue: Incest, how lovely ~.^ I like that stuff, you have a pretty mind...

Chewy: I'm glad you don't care about the grammar. Makes me feel better. And I'm glad you like my story too.

~*~*~

Darkness. The Rehab was silent as the night, no chatter of smoking elves or drinking dwarfs, for some unknown reason. Maybe just to make it sound spookier...

Idril's head peeked behind the corner, "Clear."

"Good," Lainauriel answered, as they both started sprinting over the big open space on the eastern side of the center. They were most appropriately wearing black clothes, well, leather pants, tank-tops (Idril's was saying 'Bad Ass', Lainauriel's 'Bad Girl') and leather jackets.

In a few seconds they met their challenge. Normally, no one could get out the center. You could hide in the small wood when you were cutting lessons, but getting out... That was trickier. Idril smiled briefly at the barbed- wire fence, followed by a moat and then a 15 feet high electrical fence. 2000 Volts. "Idril, isn't that what they used to the fences in Jurassic Park??" Lainauriel asked slowly.

Idril nodded, then pointed casually at a big tree, "We'll crawl up there, and jump over. On the way back, we'll crawl up that one-" She pointed at a tree on the other side of the fence, "And jump back."

The blonder of the two bit her lip, and brushed a bit of hair from her face, " It's pretty high."

"Are you a sissy??" Idril asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lainauriel puffed up her chest, "Let's go crawl some trees." With that she walked over, and grabbed the nearest branch. Idril followed, looking smug as Satan herself (because Satan is a woman. You think a man could be so cruel??).

***

Pearl glared over the top of her cheap romantic novel, glaring at her roommate to be precise. Sam hadn't spoken to her after he found out she was pregnant. Actually she had only spoken civilised with Brook. That was weird. "Sam, would you mind talking??"

Sam looked up from his heartsease flowers, and seemed both angry and disappointed, "Maybe I do."

"Hey pal!!" Pearl yelled suddenly. PMS, damn those hormones. But if she was lucky, sadness wouldn't come, only enough anger to yell at Sam, "It's was an accident, I didn't mean to get pregnant with Pippin's child. Not exactly my plan!! And then you, who were shagging Frodo Baggins, have the nerve to tell me how to act!! Who the hell do you think you are!?!" Pearl took a shaky breath, and then found her eyes watering up, "And I miss you Samwise. I need you right now, why won't you talk to me??" With that, she broke down crying on her bed.

Without a word, Sam sat beside her, in silence hugging her as she cried.

(A/N: *Sniffles*)

***

"Did you know that you foot is as big as your arm, from your elbow to your wrist??"

Faramir smiled briefly at his girlfriend, "I've seen Pretty Woman."

Gaelwyn let her foot fall down on the floor (she had been measuring, to prove her point), and sighed, "I'm bored."

"And we actually have lot's of Latin to do," Faramir answered, and went back to his notes and books.

Gaelwyn pouted slightly, and started clicking her tongue, "Shouldn't we go to Haldir's room?? Nef must be there because-" Gaelwyn waved her hands, "She's not here."

Faramir gently placed his pencil on his desk, "You can go, I need to work on this." Gaelwyn didn't look convinced. "Look, your father is looking for every opportunity to flunk me, I have to be the friggin' best," Faramir added in a sneer.

"You sneered at me," Gaelwyn said, pissed, "I'm leaving."

Faramir glared at her, "Fine."

"Fine!!" Gaelwyn growled and slammed the door behind her. Once outside, she leaned against the door with a sigh. Bloody hell. She paused but didn't go back in. Determined, she went in direction of Haldir and Figwit's dorm. Somewhere along the way, tears began running down her cheeks.

***

"Now, let's all join hands and say why we lost our temper!! Miss Saphirelaughter??"

Mîm stared at the teacher in disbelieve. He smiled the kind of 'comforting'- smile. Creepy as hell. Now, there was a perfectly good reason for her to be there. Mîm had been slightly... provocative in English Class Friday. When Galadriel had asked her to work with a word, inflect it if you'd like, Mîm had chosen to bend 'Bitch'. Bitchy, Bitchier, Bitchiest. And then Galadriel was in an evil mood. Now, there's something worse then detention, the place the really tuff crowd gets send to, the place even Legolas has nightmares about...; Anger Therapy with King Théoden. Held every Saturday, most crimes done on Friday.

