The Private Rehabilitation Center of Minas Tirith

By Aiwendil Greenleaf

Disclaimer: No, the dear LoTR characters aren't mine. And I promise I'll put them back where I found them, when I'm done playing that is. The OC who isn't created by me, belongs to those who created them.

A/N: Matrix Reloaded has changed my life. I'm now an official Smith-Fan. And Neo has a really nice ass... Anyway... Here's another chapter. Keep the nice reviews coming. By the way, I got an A for my final Danish exam. And A+(!!!) in English. *Smiles Broadly* I cried so many happy-tears, you wouldn't believe it. B+ in Math, B in Chemistry and German. That's something to be proud of, If you ask me.

Now Lily's got an idea about how this Gaelwyn/Éomer/Faramir thing is gonna play out. But you lot will have to wait an see...

***

Fiora blinked her eyes open, ignoring her brain-splitting migraine, and listened carefully. Yep, someone was knocking on her door. "Fiora, open up."

Fiora shook her head to clear her thoughts, and got up slowly, "Hold on Celebrían." Her new roommate. Fiora didn't have any specific emotions yet, Celebrían could be broken down to smart, evil, sexy, and she flirted with everything that walked and talked. Fiora also suspected she was kind of gay or at least bisexual.

Normally, you couldn't lock your door, but a few flirtatious looks, from Celebrían, in Wormtongue's direction, had done the trick. Fiora pulled the key, dangling in a chain around her neck, out and unlocked the door. "It's almost eight, Fiora," Celebrían informed the sleepy redhead, but Fiora only scratched her head lazily.

Celebrían rolled her eyes and strolled into the room, "I signed up for Theatre this afternoon. Are you taking it??"

Fiora frowned slightly, "I don't recall." A pause in which Celebrían looked for her left shoe (she already had the right one on). "I think," Fiora decided with a nod, "Have you seen my T-shirt??"

Celebrían shrugged, "Which one??"

"The one that says; Alien Sex Friend."

Celebrían scanned the floor, locating the shirt in question. Halfway under the rug, for some unknown reason. Fiora took it without commenting, picking out a pair of baggy jeans to go with it. Celebrían dressed in a catholic schoolgirl outfit. Go figure.

***

Gaelwyn was nervously shifting from foot to foot, standing outside Faramir and Nef's dorm. She checked her watch for the fifteenth time; 7.59. "Come on out Faramir," the Elf muttered urgently, and reassumed the foot-to-foot (now) jumping.

The door opened, and Faramir strolled out, Nef right behind him. As soon as the human noticed Gaelwyn a hurt expression appeared on his face. "Not yet, Gaelwyn." Faramir continued walking towards the Chemistry class.

Gaelwyn was just about to respond, when Nef stopped, turned around and sent her a hard look. Gaelwyn closed her mouth and gazed longingly after Faramir, who continued walking, apparently content with Nef handling Gaelwyn for the time being. "Not yet, Gaelwyn." Nef said her name in a curtain tone, and it somehow made it sound extremely blaming. Gaelwyn only knew one other person who could do that; her father.

"But, how am I gonna apologise if I can't speak with him?" the dark Elf whined, choosing to show her pain instead of her current anger against her friend.

Nef made a growling sound deep in her throat, "Give him time. He's not ready to forgive you."

"What about me forgiving him?!" Gaelwyn spat, not being able to contain her anger.

Nef's eyes flicked briefly, "I don't wanna fight with you," she replied shortly, but with a sad hint in her voice. Gaelwyn sighed and let her tense shoulder's drop down in a more relaxed posture. "He didn't kiss Éowyn on propose, you kissing Éomer was deliberate," Nef reminded her sad friend.

Gaelwyn remained quiet. Nef slipped an arm around her shoulder, and the two of them walked in direction of the classroom.

"Boy, are they fucked up," Figwit said, more to himself then to Haldir, standing beside him.

Haldir nodded his consent, "Yep."

Right that moment Lainauriel and Idril passed the males, both wearing tight leather pants and leaving a reek of alcohol and pot behind them. "Maybe not that fucked up," Figwit decided.

Haldir shook his head for a change.

***

Pearl sighed happily, and snuggled into the covers. She had successfully called sick from class. The early morning wooziness helped supporting her little scam. It's so much easier to look sick, when you actually are sick. So here she was, in bed, snoozing in her comfiest pyjamas.

Some ignorant person shattered the image, knocking sharply on the door. "Speak friend and enter," Pearl said coldly.