Mîm opened and closed her mouth a few times, "She deserved it??"

Théoden seemed shocked, and kinda angry, "Miss Saphirelaughter!!!"

A tall human grinned behind Théoden's back. Éomer, that was it. Beside him, Fiora was giggling loudly. Not that Théoden noticed, he was too busy trying to yell at Mîm.

"This is interesting," Fiora confirmed, looking around.

Éomer snorted, "Hardly. He'll make us talk about our feelings..."

"But, what did we do??" Fiora was utterly clue-less, "Nothing we haven't done before."

"For your information, Fiora, we threw a water-balloon at Saruman," Éomer said in a sarcastic voice, and Fiora nodded. Éomer rolled his eyes, "And it was filled with paint."

Fiora smiled broadly, "I know, it was fun," she squealed.

"It was," Éomer mused, "Did you see his face??"

"Get out of here, now!!" Fiora mimicked, a fine imitation of their Arts Teacher.

Èomer laughed slightly, "And say hello to King Théoden from me!!" he finished, and Fiora giggled happily.

The before mentioned King cleared his throat, getting the attention of the entire room. "Now, let all face our angry feelings." The room seemed to hold its breath. Théoden picked up something from his desk, holding it out with a smile, "We'll tell them to the Confidentiality Stick!!"

***

"How was detention?"

Nef glared at Haldir and he smiled. "I missed you," she answered sweetly.

Haldir arched an eyebrow, "How much?"

Nef smiled evilly, straddled him and began to unbutton Haldir's shirt. She slowly licked and nibbled her way down his chest, while Haldir's moans began to grow in force. Just when Nef began pulling down the zipper of his jeans...

There was a loud knock on the door. Haldir jumped back, and Nef turned her head sharply, eyes suddenly alert. Gaelwyn's voice rang out, "Nef, what are you doing??"

"My boyfriend, go away," Nef answered shortly, winking at Haldir. He smiled satisfied.

That was until Nef heard the strangled sob, Gaelwyn made as she was about to leave. Nef sprinted to the door, and tore it open. Sure enough, Gaelwyn crying. "What the hell??"

"I'm a silly schoolgirl, crying over nothing," Gaelwyn sobbed, and Haldir groaned loudly, buttoning his shirt again. Females!!

Nef quickly got her poor-you-face on, and placed Gaelwyn in a bean-bag chair. Gaelwyn sniffled and took the tissue Nef held out to her. She blew her nose loudly, and Haldir huffed. Nef glared at him, before addressing Gaelwyn, "Sweety, not being cruel or anything, but what's the matter??"

Gaelwyn's eyes flickered from Haldir to Nef, "Faramir sneered at me, and we kinda fought a little."

Nef blinked, "How little??"

"A few 'fine's," Gaelwyn replied, dried her eyes, "My father doesn't like him, and he's giving him a hard time," she confessed.

Nef sent Haldir a questioning look. Haldir replied with a look, saying something in the lines of 'you wanted to play psychologist, not me'. Nef rolled her eyes, and turned back to her distressed friend, "Gaelwyn, you're not like this, remember??"

"Faramir is making me soft," Gaelwyn supplied, "Prick."

Nef shrugged, "What ever pushes your buttons." Haldir sent his lover a lopsided grin.

Gaelwyn seemed annoyed, "I was tuff girl."

"Hippie-girl," Haldir added helpfully.

"Rebel-girl. Anti-daddy's-girl," Nef continued. "And you still are. Now go back and make up with your sweet Gondorian."

Gaelwyn smiled, and got up with a determined look. Much like how she left Faramir. "Don't count on sleeping in your room."

Nef dismissed the advise, "Like I would've anyway."

Gaelwyn lifted her chin and went out the room. Nef sighed, "How cute," she drawled.

"Where were we??" Haldir asked innocently.

Nef raised and eyebrow, pushing Haldir back to his bed, "Well, I was opening your pants..."

***

Brook was calmly (believe it or not) reading a book. Of course, it was a book about a serial killer, who enjoyed torturing his victims for countless hours before killing them, but what the hell. It's the big picture that counts. There was a quick knock on the door, then Merry came crashing in. Brook groaned, and closed her book, "What??"

"Peregrin is driving me nuts, *again*," Merry grumbled, and sat down in Brooks comfy-chair.

Brook snorted, and got a beer from under her bed. Merry took it without question, drinking half in the first gulp. "He won't talk to Pearl. Pearl won't talk to him."

"Oh, she wanna. She just doesn't think he wanna," Brook said.

"And with him, it's the other way around," Merry groaned, "Why are we talking for them??"

Brook snorted, "The mystery here in life, childishness."

Merry nodded melancholically, "Maybe we should just grab them both, and lock them in the food stash," he said with a grin.

Brook looked thoughtful, "Let's do that," she decided firmly.

"I was joking." Merry sent her a funny look.

"Well, I'm not," Brook proclaimed and got up. "You coming?? I think you have to get Pip."

Merry stared at her, before shrugging, "Sure."

***

Boromir didn't open his window. The knocking had started a few seconds earlier, and was increasing in power. The to-be-Steward stubbornly kept reading in the Geography book on his desk. Suddenly the knocking stopped. A few minutes went by. Boromir was just about to sigh in relieve, when a rock smashed the window effectively.

Isildur's head emerged, "Was that a nice hit, or what??" Mablung's grinning face could be seen behind him.

Boromir rolled his eyes in annoyance, "It was bloody brilliant."

"I smell sarcasm," Isildur sang playfully, "Come on out bro', it's party- time."

Boromir didn't seem convinced, "No thank you."

"Oh come on, Boromir." Mablung was slurring heavily, and leaning a good deal on the window sill. A half empty beer bottle was dangling from his hand.

Boromir considered. Drinking is the best pain-killer known to all of mankind. "Where??"

Isildur gave him a silly smile, "Which bush do you prefer??"

"Studying is clearly overrated," Mablung supplied with a loud grunt.

Boromir smiled for the first time in days, "It sure is." With that, he got up and crawled out his broken window.

***

Arwen stared at her roommate. Éowyn was looking painfully smug. "You gonna go seduce Faramir??" the Elf asked, giving the blond a look which could only be narrowed down to 'you're out of your mind'.

Éowyn nodded, and applied some more lipstick, "That's the plan."

Arwen paused, and you could practically hear her two brain cells bumping into each other. Don't get me wrong, as far as stupid people go, there was people stupider then Arwen. Arwen just used her limited brain capacity on two things; boys and parties. This also included being a bitch, 'cause let's face it: you have to be a bitch to get the prince and rule the party. "Aren't we after Aragorn??"

Éowyn rolled her eyes, "Wake up and smell the coffee, Arwen. Aragorn would rather shag Legolas."

"Well, Legolas does look like a girl," Arwen mused.

Éowyn shrugged, "Yes, but that's not the point." She leaned forward and tried to make her cleavage seem bigger. It didn't work, so she added some toilet-paper. "Faramir is my new target. If only I can get to him fast enough..."

"He's with Gaelwyn..." Arwen raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean fast enough??"

Éowyn smiled mysteriously, "A little birdie told me Gaelwyn left Faramir's room, looking very distressed." She checked her watch. "Five minutes ago."

Arwen began to smile, "You're evil."

"And he's gonna like it," Éowyn said to herself.

***

"Rosie, have you seen Gimli??"

Rosie lifted her eyes from her shirt (she was cutting the sleeves, it was the latest hip. Hobbit's with tank-tops and snickers, beat that), and sighed. Mîm was looking a little to scared for her roommate's liking, "Cousin-fucker."

Mîm frowned in confusion, then grimaced and glared at the snickering hobbit, "You're a freak."

"Don't I know it??" Rosie mused, and began cutting again.