"Mellon," a voice replied evenly. Pearl paused, trying to recognise it. "Hi, Miss Hornblower." Oh yes, that one. Frodo Baggins' pretty (and I might add smiling and polite) face appeared in the door opening. The rest of the young schizophrenic soon followed.

"Mr. Baggins." Pearl responded in the same casual tone. If he'd been any other (straight) person, Pearl would have most likely kicked the hobbit lad out, but what harm could a little gay hobbit do?? "Sam's at class."

"I wasn't looking for Sam," Frodo confessed, "I wanted to have a chat with you."

Pearl was confused, more then usual, "About what??"

"Well, Sam really," Frodo said with a grin. "I need to know some stuff."

Pearl sat up in her bed, and noted for Frodo to sit down, "What stuff??"

Frodo shrugged, "Like, why is he in this hell-house??"

"He's gay," Pearl answered shortly, and sent Frodo a sappy smile, "But I guess you've figured that out."

Frodo laughed shortly, then regained his common sense, "What's his favourite food??"

"Chocolate cake." Pearl seemed mightily sure regarding her answer.

"Gotcha," Frodo smiled, and got up, "Would you tell him to meet me tonight in my dorm."

Pearl arched an eyebrow, "I smell kinky food-sex."

"Naughty, little girl," Frodo teased and exited. Pearl snuggle back in her bed, a wicked smile on her lips.

***

Boromir gave Melianwen a suspicious look. How very fortunate that she dropped her Chemistry books right outside the class-room. And that she then winked, and asked him if he'd give her a hand.

"Alone at last," the young human grinned with a naughty tone.

Boromir considered his options; A) Jump her bones, or B) Leave. A) seemed like the nicer of the two, "What shall we do??"

Melianwen shrugged innocently, "The classroom is empty..."

Boromir wordlessly kicked Melianwen's bag of books inside the abandoned room, then picked her up, carried her in and closed the door behind them.

***

"Detention Miss Boffin, Bombadil at eight." Even though Brook was gasping and swearing, Gandalf didn't sound the least satisfied with the punishment. He only continued handing out papers with a sullen expression.

"What's with him??"

Merry regarded Brook out of the corner of his eye, "Maybe he's sick," the hobbit suggested.

Brook frowned softly, "Sick??"

"Let's hope so," Pippin chipped cheerfully.

Brook's face became momentarily evasive, then began smiling, "We should ask around."

"How exactly??" Merry asked interested.

"I've found connections," Brook said proudly. At the boy's blank looks, Brook explained, "I've been sucking up to Professor Baggins, hoping for good grades, maybe I can get him to tell us."

"Dream on," Pippin smirked, "The Teacher's are very picky when it comes to favourite students."

Brook sent him a dirty look, "You just wait an see."

***

Nef was picking a Math book up from under her bed, when the door banged open. Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel and Figwit soon entered, making the dorm pretty crowded. Nef sent them several funny looks, "What can I do for you??"

Aragorn answered, "Give us the whole Gaelwyn-Faramir story. Haldir wouldn't."

Nef looked like she thought about it, then made a short sarcastic smile, "No."

Figwit tried making puppy-eyes, "Puuuh-lease!!"

"Not bloody likely, the whole school isn't gonna hear it." Nef crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.

"They already know something is up," Elladan reminded her.

Elrohir finished his brother's sentence, "Faramir and Gaelwyn usually hang on each other, like you and Haldir."

Nef growled softly, but decided to get the group out of her hair, "Gaelwyn and Faramir had a small fight. While Gaelwyn was gone, Éowyn attacked Faramir, kissing him. Gaelwyn came back and saw them, running off. She bumped into Éomer and when Faramir found them, they were kissing." Nef eyed the group of males, who all were gasping and/or rolling their eyes. "I removed all sharp objects," Nef added.

"Good idea," Aragorn muttered, nodding slightly.

Nef sighed and shooed the guys out her dorm. After all, Elvin Poetry was up, and she couldn't wait.

***

"Rosie, can we talk a sec??"

Rosie nodded her content, and sat down on her bed, facing the serious- looking Mîm. "What is it??"

"Gimli's on Heroin," the dwarf confessed with a sad look on her face.

"What' you gonna do, send him to a rehab??" The Hobbit's joke only made Mîm scowl. Rosie sighed, "I have no idea, I never been beyond weed."

Mîm sighed in a yielding manner, "I'm screwed."

"Gimli's screwed," Rosie corrected, and continued off Mîm's dirty looks, "Oh, go tell someone, they'll help."