Mîm stepped out the her bed, and lifted the madras. She picked out a bag of (pipe)weed, and turned to face Rosie again, "You didn't answer me."

Rosie didn't look up, but kept her focus on cutting, "I don't keep track on your family. Isn't he with Balin??"

"Nope," Mîm bit her lip, "I bet he's with Fili and Kili."

Rosie stopped her work, "The new ones from Lorien??"

Mîm nodded, "Do you know why they were kicked out of Moria??" Rosie shook her head, and placed the shirt on her bed. Dwarfs never ceased to bring her amusement. "They beat up a teacher. And their father was an alcoholic. And they've done heroin."

Rosie suddenly realised something, "You're afraid that they'll have a bad influence on Gimli," she teased, but only half-hearted. Mîm did have a point.

"I don't want Gimli to become a crack-head or an alcoholic or beat up people," she admitted. "Nor Balin for the matter."

Rosie smiled slightly, "You do care."

Mîm nodded, and fiddled with her weed, "Isn't that what family are for??"

The hobbit nodded, "'Tell you what. I'll go smoke with you."

"Really??" The question was asked with both eyebrows raised.

Rosie grinned, "That's what friends are for."

***

Faramir was troubled. He wanted to go after Gaelwyn, but then again, he didn't. Maybe she wouldn't wanna talk to him, after all she was the one who stormed out. And... he wasn't good at this stuff. Someone knocked on the door. Since Nef was with Haldir, it could only be one person. He skipped to the door, slightly faster then necessary, "Gaelwyn, I'm so glad you..."

That surely wasn't Gaelwyn. The girl was blond, for one thing. It was... wait a sec, "Éowyn??" Faramir felt his eyes widen. The bitch looked good, and her boobs seemed bigger then usual. Maybe it was the tight, low-cut shirt. Her leg also seemed longer, maybe because of the short skirt.

"Hi Faramir." Éowyn batted her eyelashes, and chewed on her gum. It appeared to be pink. "Can I come in, thanks." She didn't wait for an answer, she entered between 'in' and 'thanks'.

Faramir stood in the door a few seconds, then closed the door, "Do whatever you like." When he turned around, Éowyn had made herself comfortable in his beanbag chair, making the skirt seem even shorter. Faramir snapped out of his daze, "What do you want?"

Éowyn looked flirtatiously at him, "You."

"A-what?" Faramir had sat on his bed, and moved slightly backwards from the blond human girl.

Éowyn leaped up, and before Faramir could fight and/or get out, she had tackled him, holding him in place under her. She looked satisfied, "I always did, want you I mean, at least a little."

"Comforting to know," Faramir replied, voice squeaky.

Éowyn grinned like a maniac, and quickly bend down to kiss the trapped Faramir. He tried to struggle, but when her tongue came into play, he stopped. It wasn't like he was kissing her back, but Éowyn turned out to be quite a kisser. And she had a really good grip on Faramir, making escape impossible.

"What the hell?!?"

Faramir found himself being able to breathe again, and opened his eyes to see Éowyn looking at the door with a smug grin. He turned his head, and gasped. Gaelwyn. Tears were welling up in her now glassy eyes, and her lips were quivering. Without a word she stormed out. Éowyn smiled, "Good," the mused to herself, and giggled when Faramir pushed her off.

"Bitch!!" he spat angrily.

Éowyn tilted her head, "I think I'm all you've got left now..." With that, she walked out the room. Faramir wiped her lipstick off his lips with the back of his hand, and walked out his room in search for Gaelwyn.

***

Brook steadily pushed Pearl onwards, ignoring the protests she was making, "I don't see the point."

"They have just gotten T-bars," Brook sang, and Pearl suddenly began walking faster. Trust a pregnant person to follow you, if food is nearby.

They rounded a corner. Pearl frowned when she saw Merry standing there, holding the door slightly open. "Aren't you gonna have any, Merry??" And Pippin's voice from inside.

"You set us up, you little..." Before Pearl could finish the sentence, Brook pushed her into the small room and the door was closed behind her. It was really dark, but smelled like food, which was good. The door was locked with a loud 'click'. "Peregrin??"

The sound of somebody moving was heard, then swallowing (Pearl assumed he had been eating already), "Yes."

Nobody spoke. Something touched Pearls arm, and she jolted slightly, "Chocolate??" Pippin was apparently offering her sweets.

She took it, while grumbling, "You, closed room, I'm having a bad déjà vu."

"Hey, I didn't set this up," Pip snapped from somewhere to Pearl's left. "It's you who won't talk to me."

Pearl snorted, "Hardly. You hate me because I got knocked up."

"Hey!! I love babies," Pippin defended himself. But the pout could easily be heard in the dark.

Silence again. "Then why haven't you told me you're happy??"

Pippin scrambled in the direction of his love, hugging her when he finally got there, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Pearl whispered, and buried her head in Pip's shoulder.

***

Merry smiled broadly, and pulled back from the door where he'd been listening, "They're good to go again."

Brook grinned in glee, "I was right."

"Sure," Merry snorted, and looked mischievously at Brook, who tackled him with a cheer.

***

Melianwen looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and her make-up was all smeared. It was fairly obvious that she had been crying for several hours. Luckily Legolas and Aragorn hadn't been in their dorm for hours. She remembered when she first got to the rehab center. She had been proud and strong. She had believed in coming home soon. Within days. When Boromir offered a temporary runaway from her situation, she took it. It was selfish, she new he had feeling for her, bigger feelings then she had for him. But she figured she'd be able to run away again. She had always been good at running.

And now she was stuck. No way out, and the only person who cared for her?? She just refused him, kind of anyway.

Melianwen shook her head to clear her foggy mind, and splashed some water, from a half empty bottle, on her face. It helped a little bit. She then carefully redid her make-up, and put on some fresh deodorant. Ready to go. Ready to find Boromir.

***

"Twelve!!" Fiora exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air, and waving them around. Éomer burped, and began on his beer number twelve. Fiora grinned and began chanting, "Chug, chug, chug, chug." They were calmly, as friends, sitting in Fiora's dorm room. Trying to drink each other under the table. In a purely friendly way. 'Under the table' was figuratively speaking, since they actually were situated on the floor.

Éomer lifted his head up to gulp the last beer, and when he looked at Fiora again, she wasn't sitting up. He smiled at his victory, as the girl began to snore slightly. Getting up, stumbling a few times, he lifted her to her bed. "I win," he smiled and walked out the door.

Okay, so Éomer admitted to himself that he had a little to much. Twelve beers was just about the right amount you need to get seriously dizzy and kinda queasy. He stopped to breathe a second, then continued around the corner to his room.

*Thump* Something soft, heavy, and pretty fast moving bumped into the not- so-sober Éomer, who promptly fell on his ass. He blinked up at the blurry figure, who had stopped and was leaning down to him. "Hey princess," he garbled at the womanly form. That was when his eyes slipped into focus.

"Éomer."

Éomer recognised the voice, the hair and the eyes as Gaelwyn. "Sorry, but my balance was under a lot of pressure." Gaelwyn didn't reply, she just helped him up. That was when he noticed the tears. "Hey, what's the matter??"

Gaelwyn looked up at him (he was actually pretty tall, about a head higher then her), and then began sobbing. Unsure on how to handle the situation, Éomer did the thing he would've wanted her to do. He softly, and awkwardly, hugged her. Gaelwyn sniffled, and buried her head in Éomer's chest. The human debated on what to do, and settled on a not-so-bad alternative. "Come to my room, I have something to calm you down."

Gaelwyn nodded and dried her nose in her sleeve, before trailing after Éomer. His dorm was one of the better. Gaelwyn dropped down on his bed and when he held out a glass, she drank it without questioning the content. And choked when the burning liquor went down her throat. Éomer grinned and slapped her back a few times, then rubbed it soothingly. Gaelwyn laughed slightly, then fell quiet. "Faramir, he..."

Éomer placed a comforting arm around the elf, "What did he do??"

Gaelwyn took a shaky breath, "He was kissing that, that..." She couldn't find a word that sounded evil enough. "Whore!!" She paused, "Your sister."