"Who, Wormtongue??" Mîm asked sarcastically.

Rosie shrugged, "You could try..."

***

"Professor Baggins??"

Dear old Bilbo lifted his eyes to meet those of Brook Boffin. She smiled a sickly cute smile, "I was wondering if Professor Gandalf was sick."

"We're concerned about his well-being," Peregrin Took added quickly. Somehow he managed to smile even sweeter.

Bilbo paused, regarding the two youngsters (he could see Meriadoc Brandybuck peeking from outside the classroom door). "You are quite right about the dear old Professor." Bilbo decided to play along. After all, Miss Boffin had been sucking up lately. Even more then Miss Undomiel. "Principal Elrond mentioned that a flu is about to spread." Bilbo sneered slightly, "Professor Galadriel saw it in her mirror. 'Surprises me she stopped admiring herself long enough to make a prediction."

Pippin looked utterly confused, but Brook only made a sympathetic look, "We feel with you, Mr. Baggins." With that, they went out the classroom.

"What was that about??" Merry asked. He had obliviously been eavesdropping.

"Professor Baggins originally wanted to be the History Teacher, but Professor Galadriel made it very clear that Professor Baggins wasn't good enough for that job." Brook explained with a proud look, "He's been cranky at her ever since."

Pippin changed the topic, "So, Gandalf has the flu?? I'd think Wizards knew some stuff to remove flu's."

"It's an evil flu," Merry crackled.

Brook sent him an adoring glance, and giggled, "Maybe Saruman made it by accident." The group laughed cheerfully while strolling down the hallway. They didn't know, that in fact, the flu that was about to spread was a minor side-effect of looking at Saruman's newest artwork...

***

"All right student, welcome to Elvin Poetry."

Nef lifted her head, and stared open mouthed at the newly arrived teacher. An Elf. A hot Elf. "Earth to Nefhuinëiel," Haldir sang softly beside her.

Nef snapped out of her daze, "Yes??"

Haldir was looking hurt. Nef reassuringly kissed the tip of his nose.

"I'm your Professor, you may call me Erestor," the Elf said smoothly, and flipped some of his black hair over his shoulder. "Hopefully, you'll find these classes more enjoyable then those you have with professor Bombadil."

Restrained laugher throughout the classroom. This seemed like a wise choice of subject.

***

Gaelwyn looked around the room, from her position at the foot of the stage. Considering she never knew they had a stage, it was pretty damn big... She blinked as the door opened, and Nef entered with Haldir, Figwit, Legolas and Aragorn. Nef greeted her with a wave, "Howdy."

The boys followed suit with restrained 'hello's. Gaelwyn sent Nef a questioning look, but the blond made a 'wait' gesture.

The door opened again. In came Éomer, Fiora, Éowyn, Arwen, Idril, Glorfindel and Lainauriel. Nef arched an eyebrow. Did this many people really sign up?? The next time the door opened, Faramir, Boromir and Melianwen. Faramir avoided both Éomer and Gaelwyn, standing himself next to Legolas and Aragorn. Nef sent Gaelwyn a look, before she could act out on her current urges. Rúmil, Celebrían and Orophin slipped in silently. Okay, everything above five feet tall.

The entire group was chatting around, when what seemed to be their teacher arrived. Simultaneously all students became quiet. Principal Elrond. He walked calmly up on the stage, with a satisfied smirk, and cleared his throat, "Welcome to Theatre. I'm your Professor for this class."

No reaction. Somewhere in the school you could hear a scream. And the torture chamber was soundproof. It was *that* silent!!

Elrond seemed extremely happy that he invoked such a reaction. "Sit down on the first rows." The students were still to surprised to do anything besides doing what they were told.

"The main goal for this class," Elrond dumped a heavy bundle of scripts on The stage edge, "Is a play."

"Surprising," Legolas muttered.

But not low enough, "Greenleaf, Sauron tomorrow evening," Elrond remarked evenly. Legolas groaned, and Elrond continued with a more evil smile then before, "To perform at Parents/Teachers Night."

A few pair of eyes widened, some gulped, and some just closed their eyes tightly. Elrond dropped the bomb, "Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet."

There was some gasping, some muttering about 'crazy' and/or 'stupid', and again closing of eyes, tightly.

Elrond enjoyed the situation more and more, when he pulled out his ace, "And I already decided on who gets which part."

AN: Cliffhanger!! Sorry it's so short, but I' going to Paris in the morning, so going to bed seems like a good idea.