Éomer began to see the big picture, "Oh." Gaelwyn started sobbing again, so Éomer decided to hug her again. After all, it helped before.

"Is something wrong with me??"

Éomer froze, he was not qualified for this sort of situation, usually hiding behind black humor was his way out. And now Gaelwyn was staring at him with those big, pretty, green, glassy eyes of hers.

"Hey," Gaelwyn mused and tilted her head, that somehow had ended up really close to his, "You have brown eyes." Éomer nodded slowly. "I never noticed," Gaelwyn confessed softly. Not that the human heard Gaelwyn, Éomer was busy staring at her pink lips. They looked like they were moving closer, and before he knew it, his eyes were closing.

Gaelwyn tasted like the drink Éomer had given her, and a little bit of mint. It was nice. Shit. He was kissing Gaelwyn. Gaelwyn, as in Faramir's girl and Gil-galad's daughter. And as far as he remembered, Faramir actually smelled a little like mint. That could mean that he wasn't actually tasting Gaelwyn, but Faramir. It wasn't helping the situation. And why the hell was Gaelwyn torturing him so sweetly with that clever tongue?? It had to be criminal.

Gaelwyn refused to think. With her eyes closed, she could easily imagine that she was kissing Faramir. Both him and Éomer had light facial hair, typical young boy move. Trying to seem older. Gaelwyn began stroking the boy's hair softly, and pushed him back against the wall behind his bed. Oh God, what was she doing??

Faramir could tell her that. He was standing in the open door watching the pair. Glorfindel had been kind enough to tell him that Gaelwyn had followed Éomer, and Faramir wished Glorfindel hadn't informed him that. He had heard the 'brown eyes' line, and paused outside the door. Hoping that it was his mind playing tricks on him or something. But no. Slowly opening the door, Faramir found his worst fear coming true. Gaelwyn was kissing Éomer urgently, pressing him against the wall. Faramir opened his mouth to speak, yell, cry, just do something, but no.

Éomer's eyes darted to the door when he noticed light from the hallway. He froze, and firmly pushed Gaelwyn away, "Faramir!!"

Gaelwyn frowned at the blond male for a few seconds, then followed his gaze. Faramir was standing in the door. At least for the next three seconds, before he turned on his heels and ran off. Gaelwyn slid off Éomer's lab with a whimper, "Fuck."

"You can say that again," Éomer mused to himself, beginning to rub his temples.

***

Mîm had been looking behind various bushes for what seemed like hours, and still she couldn't find Gimli. Smoking with Rosie had helped a little, but she was nervous for her cousins' whereabouts. She had located Balin in his and Gimli's dorm, but he didn't know more then her. And now, she was aimlessly searching the Rehab. She had escaped from Sauron a few times ('I see you, I'll get you, you little... midget!!!'), and was honestly speaking, getting tired of looking for her lost cousin.

"Gimli, where the hell are you?" she asked no one in particular.

"He's chasing the dragon," came a slurred answer.

Mîm stopped dead in her track, and went to the nearest huddle of trees. Both Fili and Kili were smoking something, grinning at her with dazed expressions. "What the hell do you mean??" It had to be an expression, because chasing after Smaug (the dragon for locating student who escaped) would probably be a really bad idea.

Fili snorted, "Heroin."

Kili began laughing loudly, "He didn't look good." With that the dwarf pointed in the general direction of the woods.

Mîm bit her lip to keep from screaming all the curses she could think of, and walked into the trees. She found Gimli leaning against a tree, looking seriously ill. "I screwed up," he rasped upon seeing that Mîm had arrived.

The redhead nodded with a grim look on her face, before helping her cousin up. "You sure did."

***

"Dreaming of Zion awake, sleeping awake..." Elrond hummed to himself, then paused and frowned. Why wouldn't that stupid song leave his head??

The knock on his door was a welcome distraction, "Lord Elrond??" The door opened, revealing a young blond girl. Elf to be exact. With all the unnatural beauty that followed. Perfect forms, long leg, nice breast, slim waist, long wavy hair.

"Yes??" Elrond tried to focus on the young Elf's face. Wow, those eyes were really blue. The dark kind. Elrond mentally kicked himself, he shouldn't be thinking like this. "Are you a new student??" It was fairly late for a new student, but she did seem like one.

The girl nodded, then cleared her throat, "I'm Celebrían."

"Last name??"

"Nimras."

Elrond arched a brow. Unicorn, what kind of last name was that? It fitted her though. "Your name sounds familiar," he said smoothly, and gestured for the girl to enter the office.

She closed the door behind her, and sat down in the nearest chair. Elrond desperately tried not to look up her relatively short skirt. "I'm Lord Celeborn's niece." (A/N: I can totally change everything, this is AU)

Elrond briefly wondered how Celeborn had reacted. "Do you have your papers with you??" She must've been an urgent shipment.

Miss Celebrían received her files from her small hand-bag. Elrond scanned the paper, and had to fake a sneeze to hide his laughing.

'Name: Celebrían Nimras

Age: 2698

Reason for transfer: Alcoholic

Notes: None'

How very common. Never in his career had Elrond seen anything so... simple. "Would you like a counsellor, Miss Nimras??"

The blond Elf looked disgusted, "No."

Elrond shrugged. Better let the nice beautiful (he needed to stop his line of thinking) alcoholic decide for herself. She was sure to screw up anyway. Then she'd stay longer. Maybe. Again, Elrond did some metal self-kicking.

"Would you prefer a single room??"

"No."

Elrond's eyes flicked across the big list of rooms, "Good, we haven't got any left. Morie house?? With the oh-so-cheerful Fiora??"

Celebrían shrugged and threw her hair over her shoulder, "Whatever."

"Do you want to be here??" Elrond never thought to ask that before, usually the students never had a choice. But with this kick transfer, it might have been a voluntary visit.

"Not really," Celebrían replied slowly, "But I think it'll help me."

She got her papers, and went out the office. "I wouldn't count on it," Elrond muttered to himself, and went back to work. Work included getting ready for Monday. He was to teach a class. Theatre. Romeo and Juliet, the perfect play for the parents/teachers night the upcoming month.

"Dreaming of Zion awake, sleeping awake..."

***

Haldir was in heaven. Nef's sharp tongue proved itself useful in other activities then talking. Which was really, really good. He was so close, when...

A very loud knock on the door. Nef stopped her work. Haldir nearly screamed in frustration, "What!?"

"It's me," came a thin voice from outside, "Faramir."

Haldir glared at his girlfriend, "Your lovebirds need to work out their issues."

Nef smirked sarcastically at the other Elf, threw a blanket over him, and went to open the door while Haldir pulled on his pants, "Faramir, what the matter??"

Nef hadn't really felt nervous at first, but upon seeing Faramir's teary appearance, she mentally prepared to remove all sharp objects from their dorm. "Gaelwyn, she..." The Gondorian stopped his talking, and resumed his desperate weeping.

Haldir rolled his eyes, while Nef pulled her roommate into the room, "What, Sweety??"

Faramir swallowed heavily, and took a shaky breath, "When she came back, Éowyn was in my room. Kissing me."

Nef got a wild look on her face, "What!?"

"I couldn't stop her," Faramir claimed stubbornly. Nef noted for him to continue. "Then I went to look for her, and I found her in Éomer's dorm. She was kissing him Nefhuinëiel, kissing *him*!!" In the end of the sentence Faramir began to cry.

Nef sighed, and thought for a moment, "You did kiss Éowyn."

"I didn't mean to," Faramir whined.

"But you did," Haldir said firmly, "And Gaelwyn seeking comfort after that is perfectly in her right."

Nef glared at the other blond, before turning to Faramir again, "Now, you go find her again, apologise, and I bet she'll do the same. She was here before, she loves you." Nef liked the sound of that, it should work.

Faramir sniffed and started to look a little more determined, "Okay."

"That's the spirit," Nef encouraged her roomie, and smiled slightly when the human went out the door.

Haldir broke her line of thinking, "Can we have sex now??"

"If you wanna," Nef answered with a naughty blink. She was just crawling under the covers...

Three sharp knocks. Followed by about six more.

"This can't be happening," Haldir whimpered, as Nef yet agin went to open the door, revialing Éomer. He on the other hand, was looking very... confused.

"I need help."

Haldir groaned, "Don't we all."

Nef ignored him, and followed Éomer out in the hallway, "Let me guess, you kissed Gaelwyn??"

Éomer stared at her, "How on earth??"

"Faramir was here ten seconds ago, crying like a baby," Nef responded, making sure to sound really nasty.

"Gaelwyn kissed me." Éomer chose to defend himself.

"I bet you didn't try and stop her," Nef sneered, "If Faramir goes to kill himself, it's you fault."

Éomer was getting angry, "He kissed my sister."

"So that makes it all okay!?"

The blond human paused, "I feel weird."

Nef narrowed her eyes at her friend, "Drunk??"

"That too," Éomer mused, "But, I never felt like this before..."

Nef's eyes widened and she clutched her scull, "Do not tell me you're falling for Gaelwyn."

Éomer didn't say anything.

***

Melianwen found Isildur, Theodred (new one, he'd stabbed a teacher at his old school with a very sharp pen), Mablung and Boromir drinking obscene amounts of beer outside Mablung and Isildur's dorm. Actually, Boromir was the only one who was awake. "Boromir, I need to talk to you."

His dazed eyes met Melianwen's for a second, "I don't think we need to talk."

The dark human bit her lip, "I'm sorry."

Boromir blinked, not sure that he heard her right, "You're sorry??"

Melianwen nodded unmistakably, "Yes. I'm sorry I treated you badly."

"I need to have some eyewitnesses," the Gondorian murmured, but didn't try waking his friends.

Melianwen took a deep breath, "I didn't respect your feelings, I acted like a bitch and I'm sorry."

Boromir stared at his lover for several seconds, "And??"

"Can't you just be kissing me now??" she asked in a whisper.

Boromir scrambled to his feet, and did as he was told.

***

"You got a little whipped cream on your nose," Aragorn remarked, and went to remove it from Legolas' nose. Legolas giggle slightly, and licked the substance off Aragorn's finger.

"Would you two, please??" Figwit was sulking.

"You should go seduce some easy Dain girl," Aragorn remarked, and shuddered as Legolas kissed a small bruise over his left eyes. A battle wound that still remained from the fight with Faramir.

"I don't wanna," Figwit grumbled, and poked his pancakes. There was a loud crash, and Glorfindel came out from the kitchens carrying a tray with ice cream. The four of them had broken into the cafeteria, and found it a good place to relax really. Food and relative privacy.

"I want the ice cream, "Legolas cheered, darting for the container. Glorfindel easily avoided the hyper Elf, and put the tray on the table. Figwit smirked as Legolas emerged from the chairs he had gracefully fallen into. "Pricks." He walked back and sat on Aragorn's lap with a pout on his face.

***

"Mission accomplished," Éowyn said cheerfully, walking into her and Arwen's room with a satisfied grin on her face.

Arwen arched an eyebrow, and looked disturbingly enough like her farther, "Really??"

Éowyn clapped her hands together, smiling brightly, "Not only did I kiss him, the Gaelwyn bitch walked in on us."

"Wow, that's good," Arwen admitted.

"You bet," Éowyn smirked, not even knowing how much she managed to screw up Faramir and Gaelwyn.

***

Haldir slumbered happily into the covers, "That was great."

Nef 'hmm'ed her consent.

"I love you."

The she-Elf took a deep breath and smiled, "I love you too." She snuggled to Haldir's chest, "Do you think Gaelwyn and Faramir will be okay??"

Haldir shrugged, "If they are meant to be."

"That's sweet of you to say," Nef muttered, and fell asleep. Haldir turned off the lights and sighed deeply. Life sure was good sometimes.

***

Idril stared at her smoking shoes.

"Piece of cake, you said??"

Idril glared at her roomie, and continued to be fascinated about the blue shocks of electricity that came out of her fingers.

***

A/N: The End. Stay tuned for next instalment. Now, I have Danish exams, so I need to go. Bye!!!